The Magicians' Realm
by Kineil D. Wicks
Summary: If there's one thing Yami knows for sure, it's that he's the best Magician around—until his promotion is denied. He's not the sort to let this get him down however—but what with the shadow of the Boogie-Mage hanging over him, making his way to the top might not be as easy as it first appears...Book 1 of the Magicians' Realm.
1. The Invitation

**Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the long-awaited, long-anticipated first chapter of _The Magicians' Realm!_ Or am I deluding myself?...**

 **Anywho….This story was started in 2008—I've been working on it on and off for years, and I realized if I didn't start posting it now, I'd keep putting it off for an indefinite period of time, and who wants that?**

 **This is what those in the fan-fic-business like to call heavily AU, and will be juggling a couple of timelines, which will be delineated by markers. This story will also be split into three different parts—yes, it's that long.**

 **As my writing style has changed over the years, a few chapters (like this one) may appear less polished than others. My apologies. ^^;**

 **The characters are primarily from _Yu-Gi-Oh!_ , with a lot of original characters and characters from other media—I debated for a long time on whether or not to put it in the x-overs section of the crossovers, but eventually decided on posting it here because the _Yu-Gi-Oh!_ characters factor so heavily in comparison to the others. References will be listed in every author's note in every chapter, so you know what characters you're seeing. There are also original characters dotting the landscape too, just so you know.**

 **Anything else?...Yes: there will be a lot of Judeo-Christian tenets referenced throughout—characters attending church, Bible reading, Sunday school, etc., et al….The setting is also heavily based on America in the 1950s and 1930s. If you don't like either one, then this story is not for you.**

 **As for the schedule: We'll be updating this story every Monday until further notice (Tuesdays for those on the other side of the globe). Gives Monday a nice connotation, doesn't it? :) The updates will also tend to run long (at least for me), so** **….** **Make sure you have a fresh drink nearby.**

 **Is that it? That's it. Perfect! Let's get started! Welcome to the Magicians' Realm! :)**

 **References:**

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! © 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

Anzu Mazaki sat at the café, nibbling on beignets and scanning want ads.

 _Wanted: assistant at Most Potent Potions, working knowledge of plants required….Wanted: assistant to help with spell experimentation at the Administration Building, working knowledge of spell reversal needed….Wanted: assistant at Charmed, must know how to spell items…._

She circled another potential ad, regarded it for a moment, then scribbled it out, flinging away the paper with an irritated moan.

She leaned back in her seat with a sigh and rubbed her vibrant blue eyes. There was no way she could find a satisfactory job, not with her limited skills. She poked at her remaining beignet; she really didn't want to be a librarian's apprentice all her life.

She stared at the wrought iron railing of the café, tracing its intricate design in an effort to calm down and focus.

It wasn't working.

She looked beyond it at the bustling main street of her home town of Delvaire and sighed.

She wasn't anything important; she couldn't do magic or speak to animals or anything like the Grand Mages she had read about could do…she couldn't even do basic spells, for crying out loud! And since the beginner spell classes had been cancelled at the Administration Building, she was up the proverbial creek without a—

She paused in her ranting, having noticed a young man followed by a cluster of young children. She could see a schoolmarm behind them, trying to rein them back in. but the man himself—he had to be a magician, he had to be. No one else dressed that eccentric. He had a top hat on his spiny, black and red hair, and was wearing a belted shirt, dark pants, two waist belts, sharp-looking belted shoes, and a flowing collared cape that went down to his waist. There were dark bands around his wrist, white conductor's gloves on his hands, and a strange, golden, triangular pendant hanging from a lace around his neck.

He seemed to notice the cluster of kids, turned to look at them; yellow lightning-bolt shaped bangs framed his face. His violet eyes sparked as he threw up his arms and roared at the kids.

They all leaped back laughing, obviously not intimidated, and clustered forward again.

He dropped his shoulders and stuck his hands in his pockets, head cocked to one side, as though contemplating the knot of kids. Suddenly, his hands flew back out with a flourish. Birds and sparks flew, to the children's delight.

Anzu laughed, delighted. That was just the sort of thing she needed to lift her mood.

The man glanced over at her laughter before waving at the schoolmarm and the children, who waved back delighted. He ambled over to Anzu and leaned against the railing.

"Was something funny?" he asked. He had a broad, toothy grin across his face.

"You," Anzu answered simply. She wanted to try to act casual. "Was that magic?"

"It was," he answered, cocking his head. His hair and his hat exaggerated the movement. Anzu started to feel some color come to her cheeks; nothing like asking a question with an obvious answer. She struggled to find something else to say.

"My name's Anzu," she said finally. She folded her hands and tried to look demure.

"Really?" his eyebrows were lost in his lightning-bolt bangs. "Well, my name's Yami. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," Anzu replied, mostly to keep the conversation going. Oi, she felt like an idiot; next she'd be commenting on the _weather_ —yeesh.

Yami's head cocked again as he looked her up and down; she felt like she was under a microscope.

"Are you going to the Masquerade Ball this Friday?"

Of all the questions she was expecting, that was not one of them.

"Um, well, no, actually," she stammered. "As far as I know, only _important_ people get to go."

He grinned. "Congratulations, you are now officially important." He whipped out a ticket, so fast she was sure he pulled it out of thin air. "I happen to have an extra ticket, and—if you don't mind—I'd like you to go."

She looked at the ticket, and then to the person offering it. She tried a coy smile.

"You'd _like_ me to go?"

He faltered; apparently, he wasn't used to being questioned like that.

"Yes, I'd like you to go."

She raised her eyebrows.

"With me. On a date," he finished quietly.

Anzu smiled and gently took the ticket. "I'd love to."

He smiled broadly, until someone else started talking.

"So, did you ask her?"

Yami sagged. "Yuki, go away."

Anzu had to laugh. What looked like Yami in miniature had just come bounding up; she realized that he must have been watching from afar.

Yami gestured helplessly at the young, wide-eyed version of himself. "Anzu, this is my little brother Yuki, whom our parents will not let me get rid of."

Anzu smiled at his little brother. Yuki was wearing a light green jacket; his hair, similar to Yami's, was also unruly, and his eyes were light blue, unlike Yami's deep violet. He looked no older than twelve.

Anzu extended her hand for Yuki to shake. He did so.

"Yes he did," she told him. "And I said yes."

"Oh," Yuki said slowly. "You should know that he has a big ego."

"Really?"

"Yeah, that's what Kels says anyway."

Anything else Kels said was cut off as Yami grabbed his younger brother's shirt collar and gently dragged him away. "It was lovely meeting you. The time and location is on the ticket. Don't forget!" He snapped at the edge of his hat brim as he said this last statement; a few sparks flew.

It wasn't until the two brothers rounded the corner that Anzu let the breath she was holding in out in a long, drawn sigh.

*\\*/*

Teana couldn't help but sigh.

How did it come to this? She was scraping by on little odd jobs: waitressing, laundering, coat hanging, and now playing busboy—er, bus _girl_ —at the Masquerade Ball.

The only good news was that she would be able to dress up for this, and she planned to go all out. She had spent her meager savings on a beautiful dress, and she was now late to work, thanks to the dressmaker's insistence that the dress be properly wrapped.

Now she was trotting down the street as fast as she possibly could while carrying an awkward bundle. She heard the town clock gonging the time, poured on the speed, turning a corner—

—And ran smack into someone.

She fell backwards as the bundle went flying. Well, at least the lady knew what she was doing. Then again, she thought as she twisted to pick it back up, if she hadn't bundled it up, Teana wouldn't be late.

Someone bent down in front of her and picked up her bundle.

She gasped. This must have been the person she ran into. And he was _tall_. And thin.

"In a hurry?" he asked; he had a deep voice, like rich velvet. He offered her his hand and hauled her back upright.

"Yes, I am, and if you don't mind, I have to get to work." Teana grabbed her bundle and started off again, faster this time.

He went with her, long legs enabling him to keep pace with her quick step. "Do you run into people often, or only when you're late for work?"

"What makes you think I'm late?"

"Would you be hurrying if you weren't?"

"Point taken." She stopped before she ran into a carriage and turned to the man; she had to crane her neck to look him in the face.

"Listen, if you want an apology, fine: I'm sorry I ran you over. Can I go now?" She huffed off again, hoping to leave him behind.

No such luck.

"Actually, I was hoping for your name," he said from next to her.

Boy he was persistent. "I don't give out my name."

"Why is that?"

She looked at him sharply. "I hear that magicians can use your name to make you do their bidding, and to be honest, _you_ look like a magician."

He looked down at his black suit, confused. She rolled her eyes; she had actually meant the long cape and the unusual tie holding it in place, not to mention the odd hair. "And I hear they aren't too terribly bright, either," she added.

"Oh?" he noised; her suspicions were confirmed. "Well then, how about this: my name is Yami. It's a pleasure to meet you." He flashed her a grin. "Now, if you're a magician—and you certainly _act_ like one—then you can go ahead and use that against me."

She stopped and stared at him. "Okay…" she said slowly. "Yami, go away."

She set off again; he followed with a grin on his face. "See? That's just an old-wives'-tale," he explained.

She rolled her eyes; those muscles were starting to get tired. "Or," she sighed. "It could be because I'm not a magician."

"Do you dabble?"

"No."

"Pity," he said, putting a gloved knuckle to his mouth. "I'd bet you'd make a great one."

"Ah," she said, turning her head slightly. "But if you notice, _I_ am an average citizen, and average citizens _cannot_ become magicians."

"Says who?"

"Oh, let me think," she said, turning another corner. Her workplace was in sight now. "The Administration, the Civil Branch, my boss, my mother, my friends, society in general." She stopped in front of her workplace and put her hand on the door handle. "Listen," she told him. "I'd love to stay and chat. Tea, cake, the whole shebang. But I have a job to do, and you have a cape to iron."

He raised his eyebrows slightly and smirked. "Well then," he said, placing a white ticket on her dress bundle. "There's a ticket to the Masquerade Ball this Friday. We can do the 'tea, cake, whole shebang' thing then."

She glared. "Do you think I need that?"

"If you don't, then give it to someone else." He bowed, reached past her to the door, and opened it for her. Her boss looked up sharply.

"I'm terribly sorry," Yami said to her boss. "It's my fault that's she's late. I hope you don't give her any trouble for that."

"Oh, no sir! I won't!" her boss said, suddenly standing to attention.

Teana stared; her boss _never_ did that for _anyone_.

Yami leaned over to her as he backed out of the store. "Time and place are on the ticket. Don't forget!" he smiled at her and nodded at her boss as he left.

"What just happened?" Teana asked, looking at her boss. "Do you two know each other?"

If she had to guess the noise her boss made, she would liken it to a long, tremulous, drawn out sigh.


	2. Preparations

**Chapter 2, everybody! In which we get ready for this upcoming Masquerade Ball….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes! Finally, it starts! Now I need to do more art for it….You and me both. *~* I was sort of inspired by _Once Upon a Time_ , but I've found I had to write the stories for the two timelines in their entirety and then splice them together. Which means I have to stay far ahead of this story to ensure a regular update….On the plus side, that generally results in about three chapters once it's done. Yes! This thing is going to be ridiculously long—remember _Chaos Avatar Desertion?_ This is already much longer and not even finished. *v* Really? Have you read Kohaku no Hime's _The Princess and the Dragon_ yet? That one is ridiculously well-done. *-* Anyway, hope this next chapter pleases! :D**

 **Varee, thanks for the review! Thanks, glad you like! I prefer writing in third person, generally (although this story has switched itself to first person a couple of times—I can't explain it *~*). Yes, really—one chapter, every week, until such time as it garners enough interest to justify updating twice a week. Cheers!**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_ © 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _Malice_ © 2009 Chris Wooding**

 ** _Kim Possible_ © 2002 Disney**

Yuki followed Yami as he walked off, a slight spring in his step. Focused on girls instead of practicing for Friday night. Well, _one_ girl, but it still counted.

He recalled what Yami was supposed to do at the Masquerade Ball. Yami didn't seem concerned about it one bit, and why should he be? After all, he was the best magician in his age group, and most of the others as well. So if _he_ wasn't worried, then neither was Yuki.

Instead, Yuki thought about the girl Yami had just asked to the Ball. She obviously had no magical skill whatsoever, so why did Yami ask her? Yuki wondered briefly if it was something romantic (which is what Kels would have suggested), but he decided that it was probably just Yami working to stroke his own ego. He _was_ like that.

"Hey, Yami, what happens after Friday?" Yuki asked offhandedly. At least, he tried to. He wasn't sure what that was supposed to sound like.

"If all goes well—and it will—the Administration will put me down as a very likely candidate for the next Head Mage." Yuki could tell this excited his brother, even though his voice remained even. "Once that happens, I'll be able to study any magic I want to."

Yuki couldn't help but grin. His brother had mastered every single magical art allowed to young magicians; once he sufficiently pleased the Administration of High Magicians, he'd be allowed access to magics that only adults could touch—even, perhaps, a few branches that only High Magicians were allowed to study.

"Do you think you can teach me?"

It was a question that Yuki always asked, and one that Yami always had a ready answer for.

"No."

"Why not?"

"There are probably a lot of good reasons, but none so pithy as 'I don't want to.'"

Yuki sighed. He wanted to learn magic, truly—but only from his brother; the University, the Academy, and the Higher Learning buildings on the grounds of the old school of Hallowed Fields just didn't have the same spark. The teachers were generally sour faced, while Yami always looked like he had _fun_ doing magic.

Yami paused and glanced back at his brother. "Tell you what: if Friday goes well, I'll teach you some of the smaller stuff; how's that?"

Yuki instantly perked up. "Really?"

Yami shrugged. "Sure, why not? I could do with a challenge."

Yami resumed walking down the street; Yuki followed with a spring in his step.

*\\*/*

Teana had never seen her boss so _nice_. And he continued to be nice to her as the day wore on.

She took a minute to pull the Masquerade Ball ticket out of the pocket she had put it in for safekeeping. Technically, she didn't need it because she was going to be busing there, but that guy didn't need to know that. Besides, she'd like the opportunity to see such a ticket up close; she probably would never have the opportunity to do so again, most likely.

It was white, and made from a peculiar paper. The border was a spiky black trim, with an odd leaf at the bottom right that housed a _JH_ inside. There was a large _1_ in the center, circled with that same trim. On one side of the number was the name of the event with the location below it; on the other was the date and time.

 _Eight o' clock_ , she thought. She had to be there by six-thirty to assist with preparations, so she had plenty of time to meet that weird magic-man….Not that she had any intention of doing so.

She sighed and looked skyward. What on _earth_ had she gotten herself into?

*/*\\*

The little silver bell at the door _ding_ ed cheerily as Anzu bustled in.

"Monique! Monique!"

A dark-skinned girl with curly, shoulder-length hair came out from the back room of the store, holding a few bolts of fabric. Another girl, Miho, turned and looked at Anzu.

"Anzu! What are you doing so excited?" Miho asked, flipping her long blonde hair behind her shoulder; the yellow ribbon holding her hair in a ponytail bounced as her hair went back.

"That's what I was about to ask her!" Monique said as Anzu grinned at her fellow library-worker.

"Well," Anzu said, and then paused. She decided to wait for them to get all worked up, which didn't take long.

"Come on, tell us!"

"I was asked to the Masquerade Ball."

They gave her the reaction she was expecting: excited squeals. Miho immediately bubbled over with excitement, and Monique quickly started rattling off what they had to do to get her ready.

"We're going to need to do your hair; your nails; get you a nice, fancy dress—and a mask! You can't go to the Masquerade Ball without a mask."

"Oh Anzu! This is wonderful! It's just like one of those stories I read! Did you get asked by a prince?" Miho asked.

"No, he was a magician, and this is _not_ like one of your romances," Anzu returned.

"Oh, a magician! You're coming up in the world!" Miho chimed, missing Anzu's angry glare; Monique just shrugged.

"Miho, get that bolt over there. No, not that one, the one next to it." Monique grabbed another bolt and held it next to Anzu. "We need to get something that compliments your skin tone; pity you're not a nice brown, like me."

"You go with everything, don't you, Monique?" Anzu asked, smiling.

"You know it girl!" Monique said, flashing a smile and selecting a bolt. She started measuring out fabric as Miho kept prattling on.

"Think about it Anzu, this is your big chance!" Miho said, dancing around; Anzu wondered if she ever got tired. "It's just like in a romance: the dashing young magician plucks the poor commoner girl out of her unhappy life, conjures up a dragon, and they fly off into the sunset."

"For one, I am not a _poor commoner girl_ ," Anzu seethed as Monique took measurements. "And second, he didn't conjure up anything more than some birds, sparks, and his little brother. I doubt he's that good."

"A magician is a magician," Miho returned primly, still lost in her fantasy world.

"She's got a point there, girl," Monique told her. "Magicians automatically are more privileged than we could ever hope for. Like him or not, he may be your ticket to getting close to one of the magician families."

"Isn't there something that doesn't involve magic?" Anzu sighed. "Sometimes I wonder if the Gypsians don't have the right idea about sailing around all day on their rafts."

"Like the Gypsians Samuel Clemens wrote about?" Miho piped up excitedly. "I loved that story about the Gypsian boy who rescued that servant—they weren't as privileged back then, you know."

Monique cut Miho a glare before continuing. "Like it or not, girl, magic is the high-class; besides, I know for a fact that you've wanted to learn ever since you were small—this is your chance."

Anzu blushed a bit; that much was true.

"C'mon," Monique said, gesturing towards the fitting rooms in the back. "Let's get you looking like a magician's dream come true."

"If only the magician was _my_ dream come true," Anzu sighed as she followed Monique back.

What on _earth_ had she gotten herself into?


	3. The Masquerade Ball

**Chapter 3, everybody! In which we finally arrive at the Masquerade Ball—after dealing with day jobs, of course. :) And yes, that's a real superstition—if you learn something on Friday, you get a wrinkle. *~***

 **I should have probably mentioned this earlier, but this story does have some art done for it—just head to my profile page and follow the DeviantArt link: you'll be able to find my gallery from there (Magicians' Realm art is in the Yu-Gi-Oh! folder under "YGO-TMR"). :)**

 **ManaDMGmaster, thanks for the reviews! Glad you like the story thus far, and I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _Kim Possible_ © 2002 Disney**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy**

 ** _Spy VS Spy_** **© 1961 Mad Magazine (original creator Antonio Prohías)**

 ** _Harry Potter_** **© 1997 J.K. Rowling**

Friday morning, and Anzu was positioned in front of her mirror, posing.

She had to get to the library, but Monique had told her to try the dress on in the morning, so if there was anything that needed to be altered or fixed, she would have time to do so. Anzu doubted it; Monique was an excellent seamstress.

The dress was beautiful: a pale pink with white trim, and pale yellow lace. There was a blue ribbon belt and blue laces going up the front, and her pale pink domino mask had trim in the same blue.

Anzu sighed and wished her friend was paid more—three years of work in addition to being the best worker Bespoke Tailors had, and she still was paid a pittance.

But her excitement wouldn't allow her to be down for long; she grinned madly as she took the dress off and changed into a blouse and trousers. She was going to the Masquerade Ball, a venue populated entirely by magicians and others in seats of power. Not that she wanted power; she'd rather meet someone who'd deign to teach her a little magic.

She practically skipped as she went to work. She—a lowly librarian's assistant—had been asked to the Masquerade Ball! By a verifiable magician, no less!

She had spent all of last night and most of the morning smoothing out her impression of Yami. His sweeping arrogance that had been her first impression was actually confidence; he really did care for his brother, he was just joking about getting rid of him (Anzu, being an only child, had no idea how siblings acted towards each other); he was pleasant; he was nice; she was going to enjoy his company.

Whether or not all this was true or not, Anzu wasn't sure, but for one night at least, she was going to pretend that it was so.

"Anzu, dear, are you all right?"

Anzu looked up from her book-stamping to her superior, the librarian Miss Binder.

Miss Binder was a round little lady with round little spectacles and a fox-fur wrap. She was kindly, at least, and she reminded Anzu very much of a matronly snowy owl.

"What makes you think that something's wrong, Miss Binder?" Anzu asked.

"Well, dear, this makes the third time that you've stamped your hand instead of the book."

Anzu looked down to find that Miss Binder was right: she had a now-blurry circle of ink stamped on her hand—she could still read _Delvaire Public Library_ in the stamp.

Anzu blushed and started rubbing her hand, silently glad that she was wearing gloves tonight. Miss Binder offered one of her many handkerchiefs to Anzu; she accepted it and started rubbing again.

"Now, what's on your mind, dearie?" Miss Binder asked.

It was always _dear_ or _dearie_ with Miss Binder. "I was thinking about the Masquerade Ball tonight," she said.

"Ah, yes, it's a wonderful thing," Miss Binder sighed. "I went once when I was younger. I was a little slip of a thing then." She beamed down at Anzu. "Maybe you'll get to go someday."

"I think that 'someday' is tonight. Look!" Anzu fished out the gold ticket and showed her.

"Oh!" Miss Binder took it and examined it. "You lucky young lady!"

Anzu couldn't help but grin. "Aren't I?"

"You certainly are." Miss Binder held the ticket up to the light and turned it slightly. "Ah, there we go. There's the spark. I wasn't sure if it was real or not," Miss Binder said as she handed the ticket back to Anzu. "When I went, the tickets were silver."

"Maybe they changed it over the years," Anzu said, looking at the ticket now that she held it. It was a shiny gold color with cream borders. An elegant _1_ was in the center, with the event and location on one side and the date and time on the other.

"What were you checking for?" Anzu asked as she mirrored Miss Binder's actions and held the ticket up to the light. A spark shot across the interior of the ticket as she turned it slightly.

"Right there, dear. A friend of mine told me about it a long time ago. It's the same with the money bills they make up at the Capitol. A true magician-made ticket or bill has a spark of magic put into it, to prevent counterfeits."

"Oh," Anzu said, fingering the ticket. She hadn't known that. "Thanks, Miss Binder, I'm going to get a wrinkle now."

Miss Binder laughed. "Oh, sorry dear. I'll tell you what: why don't you take the rest of the day off? I know a young lady such as yourself needs plenty of time to get ready for such a big event."

"Oh, Miss Binder! Thank you!" Anzu hopped up and resisted hugging her boss. "Are you sure that's all right?"

"Of course, dearie," Miss Binder said, taking Anzu's hands in hers. "I was young once too, hard as that may be to believe. Go on and have a good time. And don't forget to wear gloves; you still have some ink on your hands."

*\\*/*

Teana picked up another tray and swept through the crowd in the Hall.

She had spent enough time in the Hall before the Ball started to get acclimated to the splendor, so she wasn't like her coworkers and gaping at the décor instead of watching where she was going.

She was pretty sure no one had noticed her arriving early, just to get a good look at everything. The floor was magnificently tiled in gold and yellow and orange, with some deep blue highlights here and there. Once she was satisfied that she was alone, she had walked out to the center of the ballroom and twirled and danced, lost in her own world, until the click of a lock had told her someone else had arrived.

Now she was striding across that beautiful floor, all business as she served the higher class of society, the magicians. A man in a porcelain mask accepted a hors d'ourve from her tray as she passed by. She swept around the floor until her tray was empty, and then slipped back over to the buffet to get another.

She felt she was relatively stunning in her pale blue dress. It was cut in such a way that she could sweep around quickly without stepping on the hem, or having it be too revealing. There were little chips of gems sewn in—chips, as the whole gem would have been too expensive—and her mask was blue white wings sweeping back into her hair. Not too bad, if she did say so herself.

She had just put down her tray and was reaching for another when she felt a presence behind her.

"You look stunning," the velvet voice said.

She turned around to find the magician from yesterday standing behind her. He must have leaned in to speak in her ear.

She started laughing when his appearance registered—he was wearing a blackbird beak with deep purple feathers flowing back into his hair. It looked like it could have been his real face; the eyes were shaped in such a way that suggested he had just heard a joke, and the corners of the beak were curved up into a grin. If it had been white, she would have thought he was one of those cartoons that Cuban drew, dressed up for a party with an exploding bouquet.

His head jerked back and to the side, the motion accentuated by the beak. "What's so funny?"

"You look like a loon—literally," she told him between gasps. She put a gloved hand to her mouth to stop laughing.

"Hmm," he said, tipping the beak up and then down. He raised a finger. "Do you know what your outfit needs?"

"A few more feet of breathing space?"

"No, not quite."

And he magicked up a necklace, a turquoise teardrop on a silver chain. He slipped behind her and fastened the necklace around her neck, the teardrop settling on her chest just beneath her collarbones.

"It's beautiful," she muttered, fingering it. "I'll remember to give it back to you after the Ball."

"No need," he told her, coming around to her side. "It's yours." He offered her his elbow. "Shall we go?"

"Go where?"

"Somewhere in a general that-way direction," he said, indicating with his beak.

"Sure," she said finally, accepting his elbow. "I have a few minutes to kill."

*/*\\*

Miss Binder was right: Anzu needed that extra time beforehand before she was fully and completely satisfied. At seven she left her house and started for the Hall with her ticket firmly in hand—she would rather be early than late.

She got there just as the sun was setting and the fireflies started to stir in the late August air. The Hall was beautiful with its spires and stained glass; it rested like a regal cat on one of the lower plateaus before the mountain range.

She followed the crowd up to the Hall, trying her best to look like she fit in. What had Monique said? Act like you have power. That didn't prevent her from clutching the ticket to her rapidly beating heart.

She handed the ticket to the doorman after seeing several others do so. He held up a little device that resembled a hole-punch to the ticket, but instead of punching a hole in it, it sucked a spark of light out of the ticket instead. The doorman smiled at her wide-eyed expression as he handed the ticket back to her.

"It sucks the spark of magic out of it," he explained as she took the ticket back. "Now it's nothing but a sheet of paper. It makes a good souvenir, though."

She thanked him and went through the huge oak doors, angling to the side quickly so she could gape at the inside of the Hall.

It was bigger on the inside, she felt, thanks to the enchantment on the vaulted ceiling: she could see the huge, curved beams, to be sure, but she also could see a small dusting of stars, like a veil hung beneath the beams. The giant stained-glass windows depicted great wizards, mostly the Head Mages of the past.

Anzu frowned at one blank one in the middle of the stained-glass windows; she had heard that the only blank windows were for future Mages, so that one blank one meant that one had been skipped over. But why?

"Glad you could make it."

Anzu turned to see the magician who had invited her, Yami. He still had the cloak, pendant, and top hat, but his jeans and shirt had been replaced with a sleeved shirt and pants that were made out of a dark shimmering material. He had a domino mask on, black with white spots. She couldn't help but laugh at the irony.

"Shall we go?" he asked, offering her his hand. She noticed he still wore those white conductor's gloves. "There are some people I'd like you to meet."


	4. Introductions

**Chapter 4, everybody! In which we meet this story's Joeys and Tristans…yes, in the plural sense. And a very familiar name pops up in this chapter as well—what? It has too nice of a ring to let it slide. ;)**

 **On a side note, the boys violate a certain etiquette rule here—when it's a man and a woman, it's the woman's prerogative to shake hands. A man offering his hand for a woman to shake is considered bad form.**

 **Thanks for the review, guest! Hope I continue to please! :D**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! You didn't—for shame!...I kid, obviously—I figured you were busy (life happens). Insanely so—this first part is over 200 pages so far, and it isn't done. *~* Fortunately, the chapters are longer than I normally do, so there's more substance per update. :) Just keep plugging away—someday, you'll get to college, and have time to sleep. Unless you take it online—then there is no sleep. *-***

 **References:**

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! © 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 **Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo (the _stupid beak_ line is lifted from the _Pokémon 2000_ movie)**

This was turning out to be a very good evening, so far as Yami was concerned.

He was absolutely thrilled to death that the girl from before had come to the Masquerade Ball. She had a fire in her that was very rare in anyone, and he found it very attractive.

Of course, she was possessing of the natural prejudice that most people had for magicians: she thought they were conniving selfish creatures that had no regard for anyone else.

Glancing over at the Administrators, he had to admit she had a point.

So it was going to be _his_ job to show her otherwise.

*/*\\*

This evening was shaping up to be very well so far, as far as Yami was concerned.

He had been afraid Anzu wouldn't show, and he hadn't planned on telling anyone until Yuki blurted it out at dinner last night. That meant that his parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents all expected him to bring a date, and hoped that he was perhaps starting to get serious about courting a girl.

He had magicked a huge spider into his brother's bed for that.

But all that was in the past now: Anzu had showed up, so the rest of the night was going to be a cinch.

He helped her to steer through the crowd until they got to someone he actually wanted to talk to.

"Honda! Jo! Howsit?"

Two boys turned to him from the buffet table. One was wearing what looked like a Thunder Dragon mask, while the other wore a mask that Yami recognized as a Red-Eyes beak.

Honda and Jonouchi, respectively, were two of his closest friends. As far as the Administration was concerned, the two of them together were about as magical as a lump of coal. As far as Yami was concerned, these two had a magic all their own. They were unnaturally gifted with all sorts of mechanical devices, and Yami had been bargaining with them to learn something of that art.

Honda extended his hand for Anzu to shake as Jonouchi greeted them.

"Yami!" Jonouchi said, lifting the beak to be more understandable. "Howzit?"

"It's fine," Yami said, waving slightly. "Jonouchi, Honda, this is Anzu. Anzu, these two are Jonouchi and Honda. Jo's the blonde with the beak, Honda's the brunette with the scales. Both are amazing with anything metal."

"Nah, above average," Jonouchi said, shaking her hand. Yami was pleased to see that Anzu was excited to meet them. Things were going great.

"Why did he call you Jo?" Anzu asked Jonouchi.

"Hey, you try fittin' 'Jonouchi' into a conversation fifty times," Jonouchi said with a toss of his head, which unfortunately brought the beak back down. Yami snickered as he heard Jonouchi mutter _stupid beak_.

"It's nice to meet you, Miss Anzu," Honda said, pulling his mask down to smile at her. Yes sir, things were going well tonight.

"So tell me," Anzu said as Jonouchi pulled the beak back up. "What exactly do you two do?"

"Not much of anything, to tell the truth."

"Scram, Kels," Jonouchi said, scowling as he looked down at another figure. Unfortunately, the action brought his beak back down in front of his face again.

"So you're Kels!" Anzu said, looking at the new arrival. "You're the one who said that Yami here has a big ego!"

"That I did," came from behind a parrot's head. A slender-fingered hand pushed it back to reveal a young woman's face. "And yes he does. I'm Kels, as you've said—now who are you?"

"I'm Anzu," Anzu said as she extended her hand for Kels to shake. Kels did so, but with a slightly suspicious look. This was the big test—if Kels didn't approve, things would quickly get miserable; she was much too opinionated for her own good.

"It's nice to meet you," Anzu continued, smiling slightly. Kels narrowed her eyes.

"Before I return the gesture, what are your intentions towards my friend?"

Anzu didn't miss a beat. "To try to keep his ego at the level it is now."

"Good answer," Kels said, smiling now. "Now, it's nice to meet you."

*\\*/*

 _What am I doing?_ Teana thought as she let herself be led through the crowd. People were deep in their conversations, but they would move aside when they saw them coming. She wondered if this nutty magician was warding them off somehow.

His beaked head was turning back and forth like a weathervane at the moment, as though he were dowsing for something. She wondered if he could tell which way the wind blew if she put him outside.

"Ah," he noised, sounding like he recognized someone. He steered her over to a group of suits and made a greeting noise to attract their attention.

"I'd like you to meet Hephaestus Wheeler, Vulcan Taylor, and Kineil Wicks," he told her, tilting his beak towards her and then pointing it towards each respective suit.

Teana blinked, and not just at the odd names. They were two men and a woman, wearing dragon and owl masks, respectively. But they were the most intricate masks she had ever seen, strips of metal woven and bolted together to form a black dragon mask, a gold dragon mask, and a shining owl mask, respectively. The eyes were polished and burnished glass, hiding their real eyes, although their mouths were uncovered, showing their smiles.

Without the eyes to translate, Teana wasn't sure what to make of those smiles.

"Hi there!" the one called Hephaestus said, extending a hand; she accepted carefully. "It's nice to meet you, miss…?"

"I'm not in the habit of giving my name," Teana said primly; she guessed this had been a ploy by the magician named Yami to get her name.

"Miss _Imnotinthehabitofgivingmyname_ ," Hephaestus repeated, giving her a toothy grin beneath the black mask and impenetrable red eyes. "That's very interesting. Do you have a nickname?"

The girl in the owl mask—Kineil—put her hand to her face carefully, as if she wanted to slap her hand to her head but was afraid of damaging her mask.

"You are, the _densest_ , man, I have _ever_ met," she told him slowly. She turned to Teana. "You don't really believe that old wives' tale, do you?"

"You can't be too careful," Teana told her.

"If it were true, these two wouldn't be standing here," Kineil said, gesturing towards her comrades. "I've told them on more than one occasion to _drop dead_ , and they haven't done it yet."

Yami's smooth voice cut through the responding remarks. "The basis for that tale comes from putting power into your words—kind of like your mom telling you to _come here_. Adding the name just directs it better; it doesn't matter if it's your real name or a nickname."

"That reminds me," Kineil said, pointing. "I still want you to teach me how to do that."

"Your glare does enough."

Teana saw the strips of metal around the glass eyes rotate—it took her a moment to realize that Kineil had rolled her eyes, and that the mask had shown that motion somehow. " _No_ , my glare makes grown men writhe in pain. It doesn't make them do what I tell them to."

"What about that guy from last week?" Vulcan asked; twin sheathes of metal flitted across the glass eyes, simulating blinking.

"He doesn't count."

"Excuse me," Teana interrupted. "I hate to stop what I'm sure is a very powerful argument, but I have to ask: where did you get those masks?"

Hephaestus and Vulcan grinned.

"They made them themselves," Yami told her. "Hephaestus and Vulcan are known far and wide as the famed Mechanical Magicians—if it has gears or bolts or metal in it, they can work with it."

"I do the artsy part," Kineil interjected. "It gives it _flair_."

"How do they work?" Teana asked, genuinely intrigued.

"Well, Miss Imnotinthehabitofgivingmyname, I don't tell secrets to just _anyone_ ," Hephaestus said, grinning as he crossed his arms. "I have to be on a first-name basis with a person, at least."

Teana hesitated, and looked at Yami, still suspicious.

"Nothing's going to happen, I promise," he told her.

She narrowed her eyes.

"Cross my heart, hope to die, hope Kineil here hits me right in the eye," he added.

"With a frying pan," Kineil agreed, grinning.

Teana considered it. The lack of eye contact was unnerving, but there was something very _open_ about these weird people….

She extended her hand to Hephaestus, who accepted.

"Teana," she told him.


	5. The Masked Ones

**Chapter 5, everybody! In which we introduce the Head Mage and mention the mysterious boogie-mage...and people violate** **etiquette protocol** **again….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Haha, yes, we've finally got the Ball rolling! *shot* Yes, darn that real life—but it takes precedence, so we'll let it slide. ;) Yes, long chapters are nice…just not _too_ long—then people put them off and then never read them. :( Oh, tertiary education is fine—at least with Northcentral University (the one I'm attending) you generally only have to worry about one class at a time—it's just through the entire year and requires buku reading. And yes, you were very close this time. :)**

 **References:**

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! © 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 **Guardians of Ga'Hoole © 2003 Kathryn Lasky (the mention of Hortense of Ambala)**

 **Deltora Quest © 2000 Emily Rodda (the Masked Ones—whose story is fleshed out in _Tales of Deltora_ )**

 **The Inkheart Trilogy © 2003 Cornelia Funke (the Blue Jay)**

 **Harry Potter © 1997 J.K. Rowling (the mention of a certain unnamable wizard from across the pond)**

 **Dharma and Greg © 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family is pretty much Greg Montgomery and his family)**

"So this puffed up guy here," Kels said, pointing with her fork. "Thinks he knows everything."

"I don't _think_ I know everything," Yami told her. "I know enough about everything to seem smarter than I really am."

"Where did you get that, a fortune cookie?"

"No, I got it from you."

"Are these thoughts founded?" Anzu asked.

Honda and Jonouchi—the latter of whom had discarded his Red-Eyes beak in favor of eating hassle-free—nodded vigorously.

"He's the most advanced magician in our age group," Jonouchi said, pointing.

"Of course, standing next to you _certainly_ helps," Honda pointed out, prompting Jonouchi to make a face and flick some of his vegetables at Honda.

"Now, Mr. Wheeler! I've never known you to waste food!"

Anzu looked at the stranger who had spoken. He had shocking white hair that stuck every which way, and fine dark clothes that contrasted severely with his hair. He was wearing a smooth, full-face mask, like she had seen on old-time surgeons, made of copper with a cream-colored scar beneath one eye.

"Bakura!" Kels said. She stroked beneath her eye, corresponding with the mark on the mask. "What are you wearing?"

" _This,_ " Bakura said, taking a deep bow. "Is a facsimile of my village's most famous denizen, Bakura Tozoku."

"And you're named after him too, I see," Anzu stated.

Bakura looked over at her; she caught a glimpse of blue behind the eye slits. "Certainly; it's much like the name Hortense in Ambala—everyone knows the name, and they always name their children after their heroes."

"You might want to mention that you hail from Kul Elna, the Village of Thieves," Yami pointed out.

"You make it sound like a bad thing!"

"Village of Thieves?" Anzu repeated.

"I can rob you blind and you'd never know it," Bakura said, obviously pleased with himself.

"That reminds me," Kels said, looking over. "I lost my necklace the other day—I wonder if someone didn't lift it off of me."

"Jo did it," Bakura said quickly.

Kels held out her hand, raising one eyebrow, not saying anything.

Bakura grumbled and handed her a small gold necklace. "It doesn't match anything I own anyway."

Anzu leaned over to Yami. "You have some very… _unique_ friends," she told him.

Yami grinned. "Don't _I_ know it!"

*\\*/*

"Okay, so the eyepieces here are actually _three_ pieces, two polished pieces of glass, and a sheath of metal in the middle, to simulate blinks. See this stuff here?" Hephaestus turned his mask over to reveal a pale blue fabric pressed into the moulding of the mask. "This here is similar to the stuff the Masked Ones use, but it doesn't bind to the skin. Instead, it copies the facial movements into the mask."

"Wait a minute," Teana interjected. " _Binds_ to the _skin_?"

"The Masked Ones are called so because of the masks they wear all the time," Yami explained. "They never take them off on principle, so they created this moulding to make it permanent."

"Dare I ask why?"

In response, Yami pointed at the stained-glass window at the far corner of the hall. Teana turned to look.

All the stained-glass windows were the same size, three feet of wall space on each side, with different patterns on the inside representing the past Head Mages. The one he was pointing to was at the very end, and had so many things going on in it that she saw nothing but a swirl of color at first, until some of it solidified into a lanky man with a top hat in one hand and a mask in the other, cape swirling in front of a crowded scene.

"That's Hallowen, the first Head Mage," Yami told her. "He was the one who united the Allied States, brought all the races together, and united and taught everyone magic."

"Wow."

"But he wasn't without enemies," Yami continued. "Once, he had to flee, and he encountered a band of gypsies. When he explained his plight to them, they all made masks to wear; when his enemies started catching, unmasking, and killing them, they made the moulding that bound to their skin, so they couldn't be unmasked and potentially risk Hallowen. When he made his comeback, he instituted the Masquerade Ball, to be held on the day his friends the Masked Ones resolved to risk their lives to save him."

"Wow," Teana said slowly. "That's…very impressive."

"Isn't it?"

Teana looked up sharply to see the owner of the voice and was startled to see a human-sized blue jay standing in front of her.

At least, that was her first impression. In reality, it was a man, but wearing clothes that shimmered in the same pattern as blue jay feathers, with the beak and face of a blue jay, feathers and all, that moved perfectly and seamlessly with the face behind it.

"Ah," Yami said, looking over. "Teana, I'd like you to meet the Blue Jay, current leader of the Masked Ones."

"He's not boring you, is he?" the Blue Jay asked her, shaking her hand. "I can peck him for you."

Teana felt as though her eyebrows had gone through the ceiling, they shot up so far. "Really?"

In response, the Blue Jay jabbed his beak into the top of Yami's head. "Ow!" Yami exclaimed, clasping his hands upon the injury.

The Blue Jay slipped around Yami and hunkered down between him and Teana, hanging on to the back of Yami's chair for balance. "He likes to tell that story every year," he told Teana.

"It's very fascinating," she told him.

"And history bears repeating," Yami said; by comparison, his voice was muffled next to the Jay's. "If it isn't, then people simply forget, and it just becomes another reason to revel."

"He can be very serious when he wants to be," the Jay said. "Don't worry, he's not always like this."

"That's good to know," Teana said, still entranced by the realism of the Jay's mask. "How did you get that mask to look so _real?_ "

"It _is_ real," the Jay told her. "Real feathers, expertly woven together in that branch of magic known as craft." He tilted his head, as though guessing what she'd like to do. "You can touch it, if you like."

She felt herself flush red at the fact that she had been found out so easily. The Jay laughed—an odd _churr_ ing noise—and said "Really! I insist!"

She stroked the feathered part of the mask, and then ran her finger across the top of the beak—it felt like it belonged on a real bird, with the same sort of warmth a bird had.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were an oversized bird," Teana told him.

"I've fooled more than one person," the Jay told her. "By the way, I appreciate your choice of masks."

Teana touched hers, momentarily forgetting that she had one on as well. It felt simple and tawdry in comparison.

"If you'd like, I could make one for you for next year's Ball," the Jay began, and then someone called over. Both the Jay and Yami turned; Teana was seized with the distinct impression of bird calls.

"Figures," the Jay muttered under his breath; the ridges above his eyes came forward in an impression of furrowed eyebrows. "You find someone interesting to talk to and then someone _boring_ needs your attention."

"Unfortunately," Yami agreed. He stood up with the Jay. "I'll be right back," he told the table, although he was looking at Teana.

When he left, Teana turned to the table.

"I don't suppose any of you would be willing to tell me more about him, would you?"

The three magicians exchanged glances; Kineil turned to her, smiling.

"I don't suppose I would—it depends on how the evening goes."

*/*\\*

Company aside, the hall was breathtaking.

Anzu was listening to Yami's explanation of the stained glass, after she had asked about them; upon adding a question about the blank one, everyone at the table had exchanged glances, then looked around to see if anyone was looking.

Anzu felt as though she had stumbled upon something taboo.

"You know that every window here signifies a past Head Mage," Yami told her in an undertone; she nodded.

" _That_ window belongs to the boogie-mage," Bakura interjected, waggling his fingers in a frightening manner.

Yami cut him a glare; Yuki, clad in a barn owl mask, sunk beneath the table, as though he had been threatened with such a thing before.

"The Unnamed Mage, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, the boogie-mage," Kels began reciting, ticking them off on her fingers.

"Isn't this the guy in Europa?" Anzu asked.

"No, that's a different guy," Yami said knowingly. " _This_ mage in particular was the strongest since the first mage, Hallowen—so strong that he tried to take over the Administration. He had a large following too—but the Administration and the Civil Branch together managed to pick them off one by one—"

"One by one?" Anzu interrupted.

"His followers were the best magicians in their fields," Yami told her, eyebrows raised. "Anyway, they managed to pick them off one by one, and the Grand Agent of the Civil Branch took him down himself and became the Head Mage."

"Who was he?"

"My grandfather."

Anzu started at the new voice; Yami did too, but he controlled it better, and turned casually to face the man with his hands resting on Yami and Yuki's chair backs.

"Hi Dad," Yami said.

"Hi Mr. Montgau!" Kels said, waving.

"Hi everybody!" Yami's dad said, beaming beneath his simple domino mask. He turned to Anzu and extended a hand, which she accepted. "And you must be the mystery girl these boys were talking about! It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss…?"

"Anzu Mazaki," Anzu said, slightly awestruck. "You're—you're Gregor Montgau."

"Yes, yes I am."

"You're Head Mage."

"This is true."

Anzu stared at Yami, who shrugged. "Dad's modest."

"Unlike you," Bakura muttered.

"Watch it."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Mazaki," the Head Mage said, ignoring the minor tete-a-tété. "Is this your first time at a Masquerade Ball?"

"Yes," Anzu replied. "How could you tell?"

"You have that look," the Head Mage replied, then looked up when someone called his name. "Whoops! Gotta go." He patted his eldest son's shoulder. "Yami, don't forget you're on in half an hour."

"Right, Dad," Yami said, rolling his eyes and suppressing a smile as the Head Mage left. Then, to the table, "I suppose I'd better go get ready then."

"Have fun," Kels said, giving him a little finger wave.

"Always do," Yami returned, getting up.

"Before you go," Anzu said, causing him to pause. "Who exactly _is_ the boogie-mage?" she pointed at the empty window. "That that window belongs to?"

Yami turned to look at the empty window, head tilted as though debating. When he turned back around, he placed a hand on her shoulder and brought his head close to hers.

" _That_ mage was called Yami Skellington," he murmured into her ear. "And it was him that almost destroyed all that the Administration and Civil Branch stand for."

He gave her and the table a quick smile before striding off. Anzu watched him go, then looked back at the empty window, the various conversations dying down to white noise.

Yami Skellington….

But why would Yami Montgau, great-grandson of Skellington's nemesis Thomas Montgau, share his name?


	6. A Conversation With Kineil

**Chapter 6, everybody! In which we have one of the rare chapters that have no back and forth between timelines….It also unintentionally apes** ** _Maid in Manhattan_** **—which is weird, considering I wrote this long before even watching** ** _part_** **of the movie. Ralph Fiennes is actually pretty handsome when he's not trying to off Daniel Radcliffe….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yup—don't worry, I have to do the same thing too; writing this has picked up tremendously now that I'm writing the two timelines separately and then splicing them together. Don't worry, I won't flood you with puns (pff—assaulted)—this story is actually one of my more…what's the phrase….Well, TV Tropes calls it bathos—we'll have some terribly serious moments, but I'll try to keep it balanced with light moments too (otherwise I'll just depress myself—ick). Yes….And yes—there's these writers here on FanFiction that write really good Shadow novels, but it's all in one big submission, so it requires a time commitment. Yes! Success! And if you want sleep at graduate level, I recommend campus college—I took two years at a campus college and had** ** _way_** **too much time on my hands (to the point that I was bored to tears). I started writing this story there, as a matter of fact—it was useful for working things out.**

 **References:**

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! © 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _Maid in Manhattan_** **© 2002 Wayne Wang (I figure I referenced it in the Author's Note…)**

 ** _Golden Girls_** **© 1985 Susan Harris (the "Likes, dislikes" line)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy**

 ** _Fried Green Tomatoes_** **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet**

 ** _Phantom of the Opera_** **© 1910 Gaston Leroux (passing reference)**

 ** _Beetlejuice_** **© 1988 Tim Burton (another passing reference)**

 **Kineil Wicks** **© myself (in an odd moment...)**

Yami felt like pulling his hair out.

Why, _why_ , why in the name of all things magical and otherwise, were the Administrators wired the way they were?

A handful of them had posed some notions about running things more "effectively," and had wanted Yami's approval—basically, for him to okay something that hadn't even been explained to him. When they refused his suggestion to wait until the next day, and not make decisions during a holiday, he promptly shot down the suggestions and excused himself. He could see the expressions they were hiding, and figured the sooner he excused himself, the sooner they could talk amongst themselves about him.

He didn't mind. Besides, he had _other_ , more pressing things to think about. Like talking to Teana more—finding out her likes, dislikes, last name….

He could see her now, in the middle of a tableful of his friends. Detective Skulduggery Pleasant and his wife Idgy were now next to Teana, wearing Mehjican skull masks that clacked open and shut when they talked. Bakura Necromancer was in the seat that Yami had vacated, wearing a very Phantom-of-the-Opera-esque costume with a skull mask covering the top half of his face.

Yami strode over to his old chair and placed his hands on the back, causing conversation to pause for a moment.

"I hope my friend here isn't causing you any trouble," he said to Teana. "He has that habit."

"You cut me to the quick," Bakura complained melodramatically. "I have never caused any trouble in my life. I may have prompted _others_ to cause trouble, but I have never done so myself."

"Bakura, why don't you share what kind of magic you do?" Idgy suggested.

"I'm a necromancer—it's the sort of thing you pick up in the area Kul Elna's in," he said to Teana, lowering his voice in a conspirator fashion.

Teana nodded, not quite comprehending. "He raises skeletons to do his bidding," Yami explained.

Teana grimaced. "Oh," she said in a flat voice.

"That never impresses anyone," Bakura sighed, propping his head upon his hand.

"It certainly leaves something to be desired," Skulduggery informed him in his velvet-smooth voice.

"So what do you do?" Teana asked Yami.

"As little as possible," Yami replied smoothly. "Bakura, why don't you pull up another seat?"

"I like this one," Bakura replied.

"But it doesn't have your name on it," Yami said, indicating the small placard in front of the position.

"So you want me to get up, is that it?"

"I would."

Kineil was suddenly by Yami's side. "Before you sit down, may I talk to you?"

"Sure," Yami began, and then was forcibly dragged away from the table by Kineil. "I'll be right back," Yami called, noting Teana's bemused expression. He reasoned he must look comical, long limbs flailing as someone much shorter than he was dragged him over to the wall. Bakura began talking again, obviously thrilled that he didn't have to get up, and Teana turned her head to listen to him.

Kineil stopped beneath one of the bare windows and finally let him go. Yami stood up, straightening out his clothes huffily, more for show than anything else.

"So," he said finally, moving his head as little as possible as he glanced around. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Have you lost your marbles?" Kineil asked.

Yami paused. "I can always trust you to be blunt, Miss Wicks."

"Firstly, I want to know when—exactly—you walked in the door."

"As late as I possibly could."

"Then you missed the part where your dear date is part of the waiting staff."

"So?"

" _SO?"_ Kineil fairly burst, then subdued herself; Yami gave a little wave to a few nearby mages, who promptly went back to their dinner. "So, she's below you."

"Now Miss Wicks," Yami said, using the honorific because he knew it would irritate her. "You are the _last_ person I would expect to hear _that_ from."

"And I'm not like that," Kineil assured him. "But _they_ are."

She pointed across the room, directly at the largest cluster of Administrators. Yami brought her hand down before too many people noticed. "Your point?" he asked.

"My point—they don't like you."

"And?"

" _And_ they're looking for any reason to get rid of you. They have been ever since you became Head Mage."

"Politics," Yami said, deciding to use a statement he had heard used before. "You know _I_ hate them."

"Listen, I'm talking to _you_ , not BJ over there."

"You're being terribly serious for this being a holiday."

"You don't pay attention to how people act around you," Kineil hissed. "They hold their tongues when you make a decision, but they're very opinionated when you're not around."

"And how do you know this?"

"They talk in front of me—they don't think I'm a magician, and therefore I'm not worth their time."

"I've talked to them about that."

" _I don't care_. I'm not in any sort of important position. _You_ are. _You_ need to consider how they react to you."

"Why?" Yami asked. "They can't make any sort of decision without consulting me. The public knows this; the public loves this. They know I consider them before I consider the wants of the Administration."

"Yes!" Kineil exclaimed, throwing her arms out and up. When she noticed the sudden lull in conversation, she returned to her conspirator hiss, bringing her arms back in. "So the masses love you. Big whoop. The point is, the Administrators outnumber you. You've been making friends in all the _wrong_ places."

"Your suggestion?"

Kineil tapped her fingers together thoughtfully. "Find some people that would be willing to run for the position of Administrator—that actually _like_ you—and suggest to some of the older Administrators the option of retirement."

"But the older Administrators like me as well."

"They do because you're nice to them."

"And that doesn't work for the other Administrators?"

"No, because your decisions are _not_ nice to them."

"Kineil, we've gotten off-subject—the original point is you don't approve of Miss Teana."

"No, I like her just fine," Kineil clarified. "My original point is, you have to consider the effects your decisions are having. You keep this up, and I foresee a lot of misery."

"Think positive, Kineil," Yami said, clapping her on the shoulder. "No matter what the effect I have on the Administrators, they can't do a thing without me."

Kineil paused at that, and Yami could guess where her mind was going. " _That_ would be outright murder," he told her. "And they would never risk that—they need public opinion to be with them just as much as I do."

"You _are_ going to think about what I told you, right?"

"Of course!" he said, steering her back to the table. "But for now, let's enjoy ourselves. This _is_ a holiday, after all."


	7. Head Mage

**Chapter 7, everybody! In which Yami makes an unintentionally inappropriate comment and the Administrators begin to be introduced—most of the Administrators act as foils to Yami and company here. On a side note, I really knew of a guy whose voice induced sleepiness—he was the preacher at my first college. :|**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the reviews and the follow! Welcome to the Magicians' Realm! :D To address your reviews…maybe. Hahah, yeah—his height will be explained later on, though. And now that you mention it, Kaiba doesn't exactly factor that hugely into most of my stories…I wonder why….I view Yami and Yugi as brothers too, but Yugi is his own person in this and will appear later on—Yuki…I sort of made him one day on a whim, but he tends to show up a bit….Well…I figure it's possible that someone who has purple eyes running in the family might have blue eyes (or maybe even red!) show up as a recessive trait….Don't worry, you're not the only one—it'll get easier later on; I sort of purposefully set out to make the timelines similar in these first few chapters. Yes…all will be revealed…eventually. We have conflict that needs building, after all. :) I would love to hear those theories…Yes, that's been fun to write—they'll be developing some more distinctness soon, though. :)**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Maybe….And not me—Kineil in this story is very much like Rae and Kelsey in other stories: based on me, but then sent off into the wilderness to develop their own personalities (you'll find Kineil to be about as caustic as Rae from** ** _The Frost King_** **). To be honest, Kineil is based more off of my Mom than myself (but not entirely). And yes! :D** ** _Deltora Quest_** **was a fave of mine as well—the local grocery store was selling books from that series,** ** _Chasing the Falconers_** **and** ** _Guardians of Ga'Hoole_** **(I guess because school was starting?), and I had to convince Dad to buy them. Said convincing became easier once I got him reading the** ** _Ga'Hoole_** **series (I need to start him on one of the other ones once he finishes reading** ** _Patriots_** **). Yes, I prefer consistent updates over larger sporadic updates as well. I recommend writing a page a day, personally—it helps to fill up some of that free time and enables you to update more as well! Two birds with one stone! :D Really? I wonder why….**

 **References:**

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! © 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 **Deltora Quest © 2000 Emily Rodda (the Masked Ones again** **)**

 **The Inkheart Trilogy © 2003 Cornelia Funke (the Blue Jay)**

 **Dharma and Greg © 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment (say, pal…)**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

"You are a _very_ good dancer."

Teana stifled a laugh. She was slow-dancing with Yami out on the dance floor, and she was doing most of the leading. "You could be more graceful if you tried."

Yami tilted his head, as though unsure as to whether she was jesting or not. "But that would require so much _work_ ," he said finally.

Teana let out a cough of laughter, quickly followed by a groan as his words reminded her of something.

"I need to go back to work," she said, pulling away.

He pulled her back. "Nonsense! What's a pretty girl like you doing having to work, anyway?"

"Does being pretty exempt me from having to work?"

"It sounded good."

"Unfortunately, it doesn't pay the bills." She tried pulling away again; he held on.

"Okay then, I'll cover your fee. How much does a dance cost?"

Behind them, Kineil **—** dancing with the Blue Jay **—** heard that passing comment and snorted with laughter.

"What is it?" the Blue Jay asked.

Kineil simply shook her head, hand covering her mouth to prevent further laughs from escaping.

"As tempting as that is, I do have to get back to work," Teana said, pulling away slightly. Yami was about to pull her back again, when a thin, sallow-faced man walked by, upper face covered by a simple mask.

"Say, pal, Sumbinix is looking for you," the man said to Yami, then continued on his way.

"Tell him I'm not here, Max," Yami called after him.

"Not so long as you call me _Max_ ," the man called back. "Besides, he's already seen you."

He pointed over to the stage, near where some soft-looking man was waving impatiently at Yami. Teana heard him curse under his breath.

"You have work to do, it seems," Teana opined.

"Can I play hooky?" Yami asked.

"No. Besides, those hors d' oeuvres aren't going to serve themselves."

And with that, she broke away from the dance and walked over to the buffet, quite pleased with how she was commanding Yami's attention.

 _Might as well enjoy it while I can_ , she thought.

*/*\\*

"So what was Mr. Montgau talking about when he told Yami he was 'on in half an hour'?" Anzu asked.

"He's going to be demonstrating his magical ability for the Administrators shortly," Kels supplied.

"Once that happens, he won't be an apprentice magician anymore, and he'll teach me some magic," Yuki announced excitedly.

Anzu blinked. "He's that good and he's still an _apprentice_?"

"The Administrators always drag their feet," Jonouchi told her. "Yami's told us how his dad always bring home stories on how they finally decided on something they brought up six months ago."

"What a waste."

"Don't _we_ know it," Honda said sagely.

The lights dimmed slightly. "Ah, speaking of," Bakura murmured. "Here's the Head Administrator now, Dr. Sumbinix."

Anzu turned to see a stout, soft, gray-haired man standing next to Mr. Montgau. He seemed amiable enough, but it seemed forced to Anzu. Compared to the Head Mage, he didn't seem nearly as deserving of respect.

But he _was_ Head Administrator, and that was enough to garner respect, she supposed.

"Well I'm glad you all could make it," Dr. Sumbinix said in a soft voice that didn't project well. "Welcome to another Masquerade Ball. I hope you all have been enjoying yourselves."

"We _had_ been," Kels muttered under her breath. "At least until you started talking."

Indeed, Dr. Sumbinix's voice had a very soporific effect. People were quiet, but not out of respect: they were dozing off as he spoke. Anzu tried to pay attention, but it was becoming more difficult to do the longer he went on.

"All right!" Mr. Montgau announced suddenly, clapping his hands together.

Everyone was suddenly alert again. Anzu realized that Dr. Sumbinix had stopped talking, and now Mr. Montgau was. Within a few words, it was obvious who the better showman was.

"It is my _distinct_ pleasure to introduce you all to tonight's entertainment," Mr. Montgau said. "Demonstrating his magical talents for the Administration, ladies and gentlemen! My son, Yami!"

Mr. Montgau gestured over with such a flourish—Anzu could tell he was proud of his son.

Everyone turned to look, and applauded when they saw Yami bowing up on stage. He oozed confidence. He vibrated with excitement.

And Anzu felt deep in her heart that he would—as the colloquial term went—blow their socks off.

*\\*/*

Yami watched Teana flounce away, completely entranced.

"Not bad," Maxwell opined, behind him.

"Not bad at all," Bakura chimed in, leaning over to watch her go. "Hungry, though," he added, when she picked up a tray.

"That's her job," Yami explained. "Not everyone has skeletons digging for gold for them twenty-four-seven."

"Pity," Maxwell said. Yami glared back at him. "Sumbinix still wants you, by the way."

Yami crossed the ballroom, grumbling the whole way. He literally had better things to do.

"It's about time," Sumbinix said tetchily. "What took you?"

"It's a holiday," Yami said, remaining calm. "I'm focused on leisure."

"Enough. Come along," Sumbinix groused, leading the way up to the stage. Yami followed, detesting the coming aggravation.

As soon as Sumbinix started talking, Yami's attention started drifting. He was fairly certain that Sumbinix was talking about him, making several expansive gestures to keep the audience's attention.

Unbeknownst to the Head Administrator, Yami's neck was sore from the tension required to keep him from shaking his head. He could have groaned at all the attention. Yes, he understood the importance of the pomp and ceremony, but he wished that it wasn't so _long_ —he wanted to get back to his friends, and back to that girl, who was some kind of wonderful—

His head jerked suddenly—he had caught a flash of pale blue, and traced it to the girl he had asked to the Ball, Teana. She was running for the entrance, the only one not facing the stage….

He was glad for the mask—it would hide his fallen face.


	8. Showoff

**Chapter 8, everybody! Prepare for purple prose…self-centered yutz….**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, she is…and no, she isn't—we shall soon find out why….You've got it—we'll be finding out who the second Yami is in this chapter, though. :) And all right! Hopefully I'll continue to please. :)**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes—"Don't go breaking my heart~" I haven't seen the anime series for** ** _Deltora Quest_** **yet, but I want to—it's on the list. I haven't read the Rondo series either (so now that's on the list too) but I** ** _have_** **read Rowan of Rin (funnily enough, I discovered the series after I found the fifth book at the library at my first college—I nearly fell down from the double-take I had: "** ** _This_** **place stocks** ** _Rodda!?_** **"). I wish Rodda would make another book for that series—I feel like more stories could come from that world. Huh…so you** ** _could_** **, but you could stay home instead of on campus—for the love of all that is sanitary,** ** _stay home!_** **I for one can't handle rooming with other people—I think the people in charge of rooming make sure to put at least one nut in each room (actually, I think I might have been the quota nut...).**

 **References:**

 **Yu-Gi-Oh! © 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 **…**

 **Wait, that's** ** _it?_**

Yami glanced up during his bow to assess the crowd. They looked ready and willing for his assessment. And those that weren't? Well, they were about to have their minds changed and _blown._

"Showtime," he muttered under his breath.

And with that, he launched into his demonstration.

It was perfect. Every minute, every moment, every second. He felt the magic flow from him, conducted like smoke as his fingers moved about as to music. No one murmured like they did in other demonstrations. They were quiet, enraptured.

Yami was reaching the moment where he needed his assistant's help. Fortunately, this also doubled as another example of his magic. He snatched his top hat off and flung it high above everyone's heads.

When it reached the apex of its toss, it morphed beautifully into an owl-sized bird, hawkish in appearance, with ear tufts and sharp yellow eyes and feathers that glistened like a starry night.

"Horus!" Yami called, addressing the former hat. "Fetch my next trick, will you?"

Horus—as much a ham as his creator—flipped so he was soaring through the air facing Yami. Upside down.

"Right-o, boss!" Horus called, in the kind of voice one expected from a hawk-like bird. He instantly righted himself and swooped back and forth over everyone's heads, searching. The crowd tracked his movements.

Horus finally settled down in front of Yami's mother, who was currently sitting with some of her friends. "Madam," Horus said, taking a bow. He took a napkin off of the table, bowed again, and lofted into the air.

People glanced at Yami, as though they thought Horus was done.

Far from it.

Horus landed on the Administrator's table, at the far end, and began walking pigeon-toed up the table.

This was at Yami's insistence; he had wanted the Administrators to see Horus up close, see every last feather that was in place, see how realistic Horus was….A product of powerful magic.

Horus reached the other end of the table. He took the candle out of its holder in front of Administrator Unger, snuffed it out, and flew back to Yami. Administrator Unger looked after Horus, impressed despite himself.

Horus hovered in front of Yami, giving him first the napkin—which Yami snapped open—and then the candle. Yami thanked Horus, then indicated he could go. Horus flew back to the Administrator's table—another of Yami's machinations—and alighted towards the center. He began pecking at some of the meats on the platters as Yami began his next trick.

Firstly, he lit the candle—a basic parlor trick, but it was a good build-up to what he was planning. Magic, like anything else, needed a good flow, and starting with something simple made it easier to build up to something better—and harder.

Because one of the more challenging tricks was getting fire to do what you wanted.

He built the flame up until it had almost consumed the candle—not a true Animate Flame, as that art had been lost long ago, but pretty darned close. He dropped his hand as the rest of the candle went, leaving the fire suspended in the air—then he snapped the napkin through it.

Instantly, the napkin was engulfed with the fire. Yami spun around, to the gasps of the audience (good), and then flung the flaming fabric into the air.

And then he was applying his magic again, and the flaming napkin had transformed itself into a fiery phoenix, which swooped and swung and dazzled according to his whim. It flew from table to table and light to light, sucking up the little tongues of flame until the phoenix was the only source of light in the Hall. He sent it up to perform more tricks in the vaulted ceiling, then allowed it to burn itself out, dissipating in a fireworks burst. When it did, he sent every last little spark to every last candle, lighting the Hall once again to a chorus of _oohs_ and _ahhs_.

He gestured to Horus, who lit into the air once more, did a few backflips and corkscrews for good measure, then hovered right over Yami's head, where he expertly shifted back to Yami's top hat with the feathers in the hatband. He dropped perfectly on Yami's head.

Yami gave it a full count of three, to give them a moment to admire everything, then gave one last flourish, sending a galaxy of colorful sparks to dance over everyone's heads. They winked out as they drifted down, to everyone's delight.

Yami doffed Horus, bowing repeatedly to the standing ovation he was receiving. He didn't even bother to disguise his grin.

Yes sir, life was good.

*\\*/*

Teana stumbled down the steps, not wanting to be anywhere near the Hall.

The magician who had asked her out…Yami _Skellington….He_ was the _Head Mage_ , the magician that all other magicians admired for his strength and magic….

Stupid—she should have known. She wondered how many _other_ women had been introduced to his fellow magicians over the years. Many, judging by how that one owl-faced girl—Kineil—had pulled him aside. She should never have come.

 _Well that settles that_ , she thought. _I'll never see him again._

She ran down to the river, not wanting to go home just yet. She stared out at the rushing water, glinting in the moonlight. That was the good thing about the river, she felt—stand and listen long enough, and it had a surprisingly calming effect.

Teana absently put one hand to her collarbones, where the necklace was still hanging. She unfastened it and prepared to throw it out in the river.

But she stopped. Something told her that—at the very least—the necklace would be worth something. And didn't she need the extra money?

She pocketed the necklace and turned on her heel, heading back for town and her home.


	9. Second Impressions

**Chapter 9, everybody! In which we deal with the aftermath of the Masquerade Ball….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes, good for Yami! Or bad for Yami, depending upon which one we're talking about. Well, that's good to know—I'll have to check it out. And the Rondo series…yes, I have heard of the Three Doors trilogy—I need to check it out….Eh, some time away from them will convince you that they aren't as bad as teenage years may make it—to quote the Weasley twins: you'll appreciate them a lot better when you have to wash your own socks. And speaking of, make sure you pack socks on this camping trip that you don't mind throwing away. :) Haha, and no, spreading us out didn't help—we'd gather at the Commons or the food courts and plot there. :D**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Sound of Music_** **© 1959 Richard Rodgers ("The** ** _hiiiiills_** **are** ** _aliiiiiive~"_** **)**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 **"** **1982" © 198** **5** **Randy Travis (the song Kineil sings)**

 _ **Fried Green Tomatoes**_ **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet**

 **Dharma and Greg © 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Anzu woke up feeling like she should be singing "The Sound of Music."

Last night had been wonderful, impressionable…interesting. She had a fluttering in her heart whenever she thought of Yami, but she kept it under control for now. It wouldn't do for her to fall head-over-heels in love with someone unless she was _sure_ he was interested.

But he was the eldest son of the Head Mage! If anyone could teach her a little magic….

She hugged herself a little, excited, when another thought crossed her mind.

The story about the boogie-mage, Skellington.

Why would Yami share his name with the worst mage of all time?

She wasn't sure, but she was definitely going to find out. And what better place to search for information then where she worked—the library?

*\\*/*

Yami's home, Skellington Manor, had traces of opulence to it.

It wasn't overpowering, but it was large and high-class, with more than a touch of the gothic that came from his hometown. It had been built with one thing in mind: entertaining a lot of people.

Understandable, considering both his bloodline and his personality.

Yami, at the moment, was busy trying to track down the girl from last night, Teana. All he had to go on was her appearance, her first name, and where she worked. Hopefully, it would be enough.

It occurred to him that he should be at work, but he didn't enjoy entertaining the notion of what the Administrators would be like this morning.

So, with a cup of coffee, a pad of paper, and a full ink pen beside him, he stood at the floor-model telephone and started his search.

"Hello, operator?" he asked once the answering click sounded.

"' _Please connect me—to nine-teen eighty-two!'"_ Kineil chimed from the table. She and Vulcan were currently at his kitchen table, cleaning out his pantry. He ignored her for the moment and focused on the phone.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" he asked, covering his other ear with his free hand. "Oh, hello Miss Dale—I'm glad I got you. Tell me, do you know anyone with the first name of Teana?" he paused, listening to her answer. "No? Are you sure?" Another pause. "Of course you're sure. The thing is, I know she lives around here…." Another pause, this one longer. "Ah….I don't suppose you know how I could get a hold of the lower operator, do you?" Pause. "By going downtown. You're not connected to them?" Pause. "Irate phone calls. Understandable. Well, that does narrow my search. Thank you Miss Dale—have a good day." He hung up the phone and turned to his friends. "Miss Dale informs me that I have a lovely voice for the phone."

"At least it's not a lovely _face_ for the phone," Vulcan told him.

"So Miss Teana hails from the 'commoner' side of town," Kineil announced, loading a piece of toast with strawberry jam. "I could have told you that."

"It's no indication," Yami told her, bringing his coffee and writing utensils over to the counter and sitting down. "Idgy goes to church down by the river all the time."

"Face it, Yami, you'll not see her again," Vulcan told him, getting up to get another cup of coffee. "It was a one-off thing, and chances are you won't see her again. Hey, you're out of coffee—mind if I make another pot?"

"Go on ahead," Yami said, waving over his shoulder. "Let's see….It's still pretty early—she probably wouldn't be at work yet, would she?"

"Not unless she works on a farm," Kineil told him.

"Hmm," Yami noised, writing down his findings on his pad. Kineil watched him for a beat and continued.

"Maybe it's for the best." Yami looked up at her; she elaborated. "Sometimes the universe tells you something is off even when you try for it—you know, like that mystic mumbo-jumbo that those Hippies in the woods go on about."

"Unfortunately for that mystic mumbo-jumbo, I'm stubborn," Yami said, putting a slice of bread into the toaster. "I suppose I should head to work for a while—then I can try that little shop she works at."

"That'll go over like a lead balloon with those boys," Kineil muttered. She didn't try to dissuade Yami. She knew better than anybody that once he set his mind on something, he would stick with it until the very end.

He wondered if that mentality would get him into trouble one day.

*/*\\*

Yami's home, the Montgau Residence, had traces of opulence to it.

It came as no surprise to him, considering his family's station, but it was good to appreciate it, especially on a fine morning such as this.

He had sneaked down the stairs and onto the front porch of his home at the crack of dawn to wait for the newspaper and the milk to be delivered. Now he was sedate on the porch swing, waiting. He and Yuki would often compete for the right to bring in said essentials, and the fact that _he_ had gotten them first by simply waiting for them on the porch would irk his little brother to no end, he knew.

That, and he couldn't really stay asleep last night.

The excitement had kept him up. Not the roiling success he had with the Administration last night—he had known _that_ was coming—but the conversation with the lovely Anzu. She was beautiful, she was smart, she was funny….And she genuinely seemed to like him for him.

That last one, of all the others, seemed to him to be the most important thing.

"Hi Yami!"

"Hey, Josh!" Yami rejoined, seeing the young man come up the walk with the milk. "Nice morning, isn't it?"

"If you like to be up before the chickens," Josh said, depositing the milk and straightening his glasses. "So you decided to get up early to wait for me and the milk?"

"Pretty much," Yami said. "When Jo gets here with the paper, I'll be all set."

Josh made a small exclamation and dove for his milk truck. A few moments later, Yami divined why—he looked down the street as the whirring of bicycle wheels grew louder.

Jonouchi crested the hill at a good clip, newspaper bag seeming to float in the air behind him. Mid-air, he reached back and flung a paper at Yami's next-door neighbor's house.

Yami decided that Josh's approach was best, and ducked beneath the railing of his porch as the newspaper zinged in and banged against the front door.

"Nice arm, Jo!" Yami called.

"Hey, thanks!" Jonouchi called back, already disappearing down his route.

"I better get going too," Josh said, glancing up from the floorboard where he had taken shelter. "See you, Yami. Congrats on the promotion!"

"See you, Josh. And thanks!" Yami exclaimed as Josh drove off.

Josh's comment had cemented what Yami believed: that promotion was a sure thing.

He smiled to himself as he collected the newspaper and the milk from off the steps. With the sure thing set, he could now focus on something that might not be such a sure thing: Anzu.

Yami's smile faded slightly as he realized he had never found out anything about her last night. She had simply soaked up everything said like a sponge, thrilled to be there, and had never said anything about herself.

Yami shrugged and went into his house. Finding Anzu should be a simple matter.

After all, he _was_ going to be Head Mage. With that certain, everything else would fall into place.

Because that was how things worked in his world.


	10. Pokers and Books

**Chapter 10, everybody! In which pokers are used and the writer laments that she's not any better at writing romance-y stuff…apologies in advance if it comes off as mushy tripe. ^^;**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Too true—and I shouldn't think it'll take much longer before things get messy. Haha, thanks! Yes, I remembered that—"the lone paperboy." I thought it'd be a nice touch to include it here. :D**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! No, he isn't—he just doesn't know it yet. All right—definitely on the list. Don't worry, we've all been there—I think it's a combination of teen-stuff kicking in and the realization that their children are growing up. It'll iron out sometime in your twenties, I think. Aw, man, more socks bite the dust! Ouch—try Vaseline: that's a literal miracle substance, that is. And yes, they can't stop us weirdos from networking anymore. :D Pfff—I can picture that, actually (plugging in Harper's Ferry memories as there's no hills or inclines in my area). Ooh, enjoy your holiday! :D**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 _ **The Nightmare Before Christmas**_ **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Merlin_ ****© 2008 Julian Jones ("Are you threatening me with a _spoon?_ ")**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Teana, through a great deal of self-control, continued on with life as she knew it.

She was currently at her noon job, the one she had been hurrying to when she had bumped into Yami that first time….

 _Stop that_ , she scolded herself, shoving that thought out of her head and turning back to the inventory list she had been checking. All she wanted was to forget that night and the people involved.

The bell rang as the front door opened. "Mr. Senders is out to lunch," Teana announced, not looking up from her work. "How can I help you?"

Feet _tap-tap_ ped over to the counter where she was sitting at. She arched an eyebrow, annoyed, but still didn't look up. "I said, how can I help you?"

"For starters, Miss Gardenier, you could have said a proper good-bye last night."

Teana slammed her pen down and jerked her head up, caught completely flat-footed. There in front of her was that tall, dark and nutty magician Yami Skellington. _Who was also Head Mage_.

"What are you doing here?" she snapped before she could recover.

"I was looking for you, actually," Yami said, indicating her. "And here you are! What a lovely job; you don't have to be here until noon."

"That's because I have five other jobs I have to be at," she hissed.

"That seems like a lot."

Teana stiff-armed him out the door. "Git!"

He gave her a bemused expression. "Really?" he asked sardonically.

"Did I stutter?"

"No," he said, putting his hands in his pockets and rocking on his heels. "But seeing as this _is_ a free country, I don't have to leave if I don't want to."

"Don't you have anything better to do?" she asked, narrowing her eyes. "Like, I don't know, _run_ the country?"

"What makes you think that I do that?"

"I'm sorry, what was it you do for a living?"

"As little as possible."

"Oh, I can believe that!" she laughed harshly. "I've seen for myself what comes out of the Administration Building!"

Yami blinked and tilted his head; she had the feeling he was finally catching on. "And you think I'm like that."

It wasn't a question. "Yes," she said, without hesitation. "I saw Miss Wicks pull you aside. What was she doing, chastising you for introducing yet another date?"

"She was criticizing me for having a member of the waiting staff for a date, actually."

"And after that, I'm sure you were eager to get rid of me."

Yami clearly took offense to that. "If I was so eager to get rid of you, then why did I go through all this trouble to see you again?"

"Because I walked out on you," she announced, walking around to the stove. "Obviously, I embarrassed you."

"No, not really."

"Then you wanted the necklace back."

"I gave it to you, so no."

"Hmph," she noised, stopping and turning. "Well, you've wasted enough time here. Good day, Head Mage."

Yami had a look of consternation on his face. It was soon replaced by a look of understanding.

"Ah," he said finally. "You didn't walk out last night until _after_ Dr. Sumbinix announced me."

"I'm surprised you noticed."

He tilted his head again. "And why does that make such a difference?"

"It makes all the difference in the world."

"Why?"

 _"Because!"_ she exploded, then reined herself back in. she pointed back towards the door. "Out."

He turned to look at the door, then back at her, and took a step forward instead.

Instantly she grabbed what she had come over for. He stopped and looked down at the poker tip touching his stomach.

He looked back at her, a wry look on his face. "Are you threatening me with a poker?"

"Are you really that dense that you have to ask? No wonder everyone says we're run by idiots."

"There's that everyone again—who is this everyone? I'd like to set them straight."

She pushed the poker a bit. "Get out. I never want to see you or your silly tie again."

"I like my tie."

"Out."

He shrugged and turned for the door. It dinged merrily as he opened it, a sharp contrast to the tension.

Or so she thought. When he turned to face her again, it was with that same infuriating smile.

"I hope you know I don't give up that easily."

"Do I really have to throw this poker at you?"

He shrugged. "Good bye, Miss Gardenier."

"Good riddance," she announced as the door swung shut.

*/*\\*

Anzu's job at the library spanned a number of responsibilities: stamping books, organizing books, cleaning books, shelving books….

It all boiled down to books.

Today, however, she was reading books, specifically books on Delvaire genealogy.

It didn't take her long to track down the Montgaus. Within the span of a couple of hours, she had learned quite a bit about not only Gregor Montgau, but Edward Montgau—his father—and Thomas Montgau—the famous mage who took down Skellington.

That was all fine and dandy. But now Anzu was looking for something on Skellington, and it was proving to be a difficult feat.

She shoved away what proved to be another fruitless book and massaged her temples, sighing. What was going on? There were no records of Yami Skellington—not even any trace of a Skellington family. It was like he had vanished into thin air.

"Something wrong, dear?"

"No, Miss Binder," Anzu began, and then changed tacks. "Well, yes, there is, sort of."

"Hmm," Miss Binder noised, and then picked up one of the books. "Researching your family tree, dearie?"

"Not mine. When I was at the Masquerade Ball last night—"

"Oh! How was it?"

"Wonderful, but I heard about this mage named Yami Skellington, and I can't find any record of him at all."

"And ye won't, dear," Miss Binder said, shaking her head. She looked as though she were trying not to cross herself, and then gave in and did so. "It's always been thought that names give power, and the common superstition is that if his name is said, it could bring him back."

Anzu digested the notion. "But who _was_ this guy? He sounded absolutely horrid, but last night was the first time I ever heard of him!"

Miss Binder hesitated, then sat down next to Anzu and patted her hand.

"Dearie, there are some things that you're better off not knowing. That mage….He wasn't a good person, from what I heard. Wiped out a whole village once, so I'm told. He fought the Administration tooth and nail….They were lucky to defeat him."

Anzu grew quiet for a moment. "Thomas Montgau," she said finally.

"Yes," Miss Binder nodded. "He was the only one who could match him. He was a great man."

"Is that why all the Head Mages since then been Montgaus?"

Miss Binder nodded, then shivered slightly, placing her hands in her lap. "Why don't we get off of that subject? How _was_ last night, dear?"

Anzu couldn't help but smile.

"It was _wonderful_. I met this boy—"

"Oh, look at you! What is his name?"

Anzu couldn't help but giggle at the irony.

"Yami Montgau. He was why I was looking at these books."

"The eldest son of the Head Mage," Miss Binder mused. "You certainly caught the eye of the best, didn't you dear?"

Anzu nodded, then hesitated. "Miss Binder, why would the Head Mage name his eldest son Yami? I mean…." She trailed off, letting her silence speak for her.

"Ah," Miss Binder noised, thinking. "I'm not sure, dear; he could be named after the first Head Mage, Hallowen. You'll have to ask him when you see him."

Anzu was quiet for a minute. "What if I never see him again?"

Miss Binder chuckled. "I doubt that, dear. If you felt a connection, then I'm sure you two are meant to be. And if you never meet him again….Well, that was meant to be, too."

Anzu frowned at that. "Why can't I make my own decisions?"

Miss Binder laughed.

"Of course you can, dearest! That's what free will is for!"


	11. Coattails

**Chapter 11, everybody! And can I just say, writing romantic-like-stuff** ** _hurts_** **….Thank goodness I won't have to write any more for a while….**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes…I wonder why that could be? And no, he doesn't—both should be answered eventually….As will your next two sentences….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes, you will—someday, you will look back on it…and say "hey, that'd make a good story…." And the story will have a running gag about socks—I can feel it! Ouch. Just keep at it with the Vaseline…and maybe soaking in Epsom-salt water (the doctor recommended that when I injured my foot earlier this year—but the Vaseline was enough. It's a miracle substance, I tell you). Just looked up Halls Gap, and yes, the two do look similar (and apparently there's a Halls Gap, Kentucky, too). My leg muscles ache in sympathy. T-T**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Public Enemies_** **© 2009 Michael Mann (the scene between Teana and Yami is inspired by the coat scene in the movie)**

Teana gave a forced grin as she accepted another coat.

She was at her night job, taking care of coats at an uptown club. She liked the atmosphere of the building, but more often than not, she didn't care for the people who attended the club.

She certainly wasn't excited about who _might_ show up.

"Hey." She turned to see her friend Miko, holding fresh hangers and looking at her with concern. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," Teana said, smoothing out the coat she had just received. "What makes you think something's wrong?"

Miko turned to a line of customers. "I'm very sorry you haven't received your coat tickets yet," she announced. "My friend had a very distressing day yesterday and hasn't recovered quite yet."

There was an understanding murmur as Miko handed out the tickets. Teana busied herself with the hangers, glad that the dim lighting hid her blush.

"So," Miko said, when the tickets were distributed and the customers were gone. "What's eating you?"

Teana sighed. Figuring there was nothing for it, she described her meeting and subsequent so-called date with Yami Skellington.

"Woah," Miko said, after Teana had finished. "He sounds amazing! A big cape, you said?"

"Yes, but you know," Teana said, accepting more coats from customers and putting them on hangers. "That guy, and the crowd he hangs out with, seems too flamboyant for me. They're just not my style."

"What?" Miko rolled her blue eyes. "They're _magicians_ , Teana, of _course_ they're flamboyant. And that one guy sounds like the Head Mage."

"Here's the thing," Teana explained, feeling her face warm again. "He _is_ the Head Mage."

"Ooh!" Miko grabbed Teana's arm. "If he likes you…"

"Nothing will come of it, Miko," Teana said, heading into the back room. "After I left him like that last night, and our discussion today, he'll get the hint and leave me alone."

"But he's Head Mage."

"Miko, you know me—do I really strike you as _Mrs. Head Mage_ material?"

"You strike me as _stupid_ material right now," she heard Miko mutter. Teana held her head high and decided to take some extra time in hanging up coats, lest she snap back at her coworker.

Teana was still busy with the coats in the back when Miko stuck her head in again.

"Teana! That guy you were telling me about: was he tall, dark, and handsome; dark eyes, flowing cape, and a mess of spiny hair?"

"Wow," Teana said, looking over at Miko. "You have him down to a T. How'd you do that?"

"He just walked in! Want me to wave him over?"

"No! I don't want to see him."

"You're a fool," Miko said, pouting. "He's obviously a well-to-do mage: this is your chance!"

"A chance for _what_ , pray tell?"

"Um, well….Ah, Teana!" Miko glanced over her shoulder. "He's coming over! What do I do?"

"Don't tell him I'm here!" Teana hissed. "If he asks for me, tell him I'm out!"

Miko hustled back to the desk and tried to look calm.

Yami Skellington strode over and leaned on the desk, steepling his fingers and fixing Miko in a pretty intense gaze, although he looked like he was trying to temper it with a smile.

"Excuse me, but is Teana Gardenier in?"

"Ah, uh, no, she's not." Miko was blushing. Teana, meanwhile, was frantic—how did this guy know she worked here?

Yami leaned forward: Miko flushed even redder from the proximity. "Listen," he spoke in a deep, conspirator voice. "I know she's right behind that wall over there, so why don't we just end the charade and call her over?"

Miko became a new shade of crimson and flustered over to Teana. A few moments later, Teana was standing in front of Yami, arms folded in irritation.

"All right," Teana said, trying very hard not to snarl. "How did you know I was back there?"

"Well, I hate to say this, but your friend isn't that subtle. That, and I could see you from over there by the door. And I checked the roster."

"Hmph," Teana said, unfolding her arms and placing her hands flat on the counter. "So what do you want?"

"A better explanation for why you left last night."

"Ask for something else."

Yami spread his arms in an apologetic gesture. "Why did you leave last night? I was under the impression you were having a good time."

"Well, I guess you were also under the impression that I was easy."

"What gave you that assumption?"

"Well..." Teana fiddled with the check-in sheet. "I don't want anyone to think that I'm some magician's moll. Or anyone's, for that matter."

"Is that how you view yourself?"

"No! But someone else could see it like that."

"And who are you trying to impress upon that you aren't?"

Before Teana could answer, a short, impatient man cut in. "Excuse me, but finish your lover's quarrel later. I want my jacket, and I want it _now!_ " He thumped the counter on the last word for emphasis. Teana jumped a bit.

Yami, however, slowly turned and glared at the man.

He suddenly snapped away the ticket stub that the man had been waving around and examined it. With an almost casual flick of his wrist, he sent the coat rack spinning. The man's jacket came shooting out and collided with the man, knocking him over.

"Your jacket," Yami said, flicking the stub at the man. That done, Yami reached over, grabbed Teana's jacket, and flipped the counter door open.

"Give me another chance," Yami said, offering Teana her jacket. "Come with me, and I guarantee no one will ever bother you again."

Teana looked at the jacket, unsure, and then to Miko, who couldn't hold her opinion in any longer.

"Go on, Teana!" Miko blurted out. "You'd be a fool not to!"

"Miko," Teana sighed, shaking her head. She looked back at Yami, and then at the customer on the floor.

The manager walked up.

"Hey!" he yelled. "What is this?"

Teana made her decision.

She put her arms in her jacket and let Yami drape it over her shoulders.

"Me quitting," she told the manager.

She didn't look back as they left, Yami's arm draped gently around her.

*/*\\*

Anzu was walking down the steps of the library, lost in thought.

She paused to look at the beginning sunset, reflecting about her research earlier. Such a train of thought led to the subject of that research, Yami. Would she see him again?

She hoped so. There was something about him, even without the fact that he was next in line to be Head Mage….

She blinked. The notion that he would be Head Mage didn't thrill her in the slightest.

That was a good sign, she supposed. That meant that perhaps her attraction towards him relied on something else.

She sighed; for that to bear any fruit, she would have to meet him again, and that wasn't going to happen.

She turned to walk down the steps and nearly stumbled—coming up the steps was none other than Yami Montgau.

He seemed just as surprised to see her as she was to see him; he stopped dead in his tracks, several steps below her. "Uh, hi," he said, uncertain.

"Hi," she returned lightly, deciding to play it as she had before. "Come for some reading?"

"I uh, came to find you, actually," he said, and came up a few more steps, confident smile reappearing on his face.

"Well you found me," she said, tilting her head. "Now what?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to go out this Monday."

She gave him a coy grin. His grin faltered a little.

"With me….On a date," he finished.

Anzu laughed. "I'd love to," she replied.

"Really?" Yami asked, coming even with her. "Would you like to go on more than one?"

"With you?"

"Yes, with me. And maybe a few of my friends every once in a while. You remember them?"

"Mr. Montgau, I believe you're asking me to be your girlfriend."

"Yes, I believe that's what it's called."

"Do you love me?"

"What?"

It had just slipped out, but she pursued it. "Do you really love me, Mr. Montgau?"

He blinked. "Yes—Yes, I can't explain it, but….I look at you….And there's this, this _feeling_ , this warm feeling in my chest….And I can't imagine my life without you." Here he blushed. "That sounded silly," he muttered, looking down at his shoes.

"Not really. I've read sillier in romance novels."

He half smirked, then looked at her. "What about you? Do you love me?"

She looked at him, considering. "You're the eldest son of the Head Mage. You're the most talented magician in your age group. You're possibly named after either one of the most notorious magicians or one of the most celebrated, depending on whether you were named after Skellington or Hallowen."

"Mom liked the name," he explained.

"I've always wanted to know magic, and if I was nice to you, did what you wanted, you might deign to teach me."

"Or you could ask."

"I could." She took a step closer to him. "But none of that matters to me. I _do_ love you. I feel exactly the way you do, and while I have a lot more to gain than you do, none of that matters to me."

He blinked, nodded his head for a few beats. "Wow, that was honest."

"I figure it's important."

He gave it some thought. "How old are you?"

"Just turned seventeen. You?"

"A bit older than that," he said. "So we're probably too young for a serious relationship."

"Probably."

He scratched the back of his neck. "But that doesn't mean we can't go together, see how things turn out, see if we don't work well together…."

"Are you afraid of commitment?"

"No…."

She leaned in close. "Mr. Montgau, I'd be pleased to go out with you again."

He grinned. "Call me Yami."


	12. Bee Charming

**Chapter 12, everybody! In which we learn how Skulduggery and Idgy meet, spot a Mark Twain quote, and see a bit of the surroundings of Delvaire….In an interesting side note, the Giant Mountains are a reference to one of my college buddy's characters, and would have had giants appear later, but the way the story is developing seems to be dummying the reference out. Ah, well—it's still interesting(ish).**

 **And by the by,** ** _Hotel Transylvania 2_** **was funny and entertaining, but I highly recommend seeing** ** _The Intern—_** **great movie. :D**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yeah! Go Teana! Tell that manager! Pff—to be honest, Teana walking out has shades of my Mom in it—she's walked out of more than one job saying she didn't need it. XD Yeah, that was a little speedy for those two—I chalk it up to them only knowing about love through sappy movies and books. Their relationship will get a bit more realistic once the glow wears off.**

 **Luckycat, thanks for the review! Awesome, thank you! I'm glad you like it (and hope you get your login working soon)! Ah, you make me blush. :D Yes, success! :D Thanks again, and I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **References:**

 _ **Yu-Gi-Oh!**_ **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 _ **The Nightmare Before Christmas**_ **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Guardians of Ga'Hoole_ ****© 2003 Kathryn Lasky (the kind of bird Horus is...)**

 ** _The Lion King_ ****© 1994 Disney (paraphrased quote here...)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy**

 ** _Fried Green Tomatoes_** **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet (we see the bee-charming scene here)**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Teana leaned against the windowsill in as little as she could manage.

It was hot—hot enough to fry an egg—and she was leaning against her windowsill in a light gauzy dress. Which, she had to admit, was still too much. Still, there was enough of a breeze to make things tolerable.

Not for the first time, she wished there was a tree next to her apartment. There was a small pecan tree next to the building, but it wouldn't be tall enough to shade her room for quite some time. Maybe if she asked Yami to charm it….

She scolded herself for considering it. She was still convinced she was a passing fancy for him, no matter what he had done for her over the past week—she had the feeling he'd break his own back if she asked. She fingered the teardrop necklace, which she hadn't taken off since the Ball. She didn't know why—maybe because it was the nicest thing she had ever owned.

"Hey, hot stuff!"

Teana recognized that voice, playful tinged with some sarcasm, and looked down to see who she expected to see—Kineil.

She was standing next to the pecan tree, suit jacket gone, but with the tie, suspenders, and shirt still there, but highly loosened. Her pants were rolled up to her knees and her hat was tilted back, revealing her Jessy-cat grin.

Standing next to her and holding a picnic basket was a woman Teana recognized as Skulduggery's wife, Eugina—Idgy. She was dressed in a woman's blouse and shorts, and was smiling up at her.

"We're going to have a picnic," she said, with a voice as pleasant as her husband's. "Want to come?"

Teana wasted no time. "I'll be right down!"

*/*\\*

"I've never been to the Eastern hills before."

"You're missing an interesting piece of land," Yami observed as they walked up the hill. "It's pretty much all field as far as the eye can see."

Anzu glanced at Kels, who nodded. She gave a little shrug and focused on climbing.

The hill was nowhere as steep as the Giant Mountains to the west, but it was steeper than what she was used to. They trudged on in silence before something occurred to Anzu.

"Why do they call them the Giant Mountains?" Anzu asked, wondering—it had been one of those names she had always taken for granted in geography class.

"Because giants live there," Jonouchi called from behind, not missing a beat.

Anzu turned, startled, and nearly fell. "Really?"

"That's the rumor," Yami called back, already at the top of the hill. He turned to address them before continuing on. "Giants supposedly live in the mountains. No one's ever seen them, of course, but then again, no one goes up to the mountains."

"No one with any sense, at least," Kels said as she reached the top.

Anzu turned when they crested the hill to observe Delvaire in the bright morning sun. The clock merrily bonged the quarter hour, the ringing shaking the late summer air.

"Enjoying the view?" Yami asked, returning to the top of the hill when he realized she wasn't following.

"It's very pretty," she answered, turning her head slightly to see him. He looked almost regal, like a king surveying his land with pride—in himself as much as in his land.

"Thanks for bringing me, by the way," she added as they turned to continue on their way.

"It was nothing," Yami said, doffing his hat and throwing it up in the air. When it reached its peak, it morphed into the black-feathered Horus, who flew off with a gleeful whoop.

Anzu kept a neutral face. Horus had startled her this morning when Yami had sent him up to tap on her bedroom window. The fact that he didn't really resemble any bird she knew of didn't help matters.

"What kind of bird _is_ Horus, anyway?" she asked.

"The kind that comes from a hat," Yami replied promptly. When he noticed her expression he continued, "I'm not sure, actually—I'd say an eagle, except for the ear tufts."

Anzu shrugged, allowing him to drop the subject. They crested the next hill, and the sight she saw caused her to gasp.

Towards the south she could see the river, and how the hills gently flattened out to meet it. To the west and north were hills, as far as she could see, with occasional copses of trees to break it up. Further to the northwest, she could see a line of straight, limbless trees. _Too_ straight to be trees, as a matter of fact….

Yami nudged her, prompting her to bring down her hands from shielding her eyes. "See that line of poles over there? That's where we're headed."

"Those are poles?" she asked. "Who puts poles in the middle of nowhere?"

"Well," Yami said, as they set off again. "No one knows for sure. Some think that another civilization from years ago placed them there—although for what point or purpose, no one knows."

"I think it might have something to do with electricity," Honda opined.

"Honda, with you, everything has to do with electricity," Jonouchi responded.

*\\*/*

An hour later, they were lounging beneath a huge oak tree in the middle of a field. The sun was high overhead, but the shade of the tree blocked it, and the only sounds they heard besides themselves were the trickles of the ever-present river and the buzzing of bees nearby.

Kineil was stretched out on the blanket, warding off ants occasionally with a well-placed glare. Teana resolved to ask her how she did that—she had a few people she'd like to glare away sometime.

Mrs. Pleasant stood up and stretched.

"Do you like honey?" she asked.

"Well sure," Teana said, unsure of what to do with the sudden question. "Doesn't everyone?"

"Perfect!" she bent down and picked up a jar. "I'll be back."

And she strode off to an old stump, where the buzzing was originating.

Teana and Kineil sat up, watching her walk towards the stump, through the cloud of bees, muttering something below her breath.

"What is she doing?" Teana asked quietly.

"Bee charming," Kineil told her. "She's great at this—watch her."

Mrs. Pleasant reached into the stump, still muttering, and pulled out a hunk of honeycomb, dripping with honey. She gently placed it in the jar and walked back to them, the bees that had landed on her slowly dispersing back to their nest.

"That's amazing," Teana said when she had returned, awe tingeing her voice. "How did you do that?"

"I just talk to them, is all," Mrs. Pleasant said, sitting down. "Here, try some."

Teana stuck a finger in, lacking a butter knife, and tasted it. "It tastes amazing!"

"I think it must be what angels eat," Mrs. Pleasant said, reclining as Kineil helped herself.

"That and watermelon," Kineil told her. She passed the jar back to Teana, fingers still in her mouth.

"You know, that's how I met Skulduggery," Mrs. Pleasant told them.

Teana paused, hand half in the jar. "Really?"

Mrs. Pleasant nodded. "I was charming bees for honey, much like I did there, when he happened by. It was a bigger nest than that one, and I was _covered_ in bees. He thought I was in trouble and went charging in to save me. We came out of the swarm, him covered in stings and me without a mark." She laughed. "I healed up his stings all right, but we were both stung with something that doesn't go away that easily, and we were married a year later."

Teana hugged her knees. "That's beautiful."

"Yes, wonderful. Very mushy," Kineil said around a mouthful of honey. "To be quite honest, I'm glad it's you and not me."

"You'll find someone someday," Mrs. Pleasant chided.

"I hope not," Kineil snapped back. "I'm not looking, so I won't be doing any finding, either."

"I wasn't looking when I met Skul."

"Miss Wicks, I believe you're ahead of your time," Teana said.

"That's my problem," Kineil said, tilting her head towards the sky.

Teana followed the track of a passing cloud. "What do you think the future will be like?" she wondered aloud.

"There will still be bees," Mrs. Pleasant said. "I think that the future might be better, but I have a hard time believing that things will be better than they are now."

Teana turned to her. "How so?"

"This is a wonderful day," she told Teana. "I'm out on a picnic, knowing my boys are by the river—claiming they're fishing, but probably knee-deep in mud, searching for crabs—I'm sitting with friends, enjoying fresh honey from the comb. _This_ is a good day, and I like to think that there will always be good days in the future, like there always will be bees."

"And honey," Kineil interjected, smiling.

Teana leaned back and soaked that in, enjoying the company.


	13. Pole Climbing

**Chapter 13, everyone! In which we include an admonition to _not_ try this** **at home** **….**

 **In other news, sorry for the delay on this one—we were travelling yesterday and I didn't have Internet access (yes, I'm awful).**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review(s)! Yes,** ** _Fried Green Tomatoes_** **is a good movie (I'm not sure if it's ever explained fully how she** ** _does_** **charm the bees). We shall see….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Perhaps it'll get easier once we get to adventure-y stuff. Bleh—I'd say stay off your feet, but that doesn't seem to be working, so just keep at it with that Vaseline (if you use enough, you actually** ** _can't_** **walk without slipping, so there's an excuse there). I don't know—but I find the idea of a Brooklyn where you are as hilarious as the town named Dublin near where I live. It went something like this: "How far are you willing to travel to line dance?" (addressed to my Mom). Mom: "how far are we talking?" "Dublin."** ** _"Ireland!?"_**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 _ **Skulduggery Pleasant**_ **© 2007 Derek Landy**

 _ **Fried Green Tomatoes**_ **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet (and now we get a reference to the recurring lake story)**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

The poles gradually grew bigger as they approached, until they were at the foot of them and Anzu could see that they were as tall as a two-story building.

They were set up in a straight line, following a flat bit of land that Anzu guessed had once been a road. From this proximity, Anzu could clearly see that these poles had been manmade: the wood was smoothed and aged, and bled tar in spots; near the top, two cross-beams were hammered to the pole, trailing long, thin, black vines down to the ground. Some of the poles had ivy climbing them, but the one they approached was currently bare.

"Well, what do you think?" Yami asked.

"It's…um….What is it?"

"A load of fun," Jonouchi replied, grabbing one of the black vines. He pulled himself up, put his feet against the pole, and began climbing up to the top.

Anzu looked at Yami. "You have _got_ to be kidding me."

Yami shrugged. "Unless you propose another way up. Trust me, it'll be fun."

Jonouchi and Honda were already at the top of the one they were standing in front of, and Kels and Yuki had scrambled up another. Yami took her hand and gently pulled her over to a third one.

"They can fit three, but two is more comfortable," he explained, handing her a vine.

Anzu looked up then back down at him. "I can't do this," she said, shaking her head.

"Of course you can!" Yami exclaimed, a smile on his face. "You've seen how to do it—you go up first, and if you fall, I'll catch you. And remember: don't look down."

Anzu could think of a number of reasons why she _couldn't_ do this: she was afraid of heights, it looked old, the vine wouldn't hold, etc., et al….But Yami looked confident. He exuded it, and Anzu felt herself absorb a little bit of that confidence when she looked at him.

She glanced back up, saw a glint of something, and focused on that. "Don't look down," she muttered to herself. "Yeah, right."

She put her feet on the pole like she had seen Jonouchi do, but decided against it and climbed it like a rope ladder, hand over hand, feet pressed tightly against the vine. After a few minutes, she called back down to Yami.

"How am I doing?"

"You're about three feet up," Yami answered.

Anzu groaned in frustration. Yami chuckled, which made it worse. "Don't worry, you're doing fine. Keep going."

She did, gritting her teeth against the growing sensation of gravity. It was all in her head, she knew, but she couldn't help but be conscious of the fact that she was getting steadily further from the ground.

Finally, she reached the top of the vine and her hand slapped against wood. She gingerly hauled herself up, muscles trembling from being so far above the ground. When she was comfortably situated, she waved triumphantly down at Yami, who laughed and climbed up with ease.

She gave him a pouting glare when he sat down opposite her. "What?" he asked innocently.

"Showoff," she declared, then focused on some strange glass baubles on the beams. "What are these?"

Yami touched one thoughtfully. "You know, I really don't know. I _do_ know what we use _this_ for," he said, tapping his foot against a metal drum attached to the pole. He reached down and popped the lid off, revealing cold soda bottles nestled inside.

"I put a chill charm on the interior to keep the drinks cold," he explained, handing her one. She accepted, then laughed when he put the edge of the cap beneath the bauble and snapped it off.

"I guess that's what it's for, then," Anzu said, carefully mirroring his action, then looking around thoughtfully as she took a sip. She could see part of the Ridge from here, where it narrowed from a huge gash in the ground and thinned out as it continued east. "This is quite a view from up here."

"Why do you think I wanted to show it to you?" Yami asked, a smile on his face. "Sometimes I think this is what these things were put here for."

Anzu looked over to where Jonouchi and Honda were sitting. "Do you know anything about this civilization?"

"Only that it dates back to eons before the Time of the Magicians," Yami said. "I personally bother myself with the past as little as possible—unless they pose something new to learn about magic."

Anzu examined the poles. She could hardly believe that someone built them and put them into the ground, and so straight. "Maybe they made these with magic."

"That would explain a lot."

Anzu was quiet for a while before posing her next question.

"Yami? How do we get back down?"

He gave her a toothy grin. "The same way we came up."

Anzu sighed. "I was afraid of that."

*\\*/*

The girls walked over hill and dale back to Delvaire, basking in the setting sun and enjoying the occasional cool breeze heading their way. They passed close to the river and followed the crest of one long hill that separated the river from a wider valley. Down on the river's edge, further upstream, Skulduggery and his son were indeed mucking around in the water, hunting for crabs.

"What do they do if they catch one?" Teana asked, pointing.

Idgy looked—she had insisted she call her that after the third "Mrs. Pleasant." "Mostly run around screaming."

The girls laughed; Skulduggery looked up and waved at them as his son pulled up a stick with a crab grasping the end.

They continued along the ridge. "This dip is a lot bigger than the others," Teana observed.

"Yeah, there used to be a lake here," Idgy said, arms outstretched as though she were balancing on the top of the hill.

"Really?"

"Sure—we used to swim in it and fish in it and everything. But one November this flock of ducks came and landed in it, and the temperature dropped real fast and froze around them. And they didn't have the patience to wait until spring when the ice would melt, so they flew off with the lake."

Teana stopped in her tracks. "You're kidding me."

Idgy looked over her shoulder and smiled broadly, but said nothing.

"Is she telling you about the lake?" Skulduggery called up.

"Yes!" Teana called back down. "Is she for real, or is she pulling my leg?"

Skulduggery smiled broadly and said nothing—and then yelped when his son showed him the crab by holding it in front of his face.

Idgy laughed. "Does it matter which it is?" she asked Teana. "It's a good story—you can leave it at that."

"Some things in life are mysteries?" Teana guessed, hands on her hips.

"Sure are," Idgy said, turning to face her. The twilight air added weight to her next statement. "But that's what makes life so interesting."

Teana considered this, then smiled, and left it at that.


	14. Blood and Water

**Chapter 14, everybody! In which we get ready to meet some new people….The Gypsians are partially based on the Gyptians from** ** _His Dark Materials,_** **by the way, although I wouldn't recommend the series (good start, slow middle, and entirely distasteful end, in my opinion). They're also based on the river gypsies from the movie** ** _Chocolat_** **, which I do recommend.**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Haha, I was wondering if anyone would recognize what they were climbing—not entirely sure, since they** ** _do_** **use telephones and the like, but it's mostly wired like you see in older neighborhoods. And for an extra dose of irony: after writing that scene, I looked high and low for poles that resembled what I wrote—they seem to only exist in fiction, weirdly enough. It was—and don't worry, they get back down without a hitch. I bet—I got maybe five feet off the ground on one of those rock walls, and my mind said** ** _nope_** **. I can't even imagine** ** _twenty_** **-five feet, so kudos to you! ^^ And maybe, maybe not. :)**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yeah….The good news is, this chapter is only half-mushy (we're developing, it seems!). I think all countries have those places that are weird to pronounce—around here, we start with Hoboken and then develop into some weirdo ones that you can't pronounce unless you're from the area (they're part of the inspiration for some of the town names in this story). Some of those places sound like they'd fit in well in Middle Earth, actually….And bleh—uncooperative weather. :P**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _The Corpse Bride_** **© 2005 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _His Dark Materials_** **© 1995 Philip Pullman (bleh)**

 ** _Chocolat_** **© 2000 Lasse Hallstrom**

 ** _Guardians of Ga'Hoole_ ****© 2003 Kathryn Lasky (the Gadfeathers are also part of the inspiration for the Gypsians)**

 ** _Deltora Quest_ © 2000 Emily Rodda (the Masked Ones—whose story is fleshed out in _Tales of Deltora_ )**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

"So what's your hometown like?"

Yami, whom Teana had posed the question to, tossed his head back and laughed. "What makes you think I'm not a native of Delvaire?" he asked.

Teana and he were walking down the streets of Delvaire, their eventual destination somewhere near the river—he was being purposefully vague on the destination, prompting her change of subject. "Everyone I know that's lived here all their lives has a certain mentality to them: Commoners are not to be taught magic, it's only for the Magicians. _You_ come sweeping in teaching anyone who'll listen magic, so I know you didn't grow up around here, or in the Capitol—you would have been an extremist in the _other_ direction, if that were the case."

"I have an _extremely_ open mind," he told her.

"That explains it."

"It does?"

"Certainly—it's so open that your brain fell out."

"Ah."

They walked on in silence for a few minutes.

"I come from a little vale-village farther up the Ridge Mountains," he told her. "It's called Hallowven, after the first Head Mage Hallowen, who also came from there." He smiled down at her. "My sister, Emily Van Dort, _nee_ Skellington, researched our family tree once; we're related to him, apparently."

"That must be thrilling."

Yami shrugged. "I don't find it all that fascinating—it doesn't matter where you came from, it matters what you do with yourself."

"That's a nice little pearl of wisdom."

"I have my moments." He tilted his head down towards her. "So what about you?"

"Born and raised here," Teana said shortly. "Had a very average life and worked a bunch of jobs until I met you."

"Is that a good thing?"

She tilted her head so it rested against his chest; his heartbeat was steady and comforting. "I'll let you know."

*/*\\*

Yami had come home at noon, having blown through every single test the Administration had thrown at him. He had exceeded expectations in every possible way, showing that he was ready for the highest sort of magic they could teach.

Needless to say, he was walking on air. Literally, as another demonstration of his skills.

"Yami," his mother, Jenna, said, upon walking into the living room and seeing her eldest son walking around on the ceiling. "Get down from there. I don't want to be listening to the teleradio and wondering how footprints got on my ceiling."

"Sorry mom," Yami said, performing a mid-air flip and landing softly on his grandfather Skelton's recliner, popping it out into a sitting position and kicking back upon it. "I just can't wait to see what I'll be learning next—this'll be fun."

Jenna Montgau kept her thoughts to herself—she knew Yami was excited, but she also knew that the chances of the Administration teaching him something he didn't already know was slim to none.

She remembered when he was born, how she was absolutely certain that he would exceed everyone's expectations. After all, she _knew_ that everyone thought Gregor Montgau had married into mud. But Yami had done so much more than what even she had hoped—too much, in fact.

Secretly, she feared that the Administration felt so too.

"Mom! I'm home!"

Jenna saw her younger son run into the living room, then float up to the ceiling, as though held there by static cling.

"Yami, let your little brother down," Jenna chided. " _Gently."_

Yuki landed on the couch with a bounce. "Cool!" he exclaimed. "Will you teach me that?"

"Maybe," Yami said, still basking in his own excellence. "I did tell you I would need a challenge."

"Yami, be nice to your brother," Jenna said, rolling her eyes as she brought two pails over. "Here—go down to the river and see if you can't catch some fish for dinner. And don't drown each other, _please_."

"Right mom!" they chimed—and then they were off, ready for a miniature adventure.

Jenna went to the front door—still open; the boys hadn't shut the door behind them—and sighed. Her sons….The most powerful Magicians in a millennium.

She sincerely hoped not.

*\\*/*

"I hear banjo music," Teana announced.

"So do I; we're close," Yami said, steering her down a gently sloping brick road and through a small copse of trees.

The road opened up into a brick circle by the river, revealing a well-cared for dock loaded with rafts. Around the circle were various little camps with people garbed in sensible clothes with bits and bobs attached, milling about….

Yami was chuckling. "Easy, Miss Gardenier—what's gotten into you?"

Teana was clutching Yami's arm hard. "Gypsians," she breathed. "What are we doing here?"

Yami gently peeled her hands away, smiling all the while. "You're going to have to unlearn a few things Delvaire has taught you over the years—trust me: these people are just as nice and just as entertaining as the Masked Ones."

Teana glanced at them, then back at Yami, who was still smiling. It wasn't a cruel smile or a pleasant smile—she was surprised to recognize the emotion behind it though: gentle affection mixed with actual caring.

She slowly returned the smile. "So are you going to introduce me to your friends?"


	15. Fish Fry

**Chapter 15, everybody! In which fishing is discussed….Sorry about the delay on this one, by the way—we just got home from vacation, and these past few days have been hectic. We'll be back to our regularly scheduled program next week, though.**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Maybe. :)**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Bummer….That sounds like Georgia, actually (the state, not the country). And neither have I—my experience with Middle Earth has been limited to the movies and the book** ** _the Hobbit_** **for the time being….It's not for lack of trying, though. Ah, the beauty of Spring weather….**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh! Gx_ ****© 2004 Kazuki Takahashi**

 _ **The Nightmare Before Christmas**_ **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Criminal Minds_ ****© 2005 Jeff Davis (the other side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _His Dark Materials_** **© 1995 Philip Pullman (bleh)**

 ** _Chocolat_** **© 2000 Lasse Hallstrom**

 ** _Guardians of Ga'Hoole_** **© 2003 Kathryn Lasky**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Fishing could be very exciting or very sedate, depending on how one approached it.

They stayed within sight of the main dock, as per their parents' rule, but they weren't anywhere near the beaten path.

Yami and Yuki were in a clump of trees hanging above the river, dangling lines for fish. They had it down to a science now, and each line had a different insect speared on a hook, just barely touching the river. They already had one bucket-full of fish, and another rapidly on the way.

"Think we should try for some crabs?" Yuki asked as he pulled up another fish.

"We don't have any place to put them," Yami told him.

Yuki opened his mouth, probably to suggest magicking up a bucket, when a voice called out "Look! A pair of Kingfishers, up in the tree!"

Both boys looked as one to see Kels by the bank, watching them fish. She had a fishing pole and a book with her, obviously planning on the more sedate approach to fishing. Yami and Yuki, being boys, were more about action.

"Hello, Kels," Yami called. "Come for the leavings?"

Kels stuck her tongue out at Yami, obviously more than a little irritated at his implication. "No, jerk—I'm here to fish."

"You look like you're here to read," Yuki observed.

Kels hefted the book. "Yes, well, the fish don't bite if they think you're paying attention."

Yami scoffed as Kels threw her line out. She addressed him again as she settled in for the long haul.

"So? Any word?"

"About?" Yami asked, feigning ignorance.

"Your promotion to resident head hot-shot," Kels replied, rolling her eyes.

"Not yet—they're still evaluating my current level of magic, and when they're done, _then_ I get promoted."

"How long will that take?"

"I don't know," Yami said, shaking his head. "Meantime, I can't tell you how nervous I am."

"You? Nervous?" Kels and Yuki started laughing.

"I'm only human," Yami said primly, putting one hand on his chest.

"You'd never know it, to listen to you," Kels jabbed. Her line suddenly jerked, and conversation was cut to a minimum as she excitedly reeled her fish in.

"All right!" Look at that baby!" she exclaimed, holding up a fish that was about the length of her forearm.

"For Commoners it has to be twenty inches," Yami called.

She cut him a glare. "You had better be kidding, or I swear I'll throw this fish at you and knock your magic butt into the river."

Yami grinned. "Of course I'm kidding—who would make up a stupid rule like _that?_ "

*\\*/*

Yami had assured Teana of the pleasantness of the Gypsians, but that still didn't stop her from staying mighty close to his side.

They hadn't taken much notice in the two coming from town, but as they neared, some began to look up. She recognized some forest-dwelling Hippies mixed in, talking and trading with the Gypsians.

But once Yami had reached the edge of the brick circle, a raucous greeting arose, which he heartily returned. Teana forced a grin and tried to think of something pleasant.

"Remember, you agreed to give them a try," Yami told her in an undertone.

"Right, right," Teana replied through gritted teeth. "I'll be fine so long as—oh man, here comes one now."

Yami rolled his eyes as one of the fisher-Gypsians came hustling up to them.

"Ho, such a one!" the fisher-Gypsian declared heartily, spiky hair framing his dark face.

"It's nice to see you too, Mako," Yami said. "May I introduce you to Miss Teana Gardenier? Teana, this is Mako—he likes fish."

"Such a pleasure to meet you!" Mako exclaimed, sticking his hand out for Teana to shake.

"It's nice to meet you too," Teana said, gingerly shaking his hand. "You don't have to yell, by the way."

Mako shook his head. "Sorry—we ran into a squall last week that lasted for three days. I'm lucky I can still hear after all that wind and rain."

"The mountains must have swallowed up most of it," Yami said. "We only got a shower."

Mako was about to reply when a smaller Gypsian ran up, clad in piebald colors. "Hey, Yami!" he called.

Mako turned to him with full-blown irritation on his face. "Rikko, you said you'd let _me_ handle it."

"Handle what?" Yami asked.

"We got a notice saying that there were new fishing regulations," Mako said, with a sour look on his face.

Yami waved that away irritably, like he was disposing of a fly. "Ignore those dumb Administrators," he ordered. "You know what fish to keep and which to throw back—what do you need _them_ to tell _you_ about fishing?"

Mako nodded and smiled brightly, obviously relieved. "See, that's what _I_ thought." He turned back to Rikko. "Go tell everyone, would you?"

"Sure," Rikko said, then run off, hands outstretched. "Hey everyone! Yami said those fishing regulations were hooey!"

"Not my exact words," Yami observed drily as a ripple of relief spread through the ranks. Mako clapped him on the side and followed after Rikko.

Yami glanced over to see Teana appraising him. "What?"

"You shouldn't refer to the Administration as 'dumb', even if you _are_ Head Mage."

"But they are!" Yami said, making that irritated wave again. "Whoever heard of regulating fishing? What's next—telling the farmers when and what to plant?"

"Be that as it may, I'd be willing to bet money that that statement will make its way back to them."

"Let it," Yami said firmly. "The day I have to apologize for speaking the truth is the day I'll hang up my cape."

Teana felt a shiver run down her spine at that. She shrugged it off, unsure what could have caused it.

But it had made the day suddenly seem colder.

*/*\\*

Their success at fishing had prompted Yami's parents to invite Greg's family over: his parents, Katherine "Kitty" and Edward Montgau; and his in-laws thanks to his brother's marriage, Abby O'Neal and Larry Finkelstein.

The differences between the two family branches were like night and day. Kitty and Edward were from the upper crust of Delvaire, while Abby and Larry were Hippies from the forest. Greg's brother Hotchner had married the Finkelstein's daughter, Dharma, while Greg had married Jenna Skelton from the Commoner section of town. Somehow, the whole thing worked.

And somehow, they always managed to shoehorn everyone into the dining room. Granted, Hotchner and Dharma weren't there, but all the grandparents were—Kitty, Edward, Abby, Larry, and Jenna's father Soguroku. With Yami, Yuki, Greg and Jenna, that made nine people sitting at a dining room table built for eight.

"So, I sent an owl up to the Capitol," Kitty said, as Greg put a filet of fish on her plate. "And I expect a response any day now."

"I still can't believe Hotch wasn't here for the Ball," Abby opined.

"Where were you two, by the way?" Ed asked, pointing his fork at Abby and Larry.

"We don't attend the Masquerade Ball," Larry said determinedly. "It's just another reason for the Delvaire fatcats to flaunt their money and waste food."

"So you watched through the windows," Yami said, smirking.

"Well, yeah," Larry said, giving Horus—who was walking up and down the dining room table—a scrap of his bread. "There was no way we were going to miss _you_. We didn't, did we?" he asked Abby.

"No, Larry, we didn't," Abby said, winking at Yami.

Abby and Larry specialized in healing herbs and charms. Unfortunately, they also liked to experiment, and Larry's short-term memory had bid him goodbye one day after he tried to improve a memory charm.

"I got a letter from Hotch the other day," Greg said, forking some tartar sauce on his filet. "He said he had some business up at Norkyew, but he was going to be here for the party. He says congratulations in advance, by the way," he told Yami.

"Remind me to tell him thank you in advance," Yami replied.

"So, Yuki, what are you learning up at school?" Edward asked. He pointed his fork at Larry. "And no running commentary from you."

"What?" Larry asked, indignant. "I'm just saying that a place like that—"

"Squanders youth," Jenna muttered.

"Brainwashes children," Soguroku continued.

"And militarizes kids for the Administration," everyone chimed in.

"We _know_ , Larry," Abby said, patting his hand.

"I'm learning maths," Yuki said, obviously unenthusiastic. "We're talking about birds in Biology, though, so that's good."

Horus took this as a sign to puff up and posture. His message was clear: _now this is a prime example of birdom._

Yami couldn't help but think of what Anzu had asked him. He had never really given it much thought before, but he had went with the image that had sprang to his head when he wanted to convert the old top hat he found into a bird. What kind of bird _was_ Horus, anyway?

He turned his attention back to the conversation, which had turned to the lack of magical subjects at Hallowed Fields.

"It is absolutely _wrong_ to be limiting our youth like that!" Larry said, thumping his hand on the table for emphasis.

"I agree with you, Finkelstein," Soguroku said, pointing.

"I—you do?" Larry asked. He was used to people disagreeing with him.

"Yes—what kind of school doesn't cover the basics?"

"Some of the upperclassmen are learning basic transfiguration," Yuki put in. "Bastion's upset because Weevil keeps turning his buttons into beetles."

"Yes, but what _year_ are those boys in?"

"They're on their fourth year—"

"Four years to learn how to turn buttons into beetles," Soguroku sighed. "I tell you, the world is a sight different from when _I_ was growing up."

"It is," Edward agreed. "It's because the _parents_ aren't spending enough time with their children. _Gregor_."

Greg made a face at the end of the table. Yami swallowed his laugh. Greg had connected more with his wonder Yami, while Yuki seemed to connect more with Jenna.

" _I_ blame Administrator interference," Larry put in.

"So Jenna," Kitty said, drawing the women out of the men's arguments. "What kind of refreshments were you planning on for the party?"

Yami listened to the conflicting conversations.

Man, he loved his family.


	16. Magical Learning

**Chapter 16, everybody! In which magical education is discussed….And then I look at the title I had written for this chapter and slap myself upside the head. _Duh!_**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes! Who indeed? Answer: The US Government—the fishing limit is based on real limitations passed by the Department of Fish and Wildlife (ready for a whopper? Rock Fish—which eat crabs, incidentally—have to clock in at 45 inches. And then they blame the dwindling crab population on commercial crabbers). Yes, he will—and no, she doesn't, does she? There are a lot of stigmas flying around Delvaire, and she was raised on all of them (something I fear I am not demonstrating properly yet…). Aha, thank you, I'm glad you liked the dinner banter! I would like to thank years of watching** ** _Dharma & Greg…_** **.And yes, that will be a mess—which should be happening in the next few chapters, I think….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Just in time, actually….It'll get underway eventually—you know how my pacing is (remember** ** _Chaos Avatar Desertion_** **?). Bleh, crazy weather—but at least it's getting** ** _warmer_** **where you are (we're going into winter here kicking and screaming—** ** _I'm not ready for cold!_** **T-T). Yeah—I try every winter to get into the trilogy (because when the movies first came out, we were visiting Montana, and now I irrevocably have them linked with snow). I fail every winter—which makes absolutely no sense, considering how much I love to read….Yes, back to work!**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 _ **The Nightmare Before Christmas**_ **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Hollow Fields_** **© 2007 Madeleine Rosca**

 ** _Harry Potter_** **© 1997 J.K. Rowling**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Hallowed Fields could be seen in the distance.

It commanded a good chunk of the southern horizon, with its main building and two dorms. It was a place to learn magic, unlike the Commoner's school Anzu attended.

She directed her attention back to the front of the class at the _hem_ ming of the teacher. Satisfied that her attention was properly directed, the teacher went back to her droning.

Anzu sighed and glanced back out the window. It wasn't fair to be cooped up inside in a smelly school when it was so nice out. They weren't even allowed to open the windows.

She blinked when she saw Yami walk by.

What was he doing? Didn't he go to school?

She was snapped out of her train of thought by the teacher snapping her ruler against her desk.

Anzu faced forward again, making a mental note to track Yami down later and ask him about his truancy.

*\\*/*

"Okay, next question."

"Go ahead."

Teana readied herself. "Where did you go to school?"

Yami Skellington made a waffling motion with his hand. "Here, there, everywhere," he told her. "You'd be surprised, but there aren't really any schools for magic around here."

Teana sipped her tea and watched the pedestrians walk by. She was seated in the outdoor section of a café with Yami, having just finished lunch and working on the after-meal tea.

"You're right," she said, lowering her drink. "I'm surprised at that. I thought there _were_ schools for magic."

"There are, but they're mostly overseas, in Europa. Hogwarts, for example."

Teana watched him closely, to see if he was making that up. "That was the name of the school?"

"It's one of the most prestigious schools of magic around—don't knock the name."

"And you attended?"

"Yes I did—and it didn't take me seven years either; I passed my N.E.W.T.s with flying colors at thirteen."

Teana gave him a half-lidded stare. "Pretend for a moment I didn't understand any of that."

"It's like," Yami waved his hand, searching for a word; Teana noted that he emoted a lot with his hands. "What would be a good non-magical equivalent?"

"You mean Commoner equivalent?" Teana asked, then waved his objection off. "There's the Standardized Aptitude Tests—S.A.T.s. We normally take them at seventeen—if we score in the high percentile, we graduate."

"It's the equivalent of that."

"You boggle the mind."

"Thank you," Yami said, taking a dignified sip of his tea; due to his jesting attitude, it came off as more comical. "Of course," he continued, gesturing with the hand holding the cup; some tea very nearly sloshed out. "There's still a dearth over here; most just homeschool or tutor their children in the magical arts. But I have a friend, Miss Weaver, who's working on making a school for magic right here in Delvaire."

Teana looked up at that. "Seriously? How come I never heard of it?"

Yami shrugged. "She's still working on funding and such; I'm helping with the funding, and her brother is going around to various towns and counties and such drumming up support and future attendees." He finished his desert and tea. "Would you like to meet her?"

"I wouldn't mind," Teana said, finishing hers as well. "It's either that or get back to work."

"You shouldn't work on a full stomach."

"Out of curiosity, how much work do _you_ actually do?"

"As little as possible," Yami said, waving it off. "I have a system that gets the most done in the least amount of time, so I don't waste all day working."

"What is it, delegating?"

"Close," Yami said, standing up and extending a hand to help her up. "Come, Miss Gardenier—if we're lucky, we'll catch Miss Weaver before she runs out on another school-related expedition."

*/*\\*

After her half-day, Anzu finally managed to track Yami down after some hunting, finding him heading for a corner store.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, seeing her. He seemed glad to see her, which struck her as a good thing.

"Hi," she said, running up to him. "What are you doing?"

"Running errands," he said, shrugging. "And you?"

"Helping you," she said, taking his hand and dragging him into the store.

Aberford's corner store was fairly tidy, but small and cluttered. Anzu waved at Aberford and then leaned to Yami.

"Why do you shop here?"

"What?" Yami asked. "Don't you like Aberford over there?"

"I do, but I figured you'd shop somewhere uptown."

"Nah, Ab has everything Mom needs. And besides, he's closer."

Anzu helped him scoop up some pectin and a pound of flour. "I saw you this morning."

"Did you?"

"Don't you go to Hallowed Fields?" Anzu asked. "I mean, that's where the magic students go."

Yami shook his head. "My brother does. I graduated five years ago."

Anzu ticked off the numbers on her fingers. "You were _twelve?_ "

"I'm very talented," Yami announced. "I tend to scare people that way."

She wasn't sure if Yami was being honest or cracking a joke. She decided to leave it.

"But your brother attends," she said instead. He nodded. "So why don't _you_ teach _him_?"

Yami grimaced. "Please, don't get him started. It's bad enough that he asks me three times a week—I don't need you to aggravate it and make it seven."

"I think it would be a good thing."

Yami kept grimacing. "Okay," Anzu said. "Would you teach me?"

"Of course."

"And what, pray tell, is the difference?"

Yami went blank-faced, realizing he had been caught. "All right, fine," he groused. "But don't expect me to be happy about it."

Anzu beamed at him, then at Aberford, who accepted the items and began ringing them up. "So where's Yuki? Normally he's glued to your side," Anzu asked.

"I already told you," Yami said, fishing in his pockets for money to avoid looking at her; ah, so she had scored a big point. "He's at Hallowed Fields."


	17. Hallowed Fields

**Chapter 17, everybody! In which we learn a bit more about the schooling in the Magicians' Realm….And happy Day of the Dead, by the way. :)**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Quite possibly so….Your question is actually about to be answered in this chapter, strangely enough….Haha, that's probably true—girls get spoilt, boys get toughened up. :)**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Hmmm….Yes, good things come to those who wait. This one probably feels slower because I'm only updating once a week and the chapters are longer on average than my other stories. Good news, though—major impetus occurs next chapter! :D**

 **References:**

 _ **Yu-Gi-Oh!**_ **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 _ **Dharma and Greg**_ **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 _ **Hollow Fields**_ **© 2007 Madeleine Rosca (relationships are adjusted somewhat in this)**

 _ **Harry Potter**_ **© 1997 J.K. Rowling**

 ** _Retribution Falls_** **© 2009 Chris Wooding (Crake and the tuning forks)**

 ** _Peanuts_** **© 1950 Charles Schultz ("Your brother pets birds on the head")**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Yami halted at a semi-Victorian house on the border between the Commoner and the magic sections of town. He rang the doorbell, a strange-looking device that resembled a large clockwork bird with a pulley, and waited.

Teana examined the house as they waited. It was three stories and fairly narrow, with gears and stovepipes and large windows on every conceivable surface. "Eclectic," she observed. "So let me guess: Miss Weaver and her brother are both Magicians."

"How'd you guess?" Yami asked, looking genuinely surprised.

Teana pointed at first the Commoner section, with its sensible houses with sensible designs, then at the Magician section, with its wacky and weird design choices on even stranger houses. "You magic people have a strange sense of what constitutes good housing."

Yami's retort was cut off by the door opening.

The lady who opened it was dressed nicely in a long-sleeved, puffy-shouldered, high-collared blouse and a long dark skirt that brushed the floor. She had orange hair pulled into a bun, with the exception of a flyaway strand that flopped forward, taking the edge off of her potentially harsh face, which was open and gleeful at the sight of Yami. She was a head taller than Teana, and her gray eyes sparked with interest when she saw Teana.

"Yami!" she said, gesturing for them to come in and accepting Yami's bow. "So good of you to visit." She took both of Teana's hands in her own. "And _you_ must be Teana—we've heard so much about you."

"Any of it good?" Teana asked drily.

"You'll be sainted upon your death," she responded, equally deadpan.

Teana had a feeling she'd like her.

"Miss Gardenier, this is Miss Agnes Weaver," Yami said, introducing them. He glanced around. "Is Doctor Bleak still a coat rack?"

"No," Miss Weaver responded, waving a hand. "He figured his way out of it about a week ago; he's off on one of his campaigns again."

"Who's Doctor Bleak?" Teana asked, deciding for that question over the coat rack one.

"He's my brother," Miss Weaver said. Upon seeing Teana's expression, she elaborated, "Our parents divorced when we were twelve; we were _quite_ the talk of Rosca Town." She gestured farther into the house. "Right this way please; you'll want to leave your coat with Rack—it's quite warm in here."

Teana started as a bunch of clockwork claws unfolded from the closet and extended for her coat. "If it's all the same, I'll keep it with me."

"Suit yourself."

Teana looked around the room; it was packed with clockwork devices. "What's with all these, uh, things?"

"Miss Weaver makes them," Yami supplied. "She's quite gifted with anything with gears."

"They're my specialty," Miss Weaver said.

A young boy stuck his head out of a door in the hall.

"Miss Weaver?" he called.

"Now Crake, I told you to keep practicing with those tuning forks," Miss Weaver scolded, turning to him. "You've got to have an ear for those if you hope to get anywhere."

The boy pouted, but ducked back in.

"Tuning forks?" Teana asked.

"You'd be surprised how much music relates with magic," Miss Weaver explained. "Certainly, magical theory covers a lot of ground—but here I am being rude. Sit down, and I'll get the oven to make some tea."

*/*\\*

Yuki sighed, staring out the window.

Hallowed Fields was nestled in a prime piece of real estate, with the forest on one side (and the river beyond), the tracks on another, and the town on the other. It was near enough to the train station that the various students who travelled miles to attend only had a twenty minute walk to complete the journey. It was a bastion of learning.

And Yuki was bored out of his skull.

His brother had breezed through every course they had to offer by the time he was twelve. Hallowed Fields seemed bound and determined, however, to keep Yuki until he was eighteen. Or maybe even longer.

Worst of all, they seemed like they were just rehashing the same things over and over again. Yuki wondered if they didn't have a quota that they had to fill every day, and that one day they just ran out of things to do.

His mind turned back to his family's conversation the other night. At moments like these, he could sympathize with his Grandpa Larry's opinion of the school.

A blackbird landed on the sill and looked at him, _chirrup_ ing hopefully.

Yuki waved and mouthed _maybe later_.

The bird hopped back and forth on the sill for a minute, examining the room, then flew off.

Yuki wished he could go with it.

The birds knew more than the teachers did, anyway.

*\\*/*

Tea had been made, and Crake—one of Miss Weaver's students, as it turned out—had been returned to his parents. Now Miss Weaver, Yami, and Teana were sitting in the drawing room, with Teana being treated to a lecture on magical theory by an enthusiastic Weaver.

"You see, magic is a lot more than just wand-waving and magic words," Miss Weaver said, stirring her tea. "It's more _feeling_ than fact. You can't exactly teach feeling in a classroom, however, so it ends up being the dry muttering and reading that most people think of."

"So if I thought I could do magic, I could, is that what you're saying?" Teana asked.

"Exactly," Miss Weaver said. "Some magic _does_ require some practical application, however, so those are the branches I'll be focusing on when making my classes."

Teana glanced at the sizeable stack of papers outlining said classes. Miss Weaver had spent the last two hours describing each one in loving detail. "So…when are you going to start this school?"

Miss Weaver's expression soured. "As soon as I can get it built—I had the perfect spot picked out, but the Administrators won't sign the papers—"

"That doesn't surprise me," Yami muttered. Then, at a conversational level, "Where are these papers, Miss Weaver? I'll sign them right now."

Miss Weaver beamed. "Aren't you the dear," she said, hopping up and pulling a small briefcase open. "I have the papers right here." She rushed back over with a sheath of papers and a pen. "You need to sign here, and here, and here—it's three separate properties, but I need the space."

"Can you do that?" Teana asked Yami.

"Sign my name?" Yami asked, scanning the papers as he accepted the pen. "I should hope so—I've been doing it all my life."

"I mean sign those papers—legally."

"I'm Head Mage, so yes." He scribbled his name out; Teana noted he was left-handed. "You asked how I got my work done—it involves a lot of trimming of time-wasting."

Teana saw his signature as he flipped the page up to sign the others, smooth and looping and tightly-spaced. "There, Miss Weaver," Yami said, finishing. "You are now the proud new owner of…" he scanned the papers again. "Twenty square miles."

Teana resisted giving a low whistle. "How big is this school going to be?"

"It's more like the Ancient universities," Miss Weaver said, accepting the papers and restoring them to safety once again. She pulled out some blueprints and brought them over. "It's going to be two dorms and a main school building, with an exercise field and a graveyard…."

Teana bit back her question about the graveyard and resigned herself to another two hours dedicated to learning about Hollow Fields.

*/*\\*

The bell rang, and the children ran out pell-mell. No one wanted to stay too long in Hallowed Fields if they didn't have to.

"See?" Yami said, pointing. "There he is."

"I believed you," Anzu told him.

Yuki paused in his exiting, however, to address a blackbird which had landed on a nearby branch. It chirruped at him, to which Yuki responded, then patted the bird on the head.

Anzu turned to Yami, unsure of what to make of the strange sight. "Your brother pets birds on the head," Anzu observed.

"I know," Yami replied, shrugging. "We're having him tested."

Yuki left the bird, which flew off. Yami pulled off a glove, put two fingers in his mouth and let out an ear-piercing whistle. "Yuki!" he called, waving. "Over here!"

"Could you warn me next time?" Anzu asked, rubbing her ears.

"Sorry," Yami said, shrugging as he pulled his glove back on.

"Hi Anzu!" Yuki chimed brightly, trotting over.

"Hi, Yuki," Anzu said. "What are you doing talking to birds?"

Yuki shrugged. "It's a thing."

Anzu looked to Yami, who shrugged. "That's all we've ever been able to get out of him on the subject."

"Yami can't even figure out how I do it," Yuki said, grinning. "It's a unique thing, I guess."

"I'll get it eventually," Yami muttered. Anzu could tell it bugged him not to know something potentially magic-related.

"Maybe Yuki will teach you, if you agree to teach him something in return," Anzu said.

" _Really?"_ Yuki said, ecstatic.

Anzu had to laugh at the glare she received from Yami.

*\\*/*

They waved goodbye to Miss Weaver and departed. Teana moaned when she saw how late in the afternoon it was.

"What?" Yami asked.

"I missed one job, and now I've got to run before I'm late for another—"

She tried to dash away, but Yami caught her hand and gently pulled her back. "Yami, I really do have to go," she chided.

"Before you do, could you at least tell me _why_ you have to work yourself into an early grave?" he asked.

"Because not everyone has a cushy job like _you_ ," she replied. "I have to pay for groceries, utilities, my apartment—"

"Well, that's easy to solve!" Yami said, smiling broadly and looking quite pleased with himself for figuring it out. "Why don't you come live with me?"

" _Do what?"_

"I'm pretty sure I asked—"

"I know what you asked," she said cooly, pulling her hand free. "I'll have you know I'm not that easy, _bucko_ —we've barely known each other for a month! Why would I move in with you?"

Yami shrugged, hands up in the air. "Why not? Trust me when I say that my house is big enough that you and I would never see each other, if that's what you want."

She tilted her nose in the air. "That's not the point—you're supposed to ask properly, after a proper amount of time—" The clock tower bonged. "I've got to go."

And she dashed off, leaving a bewildered Yami Skellington in her wake.

Good riddance, too.

After all, what kind of guy asked that sort of thing _that_ quickly? And that _casually,_ too? The nerve!

And how stupid was she, to almost say _yes_.


	18. Knowledge Forbidden

**Chapter 18, everybody! In which impetus happens….**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Good question—but for some reason, a lot of kids dislike going to school buildings; maybe it's the smell? Yes, so cute. ^v^ True—and it bugs the life out of Yami. :D Well, to be honest, she and he have known each other for** ** _maybe_** **a month—moving in together at that point is a bit abrupt, especially with the standards Delvaire has. That's good to know! I like them too. :)**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes, today's the day that something happens! :D**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 _ **The Nightmare Before Christmas**_ **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy**

 ** _Criminal Minds_** **© 2005 Jeff Davis**

 ** _Pirates of the Caribbean_** **© 2003 Gore Verbinski**

 _ **Guardians of Ga'Hoole**_ **© 2003 Kathryn Lasky**

 ** _Harry Potter_ ****© 1997 J.K. Rowling**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Yami awoke early that morning, excitement tingling along every nerve of his body. Today was the day. Today, the Administrators came back with their decision to promote him. He couldn't wait.

He slid open the window and sat on the roof, breathing in the clear morning air. There was no way, absolutely _no way_ , the Administrators wouldn't promote him. Not only was he knowledgeable about magic, he had the raw talent to apply to what he learned. By this time tomorrow, he would be applying that talent to new magic.

So if it was such a certain thing, why did he keep reassuring himself about it?

He heard movement and looked over to see Yuki climbing out the window as well.

"What are you doing up?" Yuki asked.

"Couldn't sleep," Yami replied simply; Yuki came over and sat beside him. They sat quietly for a few moments, looking at the nearby forest, until Yuki broke the silence again.

"Today's the day, isn't it?"

"Today's the day," Yami affirmed.

"And then you're going to be Head Mage when Dad retires."

"That was a bit of a jump, but yeah."

Yuki digested the notion. "Say, if you retire, does that mean I get to be Head Mage?"

Yami snorted. "No, you get to be Head of the Civil Branch, like Uncle Hotch is."

"What if I don't want to be like Uncle Hotch?"

"Well, we can't have _two_ Head Mages—it's never been done."

"Yeah," Yuki said, playing his toes against the shingles. "But since when has that ever stopped us?"

"Tell you what," Yami said, teasingly. "When I'm Head Mage, you can be one of my supporting magicians—Grand Mage, like Ravel."

That definitely appealed to Yuki. "Really?"

"Sure!" Yami said, nudging his younger brother. "Someone has to keep an eye on you!"

Yuki giggled and the silence returned, this one tinged with the camaraderie of brotherly love.

"Yami?" Yuki asked, breaking the silence again.

"Yeah?"

"It's a sure thing, isn't it?"

Yami blinked, then looked Yuki in the eye.

"Definitely."

*\\*/*

Well, Teana admitted, he _did_ at least ask properly. She received a formal letter the next day from Yami Skellington, requesting that she take advantage of his rather spacious house. She had replied thusly:

 _Dear Mr. Skellington:_

 _Thank you, but I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request._

 _Sincerely yours,_

 _Teana Gardenier_

 _PS: Means no._

She sent the letter via the owl that he had sent, which had startled her that morning when she spotted it on her windowsill. What had startled her more was when it had started _talking_.

"Hi!" it had chimed, voice muffled by the letter in its beak. "My name is Cory, and Yami asked me to give this to you." When she had taken the letter: "And he also asked me to stay for a bit, in case you wanted to send a return letter."

Hence, why she had wasted no time in sending the owl Cory on its— _his_ —way. No need for her neighbors to see she had obviously gotten a missive from a Magician—that was how rumors started.

Well, she reflected, pulling on her coat and heading out the door, maybe he would get the message.

*/*\\*

Yuki was helping his mom bake a celebratory cake for Yami. It was important. Cake always marked important events. Like birthdays.

Of course, his job seemed limited to sifting flour, but beggars couldn't be choosers.

"Yuki, quit glancing at the clock," his mom, Jenna, scolded. "They'll get here when they get here."

"Will everyone come?" Yuki asked.

"Not tonight," his mom said, mixing more ingredients and seemingly oblivious to the ones that got on her face. "I figure tonight'll be just us. We can do the big party tomorrow."

"What about Uncle Hotch and Aunt Dharma?"

"It's a whole three days from here to the Capitol—I don't think they'll be here tomorrow."

The door banged open. "Wow, they're home early," Jenna observed.

And then they both observed Yami storming by, heading straight for the back door. Yuki winced as it banged open and shut as well.

His dad, Greg, walked slowly in, a look of worry on his face. "What happened?" Jenna asked.

"Well…it's not good," Greg responded, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh no," Jenna said, taking a few paces toward her husband. "Wait—did he blow up Dr. Sumbinix? Please tell me that was it."

Greg looked at her, eyebrows knitted together. "That…is not a good thought. No, it's not that."

"What is it then?"

Greg stared at the back door his eldest son had stormed through. "They denied his promotion."

" _What?"_

This came out of both Jenna and Yuki's mouth. Greg and Jenna looked at Yuki, as though just realizing he was there.

"They can't not give Yami his promotion," Yuki mewled. "It's just—it's not…."

"It's not right," Greg finished. "They said he needed to take another year to mature," he said in an undertone to Jenna.

"That's ridiculous," Jenna said, waving a hand irritably. She shook her head, as though she realized this was obvious, and sighed as she ran her hand through her hair, leaving a smear of white flour through her dark locks. She glanced over at Yuki and waved him towards the door.

"Yuki, why don't you go outside and talk to your brother? I'll finish up in here."

Yuki nodded and headed out, with a single backwards glance towards his parents.

If anyone could sort out this mess, they could.


	19. Undeterred

**Chapter 19, everybody! In which things happen….**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Eh, yeah, Teana has some issues with relationships….Wow, that sounds like my parents (I think they took six months). Teana is sort of following my Mom's advice here of taking slow and waiting a year, following her head instead of her heart. Not exactly a bad thing sometimes, but it can be frustrating….And possibly. :)**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! No, he did not, because this Yami is not metaphysically aware. If he were, then it would save me a lot of hassle. As it is, I have to follow him around until he does something interesting. :| Don't worry about Maths—it's like Physics in a "bang your head against it until it clicks" sort of thing. And also, I hear artists don't do too hot with mathematics anyway, even though you** ** _do_** **need it for living (I remember having to study it with Dad for the entirety of my grade school career…I think it shaved years off of both our lives). If you're not, we'll just ape the new Frankenstein movie and have Daniel Radcliffe zap you back to life. :)**

 **References:**

 _ **Yu-Gi-Oh!**_ **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 _ **Dharma and Greg**_ **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Don't Starve_ ****© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say, pal, you don't look so good...")**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Yami was quite happy as he headed to work.

Granted, he was always generally upbeat, an attitude he had cultivated early on and made sure to keep as he aged. But the idea of Teana under the same roof as he! And Hephaestus and Vulcan and Kineil—they were living at his place now, since they had inadvertently blown up their apartment flat (he translated that as Heph and Vul exploding something they shouldn't have while Kineil watched).

But Teana coming to live with him was good news, he decided, even if he hadn't received her response yet, and nothing would ruin his good mood.

Although, he decided, upon spotting the Administration Building, that would be easier said than done.

He crossed the large cobblestone plaza—which in his opinion, would serve better as a park or a market or something that had more than just one fountain dead center—and headed for the large, intimidating doors of the Administration Building. Yay.

"How bad is it?" he asked one of the more sympathetic Administrators, who was busy walking quickly down the steps Yami was walking up.

"Did you take any aspirin before you came?" Maxwell, one of the newer Administrators, asked.

"Does it have anything to do with the way you're running down the steps?"

"It's a major contributing factor."

"And you're going to just let me walk into it?"

"I _did_ warn you."

Yami grabbed Maxwell's arm and began dragging him back up the steps.

"What are you doing?" he squawked, having to walk backwards up the steps.

" _We_ are going in there and sorting out whatever mess the Administrators just made."

*/*\\*

Jenna waited until Yuki left before rounding on her husband.

"All right, spill: what's the real reason?"

Greg held up his hands. "I don't know."

"Yes you do."

He sighed and put both hands on the back of his neck. "Yes I do," he muttered.

"So what is it?"

He started pacing back and forth in the living room. "Well, I think that they think…that maybe they suspect…that maybe they know…about your family tree."

Jenna gritted her teeth to keep from showing emotion. "We should have kept his hair cut short," she said finally.

"I don't think that would have helped," Greg said. "Yami's always been prodigious—they've always had their suspicions."

"And you didn't think to mention this?"

"No!" Greg exploded. "Why should I? You know what they would do!" He strode over to her and took her hands in his. "I never told anyone because I know what would happen to you. Be glad that holding Yami back a year is all they can do on suspicion."

Jenna glanced at the back door. "You'd better tell that to your sons, then."

Greg shook his head. "It's better if they don't know."

"So being held back with no reason is better?"

"Trust me on this. Besides, what they don't know won't hurt them."

*\\*/*

William Maxwell Carter had a policy: when things started going south, get out of dodge.

It was one reason he picked shadow magic as his specialty—it enabled a quick getaway. He had even managed to discover a few self-sustaining limbos, while he was at it.

It was this shadow magic that had prompted Yami Skellington to recommend him for the position of Administrator.

He could kill him for that.

He could also kill Kineil, as apparently it was _her_ idea.

But there were benefits to this job, Maxwell reflected, gnawing on his cigar.

And watching Yami Skellington practically blow up at the Administrators had to be on the top ten list.

"Are you _insane?"_ Skellington stormed, looking a whole lot bigger than his skinny seven-seven frame suggested. "You're proposing _limiting_ magic? How _ridiculous_ can you possibly _be_!?"

"It's for the Commoners' protection—" Administrator Sumbinix began.

 _"Bull!"_ Skellington spat—wow, that was almost a curse. "The average person doesn't know _enough_ about magic!"

"He would know," Maxwell heard another Administrator mutter.

"I _would_ know," Skellington said, crossing his arms belligerently. "Because unlike _some_ people, I actually bother with _talking_ to my constituents."

That was a lot of big words from Skellington, Maxwell thought. He must be building up to something.

"Problems come from ignorance," Skellington continued. "Hiding magic from people won't solve whatever problems you think are going on—it'll just make them worse. If you want to _help_ somebody, give them classes! Teach them safety! But you are _not_ taking magic from people, and that's _final!"_

"And what are you going to do about it?" Sumbinix shot, standing with his hands on the desk. Gee, how cliché.

"He _is_ Head Mage," Maxwell muttered, before common sense could intervene.

Skellington tilted his head and glanced back at Maxwell. "Thank you Max," he said, sounding genuine.

"Don't call me _Max_ ," Maxwell muttered, as there was no point in outright telling him; it was force of habit now.

Skellington, meanwhile, had turned back to the Administrators.

"As Head Mage, I officially veto this motion and command that it be removed, erased, never thought of again, and hexed for good measure," he said, normally jovial voice deep with barely constrained anger. Maxwell felt the need to crawl away and hide. "And all of you—take a day off and actually see what Delvaire is all about before you go making laws you don't understand."

And Skellington turned on his heels and marched out, ire radiating off of him in waves. Maxwell literally froze as he walked by, attempting to avoid his attention. He needn't have bothered.

Unfortunately, he had attracted other attention.

But Maxwell could have laughed at the Administrator's collective ire—they didn't nearly match Skellington's output. "Two things," he said, holding up two fingers. "One: I didn't tell him. And two: I told you so."

And with that, he utilized his shadow travel for a speedy getaway.

 _Good riddance,_ he thought, stepping out of a shadow in a downtown alley.

And yet he couldn't shake the quiet niggling doubt that this wasn't over.

Not by a long shot.

*/*\\*

Yuki found his brother standing in the center of the lawn, facing the mountains. His chest was heaving, like he was trying to control his emotions.

Yuki very carefully came up behind him, then around to one side. "Yami?"

"I don't want to talk right now."

Yuki winced at the hurt in Yami's voice; it had no business _being_ in his voice. He kicked at a tuft of grass and thought of how best to raise his brother's spirits.

Unfortunately, all he could think of was to ask "What are we going to do now?"

Yami was quiet for the longest time.

"I don't know about _you_ ," Yami said slowly, through gritted teeth. "But I'll be _hanged_ if I'm going to wait around for a year and stagnate."

Yuki looked at him carefully. "What are you going to do?"

Yami looked down at him, his face a hard picture of determination.

"I'm going to keep pursuing knowledge. _With,_ or _without_ the Administrators' approval."

It was that moment, in that twilight-touched moment in their backyard, that Yuki sensed that their lives would change.

He just didn't know how much.


	20. Nighttime Discussions

**Chapter 20, everybody! Which actually didn't exist until last week—when reading chapter 19 and the original chapter 20, I realized I hadn't really answered Yami Skellington's half of the current story arc, and the result was a tad abrupt. So have some Skellington stuff!**

 **By the by, Teana's request here is based upon my own Mom's counseling—a year is enough to show what kind of person someone can be.**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Too true—one lie leads to another, and after a while it can be hard to keep them all straight. Maybe….And yeah—the hair is too obvious. XD**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes! Go Yami go! :D If only…but that would require interdimensional postage, and I don't think the mailman is quite up to that. Well, it's either that or be bored…and ouch, quadratics sounds like it** ** _hurts_** ***looks it up* Hmm…it looks like physics and algebra had a kid….Ooh, lucky you—except for neglecting your art. Doodle in the margins! But seriously, kudos to you for being on that fence—one of the benefits of a Ph.D. is that I don't have to take math every year anymore (but I had to take psychology—give me math any day over** ** _that_** **). Ooh, painful—but at least you should be done by now! Success! :D**

 **References:**

 _ **Yu-Gi-Oh!**_ **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 _ **Dharma and Greg**_ **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 _ **Pirates of the Caribbean**_ **© 2003 Gore Verbinski**

 ** _Guardians of Ga'Hoole_** **© 2003 Kathryn Lasky**

 _ **Holes**_ **© 2003 Andrew Davis (I was listening to the song "If Only" while I was writing this chapter)**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Yami came home, collecting his mail on the way in. Not that there was much, but he needed a distraction after—

He blinked at a folded piece of paper that simply bore his name. She had answered! Cory must have left it in the mailbox, he reflected as he unfolded the paper to see what it said.

"Oh," he said, sagging slightly upon reading the brief missive.

A while later saw him in his study, staring out the window and trying to come up with a good response to her reply. He twiddled the pen idly in his fingers, trying to come up with more than just _Dear Ms. Gardenier_.

It probably should have occurred to him that she would say no.

He heard footsteps, looked up in time to see Kineil walk by and do a double-take. "What happened?" she asked. "Your dog die?"

"Do you think I'm too forward?" he asked—he figured it was better than asking _what dog?_

She blinked. "I think you answered your own question. Why, what happened?"

"Ms. Gardenier is disinclined to acquiesce to my request. Means 'no,' I'm told."

"You're too forward," Kineil declared, pointing at him before walking off.

"Hmm," he noised, tapping the pen against the desk.

Well…maybe he could use that to his advantage.

He wrote his response and flew off to deliver it.

*/*\\*

Jenna lay awake that night, staring at the ceiling.

Sometimes, she regretted ever meeting Greg. Not that she would have it any other way, but she regretted the complications that came with it. If only they could have gone with her idea and run off together—she still had Gypsian friends she could call on, she was certain.

"Are you okay?"

She rolled a bit so she looked at Greg, watching her in the dark. "I can't sleep."

Greg's expression turned grim. "I can guess why."

"You should have told them his magic came from _your_ side of the family."

"Yes, I should have."

"And we should have kept his hair cut short."

"We did—remember that? Remember how we had to do it every other week?"

"You should have told the Administrators to shove off."

"I should have," he agreed. "It's not like he's…I don't know. I don't know _what_ goes on in their heads."

"He's not evil."

"I know."

"You shouldn't have married a Commoner."

"You're not common."

She took a deep breath and sighed. If only….

He put a hand on her shoulder and pulled her close. "If I thought I could get away with it, I'd fix everything. And you could use your _actual_ family name."

"That'd be nice," she said, feeling a bit more secure nestled against him.

"Maybe someday."

"Maybe."

Although, she reflected as she finally drifted off, it would take a ridiculous upheaval to get the Administrators to admit they were wrong.

And then there was a thousand years of history and injustice to make up for.

*\\*/*

Teana looked up at the tapping on her window and groaned. Great, he had written a response.

And had sent it back using the most ridiculous bird she had ever seen, if it could be called a bird. Whatever it was, it was bigger than the owl from before, with sleek black feathers, tall ear tufts, and big yellow eyes. She wasn't sure if it was supposed to be a crow or an owl, and settled on it being predatory at least. Definitely hawkish.

It tapped on the window again.

"Fine, I'm coming," she groused, putting her book aside and flinging her covers off. She didn't bother with her robe, figuring a nightgown would be enough for a bird.

She opened the window and took the letter from the bird-thing. "Let me guess, you talk too?" she asked it.

"I don't know—to hear you talk, that's when I—"

Teana shrieked and slapped the bird off the windowsill, sending it falling off with a squawk. It wasn't bad enough that it was _another_ talking bird—she had recognized that voice!

" _Yami!?"_ she squawked in surprise, before realizing what she had done. She looked out the window then ducked back in and ran for her robe when she realized that she was still only in her nightgown. _Gaak!_

By the time she had thrown it on and tied the ribbon, the bird that was Yami Skellington had flown back up and flopped on the sill, thoroughly wiped out.

"Get into trouble," he finished lamely.

"What—how—you couldn't just _call?"_ she decided on finally, after discarding most of her questions.

"I tried that after the Masquerade Ball," Yami said, finally sitting up. "Apparently, our networks aren't linked."

"That should tell you something."

"That they should be?"

"What do you want?"

He stood up, looking a little ridiculous as he shuffled a foot—it wasn't something one normally associated with a bird. "I uh, wanted to apologize for being so forward." He paused, as though realizing something. "Actually, I'm being forward now."

"I'm glad you realize that. This couldn't wait until morning?"

He shrugged. "I…really wanted to ask you what would make this work."

She sat on the edge of her bed, considering the odd bird on her windowsill. "Before I address that—what kind of bird is that supposed to be?"

He puffed up a bit and turned around, so she could get a good look at him. "This is a Hagsfiend—they're powerful magician's familiars. They can do spells themselves and have a powerful gaze—like Kineil's, only less…Kineil-y."

"And you can turn into one."

"Of course."

"And yet you struggle with a simple concept like a relationship between us not working."

"Why wouldn't it work? And please, stop evading the question."

"Only this once."

"And at your 'noon job,' and at the club…."

"All right, fine," she said, waving him off. "It can't work because I'm a Commoner and you're a Magician."

"The only difference between me and you is that you don't know any magic yet, and that's easily remedied: I'll teach you."

"Yami," she said, standing up and walking over. She scooped him up, hands under his wings, surprised at the weight—and held him at eye level. "A bird can love a fish, but at the end of the day it wouldn't work because they come from two different worlds. A fish can't live in the air."

"Actually, there is such a thing as an air-breathing fish," he told her, seeming to enjoy being held. "And there are flying fish, too. And swimming birds."

"Goodbye, Yami."

And with that, she flung him out the window.

He recovered quickly, coming back to the sill. "Maybe I went too fast—I admit that. What about a relationship at your pace? We get to know each other better, and I stop being so…forward."

This offer she considered.

"Don't stop being forward," she said finally. "And fine, we can do that. You give me a year."

"A _year?"_ Yami asked, sounding stunned.

"One year," she said, sitting next to the windowsill. "That's twelve months. In one year, I'll know what kind of person you are, and _then_ I'll make my decision."

"I'll be the same sort of person I am now."

"You're a bird right now."

"You _do_ think I'm birdbrained."

"I do."

"But why a year?"

"Because you aren't my first beau," she told him. "And they're always nice at first. But you can't keep up an act for a year—sooner or later, I'll see how you really are."

"I am what I am."

"You're a bird right now."

"Now's a bad example."

"Good night, birdbrain."

"Can we do breakfast tomorrow?" he asked hopefully as she went to shut the window.

"Will I be eating it with a bird?"

"I'll wear my tie."

"We'll see."

"I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Good night, Yami."

"Good night."

He flew off, singing.

She held the window open, listening. _If only, if only, the woodpecker sighed_ was all she caught before he flew too far for her to hear.

She closed the window, went back to bed, picked up the forgotten letter and read it.

She blinked as she read the missive.

He had been expecting her wanting to wait and had agreed, before they even talked about it.

She folded the letter carefully, put it on her nightstand, and turned off the light before flopping back into bed.

"This is going to be a long year," she decided finally.


	21. Knowledge Hunt

**All right, chapter 21, everybody! In which I feel that technology is evil….And this is the last update for the month, ironically (unless you're in Australia, in which case this is the first update of the month).**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! I** ** _know!_** **I wouldn't have believed it either *bricked* All right, where are these bricks coming from?...Ah, thank you, I'm glad you like them—sometimes I worry I don't write witty enough, so it's nice to know you liked their little conversation. :) Heheh, yes, that was a bit of silliness that came from wondering why they let his hair grow like that—I figure it grows like Harry Potter's did. And I'm going to have to draw that now….And yes indeed.**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes, go relationship, go! I'm more concerned with the fact that it'll probably take a literal year….I need to pick up the pace on my writing….Yes, that might be just a bit beyond the conventional postman. Ooh! Glad I never had to take that (Dad and I both wouldn't have survived). Speaking of, congratulations on surviving! Spend your time off in good health! :D And play video games.**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment (brief passing reference)**

 ** _Septimus Heap_** **© 2005 Angie Sage (Benjamin Heap and his…retirement)**

 _ **Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End**_ **© 2007 Gore Verbinski ("I'd vote for you")**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the loudmouth girl in the story)**

"I need to know something."

Yami Skellington glanced up at Teana when she said that. "Certainly," he said. "What would you like to know? Transmogrification, animating…." He held up the paper he had been perusing. "The morning's headlines?..."

"I want to know where you got that _ridiculous_ tie," Teana said, pointing at said ridiculous tie. "It's been bugging me every time I look at it, and I just spent breakfast staring at it. Now where did you get it? _Why_ did you get it?"

Yami looked at his tie. "Stop bothering Miss Gardenier," he scolded.

"Are you _talking_ to your _tie?_ "

"Where I got it and how is actually a funny story," Yami said, scratching the side of his face and ignoring her question. "And a bit of a long one—I'd tell you, but I _know_ you have _someplace_ you want to run off to and get away from me—"

"Consider my side," Teana pointed out. "If you dealt with someone like yourself, wouldn't _you_ want to get away?"

"On the contrary, I find myself to be quite entertaining."

"You strike me as the sort to talk to yourself when you're alone."

"That's more Wilson's—"

"The tie," Teana prompted, steering the conversation back into the realm of relevancy.

"Oh, right," Yami said, settling back down in his seat and gesturing to the waiter for more coffee. "Well, it was a few years ago…."

*/*\\*

Yami woke up early and readied himself for a full day.

"So what are you going to do?" Yuki asked.

"I'm pretty sure I told you last night," Yami replied, checking his hair before putting Horus on.

Yuki seemed relieved that Yami was back to his old attitude. "Yeah, but _how?_ You've read everything you've got access to."

"I'm sure there's _something somewhere_ that I can get a hold of," Yami replied, heading down the stairs. "If all else fails, I'll find some chunk of magic and figure out how to reverse-engineer it."

"And if you can't do that?"

"Well, that's where trial and error comes into play."

"Isn't that the part where most Magicians get into trouble?"

"That's why it's last on the list," Yami said, scowling. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some hunting to do."

Yuki trailed after him. "What about breakfast?"

In response, Yami twirled a finger.

An apple from the fruit basket floated out of the kitchen and drifted after him.

"Cool," he heard Yuki mutter from behind.

*\\*/*

It had been about a year since Yami had returned to Delvaire after his walkabout. Of all the places, he liked it best. It was the reason he had his house built there—he visualized himself settling down there. At least until he got the urge to travel again.

In the meantime, the people he had met on his journeys had come, visited, and ended up staying. Apparently, Delvaire's charm wore off on them too. No matter—Yami was looking forward to lots of parties.

He was strolling through town and thoroughly congratulating himself on fobbing Kineil off on Hephaestus and Vulcan—an action that had benefited himself but would probably wear on those three soon—wandering around with a vague notion to buy a paper or something like that. He'd know when he got there.

As it was, he found a different distraction.

"What's going on?" he asked the nearest person, eyeing the crowd in front of the Administration Building.

"The Head Mage stepped down," the guy said, sparing him a glance. "They're holding nominations right now for the next Head Mage."

"Wow," Yami said, picturing the former Head Mage, Benjamin Heap—Yami bet that he had left a note and then headed for the forest to spend retirement as a tree. Or he had left no note and they had just figured it out—shape-shifting Magicians were notoriously absent-minded, as they kept shifting from one shape to another until finally settling down on a shape they preferred. It was almost never human. Ah, the risk of using a brand of magic held over from the Age of Chaos. It really needed a capable hand to pull it off.

"Anybody nominated yet?" Yami asked.

"A few," the guy grumbled. "Nobody who'd be an improvement."

Yami laughed. "Well, who would _want_ the job?" he asked. "Think of the paperwork, the demand, the—"

"I nominate Yami Skellington!"

Conversation in the square died. All eyes turned to Kineil Wicks, leaning on the nominator's table and leveling a death-stare at the poor sap behind it, courtesy of her freshly-claimed Hawks' Eyes.

Yami finally found his voice.

"What?" he croaked.

"I'd vote for you," the guy he had been conversing with said.

"Excuse me," a soft, pudgy-looking guy said, in a voice that made Yami want to take a nap. "I don't believe I've seen you around before—who are you?"

Kineil tilted her chin up at him. " _My name,_ " she said slowly, in a voice that carried. "Is _Kineil Wicks._ And after listening to you talk and reading what you have up here, _that guy_ —" here she pointed directly at Yami. "Is the best candidate for the job."

Yami hustled over. "Excuse me for a moment—I need to have a chat with my promoter friend here. _What are you doing?"_ he hissed at Kineil.

"They want the best magician for the job," Kineil said simply. "You're the best magician I know."

"Your faith in my abilities is touching," Yami said. "But I don't _want_ the job."

"You're also the best guy for the job."

"I am not!"

"I'm sorry, but have you seen who else is running?"

"Um," the man behind the table noised. "Ah, since she nominated you—technically, you're in the running now."

 _"What?"_

Yami noticed he wasn't the only one to squawk at that—the pudgy man did too.

"Congratulations, Mr. Skellington," Kineil said, shaking his hand. "You're officially a politician! Say hi to your constituents!"

Yami glanced around; he was suddenly made painfully aware of how few people he knew there in Delvaire.

"Uh, hello," he noised.


	22. Tie Talk

**Chapter 22, everybody! In which we find out just where that tie comes from….And wow! This has to be the shortest chapter yet! :O**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes! I wouldn't be surprised if he** ** _did_** **enchant it so it talks. :D Yeah, I kind of need a better segue-way for when one of the characters is recounting a story….Yes, he was talked into it….And yes! If your name is Yami, then trouble finds you no matter where you go. :)**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Too true, too true….And thank you for clarifying that in your review on** ** _The Frost King_** **—for a moment I thought I got ahead of you somehow. *-* Yes, it should keep everyone busy (myself included). I am devoutly thankful that I did—although after hearing how my country ranks worldwide in the mathematics business, I'm somewhat regretting it (and then my brain reminds me of the pain I had with plain old physics). Yes! Go! Live your dream! And buy** ** _Grim Fandango Remastered_** **(I, personally, am going to try to get into** ** _Minecraft_** **and** ** _Dwarf Fortress_** **over the holidays—I'm just a little iffy about it because I have to purchase it from their websites instead of off of Steam).**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 _ **Skulduggery Pleasant**_ **© 2007 Derek Landy**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

The first natural place to go hunting was the library.

As a matter of fact, Yami was sorely tempted to go to the library first, and see Anzu.

But he knew that if he went there first, he'd stay there the entire day, and probably not get anything done. So, he turned his footsteps to the northern part of town, heading uptown and to the Administration Building.

He took a more winding approach, knowing that his appearance at the Administration Building's library so soon after being denied advancement might cause a stir. What a pity he didn't know any self-transmogrifying spells. But those had been denied to him.

He huffed and glanced around. The stores here had large plate-glass windows showing their wares, and the road had nicely even cobblestones. Every ten feet or so, a tree stretched to the sky, shading the road at appropriate points. It was early enough that he was walking a fairly empty street.

He inhaled, breathing in the warm summer air. It helped.

And it enabled him to clear his head enough to think of something else to try that day.

He turned his attention to the first of the little consignment shops, one of many in town. They were always fun to poke around, and occasionally they gave up nice little gems.

Like old books.

 ***\\*/***

"Vote for Skellington!"

"Presenting Skellington for Head Mage!"

"Vote for the one with the hair!"

"Will you two _stop?"_ Yami hissed.

"But this is the best fun I've had all week," Skulduggery tossed back. " _You_ as Head Mage—who _nominated_ you?"

"That would be me," Kineil said.

"You failed to mention that when you told me he was running."

"I wanted to see your reaction first."

"I do have _wonderful_ reactions," Skulduggery agreed, opening the door for her. The bell at Bespoke Tailors dinged merrily, alerting the proprietor to his customers.

"Ah, Skulduggery, good to see you!" Ghastly Bespoke declared. "And look there—our recently nominated Head Mage in the making!"

"Ha ha, you're not funny," Yami Skellington declared.

"Then it's a good thing I went into clothes. What do you all need?"

"I'm seeking a new suit," Skulduggery declared, glancing about. "Or maybe an ascot—I've decided I like saying that word. Any suggestions?"

"Oh, look at that!" Kineil chimed, pointing at a higher shelf.

Skulduggery glanced up. "Ah. Ghastly, I don't want that tie."

"That tie wouldn't suit you," Ghastly agreed.

"Well, I didn't say it wouldn't _suit_ me—I can make anything look good. I just don't want it."

Yami could certainly understand why. It gave him the impression of a bat or a cat, with its pointy spread at least as wide as a man's shoulders. It was a monochromatic nightmare.

"I had an inspired moment," Ghastly declared, indicating the tie. "I like it, personally."

"I do too," Kineil said. "Hey, maybe Yami should wear it—it'd make an impression."

"Like being seven-seven with wild hair doesn't do that already," Yami muttered.

"So you admit your hair is wild."

"I'll admit it's unique."

"It's wild," Ghastly said.

"Spoken like a man jealous of another's follicles," Skulduggery said.

"I'll remember that when you're bald."

"Please—my follicles are too strong for that."

"Can I see the tie, Ghastly?" Kineil asked, pointing.

"Sure," Ghastly said, taking the tie off the shelf and handing it to her.

"Thanks." She kicked a stool over to stand on and held the tie against Yami's neck. "What do you boys think?"

"It suits you, Yami," Ghastly said.

"It takes a certain man to wear that tie," Skulduggery agreed.

"I'd rather not," Yami said.

"I'd rather you did," Kineil insisted.

" _No."_

"Tell you what," Ghastly said. "I'll give you that tie as a victor's present."

"I'm not going to win."

"If you win, will you wear it?" Kineil pressed.

"I'm not going to win."

"Say for a minute that you will."

Yami squinched his eyes shut for the longest time.

"Fine," he said finally. "If I win, I'll wear it. I'll wear it every day for the rest of my life. I'll use it to pin the Magician's cape I'd have to wear."

"We'll hold you to it," Ghastly said.

"That's what I'm afraid of."


	23. Marks at the Revue

**Chapter 23, everybody, featuring everyone's favorite feline felons! And may I just say, I** ** _love_** **El Nino—December 14** **th** **here in the States, and I had shorts on today. :D**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Haha, yes, he wasn't expecting it, and now he's stuck with a tie that will forever be a conversation piece. :D House swimming? Is that indoor swimming? *pictures literally swimming through a house* Don't worry, I'm sticking with the creative stuff rather than killing myself on quadratics (right now I'm more focused on my comprehensive examination while keeping up with my art and writing—such fun!). Thank you! I shall look into it as soon as I have another free weekend (and after I familiarize myself with** ** _Don't Starve's_** **new DLC). Have fun with your games! ^^/**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, it is truly a Ghastly tie. :D I do have a sketch like that started, so I'll bump it up the queue—although if you've ever watched** ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **, you have an idea of what it looks like. :) Just a tad. :D**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End_** **© 2007 Disney ("Have not, lies and calumny!")**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _Dragonriders of Pern_** **© 1967 Anne McCaffrey (the notion of marks as a payment option)**

 ** _Naruto_ © 1997 Masashi Kishimoto (Atlas has been taking notes from Kakashi)**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

"Well look there! Our newest nominee!"

"Mitzi, save me," Yami begged, dropping to his knees in front of her and trying very, _very_ hard to ignore Zib's cat-call up on the stage. He had been hearing variations of it all week, and it was beyond him how word had spread so quickly.

And apparently, going to the Lackadaisy Revue was not going to be the respite he had hoped for.

"Thank you, Zib, for the official nomination," Mitzi May called. "Now get back to warming up—you're out of tune."

Zib made a face and went back to blowing on his clarinet.

"Stand up, dear," Mitzi said to Yami. "Or at least sit on a barstool—you're making a scene there on the floor."

Yami obliged, sitting in the barstool next to hers—he had to sit facing out, one of the few drawbacks of his long limbs.

"It is true?" Viktor asked, not looking up from cleaning his glass, and not particularly sounding like he cared. "You are running?"

"All lies and calumny," Yami vehemently denied. "It was a prank Kineil pulled. I'm not running."

"Oh good," Mitzi said. "Atlas told me not to tell you anything if you asked where he was."

"Where _is_ he, since you brought him up?"

"Tending to our not-quite-legal stash in the limestone warrens."

One of the more interesting aspects of the foothills of the Giant Mountains were the mazes of caverns running beneath them. One large one in particular had obviously been occupied before, and was used on occasion for large parties.

The smaller warrens were ignored by the Administrators—which meant that everyone who needed storage space and didn't want to pay for it or announce their goods stored them in the warrens. It was a tad risky, yes, but it was good storage space.

And Atlas May had hit upon quite a racket—not only by storing the booze he obtained on the river (through multiple duplicitous acts) in his own personal cavern, but by exploring the caves as well. He made sure they were sound, cleaned them up, sealed them up with a nice door, and then sold the pre-tended storage space to Delvaire residents. For an extra few dollars a month, he had one of his crew wander through the warren, checking the air and making sure no one disturbed the caves.

Yami supposed he'd be more fussed, if he didn't own such a cavern himself—he wasn't sure what he was going to _use_ it for yet, but he liked the idea of owning one.

"Did anything good come in?" Yami asked.

Mitzi gave him a little pout. "Now Yami, you know the Gypsians save the _good_ stuff for _you_."

Sometimes, it was good to have a wide range of friends.

"Now Mitzi," he said, matching her tone. "You know I tell them to pass the _good_ stuff on to _you._ I'd rather drink it here, anyways—better atmosphere."

"Aren't you darling," Mitzi said, before looking over to Atlas heading their way—she seemed to possess an uncanny sense, to always know when he was coming.

"You're fine, dear," she called, when she noted Atlas freeze.

"Yami," Atlas purred upon arrival, attempting to recover his normal suave demeanor. "I was just wandering a bit on the path of life…."

"Mitzi already told me," Yami said.

"Dear, we talked about this," Atlas said to her.

"He's not running," Mitzi told him, patting his arm. "Miss Wicks wanted to make a point."

Atlas swore.

"Okay," Yami noised.

"No, no," Atlas muttered, waving him off. "It's just—we've already started the pool." He indicated the blackboard on the other side of the revue, out of immediate sight of the entrance—good for when the Administrators stuck their noses in. "I already put thirty marks on you."

Marks were slightly different than normal monies in that they were "Commoner" change instead of Magician-enchanted paper bills. They weren't coins that could be melted down for their base metals, either—they were a representation of an hour of work provided by a person. If a mark was handed over, it generally indicated that the person would do an odd job for the receiver for an hour. For Atlas to bet _thirty_ —

"I'm not going to win," Yami told him. "I'd bet differently if I were you."

"I can't," Atlas mock-wailed. "I made it in front of the entire revue—I _started_ the _bets_ with that. I can't change it now."

"Sorry."

" _You,_ " Atlas stressed, pointing. "Had better win that election. I've never worked an honest day in my life, and I don't intend to start now."

"I'm sure you've worked _one_ honest day."

Atlas gave it some thought. "Yes, one—I dug a ditch. I hated it. I swore I'd never do another—I'd have _other people_ do it for me."

"And now you do," Mitzi said, signaling Viktor. Viktor obliged with a glass of gin.

"I did not bet on you," Viktor informed Yami.

"Oh good," Yami observed.

"Don't take it personally," Mitzi said, handing the gin to Atlas. "He doesn't bet on anything."

"Not true," Viktor said, as Atlas knocked the gin back. "Other day, I bid on…eh, large bird-thing."

"The racing guineas?" Yami asked. After horses, the larger birds were the most bet-upon animals around—except for cockfighting, which Atlas also had as a racket for. Yami hated that one.

"Yah—was at track other day, it look fast, I bet, I win."

And thus, Viktor Vasko summarized his day.

"You'll be fine," Mitzi said, tapping Yami's arm. "Besides, everyone knows they stuff the ballots anyway."

Atlas moaned.

"You'll be fine too, dear," she assured. "Just ask Rocky or Mordecai to do it for you—those boys would bend over backwards if you asked them."

"Rocky especially," Atlas said, considering. "I swear, that kid is double-jointed."

Viktor served Yami his customary light liqueur—some booze every day may be beneficial to a person's health, but he wasn't sure he wanted to be as healthy as some of the other patrons of Lackadaisy. Besides, he didn't much like the taste of alcohol.

He held up his glass, really only ordered because Mitzi insisted, and proposed a toast. "To me losing."

"To you _winning,_ " Atlas insisted, accepting his freshly-refilled glass.

"To you not having to work thirty hours," Yami amended.

"I'll drink to that."


	24. Store Talk

**Chapter 24, everybody! In which our heroes visit shops based on the myriad little stores in my area, use one of my vocabulary flub-ups (I don't speak as well as I write, regrettably ^^), and heavily reference the Dewey-Truman election of 1948—if you don't know what I mean, put "Dewey Defeats Truman" into a search engine and look at the pictures that pop up. It was enough of an iconic 20** **th** **century moment and major goof that I** ** _had_** **to include a reference to it. :)**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Huh, so it's across the board (and ocean)! It did cool down and get wet and rainy here, but the temperature's on an upswing again—it's supposed to be seventy-four Christmas Day. *v* I should send the Heat Miser a gift basket….Yes…it must be the hair. :D And really? *looks up* That's so cool—I was referencing the limestone caves under St. Louis that act as a setting for** ** _Lackadaisy Cats,_** **but it's so cool that such a thing (storing loot in caves as such) is so universal. And you've given me something new to research, so that's even better! Thanks! \^^/**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Uh….*checks* The best references up so far would be the cover for** ** _The Magicians' Realm_** **or an old drawing I did of Yami Skellington under the YGO-THK folder—I've got a sketch of Yami Skellington from the Magicians' Realm bumped up the queue though, so we should be seeing a visual soon (until then, picture Jack Skellington with Yami-hair XD). Woo! Hot weather! Mom may be revisiting her idea to travel there when January comes—according to the almanac, it's going to be cold then. Ah…so it's like** ** _Harry Potter_** **without the dragons (so notably safer). That's interesting—although now I'm picturing it as something like "Good lap! Ten points to uninteresting house name!" Yes, I need to preserve what little sanity I have left….And I shall check it out, when and if I have time (I'm anticipating some right after Christmas, but I'm not sure—** ** _where did all my time go!?_** **).**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 _ **Dharma and Greg**_ **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy**

 _ **Fried Green Tomatoes**_ **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet**

 **"** **I Told You So" © 1987 Randy Travis ("But you had to go…." Kineil sings a bar of this song)**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Yami was pleasantly surprised to find someone else loitering around the antiques store.

"Hey, Kels," he chimed, walking up to her. "How's things?"

"Decent," she said, poking through the odds and ends, occasionally picking something up; he wondered if she didn't sense something within the items when she did so, but the one time he asked her about it, she had replied with a simple _it pleases me._

Thus rang the reasoning of Kels Klendaniel.

She glanced at him as she put the latest knickknack down. "So…how are _you_ doing?" she asked.

"Decent," he returned, shrugging.

"Really," she noised, flatly. "I suppose that's better than how _I'd_ be—if they'd have pulled that stunt on _me_ , they'd have heard it on _both_ Chaos Coasts."

"What stunt?" Yami asked, although he had a sinking feeling he already knew.

"Shooting down your promotion."

"And how do _you_ know about that?"

"The better question would be: who _doesn't_ know?" she returned, gesturing around. "They didn't put it in the paper, but they might as well have—the whole of Delvaire knows that Yami Atem Montgau did not receive his much-anticipated promotion."

It did take Yami a moment to get his emotions under control. "That…was very unprofessional of them."

"It didn't help that you didn't strut all over town," Kels added, resuming her odd habit of picking items up, holding them, and then putting them back. She hardly looked at the items she selected. "And the fact that quite a few people saw you storming out of the Administration Building."

Yami winced—yes, he reflected, he _had_ reacted poorly to the news…."How bad was it?"

"I'm surprised you didn't summon thunderheads."

He rubbed the back of his neck as she picked another something up. "So now what, O fearless leader?" she asked, still with that faraway look.

"I'm not sure," he admitted. "I'm trying to find a way to keep learning without the Administrators' knowing—"

"How very duplicitous of you."

"Yes….So I decided to look in some of these stores for old spellbooks, and then go from there."

"Good luck."

"Thank you."

"No, I mean good luck finding old spellbooks—I've been in nearly every antiques, junk, and consignment store in Delvaire at least _once_ , and spellbooks are the one thing they can't keep in stock."

"They sell out quickly?"

"The Administrators confisticate them."

Yami blinked at the odd word before it registered. "I think you mean _confiscate."_

"Right—what did I say?"

"You added a 't'."

"Oh."

"Why would the Administrators _do_ that?" Yami mused.

"Why would they hold you back?" Kels asked.

"Good question."

"So what if you fail in this knowledge quest of yours?"

"Then I start experimenting."

"Idle hands…."

"Well, what else can I do?" Yami asked, flinging his hands up in aggravation. "Spend a year sitting on them?"

"Why don't you tell your parents? I'm sure _they'll_ find something for you to do."

"Oh please no—they'll make me clean the gutters, and I _hate_ that job."

"What's so bad about it?"

"They don't let me use magic."

"That'll do it."

She paused, prompting Yami to note that she had been holding the same thing for over a minute now. "I think I'll get this one," she decided, heading for the cashier. She held up the trinket as she did so, looking at it—it was a smooth stone owl, just big enough to fit comfortably in one's hand.

"Why that one?" Yami asked.

"It pleases me."

"How did I know that?" Yami muttered, following her to the cashier.

*\\*/*

It was the night they announced the new Head Mage, and nearly everyone Yami knew was at his house, milling around, drinking, eating, and comparing presents. How nice, that his friends were so certain he'd win.

Ah well—time to bring them back to reality.

Yami tapped his finger against his glass to get everyone's attention.

"Hi everybody!" he chimed, once everyone was looking in his general direction. "And thanks for coming to my loser's party! And bringing refreshments, aside."

"'Loser's party'?" Kineil echoed.

"I'm not winning, remember?" Yami asked.

"I want my present back, then," Bakura stated.

"You brought me a present? Then I'm sorry, all presents are non-refundable."

"Forget about his—mine is better," Skulduggery said.

"It's a hat," Idgy supplied.

"Now look," Skulduggery said, feigning aghast. "You went and ruined the surprise."

"I suppose the Pleasant present is this distinctly hatbox-shaped one?" Vulcan asked, holding it up.

"Well, yes…."

"Great! I won't bother stealing it then," Vulcan said, putting it aside and looking at another.

"I thought stealing was _my_ forte," Bakura argued.

"Do you get the feeling we have very peculiar friends?" Yami asked Kineil in an undertone.

Kineil gave him a funny look. "You're just realizing this _now?_ "

"Hello!"

"Oh, hello, Mitzi!" Yami said, turning to see the curvatious co-owner of the Lackadaisy Revue. "I see you brought a commiseration present."

"Nothing like a bottle of booze to say 'I lost,'" she said, handing him the bottle. Ooh—expensive. He ought to fob it off on Marik before Marik took it upon himself to steal it. "And I brought a little something else you might like."

Yami laughed appreciatively at her other gift. It was the Delvaire newspaper, and in big bold lettering it said **_SUMBINIX VICTOR._**

"This is the advance copy, by the way," Mitzi told him. "The Revue gets them for our patrons."

"Speaking of," Yami noised, accepting the paper and unfolding it to read the article. "Shouldn't _you_ be at the Revue?"

Mitzi waved him off. "Atlas can handle it, even if he _is_ as nervous as a cat in a rocking-chair store—everyone's glued to the radio anyways."

"Can you blame them?" Idgy asked, sitting on the arm of the chair nearest to the radio and fiddling with the knobs. "It's not every day we get a new Head Mage."

"And one that puts us to sleep, asides," Skulduggery observed. "I can't wait for his fireside chats—they will cure the country of insomnia."

"Now, play nice," Yami commanded. "He's going to be Head Mage for a very long time….Wow, I just depressed myself."

"You should open that and undepress yourself," Marik pointed out, indicating the bottle Yami was still holding. "And the rest of us, besides. Mostly me, though."

"Your concern for the rest of us is touching."

"Hey, I found it!" Idgy declared. "I found it! They're about to announce the results!"

She turned up the volume knob so they could hear.

 _"With ninety-nine percent of the votes tallied, we should be hearing the results any moment now,_ " the radio announcer said.

"Can't we find something better to listen to?" Yami asked.

"Oh, don't be such a spoil-sport," Mitzi scolded, slapping him on the arm. "I want to hear this."

Yami grumbled under his breath—the announcer was discussing with another person about the candidates, and it made Yami uncomfortable to hear his name bandied about by people he didn't know.

The announcer chimed in, prompting complete silence. Yami wished he had an airhorn.

 _"The final votes have come in, and the winner—by an overwhelming margin—"_

"Is Sumbinix," Yami muttered, taking a sip of his drink. Mitzi promptly shushed him.

" _Is Skellington!"_

Yami felt like how the announcer sounded—completely floored.

He never was sure what happened to his mouthful of drink.

His friends' silence didn't last long.

Yami suddenly found himself in the middle of a swarm of congratulations, with the additions of chidings because _he swore he wouldn't win_ —and then Kineil came up.

"All right, fine, rub it in," Yami declared. "Go ahead and say _I told you so."_

" _Boy I told you so,"_ Kineil sang. "But that wasn't what I was going to say."

With that, she held a box up in front of him.

"Please tell me that isn't what I think it is."

"It is," Kineil crowed as Yami opened the box, revealing his worst fear. "You said you'd wear it if you won, and guess what: _you won!"_

And with that, Kineil joined the wild cheering.

Yami pulled the tie out of the box.

"I…guess I could learn to love it," he said finally.

Mitzi patted his arm. "It suits you," she declared.


	25. Ring Up

**Chapter 25, everybody! In which Nicholas Cage makes a guest appearance…and so does a stone staircase I climbed in Harper's Ferry—to put the thing in perspective, about halfway up said stone steps, I was mentally reciting Kaiba's stair rant from** ** _Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged_** **. We also get to see the name of the local river, based on a misreading of a local restaurant sign (but that's the fun part :D), and a reference to things that may or may not be extinct….**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Ooh, my sympathies (shorts Christmas Day, but torrential rain starting that night and going on and off for the next week). Um, that's Celsius, right? *refreshes memory on conversion* That's still pretty warm for December (not that I'm complaining :D). He was! I suppose he figured no one in their right mind would vote for him, although I suppose we could say that since he was running against a lifetime politician, it was a bit of a toss-up for the voters. :) Haha, yes, they end up getting along quite swimmingly. :D Uh…sometime next year. ;)**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes, exactly like that. You misunderstand—if Mom could, she'd live on the surface of the sun (she's had a great time with this warm weather, though). And no, I haven't—as far as I knew, they were a singularly** ** _Harry Potter_** **thing (I suppose the closest thing we'd have would be collegians). Then again, I'm also a career home-school kid, so my experience with school is severely limited to television, literature, and two years at a campus college. But do you study angles? *bricked*** ** _That_** **might actually be a common thing with schools the world over—that campus college I keep bringing up had names that might have relations to people (MacKenzie, Dixon), but then we got a campus cafeteria named "Four Winds." '-' On the positive side, I got a good deal with my dorm—"Griffeth-dorm" as my family and I would say to anyone who stood still long enough. :D It's getting better now that I don't have Christmas presents to prepare—but now we have to de-decorate. ;-;**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _The Sorcerer's Apprentice_** **© 2010 Jon Turteltaub**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

The owner of the particular antiques store Yami and Kels were in, Balthazar Blake, looked up from his reading as they approached. "Ah, Kels," he noised, putting a letter in his book for a bookmark. "Find something that speaks to you?"

"I'm not sure if it talks, but it makes me happy," Kels said, placing the stone owl on the counter.

"That's all that counts," Balthazar said, giving it an once-over before ringing it up.

"She didn't give _me_ a straight answer either," Yami said.

"And your point?" Kels asked.

"I'm upfront with _you."_

"And your point?"

"You're fighting a losing battle, Yami," Balthazar advised. "We mere mortal men cannot hope to ever fathom the feminine mind."

 _Mere mortal men_ was an interesting description, considering Balthazar was one of those Magicians whose magic was strong enough to keep him the age he was indefinitely. He was one of the few that remembered life with the Boogie-Mage around—but getting him to talk about it was difficult. Getting him to talk about _why_ he wouldn't talk about it was difficult. Yami suspected he was in the same mold as Larry Finkelstein—absolute paranoia that the Administration was out to get him.

Of course, considering his own experience….

"Did you know," Balthazar said, handing the owl back to Kels as she put a few coins on the table. "That owl is made from sea-stone that washed up on one of the Chaos Coasts—a Gypsian picked it up after escorting their family member to the sea. They carved an owl into it, and it's been traded up and down the Thesdell ever since. It's well-travelled."

The Thesdell was the name of the nearby river, although very few people ever called it that—it was just "the river" to locals. Yami was more interested in the notion that the rock came from one of the Chaos Coasts—the only people who ever travelled there were the Gypsians disposing of their dead in the Endless Seas. Chaos Creatures may have been purported to be extinct, but no one was willing to bet their life on it—and everyone knew Chaos Creatures loved the coasts.

"So, Yami," Balthazar noised, keeping his voice conversationally neutral. "I heard the news."

"I hear half of Delvaire heard the news," Yami said, feeling a tad irritated.

"So now he's looking for spellbooks," Kels said, hooking her thumb at him.

"I'm sorry, did I say that was supposed to be repeated?" Yami asked tetchily.

"Oops?" Kels noised.

"Don't worry about it," Balthazar assured. "So let me guess: you're in _here_ looking for spellbooks."

"Well," Yami hedged.

"I'll tell you right now there isn't a consignment shop in Delvaire that can keep them in stock. I can put you on a list, but since you're a Magician, you'd get lower priority."

"Wow," Kels noised. "For once in your life, you're the low man on the totem pole."

"How come?" Yami asked.

"Commoners asked first," Balthazar explained, shrugging.

"No, I mean, why are they in such high demand?"

"Oh. Because the Administrators make regular sweeps of the stores and confiscate them. Something about keeping dangerous stuff out of Commoner hands. Of course, that digs into my net profit, so I—along with anybody who's anybody—hide their stock of books when they get them and then contact my customers. Done right, nobody knows any better."

"And why would you do something like that?"

"Call me old-fashioned."

"Call me the Head Mage's son."

Balthazar's expression said that he just remembered. He pointed at them both. "That doesn't leave this building."

"I think people know he's the Head Mage's son," Kels said, grinning.

"I mean the other thing. I mean it—don't tell anyone."

"Balthazar," Yami sighed as the transaction finished. "I just got the shaft by the Administrators. There is no way in this _dimension_ that I'll do them a favor."

Balthazar smiled and shrugged in a _well, that's life_ manner. "That's the spirit. Have a good day, you two."

*\\*/*

"And that, my dear Miss Gardenier, is how I came to be unfortunate enough to wear this tie. I like it though—it's grown on me."

Teana stared at him, prompting Yami to fidget.

"Let me get this straight," she said finally. "You never wanted the job?"

"I tell you the tie story and you focus on the _election?_ "

"The man in charge never even _wanted_ the job?"

Yami gestured helplessly. "Well, no—I wasn't ready for that sort of responsibility. I didn't even _campaign."_

"Then how did you get the job?"

"I have no idea," Yami admitted. "I think Atlas panicked, personally, and stuffed the ballots so he wouldn't have to pay up those marks."

"So you think you're in charge because a bootlegger didn't want to work."

"Well then, my dear Miss Gardenier," Yami said, leaning forward and raising his teacup. "From the layman's standpoint—why do _you_ think someone like myself got the job?"

Judging by her expression and the length of her silence, she didn't have a very flattering answer.

"Do you _really_ think that lowly of me?" he asked, feeling a tad hurt but trying for amused.

"I'm not sure if you want the answer to that."

He flopped his head down on the table—the length of his arms meant his hands ended up on the ground. Gah…but maybe she's see it as funny.

He looked up at the tapping on his head to see her looking at him with a bemused expression—okay, that was positive.

"I'm not going to tell you you're the neatest thing since sliced bread," she informed him. "As a matter of fact, I don't tell _anyone_ that. But I _will_ tell you that I'd believe you more if you didn't act like a goof and actually acted like you were in _charge_ of something."

"But that would require so much _work_ ," Yami tried, in an attempt at levity.

No dice—she was getting up. "Well, you lazy lout, I _do_ have work to do," she said, patting him on the head. "Thanks for the story. It's been a while since I heard good fiction."

"Wait, what?" Yami asked, looking after her as she left the café. "I was telling the truth!"

"Right, right," she sighed, walking past him.

"I am! I can prove it too—how about a meal at the Lackadaisy Revue?"

"You _want_ to introduce me to your bootlegger friends?"

"They're a lot nicer than they sound."

"Sorry, pass."

"Aw, come _on_ —don't you want to have new experiences?"

She stopped at the next crosswalk and looked back.

" _You_ were my _last_ new experience," she called. "I'm still waiting to see how _that_ pans out."

And with that, she left.

Yami slouched against the table, confused.

This stuff was so much easier in fiction.

*/*\\*

"So what are you going to do with that owl?"

"I don't know yet," Kels admitted. "Probably put him with the other knickknacks I've been accumulating."

"How do you know it's a _he?"_ Yami asked.

"He looks like a he."

"Hmm," Yami noised, scuffing his shoe against the cobblestone walk.

"So what are _you_ going to do?" Kels asked.

"I'm not sure," Yami admitted. "If the consignment shops are out, I guess the next stop would be the Administration Library."

"You _do_ realize the stir you'll cause upon arrival?"

Yami sighed. "I'm not suited to stagnation."

"Good—you'd stink otherwise." They arrived at a set of stone steps snaking downwards. "Come on, let's go for a walk—it'll clear your head."

"I dunno…."

"Yes you do," Kels said, already trotting down the steps. "You always think on your feet."

Yami couldn't help but smirk.

"Yes," he said, feeling buoyed as he followed her. "Yes I do."


	26. The Tour

**Chapter 26, everybody! In which we get the first of several references to the Ray Bradbury book** ** _Let's All Kill Constance_** **—when I read that book, I kind of had a Joe from** ** _Wishbone_** **moment: hit the last page..."What did I just read? What just happened?" I need to reread that book. -_-**

 **Teana's experience by the river there is based on an experience I had in the Outer Banks a few years back—a sea turtle surfaced near our boat, snorted, and by the time I spotted it and registered what it was, it had gone back down. It's on my list of really awesome experiences. :D**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, we're weird over here and use Fahrenheit and the English Measuring System (I think America's the only holdout for those? I'm not sure). All right! :D Unfortunately for us, the weather finally broke—we had to start our fireplaces. T-T Oooh, tempting—although I think right now Yami's more focused on learning something new; he needs constant distraction. :) Yes, Teana doesn't seem sold on having Yami around—it must be that hair….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! That I had to get from my e-mail because FanFiction is being weird….Anywho! We may be answering your question this chapter or next chapter, so stay tuned. :) Heheh, I suppose the stairs were easy to miss because they were treated as a normal thing—I figure since Kels and Yami live there, those stone steps aren't as arduous as the ones in Harper's Ferry were to me. ^^; The steps are at the end of the last chapter. :) I suppose the only thing keeping my Mom from heading over there right now is the cloudy-with-a-chance-of-spiders thing and the fact that it would be an extra-long haul—going to Hawaii was nerve-wracking enough (about halfway through the six-hour flight we realized that if we crashed we'd be stuck treading water in the Pacific Ocean with a very slim chance of retrieval D: ). Tis true…and now I want to find something** ** _not_** **named after a person….I'm actually surprised that it took us a month to put everything up but only two days to take everything down…it's weird (and you should decorate more—especially outside).**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Wishbone_** **© 1995 Rick Duffield**

 ** _Let's All Kill Constance_** **© 2002 Ray Bradbury**

 _ **The Sorcerer's Apprentice**_ **© 2010 Jon Turteltaub**

 ** _Hollow Fields_ ****© 2007 Madeleine Rosca**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Teana decided that this was going to be one of her better days.

It was a rare event—she had the day off. The _full_ day off.

She kept the information to herself—she had wanted a day where she could keep her own council, and nutty Magicians did not factor into that plan.

So she got up early, spent the first hour after breakfast tooling around the Delvaire Public Library, and then checked out a book that she thought was satisfactory.

 _"Let's All Kill Constance,"_ the librarian read—she was an absolutely beautiful woman, one that made Teana feel plain by comparison; she wondered why this lady worked at the library. "Interesting. Have you read it before?"

"Not yet," Teana admitted, accepting it back.

"When you finish, would you mind telling me what you think of the ending? I need a second opinion on that one."

"Okay," Teana said slowly. "I'll let you know."

"Splendid. Enjoy."

Teana nodded and left, reflecting that she shouldn't be surprised that librarians read the books they sorted.

But she couldn't help but feel that was odd somehow, as she left the relative coolness of the library and hit the hot mugginess that was high summer. Wow—already it was hot. She amended her course so it took her to a corner store in the Commoner's section.

No way was a Magician ruining this day.

*/*\\*

The next day, Yami risked it and went to the Administration Building. It was either that, or walk to Massenborough in an attempt to keep his mind off things.

Of course, considering what he was walking into, walking that far might have been the better idea.

The Administration Building was kept a constant seventy degrees. After the increasing heat of outside, it was pleasant. High summer meant it was getting warmer earlier in the day and staying toasty long into evening. But soon it'd be fall, with the smell of dying leaves filling the air and complementing the scents of harvesting and preparing for winter.

Yami reflected that he would have to pick up poetry—that was actually pretty good.

One of the Administrators spotted Yami as he loitered in the lobby, letting his eyes adjust. "What are you doing here, Yami?"

"I thought I'd walk with the museum tour today," Yami said, easy with his excuse. Confidence is what sold a lie, he knew.

The Administrator nodded and continued on his way, allowing Yami to do so as well.

Yami had expected such resistance, and had come up with the museum tour as a good excuse to wander the Administration Building unaccosted. Unfortunately, it also meant that he had to walk the tour anyway. Yay. Like he hadn't done so a million times before when attending Hallowed Fields.

As he walked over to the small tour group, he realized he was possibly overreacting. He could have said he was heading for the library to make sure he stayed sharp. But at the same time, he had a sneaking suspicion that the Administrators were keeping an unusually close eye on him for some reason.

He snorted softly and turned his attention back to the tour—his conversation with Kels and Balthazar yesterday had put him on edge, that's all. He forced his attention to stay focused on the guide, who was currently describing a statue, which apparently depicted a dragon king.

"Brutus Kaiba could reportedly summon dragons at will," the guide was saying. "His age was impressive even by Magicians' standards—some say he dated back to the Age of Chaos, before the Great Dearth."

Yami examined the statue as the tour guide drifted away, the group with her. The detail on the statue was ridiculously incredible—he could almost believe that Brutus Kaiba, the Dragon Emperor, would jump right off the podium right then and there—

And there was something _very_ unnerving about the eyes.

Yami shuddered and ran after the tour group.

*\\*/*

Sitting in the sun, enjoying the nice cool breeze off the river, reading a book while nursing a soda—now _this_ was how to spend a day.

She was deep into the mystery now, the nameless narrator worried about his titular friend. Thank goodness she had picked a relatively isolated patch by the river to read—she'd hate to have this interrupted now that it was getting good—

 _Snort!_

"What?" she said automatically, looking up sharply. Okay, that wasn't human, which made her regret her decision to be out here by herself—

She froze, staring, when she realized what she was looking at.

"Hello," she decided, since she didn't know what else to say to the smooth blue-white head barely poking out of the water. It reminded her of an alligator, but with infinitely smoother skin, and…human…eyes….

"Hello," the thing returned without preamble.

She stared. She had to be honest, she wasn't expecting an answer from the thing.

It snorted again. "And here I thought you were intelligent, actually _greeting_ me instead of running while screaming your head off."

"I'm sorry," she decided to say. "But I wasn't exactly expecting an answer. What are you, the Loch Ness monster?"

"You're in the wrong area for that."

"What then? A dragon?"

"Getting warmer," it—he, she supposed; the voice was masculine enough—said, drifting downstream a bit before hauling himself out of the water and onto the rocks.

She hoped that it was true about staring not being rude, because she couldn't help but do so. From his nose to his haunches, he was as long as a horse and carriage, not counting the long whiplike tail he curled up around his selected boulder. That same bluish white from stem to stern, with some darker armor on his arms, legs, and waist, spikes tipped with red poking up from his back in twin rows….

The longer she looked, the less convinced she was that she was looking at a dragon.

"Like what you see?" he asked flatly—not quite caustic; just mildly irritated that someone had infiltrated his preferred sunning spot.

"I'm not sure what I'm looking at," she said.

"You're looking at me—congratulations."

"Are all dragon-things as stuck up as you?"

"Yes. We're quite aware of what a big deal we are."

She rolled her eyes. Jerk.

It slid one of those blue eyes over until it was looking at her. "What do you think of that book so far?"

She glanced back down at her nearly-forgotten book. "It's all right…."

"Tell me what you think of the ending when you reach it—I need another opinion on it."

"You make the second, uh, person to ask me that."

"It's an interesting story."

Silence, because she wasn't sure what else to say to keep the conversation going. Why she was even _having_ the conversation was beyond her—her day had become very surreal in less than ten minutes.

"I've decided I like you," the dragon said suddenly. "You're not like most people who would try to keep the conversation awkwardly going—you sense an end and you stop."

"Thank you?"

The dragon nodded and settled to arranging himself for optimum sunning, effectively terminating the conversation. Teana decided to see if she couldn't get back to her book, now that her solitude was thusly interrupted—

"Don't move."

"What?" she asked, looking up.

The dragon was suddenly coiled, fixated on a spot about a foot away from where she was—

She looked, screamed as she leapt up, running from the absolutely _huge_ snake—

And the dragon lunged, crunched down, and flung the snake away.

"I hate those things," the dragon said simply as he returned to his sunning spot.

"Oh good, it's not just me," Teana noised, rubbing her chest. "Thank you, by the way."

"Don't mention it—I have a nap I need to get back to."

She gave it some thought before sitting down next to his rock. If she was going to get lost in a book, she wanted to be near the snake-killer.

She read a full minute before the dragon spread one wing a bit further, shielding her book from the glare of the sun.

"Thanks," she said, glancing up.

The dragon simply made a content noise, eyes closed.

Maybe she didn't have to be alone by herself, she decided.


	27. Offices and Chess Moves

**Chapter 27, everybody! In which my old marketing teacher's office makes a cameo….My first college thought it was a good idea to squish two grown men, two desks, and two filing cabinets into a room more appropriately sized for cleaning supplies, and the oddness of that stuck with me. :|**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Good news—he does in this chapter. :) That—is actually pretty close (and one of the reasons Kaiba goes the dragon route, in my headcanon). She doesn't come with him to visit, though, because of dragonlets and an overwhelming desire to let them practice pouncing skills on Yami. ;) It was….And good question—it seems spiky-haired Magicians are destined to get into trouble….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Pity….And yes! You'll get some insight in this chapter. :) Yes…they were hiding. Yeah, Mom might find them more of a nuisance because one bit her in the leg once while she was sleeping—she didn't even get spider-powers, either….That depends upon whose safety we're talking about—when the airlines send us to five different airports and force us to spend a day travelling on what was supposed to be a two-hour flight (cue** ** _Gilligan's Island_** **theme)….Mom actually swore she'd never fly again because of that. :\ Awesome that you got to go to Hawaii—and pity that you didn't get any sleep on the trip (you'd have been in the air longer than I was, come to think of it). Oh, I'll find something eventually….Perhaps you ought to invest in an artificial tree with built-in lights and bulbs….**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 _ **Skulduggery Pleasant**_ **© 2007 Derek Landy**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Let's All Kill Constance_** **© 2002 Ray Bradbury**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say, pal, what are you doing in my office?")**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

They were getting into Ancient history now—pretty boring, as far as Yami was concerned. Their advanced technology was nice, yes, but their lack of morals wasn't—and besides, most of what they made in their latter years was destroyed during the Age of Chaos, so most of what the tour was covering was speculation at best.

Yami spotted a side hall and took it, ducking away from the group. Once away, he suppressed the urge to shudder. Some of those stories from the Age of Magicians about evil sorcerers had been pretty skin-crawling—or at least, they would have been if it was someone else narrating it. It was hard to get worked up about the jaundiced eye of a cannibal or a man trapped in a statue when it was discussed with the same enthusiasm one reserved for discussing mold.

Yami glanced around, trying to orient himself. Well, he was away from the public area; these looked like offices—page offices, if the décor and size was anything to go by. Most were just big enough for a small desk, chair, and one filing cabinet.

He checked one of the clocks on a desk; lunchtime—no wonder no one was around. He wouldn't want to eat lunch in this narrow, windowless place either. He continued along the hall, hoping to find an area he recognized soon—he couldn't shake the feeling that the walls were closing in on him.

"Say, pal, you don't look so good."

Yami nearly jumped out of his skin. He could have sworn he was the only one here—

But no; there was Administrator Carter sitting at one of the desks, watching him through his customary cigar smoke haze.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Yami asked, before he could recover. Oop—not the best thing to say. "I mean, are you waiting for someone, or…."

"This is my office," Administrator Carter said, stubbing out his cigar in an ashtray.

"No offense, but I thought Administrator offices were a bit…bigger."

"They are—my old one echoed," Administrator Carter said, lighting a fresh cigar. "It was annoying, come to think of it." He shook the flame from his fingertips. "While we're on the subject—what are _you_ doing here?"

"Ah," Yami noised. "I thought I'd visit Dad at work." That normally worked. "I think I got turned around, though—or at least, I _thought_ I did—I thought these were page offices."

"They are."

Yami stared for a few moments, uncomprehending. "The echo was that bad?"

"And then you get Administrator Unger in there tapping his feet. He's lucky he's still living."

Yami raised an eyebrow, unsure how to respond to that.

Administrator Carter gestured, dismissing him. "Take the hall to the left and follow it until you reach a pair of oak doors—they should be open around this time. And if anyone asks, tell them I gave you bad directions."

Yami nodded, took a few steps, then stopped and looked back. "Um, why would they be bad directions?"

"Because that takes you to the Administrator Library," Administrator Carter said, not looking up from his papers.

"I'm going to see _Dad,_ remember?"

" _Right,_ " Administrator Carter said, drawling the word. "And I'm your aunt Gertrude. Now get out of here—you bother me."

Yami did so, with no small amount of relief. There was something about Administrator Carter that wasn't like the other Administrators, and it bothered him. It made him unpredictable, and therefore made him dangerous. What kind of Administrator stayed in a page's office? He could have put a sound dampening spell on the room without much trouble.

He reached the fork, hesitated, then took the left, feeling that Administrator Carter was listening to his footsteps.

He wasn't about to walk into a trap, however—he'd find a different way out.

*\\*/*

"I don't get it. I've reread this last chapter _three times,_ and I still don't get it."

"I think it's something that comes from that generation," the dragon mused, still sunning. "It takes a certain mindset to understand it."

"Well then, wise guy, translate for me," Teana shot.

"She wanted to reinvent herself. She thought the only way she could do that was to kill her old life."

"And the people involved too? Wait," she noised, flipping through the book. " _Did_ she kill them? I'm confused."

"I'm not sure—it's been a while since I read that book."

"Okay, here's the movie theater guy's scene…let's see…."

"Finally, I made it! Sorry I'm late, but—Teana?"

Teana looked up. " _You,_ " she noised, spotting the tall thin form of Yami Skellington. "I'm trying to avoid you. Go away."

Yami looked utterly confused. "Okay…but what are you doing _here_?"

"I've decided to replace you," the dragon declared, fanning his wings slightly. "I like her better—she's more intelligent and she knows when to shut up."

"You two _know_ each other?" Teana asked, aghast.

"Regrettably."

"Why does everyone I know talk like they wish they didn't know me?" Yami asked.

"Well, me personally is because I've known generation after generation of spiny-haired _nerd_ , and it's starting to wear thin on me."

"And yet here you are."

"I told you: you've been replaced."

Teana let loose a whistle, directing the attention back to her. "Excuse me," she said. "But I've just had my day off interrupted here—"

"You were off today?" Yami asked. "Why didn't you say so?"

"Stop interrupting. Now, explain: how do you two know each other?"

Silence.

"You can speak now," she informed Yami.

"Noo," the dragon moaned.

"We've encountered each other a couple of times," Yami explained. "He's gotten over his desire to eat me, I think."

"Stop thinking."

"Anyway…I think it's the hair."

"I think I need to stop having conversations with you," Teana observed.

"Good idea," the dragon counseled.

"But we get together on occasion and play chess," Yami continued. "Except today I got nailed by the Administrators and couldn't get away—Max helped though. I owe him one. Considering I threw him under the bus….But he got away shortly after, so no harm done, right?"

"Ignore him," the dragon ordered. "Maybe he'll go away."

"I've tried that," Teana told him. "It doesn't work."

True to form, Yami was already seated cross-legged in front of them, setting up a little traveling chess set. "So how has _your_ day been so far?" Yami asked, looking to Teana.

"Quiet until you showed up."

"What about the snake?" the dragon asked.

"I'm trying to forget about that."

"A snake?" Yami asked, eyebrows askew.

"A big one."

"Good think Kaiba was here then," Yami said, gesturing to the dragon.

Teana looked at him, confused.

"Don't tell me you didn't formally introduce yourself," Yami said to the dragon, aghast. "I thought dragons put more stock in manners than that!"

"What did I tell you about thinking?" the dragon asked.

"I think formal introductions are in order," Yami declared, standing up and affecting an official stance.

"What are you doing?" Teana asked.

"I'm doing this all nice and proper-like—I'm told it's one of the Head Mage's jobs."

"The one time he does his job," Teana muttered.

"Brutus, I'd like to formally introduce you to Miss Teana Gardenier. Miss Teana, I'd like to present the Dragon Emperor Brutus Kaiba, one of the three Chaos Kings and one of the last Chaos Creatures still roaming the earth."

"I'd like to formally kill you," the dragon now identified as Brutus Kaiba declared.

"I'm sorry, but there's a form you have to sign for that."

Teana, meanwhile, was looking at Brutus Kaiba. "A Chaos Creature?" she asked. "From the Age of Chaos? From _millennia_ ago?"

"Makes you want to treat me with more respect, doesn't it?" Brutus Kaiba asked primly.

"Not really. I thought Chaos Creatures were extinct."

"That's what you get for thinking."

"As it's explained to me, they're just rare," Yami said, sitting back down. "Or in hiding. He's always been purposefully vague on the matter."

"It's not any of your business," Brutus Kaiba snapped, resuming his sunning position.

"So what am I supposed to call you?" Teana asked. "Mr. High-and-hoity-toity?"

"Brutus is fine."

"What about me?" Yami asked.

" _You_ had better refer to me by my full title, you spiky-haired yutz."

"I feel loved," Yami declared.

"You should," Teana said, flicking her book open with the intention of looking busy.

"You're reading _Let's All Kill Constance_?"

"Re-reading it."

"I don't suppose _you_ got the ending."

"You read it?"

"Five times. I _still_ don't get it."

"Welcome to the club," Brutus declared sagely.

And thus went Teana's day off—spending the rest of the day discussing the book with Yami and Brutus.

She had to admit, she thought as she went to bed that night, it wasn't a bad way to spend a day.

*/*\\*

Administrator William Maxwell Carter waited until Yami Montgau's footstep faded.

"There, Yami—maybe that works off some of that debt I owe you," he muttered, standing up and walking into the nearest wall. His shadow travel spit him out in a downtown alley.

He lit a fresh cigar as he walked. Not that he thought that he'd ever work off his guilt—he wondered at Catholic reasoning there.

But, he reasoned, pausing to glance at a little cemetery, something was better than nothing.


	28. Longevity

**Chapter 28, everybody! In which thieves climb down chimneys and longevity is discussed….They reference the Aesop "The Fox and the Grapes" in the parlor, by the by.**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Really? Glad I got it accurate then—I think the closest we ever got to a tour was an audio option on the USS Missouri in Pearl Harbor (which obviously wasn't a very memorable audio if it was ^^;). There may have been a reason we never go on tours, come to think of it….Too true, too true….Good question…and yes, that was—the offices from** ** _Spy Kids 2_** **might be a good comparison for what Administrator offices look like. ^^**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Ah, good to know. :D I know…and wow—maybe you have super spider-deflecting powers. *-* Yes it does—I was just listening to a Craig Ferguson video in which Craig was complaining about how his bag somehow got from New York to Cyprus on a flight to Scotland. It is nice…wait, chickenpox? That's kind of like my Dad, actually (the sleeping, not the chickenpox). Oog, yeah, much longer than ours—plus we spent a week in the southern California area, so there wasn't as much jet lag. Ah, a pity….**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 _ **The Nightmare Before Christmas**_ **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Mary Poppins_** **© 1964 Robert Stevenson (Bakura being a chimney sweep stems from listening to "Chim Chim Cheree" and "Jump In Time" during the story's early years)**

 _ **Skulduggery Pleasant**_ **© 2007 Derek Landy (we get a nice long quote from the first book in this chapter)**

 _ **Fried Green Tomatoes**_ **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet**

 _ **Harry Potter**_ **© 1997 J.K. Rowling**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Yami headed for the front door, starting to panic slightly now. He was seriously running out of options here—boredom was breathing down his neck, and right behind it… _blech_ , chores.

He wasn't so out of it, however, that he failed to notice a noise coming from the parlor.

Yami grimaced slightly, opened the door, and crossed the room briskly, sticking his head up the chimney once he did.

"Bakura!" he hollered up. "Get back down here and put back whatever you snitched!"

"Do you _have_ to insult me?" Bakura asked, sliding back down the chimney, soot noticeable on his pale skin and white hair but not on his dark clothes. "I _do_ have a respectable job as a chimney sweep, I'll have you know!"

Yami simply glared at him.

Bakura relented, reaching into a pocket and producing a pocket watch. "It's not to my taste, anyway."

"And neither are sour grapes just out of reach," Yami said, examining the watch; it was his father's, and would explain why he was _still_ looking for it this morning.

"Ah, cheers. By the by, I hear _you_ have some sour grapes of your own."

"Fine, rub it in."

Bakura was grinning now, currently the only clean part on him. "Certainly! How much entertainment do you think it gives me to know that I, a lowly thief and chimney sweep, have the exact same status as the son of the Head Mage!"

"Since when did you ever term yourself as a _lowly_ thief?" Yami asked, ignoring the jibe for now—his mom wouldn't like him getting soot or blood on the carpet. "I thought you always bragged about having royal blood."

"I can trace my lineage back to the Thief King himself."

"That's not exactly royalty."

"It's not like you have room to be critical, oh un-promoted one."

Yami decided it might be worth having to clean the parlor. It must have reflected on his face, because Bakura backtracked quickly. "Such a pity," the thief posed. "That you don't know a thief who might sneak into the Administration Building and steal something for you."

Yami felt an eye twitch. _What?_ "Please, you couldn't get within a thousand miles of their Restricted Section."

"You underestimate me—you know I can be quite slippery when I want to be."

It would explain how a teen a head taller than Yami could still eke up and down a chimney. "I'm thinking more along the lines of the spells put in place there that vaporize any unauthorized personnel."

Bakura blinked. "That… _would_ be a problem."

"See? Give it up, Bakura."

"I will when you do. Where are you going, exactly?"

"Taking _this_ ," Yami said, holding the watch up. "To Dad. Thank you, Bakura—you've given me the perfect excuse to get in there."

*\\*/*

Teana's departure from her morning job was quickly intercepted by Yami Skellington swooping out of nowhere (not literally, thank goodness) and turning her from her intended destination by an arm draped around her shoulder.

"Miss Gardenier so nice to see you I was hoping you'd acquiesce to a luncheon—"

"What are you doing?" Teana asked—Yami's statement sounded like it had all been in one breath.

"I figured if I asked fast enough, you wouldn't have the chance to turn me down."

"That's not endearing."

"It was worth a shot."

"Ask me properly."

"All right." He stepped in front of her and bowed deeply, prompting her to look around in embarrassment. A few people noticed, but none seemed concerned—it worried her that this might be a normal thing for Yami. Or at least, as close to normal as he got. "Miss Gardenier, would you please do me the honor of gracing me with your presence over a luncheon? And maybe for a few hours after that?"

"I have work," she told him. "Why don't you luncheon with your normal little troupe?"

Yami straightened up and looked around, confused. "I have one of those?"

"Yes—Hephaestus, Vulcan, Kineil—those three."

"Oh," Yami said, looking back to her. "They're busy with some new contraption of the boys'."

"What is it?"

"Something with gears in it."

She waited for elaboration before realizing it wasn't forthcoming. "You don't know what they're working on, do you?"

"Not really….No wait, yes I do—they're working on a car."

"It took you that long to remember?" she asked, then flapped her hands at him. "No wait—never mind. I feel better not knowing how incompetent our politicians are."

"Ouch," Yami noised.

She turned to walk down the street and away from him—

And bumped into a lady.

"Oh, hi Teana!" the lady chirped.

"Hi?" Teana noised.

"Idgy, remember?"

"Oh…right….Now I do—sorry."

"It's all right—it might be the hat; they can be distracting. I just bought this one—what do you think?"

"It's nice," Teana noised. "Very…bird-ish."

"Thanks! So what are you up to?"

"I was hoping to take Miss Gardenier to lunch," Yami announced, as though she had been asking _him_. "But it seems I've gone and irritated her again."

"To be fair, you have a real talent for it," Teana told him.

"Glad to know I'm good for something. Would you like to join us, Idgy? Or, join _me_ —I get the feeling Miss Gardenier is preparing to make a break for it."

"Go with that feeling."

"I'd love to, but Skul is coming and picking me up," Idgy said. Then, to Teana: "Oh hey—have you seen his car yet?"

Teana blinked. "He has a _car?_ " Cars were pretty expensive—very few people in Delvaire even _owned_ one.

"Yep—just make a passing comment about it. He'll talk your ear off describing it in loving detail."

She wouldn't mind that—she didn't know anybody who owned a car—

Wait….

She turned to Yami once more. "What you said earlier—those three are working on a _car?_ "

"They're building it from scratch," Yami said. "Kineil designed the general look, but the boys are the ones building it."

"Do you have any idea how expensive those are? Where are they getting the money?"

"They put it on my tab."

"Do I dare ask where _you_ get the money?"

"Hey, you live long enough, your money gathers interest."

"And how long is that?"

"Why do I feel like I'm getting the third degree?"

Teana glanced at Idgy, who shrugged.

"I hear Magicians live for millennia," Teana persisted.

"That's an exaggeration! Which one is 'millennia' again?" he asked Idgy.

"That's the thousand-year one," Idgy told him.

"Oh. Okay, so it's not _that_ big an exaggeration…."

Teana stared. "Okay, I think it's about time you share how you people live so long."

"Diet and exercise?"

"I don't think so."

"Clean healthy living?"

"Yami," Idgy chided.

"Fine—magic," Yami admitted. "Regular use of magic keeps a person young, and a person with strong enough magic can stay the same age indefinitely, even without the use of magic."

"And when were you planning on sharing this information?" Teana asked.

"Why would I?"

"Ooh, this isn't going to end well," Idgy hissed, holding her hat in front of her face.

"I don't have magic," Teana declared. "Think about that for a minute—let it sink in."

Yami glanced at Idgy, who was shuffling away. "I hate to say it, but I think I'm missing something…."

"Let me be blunt then—I'll be dead and in the ground and you'll still be looking the same as you do now."

His expression told her that this hadn't even remotely occurred to him.

She nodded to Idgy as she left. "It was nice seeing you again."

And then she walked off as briskly as she could manage.


	29. Alarming Conversations

**Chapter 29, everybody! In which the writer wishes they lived in the Magicians' Realm because they don't have computers—why, why, _why is technology evil!? Every last one of my Mom's computers crashed on the same day! I just spent the entirety of today dealing with tech support and trying to fix them! Why!?_ Er…*ahem* moving on….**

 **F** **or those who don't know, to dutch something up is early 20th century slang meaning to screw something up. Don't ask me why** **—it's just a thing that people did, apparently (and it makes one of Mom's stories extra-hilarious, too).**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! To be honest, the second** ** _Spy Kids_** **movie was the best one, but I can understand how it doesn't appeal to everyone (my Mom kinda groaned when I put it on a few years ago).** ** _Harry Potter_** **-esque offices would actually be a pretty good comparison, except that most of the higher-ups' offices are much better lit (somewhere along the lines of Dumbledore's office in the first handful of films)—the pages' offices are more like Snape's broom closet. Yes, this Bakura is much more helpful than the one in** ** _The Frost King!_** **:D And yes they do—there are ways to fix that, but first Yami's got to get Teana talking to him again….Good questions….We shall see. :)**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes, it would—now if only Teana would return his phone calls/letters/missives/random people he paid to talk to her….That'll do it. And yes, spider-deflecting powers—one of the lesser-appreciate superpowers out there. :D Yes….And then we get those people who'll fall asleep anywhere (at least get out of the road first!). Yes, looking at the map, that is to be expected…and that is true….**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy**

 ** _Fried Green Tomatoes_** **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet**

 ** _Harry Potter_** **© 1997 J.K. Rowling**

 _ **Don't Starve**_ **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say, pal, you don't look so good...")**

 _ **Lackadaisy Cats**_ **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _Spirited Away_** **© 2003 Hayao Miyazaki**

 **Original characters + setting + Scrubbing Dragons © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Idgy watched Teana round a corner before turning to Yami.

"Boy, did you dutch _that_ up," she declared.

"That never even _occurred_ to me!" Yami declared, apologetic. "I mean, people don't think like that, do they?"

"They do when they're envisioning the rest of their lives with someone."

Yami looked thunderstruck again.

"You ought to find her and apologize," Idgy declared.

"Apologizing won't fix things," he said, obviously thinking.

"It's a start."

He tilted his head—Idgy knew that would lead up to him going off with a half-baked plan.

Sure enough: "I have an idea," he declared, heading after Teana.

"It'd probably be a good idea to give her some time to cool off!" Idgy called after him. "Or not," she added, when it was obvious he hadn't paid her comment any attention. "You just go and dig yourself a deeper hole."

She turned at the sound of a car pulling up to see Skulduggery stepping out of the Bentley, already moving to get the door for her. "I see hat-hunting was successful," he observed, giving her a quick kiss as she slid into the car.

"At least the hat-hunting was," she said as he shut the door.

He ran around and got in the driver's seat, looking at her with concern. "Uh-oh—what happened? Did someone say something? Do you want me to say something back to them? I'm very good with having words with people—I just learned a new one too; I've been looking for an excuse to use it."

"What is it?" she asked, interested.

"Haberdasher. It's a tailor, technically, but I bet I could spin it into an insult."

"Ghastly might not make you any more clothes if you do."

"True….So what _is_ the problem?"

"Yami's put his foot in his mouth again."

"Oh dear, and here I thought it was something new," Skulduggery said, driving off.

"It was with Teana."

"Again, not exactly _new._ "

"Consider the lifespan difference between Magicians and so-called Commoners."

Skulduggery had the same deer-in-the-headlights moment that Yami did. "Oh," he said finally.

"Now you see the problem."

"I do….Well, it's nothing teaching her a little magic won't fix—regular use of magic keeps a person young, after all."

"I don't think that occurred to her."

"And why not?"

"You _really_ need to get to the southern half of Delvaire sometime—people think that only Magicians are allowed to use magic."

"Nonsense!" Skulduggery said, checking a crossroads before continuing. "Whoever gave them _that_ idea?"

"The Administrators."

"Ah, the fit Yami will have."

"It _will_ be noteworthy," she admitted. "But he has his little problem with Teana to square away first."

"I find it quite charming that you refer to our friends' romantic tribulations as _little problems._ "

"What would you call it then?"

"Absolute disasters of the heart."

"Why don't we call it an explosion and be done with it?"

"Do you know what they called the aftereffect of the world-breaker weapons of the Age of the Ancients?" Skulduggery asked. Idgy, startled by the sudden change in topic, shook her head. "They called it the fallout. I find it oddly suitable that the end of a romantic relationship is also called a falling out."

"They made such a cute couple," Idgy sighed.

"Maybe they won't break up," Skulduggery suggested.

"Skul," Idgy said, unable to hold back a smirk. "Their success as a couple is entirely dependent upon Yami successfully wrangling forgiveness from Teana."

"Oh."

They drove in silence for a while.

"Should we start a pool?" he asked.

"We should post it at the Revue first," she agreed.

*/*\\*

Someone stopped him again shortly after arriving in the Administration Building.

"Dad couldn't find this earlier," Yami explained, holding up the watch and pointing at it. "I found it, so I thought I'd bring it to him."

The Administration Building employed over a hundred people, so Yami didn't feel bad about not recognizing whoever this was. A senior page, by the looks of it.

Said senior page was being aggravating. "The Administration Building isn't a playground—you can't keep breezing in and out of here like—"

Percy—that's who this was. He thought. Maybe. "Listen _bucko,_ " Yami interrupted, deciding for a more blanket term that said just what he thought of the guy. "How, _exactly_ , am I _breezing in and out of here?_ With the exception of walking the tour the other day, the only times I've been in here are when I _need_ to be. Now if you'll excuse me, I _need_ to go and give this to my Dad. You mind?"

Percy looked like he was about to argue the point, glanced over Yami's shoulder—

Then stiffened and paled, skin stark against his red hair.

"A-as you were then," Percy said quickly, then dashed off.

Yami couldn't help but glance over his shoulder. Standard hustle and bustle.

And leaning against a column directly behind him and smoking a cigar was Administrator Carter.

Yami scowled slightly before hustling towards the familiar halls that led to his father's office. What, did they have Administrator Carter tailing him now?

To be honest, Yami would have picked someone a little less conspicuous—Administrator Carter had to be at least a head taller than most other people. Granted, it was a nifty side effect of using powerful magic over the years (although the why and how had long been lost), and one Yami was looking forward to taking effect, but _still_.

"Yami? Where are you going?"

Yami skidded to a halt, foot swinging out as he looked behind him. He in his musings had walked past his father's office without realizing it, and now Greg Montgau had his head poking out the door and looking at him oddly.

Oh, right—why was he here?

He pulled the watch out of his pocket. "I found your pocket watch."

"Great!" Greg said, accepting the item and fastening the chain to its pin. "Where was it?"

"In someone else's pocket."

Greg's expression made the smooth transition to longsuffering disapproval. "I told you not to hang out with that kid."

Yami shrugged. "Can I help it if he keeps dropping in?"

"Maybe I should invest in those Soot Sprites I keep hearing about. Or those little Scrubbing Dragons."

"But then you wouldn't be supporting the community."

"There are a lot of retorts I want to say, but I can't think of a way to spin them in a way that doesn't sound bad." Here Greg looked more closely at his son. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"It's just—ah, we haven't had a chance to talk about—"

"I'm _fine_."

He tried very hard not to notice the look his father was giving him—it was a not-quite-glare accompanied with crossed arms, and was a longstanding Montgau trick. No one to date could stand it for long without cracking. Yami hated when it was used against him.

Yami finally relented, spreading his hands. "Would it change anything if I said it was _not_ fine?"

Greg conceded that point. "No, but it might make you feel better."

"I doubt that."

"You might be surprised. Listen, stick around the office, I'll take an early lunch, and we can—"

An alarm suddenly sounded.

"That's the alarm for the rare spellbooks," Greg said, rubbing his ears. "Why is _that_ going off?"

Yami quickly relocated a hand from his ears to his forehead. "Bakura," he growled.

He wasn't sure what that said about him or Bakura when that was all Greg needed to know.

"You," Greg said, pointing at Yami; he could feel magic behind the words. "Go in my office, sit down, and _stay there._ I'll take care of this."

"Right," Yami said, heading into the office as Greg rushed off.

He collapsed in one of the chairs in front of the desk as the alarm cut off. The silence somehow made the room seem emptier.

" _Reeeallly_ great chat," Yami sighed, relegating himself to a long wait.


	30. Tabs

**Chapter 30, everybody! In which Teana apes my Mom somewhat—her experience at the beginning of the chapter mirrors something that happened to my Mom while waiting tables, although Mom didn't suck it up and bear it (which is why Mom is epic—there, it's documented for future generations to see :) ).**

 **Skulduggery also references…a GEICO commercial, I think, starring Joan Rivers. It's been a while since it was in circulation….**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes indeedy—and good question…probably by being his normal charming self. :) No, he isn't—tis a blow to his ego, to be sure. We'll see…next chapter, actually. And aaa! Darn stuff—thanks for catching that for me; it's fixed now. :) Which is an improvement over what normally happens with this document (for some reason, it sometimes sees fit to change all instances of "Yami" in a selection to first-person or one of the other Y-initialed names, although this has become less frequent on the Xidax, thank goodness).**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes, he can. Ah—I thank you for going the polite route. :) And that there is the** ** _precise_** **reason you don't see swear words in my stories. :) That…might be too much to ask for, to be honest….It must be a thing (I used to find the stairs to be a nice place to nap, until I got too long/tall for the steps). Yes, let's see how this turned out. :)**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy**

 ** _Fried Green Tomatoes_** **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet**

 ** _Guardians of Ga'Hoole_** **series © 2003 Kathryn Lasky**

 ** _Next_** **© 2007 Lee Tamahori (Yami quotes Nicolas Cage towards the end)**

 ** _Ice_ Age series © 2002 Blue Sky Studios (the spleen comment comes from one of the movies)**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Teana decided that she may just have to quit another job, despite the strain it would put on her finances.

It would be better than her current experience.

"And how are you doing, little lady?" a man she recognized as an elder Administrator asked.

She gave a simpering smile. "Fine, as soon as you move your hand."

And with that, she brought the issue straight to her manager.

"It's one of the things you just have to take with the job," her manager informed her.

She tried very hard not to fume; inappropriate fondling by dirty old men was _not_ in the job description.

She quickly swapped tables with one of the other waitresses (who, regrettably, _liked_ that sort of thing), and worked without incident until she was cycled to the bar.

She guessed the guy was of the Magician bent by the flamboyant Victorian-style outfit—men in lace. Yay. And with an earring…shaped like a die. Okay….

"And what's a _lovely_ lady such as yourself doing working a bar?" he asked, flicking his black bangs out of his face in what he probably thought was an attractive motion. He had a ponytail too. Okay….

"What," she noised, forcing herself to focus. "Afraid I'll break a nail in your sangrias?"

"I drink stronger stuff than _that_ ," the man said, affronted.

"My mistake. What'll it be, then?"

"A tall glass of water."

She tried very, very hard not to roll her eyes and instead served him what he asked for.

"You want ice with that?" she asked sweetly as he stared at the water glass in front of him.

"I'll have a martini," he said finally. "Dry, stirred, and please, put the Vermouth in this time."

She did. With her back to him and blocking the glass, she gave into temptation and put in a bit more than was necessary. Say hello to chest hair, fella.

She had to fight to keep a smile off her face as he spasmed from the drink. "Enough Vermouth for you?"

"Plenty," he rasped.

"Wonderful. And with what currency will you be paying with tonight?"

There were quite a few currencies in circulation around the world, and despite the relatively centralized Magician-bills, odd currency still made its way around. She and her banker enjoyed such finds, and she supposed she was fortunate she had a banker who was relatively honest.

Of course, she might have an issue when the old banker died….

The man smirked. "Put it on my tab."

The use of the familiar phrase irked her more than usual, and her next comment was especially terse because of it. "And what name am I putting it on?"

"Duke Otogi."

"Is that a name-duke or a royalty-duke?"

"It depends on who you ask."

She was going to slip and fall on the smarm here. "Enjoy your drink."

"Now wait a minute!" he exclaimed as she began to move away. "Stay a while. It's not often I get the chance to chat with such a pretty thing."

"Thing?" she echoed, eyebrow askew.

He smiled in a way he must have thought was benign. "So tell me, are you single?"

She tried very hard to keep her expression neutral; she had figured this guy was batting for the other team.

Before she had composed herself enough to answer, however, movement caught her eye.

 _Tall_ movement. With spiky hair and a weird tie—oh, _great._

"I have to leave," she declared, moving away once more.

This time, however, Otogi caught her arm.

"Didn't I say to stay a while?" he asked.

"Let go of me."

"I'd do as she said," a guy in a maroon suit and hat said, appearing at the bar. She didn't know the face, but she recognized the voice—Skulduggery Pleasant, Idgy's husband. Before she could comment, he waved his hand in the air at someone behind him.

And with that, Yami Skellington himself arrived at the bar.

"There, I've found her for you," Skulduggery said, indicating her.

"Excuse me?" Teana asked.

"You're excused."

"You misunderstand."

"Ah. Idgy and I have a bet going, so I thought I'd get involved."

"What?"

"I'm a detective—I find things. By the by, I'd appreciate it if you turned him down—I win the bet that way."

Teana put her free hand to her head. "I'd like anyone and everyone magic-related to be out of my line of sight in the next five seconds."

"Can I apologize first?" Yami asked.

"No. And you, dice-ear—let me go, or I start screaming indecently."

"You should try for decently," Skulduggery counseled.

"I'll give you a free drink if you can get him to let go."

"I can get behind that."

And with that, Skulduggery squeezed Otogi's forearm, causing him to release her with a yelp.

"Okay, I want a shot of whatever's in that purple bottle," Skulduggery said, pointing. "I don't know what it is, but I figure if it's free, I can try something new."

"Coming right up," Teana said, stepping out of Otogi's reach before he could grab her again, massaging her arm before picking up the requested bottle.

"And what were _you_ doing?" Yami asked, addressing Otogi.

"And what concern is it of yours?" Otogi shot back.

Teana put a glass in front of Skulduggery and filled it up.

"Ah, cheers," Skulduggery said, before taking a sip.

Teana could have laughed at how his eyes went wide and cross-eyed. "That's," he rasped. "That's interesting. What's in that?"

"Anyone ever tell you that's _not_ how you treat a lady?" Yami asked.

"Anyone tell you to keep your nose out of other people's business?" Otogi retorted.

Teana looked over; it might have been a trick of the light, but it was like an umbra was forming around Yami.

It occurred to her that this was the first time she had actually seen him angry.

"I feel the necessity to teach you some manners," Yami said, struggling to maintain an even tone as he glowered at Otogi.

"Really? I would love to see you try," Otogi said, poking Yami in the chest with every word. "You…you pompous oaf!"

"Now _that's_ the pot calling the kettle black," Skulduggery said, massaging his face. "I can't feel my face—do I still have skin? I can't tell right now."

"Do you two mind taking this somewhere else?" Teana asked. "Respectable establishments such as this do not appreciate people taking a ride down the bar."

"A true pity. I think my eyes pickled, by the way."

Otogi, meanwhile, had turned to her. "No one was addressing you!"

That silly animation of a thermometer blowing its top would have described Yami very well just then. If he still had that hagsfiend guise, all his feathers would have been on end. He seized Otogi's shoulder, spun him around, cocked his fist ready to lay into him—

And then he glanced up at her—

And she could practically _hear_ her own voice in his head: _Head Mages don't brawl._

He glanced back down, saw that Otogi had recovered, and gave a wincing smile.

"Incoming," she heard him mutter.

And then Otogi socked him in the gut.

Yami folded in on the point of impact, breath leaving him in a big woosh, and then fell the rest of the way to the floor with a _thud._

Skullduggery looked down at him. "You're not supposed to do that, I'll have you know." Then, to Otogi: "I'm glad you did that. It is now my distinct pleasure to inform you that you've just assaulted the Head Mage, and in the presence of the Head Detective of the Branch to boot. You're under arrest for assault on _him_ , assault on _her,_ making poor fashion choices, and—I don't know, possibly littering. Please try to resist arrest—we can tack that on and I'll get some added entertainment out of the matter."

Otogi looked like he was planning to argue the point, then looked about, noticing the crowd watching. He surrendered without complaint.

"They never want to resist arrest," Skulduggery bemoaned, handcuffing Otogi and escorting him out.

Teana leaned over the bar. "Are you all right?" she asked.

"Ow," Yami moaned.

"Well that's not broken, at least. Get up, by the way—you're making a scene."

"I think I can taste my spleen."

"You're exaggerating."

"I'm tasting _something_ bile-flavored."

"He might have hit you hard enough to make you vomit."

"What a charming thought."

"He _did_ sock you in the stomach."

"What's going on here?" her manager asked, coming over.

"Do we have someone named Duke Otogi on tab here?" she asked.

"Yes, why? You take offense to him, too?"

"He just punched out the Head Mage."

Yami, fortunately, chose that moment to attempt to return to an upright position. Even with him trying to drag himself up the side of the bar, his distinctive hair and tie was evident.

She decided to use her manager's profuse apologizing as a cover to depart.

She had had quite enough of men for the night.


	31. Explanations

**Chapter 31, everybody! In which we encounter awkward emotions and…stuff. Uh…emotions are hard. :-|**

 **And yes, there really is a minimum height requirement to join the Rockettes—I'm about two inches too short. :-\**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yep—an absolute imbecile. Yes, it's a pity, but then Yami might have hurt his hand, and we don't want that. :) Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! :D I wasn't entirely sure about it, but it was fun to write, so there you go. :D**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! That makes two—Otogi might get knocked out after all. Yes it would, but that which is satisfying isn't always appropriate. I know! I think the Internet would really benefit from more people thinking twice and typing once. True—and yes, the ability to sleep anywhere seems directly linked to how comfortable it is for the person over how tired they are (sleep=comfort/exhaustion :D). Saying that, there are certain places where one is guaranteed to wake up with a crick in their neck. :P Hey, nice! An assignment that is quite certainly in danger of someone eating it…better keep an eye on it! ;)**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Harry Potter_** **© 1997 J.K. Rowling**

 ** _Fried Green Tomatoes_** **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet**

 ** _Guardians of Ga'Hoole_** **series © 2003 Kathryn Lasky**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 _ **Flubber**_ **© 1997 Les Mayfield (ironically, the quote I use is the movie quoting a** ** _different_** **movie :-\\)**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

"Teana! Wait! _Teana!"_

"You're making a scene again," Teana sighed, turning to see Yami Skellington running down the street towards her. With his cape streaming behind him and gangly limbs going everywhere, he made quite the sight.

Of course, he had made quite the sight when he was a few shades away from blowing his top, too.

He caught up with her, caught his breath (still winded from the punch, she figured) before talking.

"Is it all right if I get to the point I was going to say before… _that guy_?"

"Let me guess: you want to tell me you're sorry," Teana said.

"That was…very good, actually…."

"Do you even know what you're apologizing _for?"_

"I figured I offended you in some way…I'm actually hoping you'd tell me…."

"You're about to apologize for living longer than I will."

"Oh."

"You _really_ don't get it, do you?"

"Idgy explained some of it to me." He straightened up finally, looking down at her and looking like he'd start twisting his toe in the dirt. "Um…I…hadn't given death much thought, to be honest…."

That was in distinct contrast to her. "I figure Magicians don't," she said flatly. "Good night."

"Can't I—"

"Not tonight, Yami," Teana tossed over her shoulder. "And if I see some big bird on my windowsill, I'm throwing the neighbor's cat at it."

*/*\\*

Yami was startled out of his nap by sounds of pain.

He shoved Horus off of his eyes and sat up just in time to see his father come back, wearing a look of supreme irritation as he dragged a protesting Bakura along by his ear.

"Seriously?" Yami couldn't help but ask. "Dragging him in by his ear? People still do that?"

"It was either this or throw him in the dungeon," Greg said. "And I can't do that anymore."

"Can't you?" Bakura managed. "I want to see if I can't beat my best time."

Greg blew an aggravated sigh and pitched Bakura forward, pointing at the other chair by the desk as he did so. "Sit," he commanded.

Bakura did so, not immune to the vocal magic.

Yami counted the seconds to see how long it took for his father to compose himself. His eye twitched when he went past seventy. Ooh, this was going to _hurt_.

"Do I even _want_ to know," Greg asked slowly, jerky hand movements indicating he was trying to keep from a full-blown rant. "What you two were planning on doing?"

"We weren't planning anything," Yami said.

"We kind of make it up as we go," Bakura interjected.

 _"Bakura!"_

 _"Shut it, both of you!"_ Greg snapped. "Do you have _any_ concept about how this looks?"

Yami and Bakura both carefully shook their heads.

"Well since you're both playing dumb, let me enlighten you: it looks like you, Yami, were distracting me while you, Bakura, were sneaking into the Restricted Section and stealing spellbooks. That's enough to have you, Bakura, killed and banished; and you, Yami, stripped of every last ounce of magic you possess."

The boys flinched, shuddered, and crossed themselves. Death followed by the banishing of the deceased's bones was bad enough—those who suffered that fate would never rest in peace. It was heavily implied to be the final fate of Skellington and his cohorts.

Those who were stripped of their magic often went mad—for a Magician, magic was an integral part of them. _Losing_ that often took their minds as well. And then the slow wasting away that followed, the frantic scrabbling at any magical source, that often necessitated being relegated to an asylum to protect others—death was often a welcome experience.

"That…seems a little harsh," Bakura managed finally.

"That's because those books are restricted for a _reason_ ," Greg said. "And those who go in there to get them usually aren't well-adjusted people pursuing academics." He turned to Yami. "I know you're frustrated, but this is the absolute worst thing you could possibly do."

"I doubt that," Bakura muttered.

" _You_ be quiet before I hex you. Now, both of you—you are hereby banished from the Administration Building until I tell you otherwise. Bakura, if I see you, hear you, or even _smell_ you here again, I'll break your hands."

Bakura grimaced—for the thief, that was a punishment up there with death and banishment.

"Yami, no more excuses," Greg continued. "Unless someone in our immediate family is about to die, I don't want to see your spiky head anywhere _near_ this building. Are we clear?"

"Yes," Yami muttered.

"Transparently," Bakura groused.

"Good," Greg said, pointing to the door. "I'll walk you out."

"No need for—"

"There's very much a need for it—I want to make sure you go out and _stay_ out."

*\\*/*

Teana was almost finished with her shift at her noon job when the bell above the door dinged.

She glanced up in time to see Kineil rapidly cross the floor, pointing at her.

" _YOU,"_ Kineil stormed. "Fix Yami. _Now."_

Teana blinked, nonplussed, then winced as a phantom pain started. "Why?" she decided to ask. "Is he broken?"

Kineil rolled her eyes and gave an aggravated gesture; Teana's phantom pain went away, she noted. "In a way—he's _moping."_

"And?"

"And? He's insufferable! One day of this, and already I'm trying to figure out how to get away with killing him! He's just been wandering around the house—and you'd think with a house that size I'd be able to avoid him, but he's somehow in every room!" Kineil leaned against the counter, a look on her face saying something odd occurred to her. "I could probably open my closet and find him in there. What is this place, by the by?" she asked suddenly, looking around.

"It's for bookkeeping," Teana asked, unsure what to make of the change in topic.

"Does a Mordecai Heller work here?"

"I think he might have the shift after mine—I don't know."

"It would be before the night shift—he mentioned he had a day job, aside from the books at the Revue. Did you know there's two Hellers in Delvaire? Mordecai that Atlas imported and another one I got a hold of by mistake when I was calling the former. How common would you think a name like that would be, anyway?"

"I have no idea. Back to your problem: why don't you stay home?"

"I already told you."

"Why is Yami at _your_ house?"

"Because I live at his. I used to room with the boys—Heph and Vul—but they blew it up. So now we're living with Yami until a renter somewhere is daft enough to rent to us."

"Why were you living with two men?"

"Because I like to live fast and loose. Get your mind out of the gutter already. And go fix Yami."

"Would he have happened to explain _why_ he was moping?"

"I got the story out of Idgy."

Idgy again. "Let me guess, you placed a bet."

" _I_ didn't—conflict of interests on my account."

"Did Yami send you?"

Kineil barked out a laugh. "Please—if _he_ had sent me, I would have come in with _much_ more flowery prose: 'Yami asked me to ask you if you would be so kind'…bunk like that. No, he's too busy walking around the house in a daze."

"I suppose a return statement is out of the question."

"Call him yourself. My intent is to either drag _you_ to _him,_ or him to you. Besides, it's too easy for you to hang up with a phone conversation."

"Maybe you ought to mend his feelings—it'd be best for him to be with another Magician, anyway."

Kineil glared at her, prompting that phantom pain to start up again.

"Miss Wicks," Teana pressed, leaning on her elbows and hoping that pain wasn't her appendix. "Think about it, since it's obvious Yami didn't and you seem accomplished in explaining things in small words to him: Magician life expectancies tend towards millennia. Commoner life expectancies tend toward a couple of centuries at most. It wouldn't work."

"I already told him he ought to get a record of you saying that," Kineil said. "It'd save the rest of us some grief."

"Then please, go inform him."

"You're coming with me if I do."

"I think you can handle him."

"Ha!"

"So it's not just him—all Magicians are like this."

"And what makes you think I'm a Magician?"

"Orange eyes, for starters?"

Kineil looked remarkably amused by that statement. "Oh, these? Anyone can get those, if they're willing to make the trip. And they may make me an inherently magical being, but according to the Administrators, I am _not_ a Magician—I don't meet the minimum requirement."

"Do what?"

"I know, right? Apparently, there's a minimum magical threshold that you have to pass in order to be considered a Magician—like how there's a minimum height requirement in order to join the Rockettes."

"Why?"

"I guess so there's not a nice even line and then a dip—"

"No, why a minimum magical threshold? How do they even _measure_ that?"

"So they can properly and further separate the Commoners from the Magicians—like design aesthetics don't do that already. And I don't know, by the way. But back to brass tacks—fix Yami. Before I violate the Sixth Commandment."

"You haven't already?"

"Your confidence in me is appalling."

"Fix him yourself," Teana said, punching out, picking up her coat, and leaving.

Kineil pursued. "No, I _can't_ fix him—don't you think I've tried? I'm coming to _you_ because I figure _you_ can fix him. And you're good for him, to be honest."

"He's not good for me," Teana returned.

"And why not?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because I want him to have what he wants—even if it means you instead of me."

Teana stopped, turned to face Kineil, who had also stopped and was now looking very uncomfortable.

"I…uh," Kineil noised, arms flopping helplessly at her sides. "I…never looked because…and well, you don't want to ruin a friendship over that sort of thing. And then he never really…he's always viewed me as his little sister—he's always wanted one, apparently. And then you come along…and that was the end of that." Here Kineil looked at Teana directly. "I don't know a thing about love—if I did, I would have done something by now. I didn't do anything, but I still care for him—and at this point, this is the only way I can think of to make him feel better."

Teana stared. "Didn't—didn't you ever _say_ anything?"

"Weren't you listening? No—I like being friends with Yami, and the longer I didn't say anything, the more I realized it's probably more of a crush than anything else. If I said something and it didn't pan out, we'd be doomed to awkwardly avoiding each other—kind of like how you're doing."

Teana pondered this.

"Tell him," Teana said finally. "That I'm not built for relationships. I've had them fall apart before, and I don't want to risk it again."

"Tell. Yami. Yourself," Kineil stressed. "I'm not the messenger."

"Then why are you here?"

"I told you this."

Kineil turned on her heel and left.

"Tell him how you feel about him!" Teana yelled after her.

"You first!" Kineil shot back.

Teana blinked, then walked away, passing a man with dark hair and round glasses.

"Sometimes, I wonder why I left Norkyew," the guy said.

"Mordecai?" Teana guessed. The guy nodded. "Any suggestions?"

"My plan was to try a mirror next, to bounce that glare of hers back at her."

"Anything else?"

"Move."

And with that, Mordecai entered the bookkeepers, leaving Teana with the worry that that was really the only feasible option left.

This sort of thing was so much easier in fiction, she decided.


	32. Out the Door

**Chapter 32, everyone! In which discourse happens, and the writer discovers that Bruce Willis can actually sing—go figure. And happy Presidents' Day, everybody. :)**

 **And for the record, our house is one of those places that are hazardous for tall people. :D**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, they are…and hopefully not—and maybe. And oh good—glad to know things are starting to make more sense. :D Yeah, emotions are hard (I kept going over that chapter to try and make sure it didn't sound cheesy). I…don't know, actually….And maybe. :)**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Ha! That probably** ** _did_** **happen—and he probably tripped over an ottoman for good measure. XD Oh, I'm sure** ** _someone_** **will give him his just desserts….True…and true—waking up with a "where the bleep am I?" moment strikes me as a good example. At least it made it to the class—it might not be completely pointless, though: you could be looking at a question on a test and say "Hey, didn't I bake a cake about that?" (and cake-baking is a practical application of chemistry anyway, so win).**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Ah, glad to know you're enjoying things thus far. :D And glad to know you're expanding your perusals because of it! We'll be having another reference to** ** _Don't Starve_** **in this chapter too. I look forward to it! And thank you! I'm glad you like my style! :D**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 _ **Criminal Minds**_ **© 2005 Jeff Davis (the other side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 _ **Don't Starve**_ **© 2013 Klei Entertainment (say, pal…)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (not sure if I mentioned it before, but the concept of Head Mages comes from that series)**

 _ **The Sorcerer's Apprentice**_ **© 2010 Jon Turteltaub (the reference to magic relating to electricity)**

 ** _Age of Fire_** **series © 2005 E.E. Knight (the town of Tumbledown that gets a reference)**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

"Great. Just _great,_ " Yami spat at Bakura as they descended the steps of the Administration Building. "My Dad's furious at me thanks to _you."_

"Hey, don't blame me," Bakura countered. "This was _your_ idea!"

"My idea? How was any of this _my_ idea?"

"You subtly implied that I go in there and steal a few books while—"

"I specifically told you _not_ to! How on earth are you so dun-headed as to get a _yes_ from a _no?"_

"Come to think of it, that's what my last girlfriend said to me before we broke up," Bakura mused.

"I'm not talking to you anymore," Yami sighed, stomping off.

"She said that too. And where are _you_ going?" Bakura called after him.

"To talk to somebody who makes _sense_ ," Yami retorted.

"You _must_ know my ex-girlfriend—she said _that_ too."

*\\*/*

Teana was stopped at the punch-in clock of the Highball Bar by her manager.

"There's someone here who wants to see you," he informed her.

"Is this someone a Magician?"

"It's the Head Mage."

Well, at least it wasn't Otogi. But to get back to the matter: _ugh._ "Would you mind too terribly if I ran out the door as fast as I can?"

"You wouldn't have a job here."

"That seems a little harsh."

"If you don't see him, I don't get my office back."

"Isn't it _your_ office?"

"It's hard to compete with that sort of presence. And then I'd have to make small talk."

"Maybe you could put a lampshade on his head and a lightbulb in his mouth."

"My office. _Now."_

Teana heaved a sigh and headed for said office. Joy.

Although to be honest, she _did_ enjoy walking in on Yami trying to sit in a chair that was obviously too short for him.

"Oh hi," Yami said, trying to get up. "Uh, hold on…."

He levered himself out and then promptly bonked his head on the overhead light.

"I'm beginning to see a means of avoiding you entirely from now on," Teana mused.

"It's like they don't make these places with tall people in mind," Yami moaned, rubbing the top of his head.

"Why _are_ you in a place that's much too short for you?"

"Because Mr. Tern—which is a weird name for him because he's much too wide to even _resemble_ a tern—he noticed me loitering around and suggested I wait in here once I explained _why_ I was loitering around—"

"I can't afford to lose another job."

"But you're not _going_ to lose another job—wait, how many do you _have?"_

 _"My_ money hasn't accrued _interest_ yet."

"Oh, right, that. I think that's a little unfair, to be honest—I could drop dead tomorrow; the millennia thing is just an estimate."

Teana tried very hard to ignore the shiver that went down her spine. "I don't think you and I are a good idea."

"If I recall, you said I had a year. Besides, I haven't taken you to the Revue yet! It's got a lot more class than this place—and a lot less of guys with ponytails."

"I think I'll take my chances."

"Are you sure? I saw ponytail-guy in there earlier—I think he's loitering around too."

"I love how I'm doomed to have annoying Magicians bother me."

"I can be less annoying."

"I don't think so."

"I could take classes for that. They have classes for that, right?"

"You're killing me here."

"Please? I'm begging." Here he went down on his knees. "And I'm not even making a scene, because there's no one else here to see."

"That doesn't work on me."

"What does, then?"

"Abstinence?"

"What luck! I've got that in droves."

"Maybe I'm the one abstaining from men."

"Oh, for crying out loud!"

They turned at the sound of the new voice as Mr. Tern swung the door open and pointed at Teana. "You, go with him," he ordered, pointing at Yami. "And you: I don't want any more brawling around here."

"I think for it to have been a brawl, I would have had to do more than just be a punching bag," Yami pointed out.

"I'm not talking about last night—I'm talking about today!"

Teana looked at Yami, who looked sheepish.

"I, uh, may have had some _words_ with the ponytail-guy," Yami said.

"I just now finished replacing the lightbulbs you blew," Mr. Tern said. "Now out, both of you—out of my office, and out of my bar."

"Am I still employed?" Teana decided to ask.

"Consider this time off. Now _out!_ I want my office back!"

Teana waited until they were out the front doors before turning to Yami.

"You blew all the lights in the bar?" she asked.

"The bar _area_ ," Yami corrected. "The ones in the dining area were just fine."

"Why the lights?"

"Something about magic and electrical impulses. But since we're out and about, come along and I'll tell you all about it on the way to the Revue."

*/*\\*

"Say, pal, you don't look so good."

"What do you want, Carter?" Greg asked, not looking up from the spot on his desk he was currently glaring at. If he had any ocular magic, it would have destroyed the desk by now.

"I'm supposed to be seeing if you have those files on that Massenborough potion still done yet," Administrator Carter said, leaning against the doorjamb and lighting another cigar. Despite his height, there was still a few feet of clearance given in the door, to accommodate those whose height was accentuated by their magic. Powerful Magicians were made taller by their magic, although no one knew quite how it worked—some theorized that the magic affected their frames so they could better handle the energy, but it was just conjecture.

It might explain why Skellington's height had been clocked in at seven-foot-seven.

"Say, pal, did I lose you?"

Greg blinked; realized Administrator Carter was still waiting for an answer. "I sent those files up to Grand Agent Hotchner," he replied. "Despite being used for potions, illegal brewing in stills is still a matter for the Civil Branch."

Administrator Carter made a dismissive noise.

"And you're still here because?" Greg decided to ask.

"Because I don't have anything better to do," Administrator Carter returned, waving his cigar around. "And because Sumbinix is looking for me."

Greg stared. "So you're _here_ because?..."

"Because he's looking for _me_ ," Administrator Carter said, tapping a finger to his chest. "Which means he'll be sitting in my office waiting for me, because he knows better than to send a page after me."

Probably because the _last_ page sent calling for Administrator Carter had ended up three towns over, in the ruins of Tumbledown near Dais Run. And apparently, on his way to Dais Run to charter passage home, he had run into several problems, from shadow hounds in the countryside to feral cats and giant rats in the town proper, and apparently some sort of tar-beast on top of all that.

The page had promptly quit upon making it back, and every page down in page-ville knew to avoid Administrator William Maxwell Carter from then on.

"I had wondered why you picked an office in the page warrens," Greg said finally.

"And the best part of it is, not only does he have to loiter around in there, they'll probably have to grease the doors in order to get him back out."

"Ah," Greg said, simply because he had nothing else _to_ say. Administrator Carter was a conundrum—if he did anything, it was generally for his own amusement.

Sometimes he wondered if Administrator Carter didn't see himself as a puppeteer pulling the strings on everyone else. He certainly knew how to make others dance when it pleased him.

But that could work both ways too.

"Well, since you're busy avoiding Head Administrator Sumbinix, maybe you can make yourself useful," Greg said, ripping off a page from a notepad he had been scribbling on. "I need some files to cross-reference this case I'm working on—get these from the library, will you?"

"And why would I do _that?"_

"Well, right now you'd do that because I asked nicely. In a few minutes, you'll do it because the Head Mage told you to."

Administrator Carter pondered that for a moment. "Fine," he sighed, crossing over and snatching the paper away. "But only because I don't have anything better to do at the moment."

"Thanks, Max."

"Whatever."

And with that, Administrator Carter fell through his own shadow, and vanished.

Despite having grown used to the phenomenon, Greg couldn't help but lean over his desk to examine the patch of floor Administrator Carter had vanished through.

"Now _that's_ how to commute," Greg observed, before flopping back into his chair.

Now if only Greg's current problem with Yami would be kind enough to vanish in such a way.


	33. For Revue

**Chapter 33, everyone! In which dinner is had and files are delivered….We also get passing references to the Lackadaisy playing cards Tracy J. Butler has been working on and off on (which I am going to buy when they're finished and put on sale—they are** ** _gorgeous_** **), and Grand Prix Boss, a Pokémon owned by MasamuneRevolution over on DeviantArt in the group PKMNation—it's a nice double-reference, as they name all their Pokémon after race horses. ;)**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes she did! Eh, more like the boss was tired of the dithering and wanted his office back. :) Yes indeed! He could—well…picture Jack Skellington from** ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **with Yami-hair. And true—this is Yami and Yugi's dream come true: "** ** _I can finally reach the top shelf without help!"_** **Good question—he might be trying; dad-stuff and all. :D**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Well, let me put it this way: you ever see those bibs with the phrase "What is this** ** _no_** **word you speak of?" Bakura probably deserves one. Yes…and it doubles as a nice** ** _Dick Van Dyke Show_** **reference for good measure. Oh, most definitely—and it will be a good day. :D (was never that fond of Duke in the show, to be honest…). Yes…I like to think that it's because my memory's full of my stories and Ph.D. stuff, because the alternative is worrying about memory loss a good fifty years before I** ** _might_** **get it. Yes, but unusual stuff linked with learning tends to work quite well—there are studies on it! I have read them! I** ** _had_** **to read them for class! They exist! Plus, cake makes everything better (including video games—just look at** ** _Portal_** **).**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 _ **Malice**_ **© 2009 Chris Wooding**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment (say, pal…)**

 ** _Quantum Leap_ ©** **1989 Belisarius Productions ("To put right where once went wrong….")**

 _ **Harry Potter**_ **© 1997 J.K. Rowling**

 _ **Septimus Heap**_ **© 2005 Angie Sage (this and** ** _Harry Potter_** **help form the library)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (not sure if I mentioned it before, but the concept of Head Mages comes from that series)**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

"Behold! The Lackadaisy Revue."

"Ah. I've seen this place before."

"But have you been _in_ it?" Yami Skellington asked, putting an arm around Teana and propelling her towards the door. It was quite the sight—especially considering the brownstone would have looked remarkably normal if it weren't for Jake Hemlock's elaborate art deco painting adorning the front.

Mitzi had told him it was money well spent. Especially considering no one dared deface it—Tall Jake Hemlock had a tendency to break kneecaps if someone ruined his work.

"Do I _have_ to go in it?" Teana asked, putting on the brakes. "It looks ostentatious."

"Only on the outside. And a little on the inside," Yami admitted. "But it has its charms," he added as he knocked on the door—he had playing cards with the same detail as the door, a little side-sell that Mitzi had hired Jake on for.

"Such as?"

"Our dear doorman Horatio. See? Hello Horatio," Yami greeted as Horatio opened the door. He flipped a lapel forward, revealing a small club suit pin.

Horatio, the Lackadaisy doorman, perpetuated his best impression of a very agreeable, roly-poly cat as he waved them in. "Yami, you know you don't really have to do that," Horatio said. "Your hair and that tie is ID enough. Hello," he added to Teana, bowing slightly.

"Hello," Teana said. "No offense, but I thought doormen were supposed to be intimidating—or at least, look the part."

"I know," Horatio said, sagging a little as he closed the door behind them. "I think they got my job and Viktor's mixed up."

"Who?" Teana asked as Horatio turned to answering the knock at the door and Yami escorted her down the short hall.

"Viktor Vasko. This charming fellow," Yami said, pointing at the one-eyed brute behind the bar immediately to the right. "Hello Viktor—how are the guineas?"

"Not running today," Viktor growled, not looking up from his paper. "But horses look good—I maybe bet on Grand Prix Boss one."

"I think Horatio is right," Teana said. "They got those jobs mixed up."

"Maybe," a new voice rejoined. "But Viktor has bad knees, so he can't kick people out as effectively anymore."

They turned to look as Mitzi May, co-proprietor of the Revue, sashayed up.

"And besides," Mitzi continued. "No one argues with Viktor when he says they've had enough to drink. Hello, honey, you must be Teana. I must say, it's good to see you."

"Thanks?" Teana noised, accepting Mitzi's handshake.

"This is Mitzi May," Yami said, introducing them. "And yes, Mitzi, this is Teana—I've been telling her all about the Revue."

"Only the legal stuff, I hope," Mitzi said, escorting them to a seat equidistant from the dance floor and Viktor's bar. She produced a card and set it on the table.

"Um…."

"He's usually more discerning than this," Mitzi said to Teana in an undertone. Then, at normal volume: "I'll get a few menus and a waiter sent over here—I'd love to chat a bit, but I have to tend to the Board. On that note, don't be surprised if Atlas seems dismayed upon seeing you," she added as she sashayed off.

Yami shrugged at Teana before pulling a chair out for her. "Atlas must have lost a bet," Yami supplied as she sat down.

"Does that happen often?" Teana asked.

"He's fortunate he makes his money in other venues," Yami said, taking his own seat. "Oh, hi Kineil."

Kineil leaned around Yami's chair and released his bangs. "So you finally show up," she declared. "And with Teana too—hello."

"You seem more civil this time around," Teana observed.

"I have reason to—plus, I get to be the bearer of bad news to our dear friend Maxwell. _Max!"_ she bellowed, crossing over to an armchair a few tables over and slapping the back of a newspaper. "You lost a bet!"

"So what else is new?" Max asked her, not lowering the newspaper.

Yami tried very hard not to fidget as Teana took a slow take his way.

"It's a thing," he decided upon finally. "So….What would you like for dinner?"

*/*\\*

Maxwell popped out of a shadow right behind the page charged with monitoring the traffic in and out of the Administrator Library. Popping directly into the library was unwise, considering it would result in disintegration.

Besides, this was more fun.

"Boo," Maxwell said, leaning in to hiss in the page's ear.

It had the desired effect—the page was off like a shot, Maxwell cackling in glee as he fled.

Ah, how aggravating, that this was what his life was reduced to.

He went off in search of the errant files, musing that if the minor Yami had _really_ desired something in this library, he probably would have gotten it by now. Or maybe he was putting too much stock in the kid.

He mused over the whole thing as he collected the necessary files. Ah, if only his conscience, tattered as it was, would let him up and walk away.

He was already turning to leave when something occurred to him.

Well…there may be _some_ way to right what once went wrong.

And, obliquely, give the other Administrators the shaft.

He strode back through the library, meandering through the increasingly dark warrens (kept so to keep the rowdier spellbooks under control) until he was past even the Restricted Section and into a room that even the Head Mage barely knew about—which was probably just as well, considering this was where the information on every person convicted and punished by the Administrators was stored.

He reached a filing cabinet marked with the appropriate year—the fact that it had taken him a few moments' walking to reach was concerning—pulled it open, and began examining the file names in the dim light. They weren't in any particular order, probably due to no one coming in here—no need to sort what no one saw. _Wicks; Taylor; Wheeler; Rickaby; May, A. + M.; Pleasant, S. + I.; Hemlock…._

 _Skellington…._

Ah, there.

He pulled out a file, stuffed it in between the other files, and shut the cabinet before heading straight back out, waving the door shut behind him.

A few moments later saw him back outside the library, still page-less. He felt very pleased with that accomplishment.

"Carter!"

Ah, but of course—the page had gone running, and word had gotten to Sumbinix. On the positive side, thank you, Montgau.

"Ooh, I'd _love_ to stay and chat," Maxwell said, holding up a finger and turning a smarmy grin on Sumbinix. "But I've got some files to deliver, and you've got a wig to straighten out. Ta!"

And with that, he departed through his shadows before Sumbinix could compose himself enough to issue an order.

The pleasure in the evasion was tempered with the knowledge that he'd end up buttonholed by the Head Administrator sooner or later.

But for now, time to have a little fun sowing some chaos—he wondered if he didn't perhaps have a strain of it that had somehow survived the Great Dearth.

And maybe he'd be able to banish some of that pesky guilt as well.

So it was with his customary broad, toothy grin that he deposited with a slam the stack of files on Montgau's desk—the man was still glaring at his ink blotter like it had wronged him somehow, and the resulting startled jump only added to Maxwell's glee.

"Special delivery," he announced.


	34. Dinner and a Show

**Chapter 34, everyone! In which Teana's opinions on politicians is revealed and we please quite a few people by finally giving Otogi his just desserts. :)**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, that would make things go more smoothly—except for the fact that Yami has friends who pick locks. And he has a** ** _lot_** **of friends—he's one of those personalities. Very sneaky—not right away, but we'll be getting more hints here and there before big emotional explosions happen. :)**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Ah, a pity….Count yourself lucky that you don't get junk mail-order magazines in the mail (we get them because of Mom's shop). Yeah…I think at first they tried to have him be a cheap Kaiba to have an attempt at a new story arc, and then he was demoted to Tristan's rival for Serenity's affections. His story was a bit darker in the manga, but he never seemed to do much after that—although I** ** _was_** **happy to see him during the kidnapping scene in the Battle City story arc during the anime. I think so—just look at** ** _Inside Out_** **: those little mind workers throw out the old memories and keep the annoying gum commercials. :P See? Maybe next you should make cookies with M &Ms making molecule shapes. :D**

 **FicReader, thanks for the reviews! You're welcome—kind of picked that up from BlackRoseDragonCK, because it struck me as a nice thing to do. :) Good questions, as those who do not remember the past are doomed to repeat it….Yes, they are—haha, understandable slip, since I keep referencing the Harry Potter series in this. The Ministry of Magic would be across the ocean from the Administration in this world, I think. Perhaps he is….And he could, but that'd be a bit too abrupt, since Maxwell has never had occasion to talk to Yami M., and he doesn't seem to be able to come out direct and talk about it….Definitely bored, and definitely his motivation—he's not happy unless someone else isn't. Good question! I've always pronounced it "Mont-gow" with a hard** ** _t_** **, but I like your pronunciation. :)**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment (say, pal…)**

 ** _Beetlejuice_ ****© 1988 Tim Burton**

 _ **Fried Green Tomatoes**_ **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages comes from that series)**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

As promised, Mitzi had returned to converse, but it wasn't long before such a discussion was interrupted by Horatio bustling over.

"Madam May?" Horatio noised. "Uh, there's a guy here without a pin, and he's being very insistent upon being let in…."

Mitzi sighed elaborately. "Maybe if you ask Viktor nicely he'll go growl at him for you."

"I, uh, did. He growled at _me."_

"Viktor!" Mitzi yelled. "I thought we discussed this!"

"We did!" Viktor yelled back. "I did not break his kneecaps!"

"Is this normal?" Teana asked, silently hoping the answer would be _no._

"It is for…what day is today?" Yami asked.

"Tuesday," Mitzi said. Then, to Horatio: "Do you know who it is?"

"No, but he gave me a card," Horatio said, handing it over to her.

Mitzi held it delicately between two fingers and looked at it. "Duke Otogi. Well, I wonder if it's a royalty-duke or a name-duke. What is it, dear?" she asked, looking up at Teana's moan.

"And I had enjoyed dinner, too," Teana muttered.

"He's a pest," Yami said to Mitzi. "Don't—"

Teana looked over at his abrupt stop—he looked struck by an idea.

"Actually, let him in," Yami said.

Mitzi shrugged and handed the card back to Horatio. "Do as he says, Horatio," she ordered.

"What are you doing?" Teana asked.

"I'll be right back," Yami said, standing up and hustling off.

"Charming. I may have to go prep Viktor for heavy lifting," Mitzi said, heading off at a pace slightly faster than sashay.

Teana was left feeling very confused, and settled for watching the door for the inevitable wave of smarm and glancing about to see exactly what Yami was up to—

There he was—he had come up behind Kineil, who was chatting with a young boy from the band. Yami had both hands on her shoulders and was saying something to her, punctuated by one long finger pointing when Otogi finally entered.

Kineil leaned, looked, then looked back to Yami, grinning a Chaos grin as she said something to him.

She trotted off, heading for Otogi as Yami strode back to Teana's table. Teana couldn't help but drum her fingers as he arrived.

Yami paused for a moment upon returning, as though considering his actions, before sitting down across from her.

"Should I feel bad about siccing Kineil on that guy?" he asked her.

"Probably," she told him.

"Your expression says you don't quite agree with your decision."

"I would _dearly_ love to be a fly on the wall. Don't grant that wish, by the way."

"You wouldn't want to be a fly."

"You're not saying that from experience, are you?"

The expression on Yami's face said it all.

"Tell me, and be honest," she said, shifting her weight in her chair. "How often do you actually think your actions through?"

"Idgy says I have a tendency to go off on a half-baked scheme."

"That's actually being generous."

"Can I ask you _why_ you're so dismissive of me?"

"You can."

"Would you answer if I did?"

"Probably not."

"Not even if I asked nicely?"

Teana fiddled with her fingers, considering.

"I…don't have any luck with men," she decided on finally—it was a partial truth, at least. "I've learned that it's better to avoid them altogether."

He blinked at her, glanced away; when he looked back, he looked a tad…concerned, she was going to say.

"Should… _Kineil_ be worried?" he asked finally.

"Do you ever think before you speak, or do you like the taste of your own foot?"

"Maybe I should stop while I'm behind."

"Good idea. And no, Kineil has nothing to worry about—unless the maggot from the other night hexes her."

"He won't get the chance—Kineil has a tendency to steamroll people she doesn't like."

 _That_ she could believe. "All she really has to go on is your opinion of him."

"She'll form her own opinion of him quickly enough."

Teana was ready to ask why when raucous laughter sounded. She glanced over to see Kineil chasing a panicked Otogi through the Revue, an event that presented an alarming _lack_ of alarm—some people actually started taking bets.

" _That_ you should probably stop," she informed Yami, pointing.

Yami looked. "Oh that? She's fine—"

 _"Get back here, you little weasel!"_ Kineil yelled.

"…mostly."

The chase was abruptly cut short by Maxwell, of all people, who—without looking up from his paper—stretched a leg out so Otogi tripped. Kineil descended upon him like a hawk going in for the kill.

"Thanks Max," Kineil tossed, yanking Otogi up. "Want in on this?"

"Ooh, love to, but I have a paper I want to finish," Maxwell commented.

"I'd let you watch."

"I'm sure we'll hear the screams."

"True." With that, she applied a chokehold to Otogi. "You and I, little man? We're going to have some laughs," she said into his ear, teeth bared in a savage grin. "Hey Beej!" she shouted. "Give me a hand here!"

And with that, she dragged him out through what must have been an alley entrance, some guy in a black-and-white striped suit helping her.

Teana watched them go before looking at Yami.

Yami looked back. "I really don't want to get in the middle of that," he said, pointing. "Kineil might hurt me."

"I'm concerned about the fact that you have friends who would injure people on your behalf. She _is_ going to stop before she kills him, yes?"

Yami raised a hand and opened his mouth, looking like he was getting ready to say _of course_ , but stopped before he did, obviously pondering the situation.

He sagged, sighing, before he got up and started for the door. " _Kineil!"_ he called.

"Let them go for a few more minutes!" Mitzi called. "Viktor's helping—it's good for him."

"Marvelous," Atlas said. As soon as Yami left, he turned to the rest of the Revue. "Okay! How many teeth does she knock out first? Bets are open."

Teana pondered this before standing up and heading for the main entrance.

"And where are _you_ going?" Maxwell asked as she passed by, not looking up from his paper.

She allowed herself a moment to ponder whether or not he had cut peepholes into the paper before answering. "Why?" she asked. "Are you going to report me back to your boss?"

 _That_ prompted the newspaper to drop so he could look at her properly. "Oooh, such _sass_ ," he countered—although he was grinning at her, she saw nothing pleasant about the expression. He was the sort to have fun at other people's expense, she felt. "I do wonder what he sees in you that's made him go stupid like he has."

She decided not to give his comment an answer, instead opting to walk away.

"Oh, so you _do_ have something for him," Maxwell continued, tapping his cigar ashes into the ashtray-stand beside him. "And yet you're searching for every excuse _not_ to. I wonder why. I mean, that's even a side-bet on the board. You know what I'm putting money on, though?" he added, leaning around his chair as she continued away and raising his voice a little. "I bet you think this is a thing Magicians do—adopt charity cases from the _wait staff."_

Teana stopped, turned, crossed back to Maxwell—

Snatched up his drink, and flung it in his face.

"While I have your silence for a few moments, allow me to make a few things perfectly clear," she spat. "I have no interest in mingling in the affairs of Magicians—as far as I'm concerned, you're a bunch of self-centered… _nincompoops_ who'd rather have solid-gold bathtubs than look beyond your noses to see what's going on with the everyman!" She was aware of the Revue growing _very_ quiet. "And you know what else? Yes, I think you see Commoners as charity cases, and that by helping one or two, that makes you a good person. And then you have the indecency to be surprised when we're smart enough to figure it out! And then the knowledge that you're going to be doing this sort of thing over the course of _several_ generations? You _sicken me!"_

"Max has that effect."

Teana jumped at the voice by her shoulder and looked to see Mitzi standing next to her, holding a bottle up. "And dear," Mitzi continued. "He may deserve it, but when you throw booze in his face, use the cheap stuff."

"Glad you think I'm not worth it," Maxwell muttered, fishing a handkerchief out and wiping his face down.

Teana shook her head, turned—

And saw Yami, who, judging by his expression, had heard her every word.

"Thank you for your hospitality," Teana said to Mitzi.

And then she headed for the door as quickly as possible.


	35. Ideas on the Books

**Chapter 35, everyone! In which Yami visits a library and Kineil and company question the wisdom of letting certain people get around….Erm….Well, it's the sort of thing we discuss at home when the news presents some of our…less illustrious…things….You know what? Just ignore me. :|**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, they do! Good question….Yes, at least it wasn't Yami. And eh…he sort of deserved it, but he didn't deserve** ** _that_** **much…but Kineil needed the exercise (and terribly enough, this probably wasn't the first time Yami's ever sicced Kineil on someone).**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! I know, right? But Maxwell does tend to have that effect….She most definitely has—so Yami's happy-go-lucky personality grates on her because she's expecting him to have an angle. Oh did you? Was it in my DeviantArt gallery? (Should probably be mentioning in the author's notes that this story** ** _does_** **have illustrations there—oops ^^;).**

 **Thanks for the review, guest-who-sounds-like-Fromtheashtrees! Yes—I tend to be exceptionally quiet in real life because I've had a few of those moments myself. ^^; Ah…ours acts as tinder and things-for-birds-to-chew-on after we pull the staples out (they're very much like the magazines on the airplane—cool stuff that serves no real purpose). Ah, I've never mentioned? She's a hairdresser—runs her own salon (I have my own personal stylist!). :) Yeah…I think those chapters were Takahashi maybe trying to get away from Duel Monsters for a while, but obviously that failed. Same here—the duels were cool when they first aired (and I was a very easily entertained preteen, I suppose), but it got kind of ridiculous after a while (although it would have been hilarious to see the anime people try to animate a different game—dramatic Uno, anyone?). heheheh—oh wait, it's stuck in mine too. :| Yes…lately I check to see if the latest animated movie from Disney or Pixar has John Lasseter attached to it—it generally guarantees an above-average movie, and Pixar has always been good for generating good movies (mostly because they take so long on hashing out the story—I think I read that** ** _Inside Out_** **went through at least a dozen rewrites). And now we get** ** _Finding Dory_** **—here's hoping it's good. Definitely—and that is where my response to your review ends because AOL Mail truncated it and I can't see it yet on FanFiction. Darn you, technology! D:**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment (say, pal…)**

 ** _Beetlejuice_** **© 1988 Tim Burton**

 ** _Fried Green Tomatoes_** **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages comes from that series)**

 ** _Harry Potter_** **© 1997 J.K. Rowling**

 ** _Septimus Heap_** **© 2005 Angie Sage (this and** ** _Harry Potter_** **help form the library)**

 ** _Hollow Fields_** **© 2007 Madeleine Rosca (Miss Binder is kind of based on a discarded design for Miss Rickets)**

 ** _Guardians of Ga'Hoole_** **© 2003 Kathryn Lasky (Miss Binder is also sort of based on Madame Plonk)**

 ** _Flowers in the Attic_** **© 1979 V.C. Andrews (if this story references an attic, it's guaranteed there'll be a reference to** ** _Flowers in the Attic_** **—absolutely** ** _weird_** **series, by the way)**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Yami strode for the Delvaire Public Library, feeling a bit better for walking off most of his aggravation at the day's events.

Now if only things would improve.

On the positive side, he _did_ have something good to look forward to.

"Hello?" he called upon entering the library. Surprisingly, his voice didn't echo—it barely _carried_ —but someone who reminded him very much of a big snowy owl obliged him with the standard _shush_.

"Sorry," Yami said, adopting a stage whisper. "Is Anzu here?"

The big snowy owl puffed up. "And who wants to know?" it— _she_ asked.

"Uh…me, I suppose?"

"Do you have a library card?"

Yami patted his pockets. "Ah…no….Wait—it's back home. Give me a minute."

He doffed Horus, stuck his arm in—

And before he did, opened up a miniature portal that ended just above his desk in his room. Feel around—gotcha!

"Here you go," he said, handing the card over.

She accepted it and read it; Yami noted the fox fur. "This says 'Yuki Montgau.'"

"Oops," he said, snatching it back quickly. "That's my little brother's—I told him to keep his stuff off my desk—"

"I take it you're the elder Montgau son?"

"Yes?"

She nodded, smiling. "For future reference, dear, just tell me you're her boyfriend Yami and you'd like to see her. She's in the back."

"Oh…all right, thanks," Yami said, feeling distinctly confused as he put Horus back on and headed further into the library.

Within a few moments, he found Anzu, stamping the backs of library books.

"That looks tedious," Yami observed, startling her into stamping the inkblotter.

"Yami!" she squawked, before remembering where she was. "What are you doing here?"

"What, you can drop in on me but I can't drop in on you?"

She gestured, a little helplessly. "Well, I see your point, but…I'm at work."

"I know—I think I ran into your supervisor."

"Miss Binder?"

"Is she the one that looks like an owl?"

"Yes."

"Then yes, I ran into her."

"I'm not sure what to make of that. So am I the only reason you're here?"

"Let me guess: you've heard the news."

"I tried to call you, but the lines were all busy."

"That would be the gossip grapevine, apparently."

"You're headline news, it seems."

"Excuse me," a nasally voice said. Yami turned to see a short stack with green hair and ridiculously large glasses behind him. "But if you're quite done, I'd like to check this book out."

"Go ahead," Yami said, gesturing. The short boy put the book on the desk for Anzu's perusal. "Say, aren't you that Weevil kid? At Hallowed Fields?"

"Who wants to know?"

"My brother says you've been turning buttons into beetles."

Short Stack puffed up at that. "Yes—quite impressive, don't you think?"

In response, Yami doffed Horus and tossed him up into the air. He came back down, landed on a stack of books, and sorted a few feathers out.

"Oh yes," Yami said blandly. "Very impressive."

Short Stack left, dejected, a few moments later.

"I think you took the wind out of his sails," Anzu observed.

"I gave him something to shoot for," Yami countered.

"I suppose now you have something to shoot for too, right?"

"Cheers, thanks for reminding me. You don't happen to have any spellbooks, do you?"

"You wouldn't want them," she said. "The ones we have are mostly basic stuff that everyday people use. We have some stronger ones, but they're in the Restricted Section."

"What is it with every library having a restricted section?"

"Ours is due to having books that _really_ need to see a book doctor."

"Ouch."

"Yeah—it's starting to get crowded." She finished up her stack and set the books aside. With uncanny timing, Miss Binder came up and deposited a fresh stack.

"Dear, why don't you take your lunch break a little early?" Miss Binder asked. "You can have your discussions at normal decibel levels that way."

"Thank you, Miss Binder—I think I will."

"She seems nice," Yami observed as they walked out.

"She's like that to _everybody_. I think she'd figure out a way to hug a porcupine."

"That _is_ talent," Yami said as Horus flew over his head and morphed back to hat form. Yami paused so he'd drop perfectly on his head.

"Showoff," Anzu said.

"I can't help my talents."

"I'm sure," she observed as they hit the steps. "So how are you handling things?"

"Everyone keeps asking me that."

"Have you been giving honest answers?"

"Not even to my own father." Wow, that sounded bitter, Yami realized.

Anzu must have thought so too, by the look of that smile she was giving him. "Do you think it'd help?"

"Eh…no…not really."

"Try it."

"Okay, you want the truth? It sucks. It sucks that I was basically told that I'm going too fast and need to be progressing at the level that everyone else is. But I'm _not_ everyone else, and if I sit on my hands and do nothing for a year, I'll go crazy."

He took a deep breath upon finishing.

"And?" Anzu asked.

"And what?"

"Now how do you feel?"

He thought about it. "A little better. Not a vast improvement, but a little better."

"Good."

And with that, Anzu leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"You'll do fine," she comforted. "You'll see: a year isn't all that long. In the meantime, I'm sure I can cook up some things to keep us busy."

Yami felt his eyebrows ratchet up at that insinuation. "What sort of things?"

She blushed slightly, as though realizing what she said.

"Let's see: dates, movies, dinners, bird-watching, getting-to-know-each-other stuff," she said, ticking them off on her fingers. "We could research your family tree—I've always found genealogy to be especially diverting."

Yami nodded, not fully paying attention, until her last statement.

The lights went on.

"Anzu, you're a genius."

She nodded, unsure. "True….Why am I a genius?"

He straightened up. "There's one place I haven't looked for new spellbooks: my own house."

"Wouldn't you have already gone through them all?"

"Anzu," he noised, winking. "One thing you've got to know about Magicians is that their attics are always a mess—we could have four kids up there and never know it."

 _"What?"_

"It's a joke my Mom says—although come to think of it, that gives a nice way to get rid of my brother…."

 _"Yami."_

"All right, fine. But if we don't have spellbooks in our attic, then that's it, I'm done. My goose is cooked."

"And on that happy note," she said, taking his hand and heading down the steps. "Let's go eat lunch."

*\\*/*

Kineil watched Teana go from her spot behind Yami. Once the room recovered from the door slam, she said her piece.

"I recall saying that Maxwell shouldn't be let out into polite society."

"That sounds a lot like what you said about _me,"_ BJ said from behind her.

"It's a fact. Which reminds me, Yami—have you given any thought to that proposal I and your nerd friends approached you with? About there being an IQ test before reproduction?"

Yami wasn't listening to her. He was too busy glaring at Maxwell, fuming and looking like he was a few shades away from physically strangling the man. Wonder of wonders, Yami was actually _furious._

"I— _you,"_ he snarled. "You're lucky there's witnesses— _gah!"_ he spat finally, giving a dismissive motion with his hands as he ran after Teana.

Kineil waited until Yami slammed the door shut before addressing Maxwell. "So?" she asked. "Did your life flash before your eyes?"

"It did," Maxwell admitted. "On the positive side, I know where a lot of lost items are now."

"Good for you. New bet!" she yelled. "Yami kills Max."

"Side bet!" Maxwell added. "Yami sends _her_ to do it," he said, pointing at Kineil.

Kineil grinned at him, showing her teeth—a Chaos Grin, it was called, as the erstwhile beings had a habit of showing their teeth like that before tearing into an opponent or victim. Years after they ruled the earth, and the expression still had a fear-inducing quality.

Her Hawk's-Eyes probably didn't help.

"About that reproduction thing," BJ noised, poking her shoulder as Atlas ran over to the Board and wiped it clean before scribbling on it, unmindful of his suit. " _I_ wasn't part of the reason you want it going, is it?"

"I think we could agree that you'd be rubbish at it," Kineil told him.

"Nonsense! I'd be great at raising the little brats."

"Beej, the idea of you reproducing strikes terror into the hearts of the populace."

"One of you is bad enough," Maxwell agreed.

" _You_ have very little room to talk."

"On the contrary, I already know I couldn't stand the little monsters. I think you're the same way."

"A little monster?"

"Disgusted by the idea."

She couldn't argue with that.

"All right!" Atlas called. "Bets on Maxwell's demise and its cause are now open! And bets on Yami and Teana's status have been officially _re_ opened! Place your bets!"


	36. Rummage in the Attic

**Chapter 36, everyone, in which we find out Yami Skellington and Teana's ages, dusting happens, and romantic things blow up in people's faces…which is actually more fun to write than things going well….**

 **Kineil, Hephaestus and Vulcan are playing three-way Canasta there, by the by—if you get five nines in a deal, you can lay them out and force another deal. Considering getting five nines means you've probably got a junk hand, it's the route most taken—although it** ** _does_** **cause aggravation for the other players, mostly because** ** _they_** **got all the good cards.**

 **And Randy Travis music sums up relationships in the Magicians' Realm quite well, I think.**

 **Heaven's Eagle, thanks for the review and the follow! Eh, sort of—we'll get more into that later, but at the moment, it's more parallel timelines; they will most likely cross though, with interesting results. Excellent! I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, the younger Yami is having all the luck romance-wise—the elder one seems to be lacking in that department. And maybe. :)**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the 75th review! Aha, I knew it—and it was probably me: technology messes up when I'm around. And no, you're not the only one. Yes, it's like my Mom says: there's ways you act at home, and then there's ways you act around other people. Ah, another good use—very cool (could have sworn I did—oh well). :D Obviously—but let's be honest: if we were plugging along with a comic, and suddenly a** ** _lot_** **of people got excited over a little two-issue throwaway thing, we'd be wanting that interest to last a** ** _long_** **time. On the flip side, I wonder how it would have gone if it had become popular** ** _without_** **duel monsters. Oh yes—and then Monopoly with these people: "You landed on Boardwalk and went bankrupt! Penalty game!" They did a good job….Yes, here's hoping** ** _Finding Dory_** **is good (was a little disappointed by** ** _Zootopia_** **—pretty, nice caper story, but I guessed all the twists but one before they happened, to Mom's amazement—and then as she pointed out, the message was a bit heavy-handed).**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now—and that weird cactus)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment (say, pal…)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_ © 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages comes from that series** **—as does the concept of magic slowing down the aging process** **)**

 _ **Criminal Minds**_ **© 2005 Jeff Davis (the other side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Flowers in the Attic_** **© 1979 V.C. Andrews (if this story references an attic, it's guaranteed there'll be a reference to** ** _Flowers in the Attic_** **—absolutely** ** _weird_** **series, by the way)**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Teana had officially walked off her rage, and was now meandering through town, trying to work through her emotions.

And then she heard the source of her problems coming up behind her.

"Teana!"

"Stop following me," she sighed, not bothering to turn around.

"I know—everyone I've talked to for advice on this has told me to give you time—"

"How many people have you talked to about this?"

Yami at least had the gumption to look sheepish when she looked at him. "Well, you see, a lot of people saw fit to give me advice…."

"Did Kineil?"

"She said something about getting over you and moving on—and then she started playing Randy Travis music when that didn't work."

"She said you've been moping."

"I do not mope."

"Apparently you do."

"I was in very deep thought. And maybe a bit of emotional turmoil, with a dash of existential crisis."

"Sounds like a recipe for disaster."

"Yes…."

"I don't think we should see each other."

"Why not?"

"The longevity difference—and I'm going to guess age difference. How old are you?"

"Seventy…seven."

"I'm twenty-five."

"Okay…."

"That's a problem."

"Not really— _physically_ I'm the same age as you."

"That's not the point."

"It's my mental age you've got a problem with?"

"That might be a contributing factor."

"I could try harder."

"It won't work, Yami—you might as well come to grips with it."

Yami looked confused, then consternated. "Hey, wait a minute! You can't _do_ that! You said I had a _year."_

"I said you'd show how you really were in a year."

"But that's not fair! You haven't seen how I really am because you _won't_ see it—you've got all these preconceived notions about me that I've got to fight through just to get you to see _me._ That's not even _remotely_ fair."

"Oh, we're talking about what we _won't_ see, are we?" Teana shot back. "Well, while we're on that subject—you _won't_ see that a Commoner and a Magician aren't a match, you _won't_ see that everyone's laughing at you for trying, you _won't_ see everyone looking down their noses at _me_ for being a little girl in the wrong spot in the big world—you're absolutely blind! You haven't even noticed that Kineil's in love with you!"

Oops.

Yami looked like he had just been hit again. "Do what?"

Teana nodded. "Maybe you ought to invest your romantic overtures in _her._ Good night, Mr. Skellington."

And with that, she ran once more.

*/*\\*

It was the next day, and Yami was planning to make good on his previous plotting.

"What are you boys doing?" Jenna asked, passing by with the laundry.

"We're going into the attic," Yami responded.

"For what?"

"To look around. Maybe dust."

"All right," Jenna said. "Just watch out for those four fair-headed children we've been keeping up there."

Yuki did a double-take. Yami, however, had heard that line before—had passed it on, even—so it didn't faze him. "We will, Mom."

She nodded and continued on her way.

"I didn't know there were kids in the attic," Yuki said as Yami opened the trapdoor.

"There isn't," Yami said, letting the dust settle before entering the attic. "Mom got that from some book called _Flowers in the Attic_."

"So there's no one up there."

Yami glanced around. "Not even a mouse," he opined.

Indeed, it had been a while since anyone had been in the Montgau's attic; the last time Yami had been up there, he had found the Millennium Puzzle, but hadn't bothered with the attic since he solved it. Since then, a decent layer of dust coated everything. Every step they took sent a small puff up.

Yami crossed over to the window and levered it open. A cross-breeze blew, prompting fresh air to begin replacing the musty, stale air and getting the temperature down to manageable levels. Yuki took a deep breath and coughed.

"Yeah, it's pretty dusty up here," Yami said, brushing some dust off of a box and out the window. Satisfied with the one he uncovered, he opened the lid and began rifling through it.

"What are we looking for?" Yuki asked.

"Spellbooks, pamphlets…anything that could have a spell to learn out of it."

Yuki began casting around, searching for the appropriate sort of box. He settled on one and got to work.

*\\*/*

"I've decided," Hephaestus said, sitting down at the counter and putting his soda down so he could pick up his cards. "That I'm never getting emotionally involved with a woman."

"If that's the case, we're not sharing a room anymore," Vulcan declared, still dealing out cards.

"I'm not doing _that_. No, I've decided that any women I get involved with will solely be a physical relationship."

"Heph, in order to do _that_ , you'd have to meet a woman who would actually _get_ into a physical relationship with you," Kineil said, flipping up her last card before laying her hand down. "Five nines."

"Aw, _come on!"_ Hephaestus moaned, throwing his cards down. "How do you keep _doing_ that?"

"That one was Vulcan's fault," Kineil said, pointing.

"Hey, I shuffled good this time," Vulcan argued, shoving the cards toward Hephaestus. "Your deal—and if she gets five nines again, it's _your_ fault."

Hephaestus grumbled, but started shuffling.

A door slam echoed in from the foyer. "Ah, the king of romantic hopelessness returns," Kineil observed.

"Here's hoping I get my money back this time," Vulcan said, before turning in his seat to greet Yami as he entered the living area. "So! How'd it go?"

It went badly, Kineil was going to say: Yami looked hopelessly lost and confused, an expression that only deepened when he looked at them.

"Do you have a thing for me?" Yami asked, looking straight at Kineil.

She blinked, confused. "A cactus-thing?" she asked, remembering Rocky's ill-fated attempt at romance.

"A thing-thing."

"I have two cents worth of free advice, if you'd only take it."

"Teana said you were in love with me."

Kineil's hand spasmed into a fist, irrevocably bending an ace of spades. "She said _what?"_

Hephaestus and Vulcan exchanged glances.

"I feel the need to vacate the premises," Vulcan said.

"I second that motion," Hephaestus said, throwing down his cards and bolting—pausing only to snatch up his drink—Vulcan hot on his heels.

"It, uh," Yami noised, gesturing awkwardly. "I…it sounded silly, but I've been walking around for a while, thinking…and I don't think she was lying."

Kineil struggled to keep her twitching facial muscles from forming any expression, instead throwing the ruined ace down as she stood up.

"Where are you going?" Yami asked as she walked by him and into the foyer.

"I'm going to go solve your problems for good," she declared, slamming the door behind her as she went.

*/*\\*

Greg was busy with a rather complex case (and the even more complex paperwork involved) when Head Administrator Sumbinix stuck his head in.

"Did you ever get to the potion-still case in Massenborough?" Sumbinix asked.

"I told Administrator Carter yesterday," Greg replied, not looking up—hopefully, the tetchiness in his voice would be enough. "That as illegal brewing in stills is still a matter for the Civil Branch, I sent the files up to the Capitol. Any results will probably arrive later in the week along with my brother."

"At least there's that. Have you seen Administrator Carter, by the way?"

"Why?" Greg asked, managing to cut himself off before he added _is he still avoiding you?_

Administrator Sumbinix gained his standard _I don't need to tell you but I have to_ look. "I need his opinion on something."

"I get the feeling his opinion would trend towards snark at best," Greg said, flipping through the folders for the particular cross-reference he wanted. "You might be better off without him on it."

"I suppose…."

"Great. Now if you don't need me for anything else, I _am_ a little busy here."

Sumbinix took the cue and left, fortunately—Greg didn't want to have to go the rude route. Maybe _that_ was what Administrator Carter's trick was.

He found the folder he needed and pulled it out, flicking through its contents.

And then he blinked, realizing that one of the other folders had been unfamiliar to him.

He went back to the stack of folders, searched until he found the one he wanted, and pulled it out.

Within a few minutes of perusing it, it was clear that this was not an accidental grab.

He snapped the folder shut and stood up, heading for the door.

Administrator Carter was still avoiding Sumbinix, eh?

Well that meant that Head Mage Greg knew _exactly_ where Administrator Carter _was_.


	37. Circumnavigating Conversations

**Chapter 37, everybody! In which aggravating co-workers are dealt with and angry phone calls are made in the middle of the night….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Heheh, yes, it is rather odd—maybe less so when you realize Greg is a nickname for Gregor. True…and true—but at least your friends can't ground you when you mouth off. Good question….Well, it was the nineties—collectable things were in that decade. Yeah, it's not the sort of game you generally reach the natural end of—and true, very true….Sure, once they get past the glitz and glamour of it (kind of like** ** _Avatar_** **). TV Tropes might actually be the better route to go there, as you'll probably guess the twists anyway (I plan to check it and Wikipedia out after** ** _Batman VS Superman_** **comes out so I know who wins—even though Superman really ought to, because, you know, he's Superman).**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Ooh, hate it when that happens! D: Yes, that would be nice—it'll give some more impetus to the story….Yes, what's wrong with you, Yami? You'd think he'd be old enough to know better—he has a tendency to lose his head around Teana, and apparently it's bled over elsewhere. Good question—we may find that out before we find out what's in the attic….**

 **Heaven's Eagle, thanks for the review! True—she has commitment issues. That'll take a major number considering his easygoing nature, but I'm pretty sure it'll come—and thank you! Glad you like! I've had the idea for a while, and** ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **and** ** _Nightmare before Christmas_** **just always struck me like it'd work well together. Thanks again! :D**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now—and that weird cactus)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment (say, pal…)**

 ** _House, M.D._** **© 2004 David Shore (it was with this first scene that I realized that I may have inadvertently patterned Maxwell's behavior after Dr. House)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages comes from that series—as does the concept of magic slowing down the aging process)**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

"What is this?"

" _Oh,_ so you've figured out my system," Administrator Carter said, sparing Greg a glance—the Administrator was currently reclining with his lanky legs on his desk, tossing a ball into the air.

"First day, Administrator Sumbinix hangs around your office," Greg said, arms crossed. "So the second day, he's out looking for you, making the 'safest' place for you your office."

"Bingo."

"Aren't you worried about a page reporting you?"

"The last page that did _that_ still hasn't made it back from the Eastern Chaos Coast."

"So what do you do on the third day?"

"Third day I'm away on urgent business. Fourth day, I just don't show up for work. Fifth day, Sumbinix gives up and assigns whatever to some other poor sap. And thus, the cycle continues."

"Now if only you put as much effort into actually working."

"Now that _would_ require work, and at a fraction of the enjoyment. But I sense you didn't come here to learn avoidance techniques," Carter added, taking his feet off his desk.

Greg held up the folder in response. "What is this?"

"I'm going out on a limb here and saying 'a folder.'"

"This was with the folders you gave me yesterday."

"If I recall, you _did_ ask me for folders and not for pastries."

Greg was rapidly tiring of the evasions. "This folder came from the Closed Cases room."

"Did it now?" Carter asked, grinning as he turned the ball over and over in his hands, leaning back in his chair. "Well, that _is_ interesting—maybe someone should send a page into that morass and get them to clean up some there."

"There's absolutely no way this folder could have gotten _out_ of that room."

"I don't know—some of those spellbooks _are_ mischievous."

Greg closed his eyes and counted until he felt calmer. If Yami ever decided to take notes from Administrator Carter, Greg's sanity would be forfeit.

"Maybe I'm not being clear," Greg said finally. "These folders _cannot_ leave that room—they've been enchanted to stay in that room unless an Administrator went and got them. _This_ folder was in the stack of folders _you_ delivered to me yesterday. _Ergo,_ this folder is out because of _you."_

"'Ergo'?" Administrator Carter echoed.

" _Max,_ _why_ was this folder on my desk?"

"I thought you figured that out already."

"Fine. _Why_ did you put it on my desk?"

"I told you yesterday—I don't have anything better to do."

With that, he resumed tossing the ball up in the air.

Greg used a bit of displaced air to send it bouncing off the wall and away from him.

Administrator Carter tracked it until it ended up in a wastebasket. "I wasn't finished with that," he declared, pointing.

"And I'm not finished with you. Why did you pick this folder, specifically, and put it on my desk, knowing that I'd see it and read it?"

"Entertainment purposes."

"What possible entertainment could you derive from a thousand-year-old cold case?"

"I take it you read it."

Greg's mouth was in a thin line as he flipped the folder open. _"_ Teana Gardenier, Skellington's murdered beau," he said, holding it so Administrator Carter could see the small photo. "Even for you, this is in poor taste."

As he closed the folder, he noted that Administrator Carter's expression was no longer amused.

"And here I thought you were a smart man," Carter sighed finally.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Aw, didn't you _read?"_ Carter asked, smirking condescendence returning. "Maybe if you had, you'd notice that her death wasn't exactly kosher."

"She was _murdered_ —of _course_ it wasn't."

"You _are_ dense."

"I'm very close to turning you into a frog."

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Then _please,_ get to the point."

In response, Administrator Carter leaned back and crossed his arms.

"Such a pity about your son's promotion," Carter said. "I do _wonder_ what the motivation behind that was."

Greg blinked at the sudden shift in topic. "What are you getting at?"

"A whole line of Montgaus as Head Mage," Carter continued, putting a fresh cigar in his mouth before fishing his wallet out. "And then _that_ happens. Wait, I think I have the answer," he said, pulling something out of his wallet and flicking it across his desk. "Maybe it's the _hair."_

Greg put a hand down to stop the item—it was a folded piece of paper, with _Lackadaisy Revue_ written on it in spiky handwriting, plus a date from a thousand years ago—New Year's, he noted.

He picked it up and unfolded it.

It was an ensemble photo, and he picked Administrator Carter out of the mass easily enough.

Picking Skellington out was even easier.

Greg looked up at Administrator Carter. "What are you doing?"

Carter took the cigar out of his mouth, looked as though he were considering an answer….

And then pointed at Greg.

"Leaving," he declared.

And with that, he kicked off from his desk and fell backwards, disappearing into the shadows of his office.

Greg leaned over the desk. As gone as when he did that yesterday.

"One day," he said. "I will lose patience with that man and wring his neck. And it will be a good day."

He looked back at the photo. Jenna had had some family photos that dated back to that time, but he hadn't seen any since they were relegated to the attic ages ago. Having it laid out so plain….

Administrator Carter had been alive at the time.

So had Administrator Sumbinix.

Come to think of it—so had _all_ of the Administrators.

He folded up the picture and stuffed it into an inside pocket. He couldn't even _begin_ to guess at Administrator Carter's motivations, but this was the sort of thing that required more investigation.

He started navigating out of the pages' warrens, trying to puzzle out exactly _how_ he'd go about doing that, when he passed Sumbinix heading in the opposite direction.

"He's not in his office," Greg called after him.

Sumbinix sighed. "Why do I even bother with that man?"

Good question.

 _Very_ good question.

*\\*/*

Teana lay in bed, staring at her window, simultaneously hoping that a big black bird would and would not show up.

Her phone rang. Well, what do you know—the pedestrian way. Or maybe it was someone else. But who would be daft to call at this hour of the night?

She picked the phone off of its cradle on her bedstand. "Hello?" she asked.

" _I ought to hunt you down and kill you in your sleep."_

Teana blinked at the matter-of-fact declaration, then realized she recognized the voice. "I thought Magicians' phones weren't linked to the Commoner part of town."

" _I'm on a payphone,"_ Kineil informed her. _"Why did you tell him? I recall specifically telling you not to tell him."_

"It sort of slipped out."

 _"Thank you—like life wasn't difficult enough."_

"I'm sorry."

 _"Well sorry don't fix things, does it?"_

Not really, no. "What do you want, Kineil?"

" _I believe I already told you."_

"If you wanted to kill me, you would have come to my apartment and done it already."

" _Maybe I have to psyche myself up first—keep talking; that should do it."_

"And if I hang up?"

 _"That may expedite the process."_

"Maybe you should talk to him."

 _"That'll do it—what a hypocrite you are. Keep talking like that—it'll get me in the throttling mood."_

"First, I would have thought you'd have worked out the throttling on Otogi. Second, _excuse me?"_

 _"Otogi was a pushover. And you heard me."_

"And what makes you think I'm a hypocrite?"

 _"'Maybe you should go talk to him.'"_ This said in a high-pitched, whiny voice. _"YOU won't go and air out YOUR emotional laundry—why should I?"_

"Stop questioning my logic."

 _"I think it's high time someone did—it's incredibly flawed."_

"How do you figure?"

 _"Let me put it this way: you have no room to throw stones at my house when your own is made of glass. You try to force me to deal with my romance issues, and yet you won't touch yours and get touchy when someone does. Are you seeing an issue yet?"_

Yes. "I don't like dealing with my romance issues."

 _"Neither do I. And yet you forced my issue—I see fit to return the favor."_

"Do I dare ask what you're going to do?"

 _"I'm going to do the best I can. Which may involve kicking down your door."_

"You might bother the neighbors."

 _"Oooh, there's a good one—I'll just go ahead and tell the neighbors all about you. Heck, I might even tell complete strangers."_

"What do you _want,_ Kineil?" Teana asked, feeling her last nerve fraying.

 _"I want you to get over yourself."_

And with that, Kineil hung up.

Teana stared at the phone.

" _Reeeally_ great chat," she muttered, hanging it up before laying down and staring at the ceiling.

She wasn't getting any sleep tonight, she figured.


	38. Midnight Confessions

**Chapter 38, everybody!** ** _"In my midnight confessions…when I tell the whole world that I love you…."_**

 **We also get a reference to how my parents met, how Hobbes describes love to Calvin in one Sunday strip, my general opinion on the efficacy of hormones, and Dr. Phil's description of how emotions work. Such fun!**

 **And re-watching Shane Acker's** ** _9_** **—** ** _ho-lee_** ** _cow_** ** _._**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, the old goats! That's the power of magic—and maybe Pine-Sol. True—she thinks she's right and everyone's wrong, which isn't exactly right, but she doesn't know it yet. Wait, did that make any sense? *~* Good question! And probably….No, Greg is for all points and purposes pretty normal-looking (think Thomas Gibson). The hair comes from Jenna's side of the family, but doesn't manifest in the women (think Yugi's mother in the manga), and her father kept his hair trimmed and under a hat or bandanna for most of his life. Eh, he has suspicions, but it's been a while since the pictures have been looked at, so….Maybe. :)**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Ah, yes, but it makes good writing—or so I've been deluding myself. Of course, it brings up plenty of resolutions I'm going to have to find and figure out later, but….Yes, I suppose it's a bit tame next to names like 'Yami' and 'Hephaestus.' Yes…there may be a reason most of my social interactions are online now….Eh….Yes, he should—but Batman** ** _is_** **the sort to keep a stash of kryptonite around (and Word recognizes that—** ** _how…_** **). Mmm, I prefer Batman's villains over Batman (and yet I can't get into** ** _Gotham…_** **)—I prefer DC villains and Marvel heroes, but not DC heroes and Marvel villains. Something's wrong with me….**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Hey, no worries—real life comes first. :) Hope you had a good vacation! Oh good, so it's not just me….Ooh, I made you gasp? That's a good thing, I think….Most likely….Well, it's Yami Montgau's timeline that resembles the 1950s, while Teana's resembles the 1930s…I've never actually bothered to ask them what year they're in, but as life expectancies are longer in their world, I think it's safe to say that their eras progress slower than ours do. I'm going to have to ask them….**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Calvin and Hobbes_ © 1985 Bill Watterson (" _That's_ love!?" "Medically speaking." Also a reference to a daily strip** **—"I figured you lost your mind years ago."** **)**

 **"** **Midnight Confessions" © 1968 Lou Josie; sung by The Grass Roots (the version everyone knows, anyway)**

 **"** **It's in his Kiss" © 1963 Rudy Clark; sung by Betty Everett ("** ** _If you wanna know, if he loves you so, it's in his kiss [that's where it is!]"_** **)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages comes from that series—as does the concept of magic slowing down the aging process)**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Yami wandered through the house, reflecting upon his predicament. As he did so, he waved the lights out—no one else was up, anyway.

Well, almost no one, he noted upon passing through the solarium.

He crossed over and sat down on the settee next to Kineil, who was busy glaring out at the lawn as she slouched in her seat.

"Uh, hi," Yami tried.

"Please don't tell me you're going to try to make awkward small talk—that is the _precise_ reason I never told you," Kineil snapped.

"Sorry—it's just been…a day."

"So I've noticed."

Awkward silence occurred.

"Why did you never say anything?" Yami asked.

"Because I figured if it was supposed to happen, it would," Kineil said. "And I was worried that if it _wasn't_ supposed to happen, we'd be right where we are now—awkwardly sitting next to each other with no idea how to progress."

"This _is_ annoying," Yami agreed.

"Yes. So let's agree that it stemmed from a crush that I got over before anything happened, and that _you_ are an absolute idiot who couldn't handle romance if it punched you in the face."

"Do I _have_ to agree to the second?"

"Yes. You suck at this."

"I do," Yami agreed, sliding down in his seat. "How come this level of awkwardness doesn't seem to happen in the books or shows?"

"Because it's boring," Kineil said. "And that's annoying. It's better to drop a dragon or other big problem into the mix instead of dealing with such idiocy page after page—even the writer gets annoyed when the characters can't solve their own problems."

"I would have ended up on the cutting room floor by now."

"You would have."

"So what do I do?"

"Stop being stupid."

"I would, but I seem doomed from the start."

"Ah, so he realizes it finally. Give her a week—maybe her monthly curse is upon her."

"I'm fairly certain she doesn't turn into a werewolf."

"Not _that_ one—the _other_ one, you know, the one that I get and need to go murder something, that time of the month where the boys barricade themselves in their room?"

"Oh. _Oh,_ " Yami noised. _"That_ one. That's a thing?"

"For most women. There are those who don't get the curse every month, but Mother Nature finds a different way to ruin them."

"I've decided my life was easier before hormones."

 _"Everyone's_ life was easier before hormones. Hormones are part of the curse enacted by the Fall—I'm _sure_ of it."

"So you think that's the root of my problem?"

"No. I think the root of your problem is that you fell in love with a girl who is afraid to _be_ in love. At least, in _that_ way."

"Why? What's so scary about love?"

"It's like having a sunburn, and then inviting someone to touch it. It hurts when someone touches it, unless that person's careful. And people just aren't careful."

Yami pondered that for a few moments. "So what do I do? Approach her with Aloe Vera?"

"Try Vaseline—it works a lot better, in my experience."

"With _love?"_

"With sunburns. I can't help you in the love department. I couldn't even help myself."

"You'll find someone someday."

"Oh great—now _you're_ trying to play the love doctor."

"It's true—someday, you will _literally_ run into someone who you love… _that_ way. The romantic way, not the sibling way, or the friend way, or the I-think-I-have-a-crush way."

"Oi."

"Sorry. Give me a few days, and I'll be fine."

"If you live that long."

"Cheers."

"And what makes you think love works that way?"

"Because that's how it happened to me."

"You literally ran into her. Yes, I recall that story. In case you haven't noticed, it wasn't love at first sight."

"It was for me."

"Love doesn't work that way."

"How does it work, pray tell?"

"You'll meet—your friends probably introduce you—and you start talking about this and that, and you know you have to leave soon, but you're enjoying the conversation too much and the person's company too much, and then all of a sudden you look up and you have to be at your morning job in thirty minutes, and you realize you've literally talked through the night with this person."

"That's love?"

"Verbally speaking. From the medical standpoint, the sight of the person causes your heart to dislodge and fall into your stomach, splashing your innards, soaking everything and short-circuiting routes, causing wooziness and disorientation, and then your brain stem shorts, disengaging everything and making you babble like a cretin until she leaves."

"I don't babble like a cretin."

"You have been—it's like your brain took a holiday."

"It didn't take a holiday—I let it wander and it didn't come back."

"How is that an improvement?"

"I don't know."

"And what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. What's that Betty Everett says? 'It's in his kiss'?"

"I see a restraining order in your future."

"I need professional help."

"You do. And I need to get paid for this level of advice."

"Does living here rent-free count?"

"This requires extra. There was nothing mentioned about having to be of service emotionally."

"I'm sorry I was so dense."

"You should be."

"You'll forgive me though, right?"

 _"I_ might."

"Right. What do I do?"

"You go to bed and stare at the ceiling."

Yami sighed; yes, that's probably what he would do if he went to his room.

"I think I'll stay here," Yami said finally. "The view is better. And so is the company."

"Suck-up," Kineil said.

Yami couldn't help but smirk. "Thanks for your friendship, Kineil."

"Yeah, yeah, don't make it mushy."

Yami laughed and left it at that.


	39. Ideas for Moving Forward

**Chapter 39, everybody! In which Kineil and Idgy plot and Yami and Yuki find things they shouldn't….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Maybe a little….I…have no idea anymore (they're going off on their own and doing their own things and not listening to me…which is probably a good thing, come to think of it…). Probably—although I suppose any word could be a name, if it sounds good (Glint, for example). Shame on them—and yes, the Internet is the great equalizer (and that right there is my main argument when I discuss discussion threads). :) Exactly! He's Superman! It's in the name! And yes, that is how Batman rolls….Hmm…I want to say kryptonite is in the American dictionary, but that makes no sense, considering how global Superman is (I could understand something regional like 'dinkum'—which Word doesn't recognize :\\). True—and without Batman, Joker wouldn't have a reason to be happy (consider the episode when he thought the Batman was dead). I don't think I got my recommended dose of superheroes until I was twelve, so it may be one of those things that need exposure in formative years (and living in the States probably helps with the superhero exposure, since most of them seem to be based in New York and the tristate area). It's always good to have those. :)**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, it's a wonderful comic—and that's a wonderful thing! Yes, Yami should (and it fits with the Yu-Gi-Oh! part of the story…)….Except Kineil wouldn't go for it, and Yami needs his tie for his cape….** ** _Yami! I have something to run by you!_**

 **Heaven's Eagle, thanks for the review! Yes, just a bit….This whole thing started with wanting to have a moment between Yami and Teana segue into character development for Hephaestus and Vulcan, but** ** _no_** **, they** ** _had_** **to go do this emotional thing. :\ At least it builds character….**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! No problem! Yeah, it bugs me too at times….That would be good, and it'd clear a few things up….No, he probably wouldn't (ah, very punny—I approve :)). Yes…it was awkward to write too, so it's extra-awkward, but at least we're past it. True, very true—and also very true, unfortunately…hopefully he'll work past that.**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 _ **Dharma and Greg**_ **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 _ **Criminal Minds**_ **© 2005 Jeff Davis (the other side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _Fried Green Tomatoes_** **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages comes from that series)**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

"What are you doing?"

"I'm holding this wall down," Kineil stated. "It's a very important job. Granted, it's also a tad dull, but _someone's_ got to do it."

"Well then, let me help you," Idgy said, hopping up on the wall and sitting near Kineil's head. "Do I need to lay down on it too, or is sitting on it enough?"

"Laying down on it requires a certain level of balance. And the ability to ignore a very annoying pebble that seems to enjoy digging into a spot between your ribs."

"That _is_ aggravating. So why are you holding down a wall separating two farm holdings?"

"I blame you for this," Kineil said, pointing at Idgy. "You started all this…this _romance_ business with Yami and Teana."

"I did not," Idgy said primly. "I just happened to be at the epicenter when the fallout occurred. And then I told Skul, and we agreed that it was the sort of thing to post at the Revue."

"Which compounded the situation."

"Yes, that was unfortunate."

"And now _I'm_ stuck in the middle of this mess."

"How so?"

"Teana threw me under the bus and Yami ran over me."

"Ouch."

"Yes indeedy. So I figure holding this wall down is a nice way to stay out of the way until they can figure things out themselves. Why are _you_ out here, by the way?"

"I was on my way to get some honey. Should I help with the mess our friends have gotten into?"

"I think you've helped enough."

"Nonsense—I just got the ball rolling and made things come to a head too soon."

"So you admit you had a hand in it."

Idgy sighed. "I tried to help, honest—I'm just not good at that sort of thing. My best friend was in a bad relationship, and I helped her get out—but it followed her and we ended up in a bigger pickle."

"What happened?"

"I got arrested. On the positive side, we got out on the other side in one piece, so there's that."

"You got _arrested?"_

"Never tell someone you're going to kill them where other people can hear. It just makes things complicated if they show up dead later."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. So, how are we going to fix things?"

"I was hoping this wall would tell me."

"Walls are no good in this situation—we need to tear down the wall between the two."

"To be fair, hitting Yami with a sledgehammer was among my discarded ideas."

"That's not what I mean. We need to get them somewhere where the Commoner-Magician thing isn't a thing."

"Good luck."

"There has to be _some_ way," Idgy moaned, laying down on the wall.

"I've found that just because there _has_ to be something doesn't mean that there _is_."

"That's a little pessimistic."

"That's a little realistic."

"Who doesn't care about the Commoners _or_ Magicians?"

"Birds? Bees? Trees? Fish? The river?"

Idgy sat up. "That's it!"

"What? What's it?"

"Where do Magicians and Commoners mingle?"

"No clue."

"By the _river,_ Kineil—we've got to get them down to the River's Run."

*/*\\*

Hours later saw a lot less dust, but little progress on the spellbook hunt.

"Maybe Dad donated them all," Yuki opined, flipping through a photo album he found. "Hey, here's Dad and Uncle Hotch—boy, they look funny."

Yami leaned over to look. "They're our age there," he noted. "And we'd probably make more progress if you didn't look through every album you found."

"I _like_ looking at these," Yuki objected.

Yami shrugged and pulled a fresh box over.

Something caught his eye.

He glanced up—some sort of blue light, he thought.

He wandered over, wondering what could have caused it; found a new box tucked out of the way.

It was with this one that he hit paydirt.

"Hello, what's this?" he asked, pulling a thick tome out.

Yuki looked over. There was a gold eye embossed on black leather. "Hey, I know that eye—it's on your Puzzle."

Yami glanced down at the object in question. "Yeah, it is," he mused, glancing back at the thick book. "I wonder if it's some sort of family crest." He wiped some grime from it. "Hey wait—it's not _exactly_ the same. Look—there's a skull in the eye."

Yuki looked. It was so.

Yami opened the book, wincing a bit as the leather made a soft cracking noise. He read the page it fell open at.

"All right—jackpot."

"Really?" Yuki asked, reading the page as well. "Hey, that's a spell!"

"Brilliant, Holmes," Yami said, flicking through the rest of the book. It was all handwritten in long, swirling cursive with detailed, tiny notations spotting the margins. He flipped back to the inside cover to see if anyone had written their name there.

Someone had.

Yami froze when he read the name.

 _Y. Skellington_.

"What is it?" Yuki asked.

Yami pointed, unable to say it.

Yuki looked at it. He froze too.

Finally, he looked at Yami.

"Why would we have one of Skellington's spellbooks in our attic?" he asked.

It was beginning to sink in what he held in his hands. One of the Skellington Mage's personal spellbooks—only his strongest spells would have made it in here—

Yami snapped the book shut with authority.

"I don't know," he told Yuki. "But I know what _we_ are going to do with it."


	40. Lunch and Dinner

**Chapter 40, everyone! In which the proper way of eating gummie worms is discussed and Kineil abducts Teana….And yes, fries and rings are the best measurers for how good a restaurant is. :)**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Mwahaha, yes! *in best Yzma voice* _It's DINNER time!_ :D Yes, me too—fortunately, we're taking that important first step. Yes indeed! Probably not—and probably so** **….**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Yes, it'll be more than just a trinket, don't worry. And oh yes—Yami Montgau isn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth!**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes it is—and if you notice, Yami's not complaining. Precisely! Probably—people riot when their football team wins the Super Bowl; can you imagine the insanity if it ended in anything but a stalemate? And yes, consistency is for other people (and salad dressing). It doesn't—you have to add it manually, except apparently for really,** ** _really_** **common pop culture words, like** ** _kryptonite, Pokémon,_** **and** ** _Pikachu_** **. I guess it must just be weird Americans (or a newer copy of Microsoft Word). That's a pond, right? (only time I ever heard it was in the song "Waltzing Matilda"). Yes,** ** _Batman: the Animated Series_** **and the 2000s series** ** _The Batman_** **are good DC superhero shows to get into the next time you have time—now if only YouTube would quit taking them down….**

 **References:**

 _ **Yu-Gi-Oh!**_ **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 _ **The Nightmare Before Christmas**_ **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 _ **Lackadaisy Cats**_ **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 _ **Fried Green Tomatoes**_ **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet**

 _ **Skulduggery Pleasant**_ **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages comes from that series)**

 ** _Happy Days_** **© 1974 Garry Marshall (the Cunninghams)**

 ** _Cunningham's Rooster_** **© 1975 Barbara Brenner (the diner is named after this children's book, which I loved)**

 ** _The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air_** **© 1990 Benny Medina; Susan Borowitz; & Andy Borowitz (Mordecai's spiel comes from a similar one Geoffrey gives)**

 ** _Burns and Allen_** **© Your guess is as good as mine—sometime in the 1930s, hosted by CBS or NBC**

 _ **Shrek**_ **© 2001 DreamWorks (Kineil quotes the first movie here)**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

The next morning, Yami and Yuki sat on the sidewalk in front of the Cunningham's Rooster, the local diner and hangout. They had just bought a bag of gummie worms and were steadily working their way through them.

They both knew that there was a certain way to eating gummie worms. One had to suck on it first, on the least favorite flavor, until it began to pull apart. Then each segment had to be carefully bitten off, one by one, thus maximizing the length each worm lasted. It was a good system.

"I wonder," Yuki pondered. "If you went fishing with gummie worms, would you catch Swedish fish?"

"Maybe," Yami said, taking another worm. They each were keeping careful track of how many the other took. "Why don't you take yours and find out?"

Yuki scowled and dropped the notion for another, more pressing one. "So what are we doing today?"

In response, Yami pulled out a scrap of paper. On the paper was a list copied out from the attic spellbook—ingredients.

"Let's see," Yami said, perusing the list. "Spent wishbones, dandelions in flight, a feather from a guinea on the run…."

"Hmm," Yuki pondered, nibbling another worm. "Kels has guineas, right?"

"Yeah," Yami responded, as the door opened.

The Cunningham's Rooster was owned by the Cunningham family, with patriarch Howard, his wife Marion, and their three children, the youngest of which was Yuki's age. The five of them worked the diner and—with the exception of Marion, who was too giving for her own good—ran a fairly tight ship.

Marion was demonstrating her givingness now.

"I noticed you boys out here," she said, depositing a picnic basket next to Yami. "And I said to myself 'those boys don't eat enough healthy foods.'"

This wasn't true, but no one ever corrected Marion. She was much too nice for that.

"There's some tuna sandwiches and carrots and a few pints of milk in there," Marion continued. "And a few of my oatmeal cookies as well."

"Thanks, Mrs. Cunningham," Yami said politely. Yuki seconded it.

"Now you boys run along now," Marion said, patting them both on the heads. "Boys your age shouldn't be sitting around like this—it's unhealthy."

They agreed, thanked her again, and went on their way.

"So where to?" Yuki asked.

"You just said where," Yami replied. "To Kels'."

*\\*/*

Teana was used to the cheery little ding the bell at the bookkeeper's made.

So when it was immediately accompanied by a loud slam, she looked up in alarm.

There was Kineil, and there was the door against the wall.

 _"You,"_ Kineil said, pointing at her. "You're coming with _me."_

Teana wondered if she'd make it to the poker before Kineil made it to her. "No I'm not," she declared primly, standing.

Kineil stood in the doorway, hands on her hips, and _glared_. Teana winced at a sudden pain in her gut.

"Yes you are," Kineil said. "Because the next step my glare usually causes is nausea followed by lunch-losing, and you don't want _that."_

Despite the pain, Teana couldn't help but stare. "You're doing this by _looking_ at me?"

"Behold the Hawk's-Eye—a predator gaze that freezes its prey."

"I'm sorry, I'm prey now?"

"You wouldn't come when I asked nicely."

"You _didn't_ ask nicely!"

"Do you want to see your lunch again?"

"Not really."

"Then I suggest you come with me."

"I suggest you ask nicely."

"Are you always this difficult?"

"Only with Magicians."

"I thought we established that I'm _not_ a Magician."

Mordecai Heller walked in with the obvious intention of starting his shift, spotted the current issue, and stopped. "Ah…."

"Mordecai, give me a hand here," Kineil said.

"I'm not getting into this," he replied, punching in his time card. "Now if you'll excuse me." He crossed over to Teana. "You're in my spot."

"I'm trying to avoid an untenable situation," Teana informed him. "You don't happen to have a mirror, do you?"

"You may as well go with it. I heard the plan earlier."

"There was a _plan?"_

"It's a good plan. It even had the tiny fiddly details worked out too. I suppose the only flaw was in sending Kineil here instead of Ms. Idgy."

"I drew the short straw," Kineil said.

"You do recall that you get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar."

"I'm a fly now?" Teana asked.

"Do you take your own advice?" Kineil asked. "If so, I'm sure there's a few people up in Jois-Outside-of-Norkyew who feel they've been robbed of that service."

"That is how one reasons with those ruffians. Now out of my chair," he added to Teana.

"Does it have your name on it?" Teana asked.

"Not officially, but I'll have you know that my shift starts at four. And if you'd kindly look at the clock on the wall, you'll note that the long hand is on twelve and the short hand is on four. It is _four o' clock._ Now, enlighten me as to what that means."

" _Burns and Allen_ is on?" Kineil guessed.

"Out. The both of you. _Now."_

Teana obliged, simply because there was something about Mordecai that was worrisome.

"All right," Teana sighed, once they were out. "What can I say to talk you out of killing me?"

"You can say," Kineil said, thinking. "That you'd love to come to dinner."

"Do what?"

"You heard me. Now march. You run, I reserve the right to break your kneecaps."

"That sounds an awful lot like vinegar."

"I'm full of it. Now come along—we've got a little walking to do."

"How much walking?"

Kineil came up behind Teana and started pushing her down the street. "We're going down to the river. There, happy?"

"No. Are you planning on drowning me?"

"Trust me, of all the scenarios I've run through my head, drowning was dismissed as being too much trouble. Now come on—the place has the best French fries and onion rings around."

"Sounds high class."

"Do not mock the fries and rings—you can tell a lot about a place by the quality of their fries and rings. Now let's see some hustle!"


	41. Guineas and Runs

**Chapter 41, everyone! In which those who follow me on DeviantArt may be encountering familiar faces….In other news, I've been tapped for jury duty. :( Now for the fun part of evading it….**

 **The movie this week is** ** _Ferris Bueller's Day Off_** **—I will tell you why Charlie Deetz had his nervous breakdown and moved to Winter River in** ** _Beetlejuice_** **: Ferris Bueller. :D**

 **and yes, our guineas come when we call like that** **—or at least, they make a lot of noise.**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! From the sounds of it, our gummie worms are very similar to your jelly snakes. Yes, it was nice of Mrs. C—and yes, nothing subtle about Kineil at all. :) Very true—and yes, here's hoping. :)**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes indeed….I find that interesting, considering the Outback Steakhouses have a Crocodile-Dundee-guy advertise blooming onions….True—** ** _that_** **would be an interesting letter….True, very true—we'd never be able to use the Internet again. :-\ Ah! I had read something along those lines ages ago, but I wasn't certain. Huh—and sorry about that. ^^; My Mom used to line-dance to it, so that's how I knew it. Yes, you should—surprisingly dark for cartoons, but very good. :)**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Yes, Kineil speaks from personal experience. Yeah, onion rings aren't for everyone (I used to hate onions in any format, so I get where you're coming from). Yes indeedy! But she was tired of the moping and such. Ah, glad you liked—I'm always a little concerned about whether I provide too much exposition or not enough, so that's good to know. :) And yes—never anger the Kineil. Bad things happen when she's angry. We wouldn't like her when she's angry….**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _One Piece_** **© 1998 Eiichiro Oda**

 ** _The Mummy_** **© 1999 Stephen Sommers (Sanji quotes it at one point)**

 **Original characters + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Kels' house was nestled in the forest, not as far in as some of the Hippie houses, but enough so that no one in town was too bothered by her avian friends.

Yuki loved visiting her house. Geese, guineas, chickens…it was a haven of fine feathered friends.

Kels was mucking about in her birds' house when they found and hailed her.

"Well well well, what brings you boys here?" she asked, leaning on her pitchfork.

It only took a few minutes to explain things to her. When they finished, she stared at them.

"So you found a spellbook in your attic," she summarized. "And you're going to use it to go behind the Administrators' backs?"

"Pretty much. Wanna help?" Yami asked.

Kels nodded. "Sure, I'm game. What do you need?"

Yami showed her the list.

"'A feather from a guinea on the run'?" Kels read. "You're not going to get that. If you needed one that was shed or one from a roosting one, I could help, but you're not getting one from a guinea on the run."

"Why not?" Yami asked.

In response, Kels turned from the fence. " _Guinea-guinea-guinea-guinea-guinea!"_

To that, guinea fowl ran from everywhere, flying in, dashing along so fast that their legs vanished.

Kels indicated the running birds. "There's a reason the larger breeds are raced—there's no catching a guinea."

"Maybe if all three of us tried," Yami mused.

"They'd fly away from you."

Yuki, meanwhile, had climbed through the split-rail fence separating Kels's place from the road, heading for the guineas. Within moments, he had explained what they needed to one of the guineas. It considered the request, then plucked one of its smaller feathers off and gave it to him.

"Thanks," Yuki said, accepting the feather. He trotted back over to his brother.

"Is this right?" Yuki asked, holding up the feather.

Kels and Yami both stared.

Kels finally turned to Yami. "Your brother talked to my birds."

Yami shrugged. "I know. We're having him tested."

*\\*/*

"Ta-da," Kineil said, indicating a building on the riverfront. "Behold: the River's Run."

Teana scratched the side of her face, deciding that _building_ was being much too generous for a ramshackle shack that they had had to walk through several winding forest paths to reach. There were barrels with planks on them surrounded by folding chairs scattered about the clearing, and the whole thing looked like it had been flooded once or twice.

"So, what do you think?" Kineil asked.

"I think it looked like someone tried to occupy some junk that washed up on a river bend," Teana replied.

"That's actually surprisingly accurate—the first chunk of it was an old ship that got washed up on the shore, and it's been built up from there. Now come on."

"I see pirates and ruffians," Teana argued.

"They know better," Kineil said, heading into the thick of it. The first glanced at her—

And then quickly moved out of the way with a polite _ma'am._

Teana followed her quickly. "How did you do that?" she asked Kineil.

"Intimidation is key," Kineil said. She nodded at a few pirates and Gypsians mingling near the river as she headed up to the double swinging doors. "I love these—watch this."

She shoved them both open and strode in before they swung shut. After having a moment to soak it in, she turned to Teana. "Now you," she ordered.

"I don't think so," Teana said.

"You'd better—there's a line forming."

Teana turned to look to see that yes indeed, there was a line forming behind her.

"Do you want to get in?" she asked.

"Actually, we're in line for the doors," a short, scruffy-looking pirate said.

The taller one behind him nodded, two eyepatches on his forehead above his eyes. "It's an attraction."

Teana turned to look at Kineil. "These people impress too easily."

"Would you rather they not impress easily?" Kineil asked.

"Fair point."

So she tried the doors, tucking in a bit to miss being hit by them as they swung shut.

"Well?" Kineil asked.

"All right, I'll admit it," Teana said. "That was fun."

"Perfect. Now the fries and rings. _Sanji!_ My usual please."

Some blonde guy smoking a cigarette and wearing a black suit was in front of her with a platter. "French fries, onion rings, ketchup for fries, ranch dressing for rings, and a Pepsi freshly opened," he announced. "And I see you've brought a _lovely_ friend—how may I serve you?"

"Just be your usual charming self, Sanji," Kineil told him.

"Of course—right this way, I'll escort you to your seats. Any seating preference?"

"Window with a river view all right with you?" Kineil asked Teana.

"I guess so," Teana said, thinking she'd rather have a seat near a back entrance. But she supposed a window next to the river was good enough—at the very least, she could dive out of it. "But I don't see any empty seats."

"That's my job," Sanji said, escorting them to a table with a handful of pirates there.

"You're in her seat," Sanji declared flatly, glaring at the nearest one.

The pirate protested. "Yeah, but I—"

" _Now."_

The table was quickly vacated and Sanji pulled out a couple of seats for them as he put the tray down on the table.

"Give me a second," he said as they sat down and he pushed their seats in. Within a few moments, the table was cleared of all but their tray. "There! Enjoy your hors d' oeuvres—I'll be back."

Teana waited until he left before addressing Kineil. "What on earth kind of place _is_ this?"

"The River's Run," Kineil answered after a moment of silence and a French fry. "That's Sanji, the proprietor's son and head of staff—word is the ship portion of this place was a floating restaurant they tended before a storm washed them and a lot of wreckage from the mountains up here. And they figured rather than try to dig the ship out, they'd just rebuild here. They still attract a lot of clientele; now they're just easier to find."

"And we get a lot of refuse washed up here."

"We still do—they have to shut down every spring because it floods. Or do you mean the company?"

"They're pirates."

"And?"

"Thieves and scoundrels."

 _"And?"_

"And am I ever going to get anyone around me to see sense?"

"You don't want an answer to that. Now try the food."

"What if I don't want salmonella?"

"Please, Sanji would never poison his female customers. _Male,_ on the other hand…."

"Kineil…."

"Eat the stupid onion ring."

Teana held off on the _wonderful_ part of her thanks before doing so.

"Well?" Kineil asked.

"Oh wow," Teana noised, already reaching for another.

"I told you," Kineil said, dipping one in the ranch dressing and eating it. "Bliss in a ring, isn't it? Now try the French fries."

"It's more than I expected from an appetizer," Teana said, obliging her. "This too, as a matter of fact…."

"Well, if that's to your liking," Sanji said, dancing over with a fresh tray. "Might I recommend the fresh fish fillet with tartar sauce and lemon? Cooked it myself. And a nice white wine to accompany it."

"Did we order something?" Teana asked.

"No, but Sanji likes to feed women," Kineil said as Sanji set the tray on the table and winked at them.

"On the house," he said.

"He makes up for it by charging the men double," Kineil said as he left.

"It's a system that works!" Sanji called back.

"How does he get away with that?" Teana asked. "I'd have thought someone would have gutted him by now."

In response, Kineil indicated the window. "Lovely view, isn't it? Sanji made the hole by kicking someone trying to roughhouse with him straight through the shiplap. The only one tougher than him in here is his father."

"That's more than a little concerning."

"It gets better—you notice how polite everyone is to us? That's because Sanji will give them a beating if they try to mess with the women. This is literally the safest place for a woman around."

"Again, concerning."

"I think it adds some charming atmosphere. Doesn't it, Sanji?"

"We have standards to keep," Sanji agreed, depositing a club sandwich in front of her. "You girls let me know if you need anything else, all right?"

"Certainly, Sanji, thank you."

Teana gave a little smile at his bow. He returned it and departed.

"Well then," Kineil said, unfolding a napkin. "Let's eat."


	42. Talks and Trinkets

**Chapter 42, everybody! In which Kineil in the story and in real life loses her patience and things explode. :\**

 **The movie this week is the 1980 satire film _Airplane!_ —how did a movie pull off _that_ many stunts and references and yet still keep a PG rating?** **…**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, at least there's that—otherwise, that'd be a whole day wasted. D: Definitely—I'm sure he's in there somewhere. :) It depends on how people spend their days, I think—my Dad's used to cooking sausage, bacon, eggs, and potatoes every weekend because he was raised by a generation that was used to eating that and then working outside all day. That** ** _may_** **be the plan, though….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Well, let me put it this way: we used to have those same saloon doors separating the kitchen from the utility room—most fun we ever had with a pair of doors. :D You're not the only one—I just hope it's good. I think that may be true of anywhere you go (and to be honest, that makes me think of Dad eating Chinese food in Mexico). What a pity…true...and oh good. Nope—the line dance was actually called Waltzing Matilda; I didn't realize it was Australian until years later (I just thought it sounded cool). This is true—it gives the cartoon more zing and shows it can handle all sorts of things ( _Batman: the Animated Series_ regularly pushed the boundaries—I have a book about the show, and one page was nothing but a list of what the censors didn't want in _one, single episode_** **—and they went through that rigmarole with _every, single episode_** **). I'm hoping to have _Glint and the Pirates_ be somewhat the same….I have heard of that! I haven't watched it yet, though….**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Nope! Guinea fowl are real birds, with sleek feathers, small heads, big mouths, and speedy feet—we call them the mafia-birds, partially from the sounds they make and the way they move, partially from appearance (you know those spotted feathers you see in Fedoras? Those are guinea feathers). Yes indeed! It's just a little thing he does. :) Yes indeed—haha, me too. :D I've spent the last few years trying to catch up with the manga, and I still haven't yet (so many volumes…).**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _Baby Blues_** **© 1990 Jerry Scott; Rick Kirkman (the trinket Yami Montgau makes is based on a series of strips in the comic)**

 ** _Fried Green Tomatoes_** **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (Skulduggery and the Head Mages)**

 _ **One Piece**_ **© 1998 Eiichiro Oda**

 **Glint and the Pirates, original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

"I don't know why you insisted."

"Because it'll be good for you," Idgy informed Yami. "You need to get out of your funk. Your moping is aggravating Kineil."

"I most certainly don't want _that,"_ Yami said, wincing.

"I don't know why you insisted either," Skulduggery said, patting her on her laced arm. "He's a third wheel. How am I supposed to properly romance you and defend your honor and pass the salt with _him_ around?"

"He's not going to sit between us," Idgy told him.

"He should sit at another table," Skulduggery mused. "That way we can pretend quiet romance."

"I like that idea," Idgy said as they stepped into the River's Run. "I think we should put him at that table right _there."_

"Ah," Skulduggery muttered, upon spotting the intended table. "How duplicitous. Let's do it."

And with that, they parted, went around to either side of Yami, and propelled him forward, ignoring his protests and planting him right in front of Teana.

"Uh," Yami noised, upon spotting her. "Hi."

Teana's response was to point an accusing finger at Kineil. "Did you plan this?" she asked.

"Actually, this was mostly Idgy," Kineil countered. "I just helped."

"It helps that you don't really take _no_ for an answer," Idgy told her. "Now, Yami, you sit down, and Teana, you and Yami talk this thing through."

" _No,"_ Teana said flatly, standing.

Kineil was suddenly up and on the table.

 _"SIT!"_ she bellowed. " _You two are going to sit here and you're going to talk and you're going to STOP being a PAIN in my BEHIND!"_ Then, to the suddenly silent room at large: "If these two get up before they've talked everything out—and I mean until they have _exhausted all conversation,_ I want you to _shoot_ them. Are we clear?"

Those assembled nodded and then quickly went back to their meals.

Sanji stuck his head out to see what the fuss was about. "Hoi!" he yelled. "That's not what the tables are for!"

"I've seen them used that way," Kineil countered.

"Yeah, but on the weekends! Today's _Wednesday!"_

"Before I do," she posed.

And then she grabbed Yami by the lapels and pulled him forward—Idgy figured she was taking advantage of the table height.

" _You,"_ Kineil hissed. "Don't bother coming back home until you've gotten this squared away."

Yami looked suitably confused. "Are you kicking me out of my own home?" he asked.

"I am," she said, releasing him to point at Teana. "And _you_ ….I know where you live."

"And that terrifies me to no end," Teana replied mildly.

"Good. I'm glad we had this little chat."

And with that, Kineil hopped off the table and straightened her jacket.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I must go mingle," she said, departing. "Glint! _Hey, Glint!"_

Idgy poked Yami in his side. "Sit," she ordered. Then, to Skulduggery: "Come on; let's see if Sanji has a table for us."

Sanji quickly kicked a couple of pirates out to allow them to sit in a corner table.

"I didn't realize there was going to be a dinner show tonight," Sanji said, serving their preferred drinks.

"Didn't you _hear?"_ Skulduggery asked him. "This is the top-ticket bet at the Revue."

"Ooh—is it too late to bet?"

"It should be soon," Idgy said, watching Yami and Teana fidget at their table across the room. "We'll just have to wait and see."

*/*\\*

"So what does this spell do?"

"Well, after you wrap everything together, you're supposed to touch it to your forehead, think of your worries, and then release it on the wind," Yami explained, wrapping the ingredients together with twine.

"And that's really a spell," Kels commented, sitting on her fence, looking down at Yami leaning against the fencepost.

"It's a start," Yami told her. "I wanted to go with something simple first—this was the Skellington Mage's personal spellbook; I'm not going to dive in on some complex spell that'll turn me into a slug if I get it wrong."

"Uh-huh," Kels noised, turning to watch Yuki play with her chickens. "Back to brass tacks: that was a spellbook from the Boogie Mage."

"Yes."

"In your attic."

"Yes."

"And how did it get there?"

"I'm going to guess my great-grandfather."

"And it wouldn't be the sort of thing the Administrators would have gotten first."

"I'm detecting a questioning of my logic."

"I just find it highly suspect," Kels told him. "And I think it might be best if you _do_ stop and think things through on this. Why would that book be in _your_ attic?"

"Ah, but Kels," he noised, finishing the trinket up and examining it. "To find out, I would have to ask _questions_. Questions that would need to be asked to someone. Someone who would most likely flay me alive—and that's just my parents."

"I'm fairly certain they wouldn't flay you alive."

"No, but they _would_ take the spellbook away—which would defeat the purpose of finding it."

"I suppose," Kels sighed. "But if this goes sideways, I'm jumping ship."

"Your unwavering support bolsters me more than you know," Yami said sarcastically, before putting the trinket to his forehead. Think of all the frustrating things, picture it being channeled into the trinket, and then throw it up into the air—huh, surprise surprise, the wind _did_ catch it.

They watched it drift away for a few moments.

"I notice the trinket exploded," Kels said.

"I did too," Yami said.

"Was it supposed to do that?"

"I have no idea."

"Either that proves my point about the spellbook, or you _really_ have issues."

"It may be a little of both," Yami admitted, shrugging a little before standing and dusting his pants off. "Come on, Yuki," he called. "We ought to get home."

"You _are_ going to think about what I said, right?" Kels asked as they left.

"Most definitely," Yami told her. "Probably tonight, when I'm staring at my ceiling because I can't sleep."

"That's the best time for introspection."

"Right. Catch you later, Kels."

"See ya, boys—and stay out of trouble."

"Please," Yami scoffed. "You know us."

"And it is for that _precise_ reason why I'm telling you that. I mean it—watch your back; you don't want to end up like the Boogie Mage."

No, no he did not.

But he was smarter than _that_.

He could pull this off.

Most definitely.

Maybe.


	43. Conversational Interaction

**Chapter 43, everybody! In which couples discourse and something approaching plot happens….**

 **No movie this week—was too busy trying to get a comic and three pages of writing done before a thunderstorm decides to knock our power out. :\**

 **And about the book discussion there—Dad's always been a fan of John Grisham, and he's gotten me into his works too lately (** ** _Gray Mountain_** **—wow. I want to go back to the mountains while they're still there. T-T And then** ** _Bleachers_** **and** ** _Skipping Christmas_** **…he's got a whole stack I'm working through now). And for the Stephen King reference—Mom used to read his works before she had me—and then she got to** ** _Christine_** **, slogged through it thinking "This has** ** _got_** **to get better—it's Stephen King!" and then didn't realize Christine was a car until she saw the movie. :\ I, meanwhile, have never read Stephen King (with the minor exception of a bit of** ** _The Green Mile_** **), simply because I like to sleep at night (the synopses were enough for me *~*). And yes,** ** _Flowers in the Attic_** **and the sequel** ** _If There Be Thorns_** **were two of the weirder stories I read (mostly because I spent most of the reading yelling** ** _stop being an idiot!_** **at the characters).**

 **In other news, "snit in a bit" is something my Mom says, and is related to getting sand stuck in your craw (which is what my Dad says).**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, bless activity—I think magic-casting burns calories, too, so there's that (ooh, skiing! Love that! :D). Too true, too true…*glances sideways at her soda* Mom always limited us from drinking too much—two a day max, and only after noon (although now I barely drink one after five—my taste buds seem to have matured). This is true—hopefully nothing goes flying. Yes, they must! Plot demands it! The writer demands it! Shape up, you two! And yes, he is—and no, he doesn't….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! I think it was supposed to take Yami's worries away—the fact that it exploded probably means that he has more worries than he likes to let on (I'm concerned that I didn't get that across properly—*goes back to reevaluate and perhaps edit*). Yes, some people entertain too easily—but then again, it's the simple things that often turn out to be the most fun, if approached correctly. It's going to be a sleeper hit….I guess it could be viewed like that—that one and "Tie me kangaroo down" (which makes me wonder what the world views as a typical American song…). It does. :D Yes, as Rae and Wilson pointed out in** ** _The Frost King_** **, adults are simply children who survived the experience. :D Yes, it did get extremely popular all of a sudden, didn't it?...**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Yes, what indeed? Oh yes, they haven't been hanging out lately—oops. *checks next few chapters* They won't for a while, as the next handful of chapters takes place over a weekend and family time is taken, but I'll throw those two back together on their Monday. :) Yes…you have no idea how painful this whole thing was to write (it involved a lot of minor typing, getting up, walking to the kitchen and back, sitting down, and writing three more words before doing the whole thing again). Yes, at least the food's good. :D**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Corpse Bride_** **© 2005 Tim Burton (one of Yami's sisters)**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say, pal, you talking about me?")**

 ** _Robots_** **© 2005 Chris Wedge; Blue Sky ("Boy, when you pick a lost cause you really commit!")**

 ** _Fried Green Tomatoes_** **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (Skulduggery and the Head Mages)**

 ** _One Piece_** **© 1998 Eiichiro Oda**

 _ **Flowers in the Attic**_ **© 1979 V.C. Andrews (if this story references an attic, it's guaranteed there'll be a reference to** _ **Flowers in the Attic**_ **—** **absolutely** _ **weird**_ **series, by the way)**

 _ **Criminal Minds**_ **© 2005 Jeff Davis (the other side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Quantum Leap_** **© 1989** **Belisarius Productions ("To put right where once went wrong….")**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Teana wasn't sure what to make of someone skinnier than her with two feet of clearance on her fidgeting like a little boy.

He _did_ finally get ready to say something, raising a finger as he did so. "Ah—"

"Don't," Teana said icily. "Let me guess: you orchestrated the whole thing."

"Actually, I had no idea this was going on until Skul and Idgy shoved me over here," he said. "Although I'm sure that means nothing to you—after all, I'm probably responsible for everything from the Apple down as far as you're concerned."

"That's not fair—"

"Neither is this!" he cut in, both palms out in a controlled gesture. "What does it say that the people we know are conspiring against us like this?"

"That they're interested in _your_ best interests?"

Yami gave that some thought. "That horrifies me to no end. I thought that only extended to my family."

"Maybe the girl you're living with is aggravated with you."

"She is, but I doubt that's the point. Or maybe it is—I'm not sure anymore."

"Now that's just sad."

"It is."

"Explain to me why I'm wasting my time with you?"

"Because Kineil threatened you with a roomful of pirates and Gypsians?"

"I take comfort in the knowledge that Sanji would probably knock them all out before they had a chance."

"Sanji would have to get in line."

"I'm not yours to protect."

"You're not anyone's," Yami countered. "You're not an object, you're a person—and if I ever meet whoever has convinced you otherwise, they'll wish they'd never been born."

"There you go again—"

"So I'm not allowed to solve your problems?"

" _No,_ you are _not—_ not everyone wants their problems solved!"

"How does that even _remotely_ make sense?"

This felt very much like her argument with Kineil, and she crossed her arms and glared out the window rather than continue to pursue a useless topic. This was a waste of her time.

She looked back at Yami to see him knocking his knuckles together and looking at a knot in the wood of the table—it was weird, she decided, seeing the Head Mage like this. Someone who was supposed to be the head of the country, who would live thousands of years and control and affect the lives of millions of people, sitting there at an absolute loss for words.

It was also weird, she decided, knowing that he had probably been at this job for longer than she had been living.

He was rubbing the tips of his pointer fingers against the grain of the wood now. "So," he noised finally. "What do you think of the place?"

"Tell me," she said. "And be honest: how much experience with women do you actually _have?"_

He bit his lip and glanced sideways. "Well…Kineil…and my sisters—which really didn't prepare me for…romantic attempts, to be honest….Helen would have hit me by now."

Sisters as in plural? "How many sisters do you _have?"_

"Two—the middle sister Emily and the elder sister Helen. Emily is…vaguely girly, I suppose…but Helen's never had much patience for waffling."

"Is Helen married?"

"Ha! No—she hasn't encountered anyone to suit her yet. She's…like Kineil, but taller." He drummed his fingers. "What about you? Any siblings?"

"Only child. Are you seriously trying to make small talk with me?"

"I _do_ want to be able to go home at some point."

"I doubt Kineil could keep you out of your house forever."

"I'm sorry, have you _met_ Kineil?"

"I think I'm going to have to move—she knows where I live now."

"The Texan Republic lost a marvelous asset when she left."

"Oh, is that where she's from?"

"Explains a lot, doesn't it?"

"No."

Conversation stalled again.

"I don't suppose you'd let me apologize, would you?" Yami asked finally.

"It doesn't matter what I do," Teana informed him.

"It matters to _me."_

Her expression must have prompted him to continue. "I know, I know," he said. "I'm a horrible arrogant toerag who should actually be doing his job instead of wasting his time on a member of the _wait staff_. How _dare_ I look at a woman and see anything but her status. How _dare_ I be interested in her opinion. How _dare_ I care. Am I getting close?"

She blinked, reflecting that she might finally be seeing the end of Yami's seemingly infinite patience. "Yes," she said, deciding to push it—maybe if she did, he'd leave her alone. "How dare you."

She was expecting to see a flare of temper, so his look of hurt was actually surprising.

"You should invest in someone else," Teana pressed.

"I can't," he said, looking wistfully amused. "I'm not interested in anyone else—not in _that_ way."

"Wow," she noised. "When you commit to a stupid idea, you really stick with it, don't you?"

"I've been told that."

Conversation stalled again. This was ridiculous—it was like that _unstoppable force meets immovable object_ thing. She was _not_ getting romantically involved with a Magician again, and he wasn't taking _no_ for an answer. Short of killing him, she had no immediate idea of how to dissuade him.

And to be honest, she really didn't like the idea of him being dead—it made her blood cold.

"The atmosphere leaves something to be desired," she said finally. "But the food is good."

Yami seemed more than a little stunned. " _Huh?"_

"You asked me what I thought of the place. That's what I think of the place."

He blinked a few times. "Okay…and what was your opinion of the Revue, since I didn't get it."

"Good food, but again, there was something left to be desired with the atmosphere."

"Max has that effect."

Sanji deposited a tray of food and drinks and kept going.

"Well then," Yami said, warming to the subject. "Where _would_ you like to eat?"

"Someplace where you don't know anyone," she returned.

Long, _long_ silence.

"Does such a place even exist?" she asked.

"Don't worry," Yami said, pulling a dish over. "I'll find someplace that fits the bill eventually."

*/*\\*

"That book boring?"

"Hmm?" Greg noised, looking up. He and Jenna were currently sitting in bed, and she was watching him with some concern. "Uh…why?"

In response, she pointed at one line. "You've been staring right there for the past thirty minutes, and I'm of the opinion that John Grisham is more diverting than _that._ "

"I don't know, we thought the same about Stephen King until we read _Christine_."

"I can't believe that was about a _car_."

"I know, right? It left something to be desired."

"And yet that's not what's eating you."

Greg couldn't help but sigh. "No, no it isn't."

"What is it then?"

He turned the topic over in his head, trying to decide how best to approach it.

"Administrator Carter," he said finally. "I asked for some files from the library, and he brings them to me…plus one."

"Plus one?" she echoed.

"Yes…and then when I confront him about it….Do we have any pictures from _your_ side of the family?"

Jenna gave that some thought. "If we do, I think the rats have got to them by now—they're either in the storage cave or…."

"Or?"

"The boys were in the attic the other day."

"Our boys?"

"No, random ones off the street—yes, _ours_. Who else?"

"You don't think they found any photographs, do you?"

"I'm sure we would have heard something. Like 'Mom, who's this guy with hair like mine?'"

Greg gave that some thought. "What else is in that attic?"

"Four fair-headed children?"

"I want you to know that was one of the weirder books I ever read."

"Even more than _Christine_?"

"Yes. I'm serious, what else is up there?"

" _Why_ do you want to know? What did Administrator Carter _do_ to get your snit in a bit?"

Again, a heavy internal debate, but he was certain the choices were either the truth or the couch. "The…plus one Administrator Carter gave me—it was a file from the cold cases room."

"Oh?"

"On Teana Gardenier."

 _"Oh."_

"Yes. And then he gives me a picture from back then before making himself scarce."

"Oh."

"And thus you see my issue."

"I do. Can I see the photo?"

"I don't know, I'm pretty comfortable…."

Jenna poked him in the side. Hard.

"All right, _all right!"_ he yelped as she pulled a pillow into play. "I'll get it—just hold on!"

He padded over to his jacket, picked it up, fished in the pockets….

Double-checked them all….

"It's not there," he said.

"What?" Jenna asked.

"I don't get it—I put it in my inside pocket so it wouldn't get lost—why isn't it—"

He stopped, the answer occurring to him.

"Administrator Carter," he said, looking at Jenna. "He must have snagged it back somehow—used his shadow magic to pick my pockets, or summoned it back—" quick check of the wallet—money still there. "He summoned it back."

"Why?" Jenna asked.

Greg gave that some thought. "I suppose it could implicate him…why would it implicate him? Why would he give me that picture and that file in the _first_ place?"

"Maybe you should ask him tomorrow."

Greg reflected on his _last_ conversation with Administrator Carter. "Third day he's away on urgent business," he recounted, ticking it off on his hand. "Fourth day, he just doesn't show up for work. Fifth day, Administrator Sumbinix just gives up—which brings us to a weekend, and he won't be available then."

"And this is one of the guys running the country," Jenna said flatly.

"Be glad he only has one vote," Greg said, returning his jacket to its hanger and heading back for bed, upon which he flopped down face-first on. Ow—book edge jabbing into his ribs.

Jenna was quiet as he fished the book out from under him. "It's a little peculiar," she said finally. "That he'd do this sort of thing, isn't it? Being an Administrator and all."

"More than a little," Greg said, righting himself. "But then again, Administrator Carter does strike me as the sort to entertain himself by kicking hornet nests."

"Uh huh. And your plan is to, what, avoid getting stung?"

"That would be the smart plan."

"The way you say that makes me think that's not the plan you're going to pursue."

He adjusted himself so he was facing her. "Yes, that would be the smart plan—and yet right there, the stunt he pulled…it could be the break we need."

"Excuse me?"

"What if…this is the break we needed to right a few past wrongs?"

"What if…the Administrators find out? Then you'd be playing poker with Skellington."

"This is true."

"I get the feeling you're planning on doing this anyway."

"Well, _I_ personally don't plan on it…."

"Don't wonder where our sons' conniving streak comes from."

"My brother Hotch arrives this weekend," he told her. "I ask nicely, and he'll have his best team on it when he gets back to the Capitol."

"Are you sure that's such a good idea?"

Greg shrugged. "The Administrators and the Civil Branch have never worked that closely together—and under severest technicality, Teana Gardenier could be considered a Commoner. So _technically_ , the people to be handling this would be the Civil Branch."

"The phrase 'ridiculously dangerous' comes to mind," Jenna said. She waited a few moments before continuing. "Where's the folder now? Reappropriated again? You didn't leave it on your _desk_ , did you?"

"That one actually is in my briefcase," he said. "I said I had some work to catch up on. There is, of course, the chance that they have tracking spells on it, but I'm hoping the Administrators are too busy with Administrator Carter to notice."

"So your plans hinge on a lazy, chain-smoking hustler?"

"It does sound full of holes when you put it that way."

She fiddled with a page of her book, snapped it shut, put it aside, and turned her light off before kissing him on the cheek.

"You'd better do some hard praying the next few weeks," she informed him.

"Yeah," Greg said, doing the same on his side of the bed as she snuggled under the covers. "That occurred to me too."


	44. Late-Night Musings

**Chapter 44, everybody! Which is a bit sedate, but we needed it. Now on to the next event! :D**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! It is a little vague, I'll admit—and yes, poor Yami! D: Yes, she's had previous messes before…now if only she'd tell me about them….Well, Greg** ** _does_** **have more experience, we have to give him that. And yes, if some communicating doesn't happen soon, that's exactly what will happen—and that last bit made me think of this: "** ** _Camptown races sing this song, do-dah, do dah…."_**

 **FicReader, thanks for the ninety-ninth and hundredth review! Darn phone, but still. Yes indeed! And yes indeed….Nice—I can get that analogy. Yes…and me too—this whole arc came out of nowhere for me, and while I like it for the worldbuilding, it's aggravating from the perspective of** ** _he's a nice guy! Hello!?_** **And yes, persistence can be a bad thing, as can nosy friends who take bets on whether or not he falls flat on his face or not. And yes, yes, and oh yes—it makes you wonder how those goons got into power to begin with….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for review number one-hundred-and-one! Yes, he could. Oh good—although to be honest, my descriptions do leave something to be desired at times (the Frost King, for example). Yes indeed…and yes indeed—but after** ** _Jurassic World_** **, I'm a little leery of fresh entries to franchises I love (** ** _whyyyyy_** **). I looked it up—apparently it was sung by an Australian and was a big hit worldwide in the sixties, so it's an older song (it's a pretty decent earworm for being basically a death ballad, as the guy singing dies by the end of the song). I'm not sure either—plenty of country music, certainly, or maybe "The Battle of New Orleans." Hmmm…I'll put it on my "to-check" list then….**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say, pal, you talking about me?")**

 ** _Harry Potter_** **series © 1997 J.K. Rowling (the rubber duck comment comes from Arthur Weasley in the second movie)**

 ** _The Lone Ranger_** **© 2013 Gore Verbinski (the watch)**

 ** _Peanuts_** **© 1950 Charles M. Schulz**

 ** _One Piece_** **© 1998 Eiichiro Oda**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

"You folks having a good time?"

Teana and Yami both looked up at the new voice. "Oh, uh, Teana, this is Zeff, the proprietor," Yami said, indicating the man in a chef's outfit before them. He had a braided moustache and a peg leg, and struck Teana as more _pirate_ than _proprietor_. "Zeff, this is Teana. We were having a heated discussion over the intent behind the creation of the rubber duck."

"I noticed," Zeff said. "I could have cooked over that discussion—which you're going to have to have somewhere else."

"Were we that heated that you need to kick us out?"

But Teana noticed what Zeff must have meant. "Yami," she said. "There's no one else here."

"I don't count?" Sanji asked, already out and sweeping. The light outside indicated pre-dawn gloom.

"No," Zeff told him. Then, to Yami and Teana: "Again, you have to leave at closing time. Your bill," he added, handing Yami a slip.

Teana coughed out a laugh at how Yami's eyebrows shot up. "Please tell me I didn't eat this much," he said.

"No, but I have to make up for lost revenue. Now out, before I flip that seat over with you in it."

Within a few minutes, they were walking away from the River's Run, gingerly stepping over the sleeping forms of pirates and Gypsians scattered about the yard.

"Don't they have anyplace better to sleep?" she asked.

"They will when Sanji starts throwing water on them," Yami said, helping her weave through the yard and onto the road. "Can I escort you home?"

"I don't know—what time is it?"

He pulled out a pocket watch, swung it around his hand, popped it open in his palm. "Five-thirty—wow."

"I have a job I have to be at in thirty minutes."

"What on earth do you do that requires you to be up that early?"

"Not all of us have the luxury of sleeping in."

"A true pity. Can I escort you to your job, then?"

"If you must," Teana sighed, accepting his hand and following him along the road. To be honest, she wasn't all that thrilled about walking through the woods this—late? Early?—by herself anyway.

"So," he noised after a while. "Am I forgiven for things I have no control over?"

"The jury hasn't come back on that yet," she said, prompting him to sag. "I'll be honest, I like things better _without_ a whole troupe of people invested in the outcome."

"I heard them betting on us," he muttered. "You disappointed a lot of people by not throwing your drink in my face."

"That _would_ explain the round of applause at me throwing a French fry at you."

"It would—which is more than a little weird."

They were out of the woods now, literally—now, she supposed, for the figurative.

"I suppose I forgive you," she said. "Ish."

"Ish?" he asked, confused.

She stopped at a diner by the train station—her morning job. "I reserve the right to not have my every waking moment occupied by you," she said. "And…yes, I suppose I offered you the whole year—just stop trying to cram the whole year into one month."

He gave that some thought as she climbed the short flight of stairs—not letting go of her hand yet; his long reach meant he could do it.

"Fair enough," he said. "So…when are you free next?"

"My next several days' worth of free time will be devoted to catching up on the sleep I missed tonight." Then, after a brief hesitation: "I'll send you a letter letting you know."

He looked distinctly brighter at that. "Okay, I suppose I could live with that."

"Good, because that's what you're getting. And no loitering around your mailbox like Charlie Brown in the funnies."

"Are you sure? I know some people who would be sorely disappointed at the missed opportunity."

"I'm sure. You'll get a letter next week. Fair enough?"

"I suppose."

"Good. You can let go now."

He did so.

"Goodbye, Mr. Skellington," she began.

"Oh please don't call me that," he said. "That's remarkably…formal."

"Let's keep it that way for now," she said, opening the diner door and stepping in. She went to the employee coat racks, deposited her coat on it, put an apron on, and picked up the mop and returned to the front room. Yami was gone by then, thank goodness. She began cleaning as the sun thought about rising over the Eastern Hills.

And then something loud and clattery and cacophonous roared by. Teana jumped up—managed to catch the tail-end of Hephaestus, Vulcan and Kineil cheering in a device that was vehicle-like in appearance—

The conversation from what felt like a lifetime ago came back to her—those three had been making a car on Yami's dime.

And apparently, they had completed it.

"That," she managed finally. "Is going to be a major menace to the road."

*/*\\*

Maxwell checked his watch, glanced up at the clock tower. It was smaller than the one in Delvaire, but it did the job well enough.

He snapped his watch shut, debated on the merits of staying in Dais Run—rumor had it a tar beast had taken up residence in the area, and Maxwell knew that the rats in the area were voracious and vicious. But it was the first place he had leapt to when he decided to be away on urgent business, so….

He stood, walked through the little park, giving other locations thought. Massenborough was a joke. Nawleans was _not_ the place to fall asleep in; Jois-Outside-of-Norkyew and Norkyew proper weren't too bad, if you didn't mind the fact that they were built on dead cities. And no one in their right mind slept in the wilderness by themselves. Except for Skellington, come to think of it—but he had never been in his right mind.

Maxwell sighed, reached into his pocket, pulled out the picture he had retrieved from Head Mage Montgau without Montgau realizing—the fact that he _had_ pulled a fast one on the Head Mage, _ha!_

He examined it before folding it back up and putting it back in his pocket—he didn't need to give the painful memories any more impetus than they had.

He stopped, slammed his heels together, fell through his own shadow, came back out in a town by one of the Thesdell's tributaries. Didn't remember the name of the river or the town at the moment, but he was sure it'd come back to him. He _did_ remember that this was the town where the Naguses met their fateful end at the hands of the Administrators—experimenting with Chaos-magic and transmogrification; how ridiculously dangerous, according to the Administrators.

He took off his jacket, rolled it up, used it as a pillow when he found a relatively soft-looking street bench and reclined on it. One leg dangled off the end as the other was tucked up against him, basically, but he didn't mind—he had slept in worse.

Staring at the starry sky, he reflected on the actions he had taken. This could be the end of him, if it blew up in his face.

Somehow, he didn't mind the idea of an end to this mess.

 _I'm not in a position to be asking favors,_ he thought skywards. _But let this work out positively. Please?_

That requested, he curled up on the bench, huddled against the first stirrings of autumn, and fell asleep.

Here was hoping.


	45. Actions and Words

**Chapter 45, everybody! Which begins a lengthy reference to the movie** ** _Fried Green Tomatoes_** **….**

 **In other news…we also get some insight into the two schools of thought in Delvaire, which reflects my own experiences with organized religion. I'm a God-loving Christian. I loved my Bible classes. I loved singing in church. I did** ** _not_** **like my first college, which had services very much like the one Yami Montgau slouches through. Dry sermons have never made any sense to me, considering the Reference Material: murder, cataclysms, war, plagues, the apocalypse—never let it be said that the Bible is boring. So…I'm not really certain what to say about these next few chapters, except to say that you shouldn't let other people tell you what the Bible says, you should read it yourself and find out. And also keep in mind that while God does say to gather in His presence, He also has a few things to say about organized religion (and here I point out Jesus and the Pharisees).**

 **Okay…now that that's said….The tree scenes were written after we went and helped a family friend with a few fallen trees—when real life writes the plot….And yes, there really was such a thing as a travelling preacher—circuit-riding preachers were common in the western settlements of America, as ranches, houses, and settlements were few and far between, and getting them all to a single building simply wasn't feasible. So, they sent the preacher to them. :)**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, me too—they were beginning to get a little frustrating….Um…too many (FicReader was nice enough to tally them all up, though: three steady jobs [bookkeeping, waitressing, and bartending], one seasonal job [the Masquerade Ball], and one she quit [the coat checker])—and that may be why she's so grumpy all the time….Good question—and I do too; that paragraph right there sums the situation up quite well (I swear, you need to write my loglines). Well, it was a family, not a village, but that doesn't make it any better….**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Yes indeed—I was amazed too. :D Thank you! Yes—it's kind of a reference to my parents talking through till five, and Dad had a five-thirty wake-up call. Thank you for tallying all that up—I think that's the extent of her employments, but that's still a lot; but if you have to work three jobs to pay the bills….Yes indeed, a round of applause for them—including my Mom, who's work history prior to Dad is precisely what Teana's work history is based off of; it's not easy, and it takes some special people to pull it off.**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! No, you haven't got your times wrong—Yami and Teana did indeed stay up all night talking; that was based off of my own parents when they first met (they parted ways, Dad went back to his hotel room, called up the desk, and said "You know that five-thirty wake-up call I wanted? Can you make it six?" Dad made that call at five). Really? Yes! Always hard to balance too much and not enough….This is true…** ** _Jurassic World_** **might have been much better if Steven Spielberg had a hand in it—he's always been good at characters. *goes to cry in the corner due to regularly listening/watching stuff that old* Interesting…I wonder if that's just odd coincidence or a recurring theme….I'm sure it's filling you with determination (which marks the end of my** ** _Undertale_** **references, as I haven't played the game). I tentatively want to say Toby Keith's song "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue"—strong patriotism coupled with "come on, $%#^ with me—I'll kick your *$$" seems to do it (comment edited due to the fact that we have enough dirty language on the Internet already…).**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment (a certain woodsman who smells remarkably like beaver…)**

 ** _Fried Green Tomatoes_** **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (Skulduggery and the Head Mages)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Teana liked church.

She especially liked the little church she attended. It was in a little glade in the forest, near the river and within listening distance to the train tracks that snaked around the bottom of the Giant Mountains and up north around Delvaire. It had good music, and it never got too hot in the summer.

She also liked Reverend Richards, who was currently bearing down on his subject with true Southern-Baptist fervor.

"Today we're going to talk about _snakes!_ And _s_ _erpents!_ Now the first snake in the Garden did great evil in deceiving the first woman, but that's not the end of it!"

A sharp honking came through the open windows, interrupting the sermon. Teana turned along with the rest of the church, and slapped a hand to her mouth to keep from exclaiming. Outside, on the cacophonic contraption that they had the nerve to call a _car_ , was Hephaestus, Vulcan, and Kineil. Hephaestus was driving, Vulcan shotgun, Kineil in the rumble seat, laughing raucously and waving as they drove by at unhealthy speeds.

" _Snakes_ and _serpents_!" the Reverend continued, yelling out the window and sending the sermon after them.

Teana turned her head, not quite comprehending that group, when she saw a familiar face.

On the other side of the aisle, a few rows back, was Idgy Pleasant, Skulduggery's wife the Bee Charmer. She gave a little finger wave then held up her hymnal, hiding her grin. Teana kept her hand on her mouth—no need for everyone to see her laughing.

*/*\\*

Yami felt more communion when he _wasn't_ in church.

It wasn't anything wrong with church as a whole—more that having to attend in the upper-class' denomination put a cramp in the whole thing. He'd have rather gone to the church by the river, where most of the time was spent singing and praising and generally basking in joy, rather than being dull and downbeat and generally looking like a lemon was swallowed.

But that was the price of being the Head Mage's son—they had to be with the upper-class, not associating with those by the river.

Which reminded him….

His great-aunt Abby O'Neal had had a tree fall near her house in the woods, and she had interpreted it as a gift from mother earth that should not be wasted. So the whole family was invited to come and help her prepare it for winter use—using saws and axes, of course; one did not soil a gift from nature by using magic to cheapen it.

He had to wonder about that side of his family—they had their own unique peculiarities, being Hippies from the forest. In addition to the basic Judeo-Christian tenets that pretty much everyone followed, the Hippies also believed in celebrating the life of all things. This made certain things like birthdays extra-fun, but it also made it awkward when Abby asked him if he had thanked the animal who had given its life so he could eat its meat. Generally, it was best to avoid eating meat altogether around her.

On the plus side, mother earth and her buddies often gave Abby nice recipes for potions and simples and lemonade—and Larry was disdainful enough of the Administration that he'd be more than willing to help Yami on his knowledge quest. Provided he remembered, of course.

Now, to only get through the sermon.

 _When I'm Head Mage, I am going to ban monotonous speaking altogether,_ he promised himself.

It helped a little.

*\\*/*

After the sermon, which had gained added fervor from the Reverend's indignation, Teana made her way over to where Idgy was standing, keeping her eye on the stylish hat with the short veil.

"I'm surprised to see you here," Teana said, smiling. "I thought you'd be at a church at the other end of town, with your husband." Here Teana leaned over slightly, noting that he wasn't with her.

"If you're looking for Skul and Jack, they're still in bed," Idgy laughed. "And I come to this end of town because I like the preachers better," she added as they came even with Reverend Richards.

"Thank you Mrs. Pleasant," the Reverend said, shaking her hand. "Say, you know Miss Wicks—would you mind tying her to one of my pews one day?"

Idgy laughed. "Now Reverend, you told me once that if people don't want to listen they won't."

"That's true," the Reverend said, releasing her hand and accepting Teana's; he pointed at Teana. "I saw you laughing."

"Sorry, Reverend," Teana said, blushing.

"You're forgiven—now stay on the straight and narrow."

"I'll keep an eye out for snakes and serpents!" Teana said as she walked away, following Idgy. "Thanks to you, I'll be able to tell which are which!"

He laughed and dismissed her.

Snakes and serpents, she reflected….Why did she have the feeling she had already run into some?

*/*\\*

After the sermon finally ended, the Montgaus went back to their house first to change out of their Sunday best.

After all, woodcutting was hard work.

While they were changing, Yami took the opportunity to call Kels up and ask her and her family for help. They were good about working the land, and they burned wood in the winter, so they definitely had an axe to lend—and they weren't weird about it like that one woodsman in the woods who talked to his axe and had an unhealthy obsession with beavers.

They worked for about an hour before Abby came out with her homemade lemonade. They had gotten quite a bit done, but there was still a lot to go—this was going to take a while.

Kels' family was going to take a few cords in exchange for their extra labor—Yami doubted Abby or Larry would notice. Larry definitely wouldn't. Which reminded him….

"Larry," Yami asked, tapping the Hippie on the shoulder.

"Nothing," Larry said quickly, tossing his sandwich away.

"You're sneaking meat again, aren't you?"

"I have a fifth amendment right preventing me from implicating myself."

It boggled Yami's mind that he could remember that, and yet not remember where he put his shoes.

"I have a need to stick it to the man," Yami declared, deciding to switch over to Hippie-speak.

"Righteous, man," Larry said, pumping his fist. "What do you need?"

"Just a few different herbs for now—incense burning stuff."

"No need to justify it to me—I won't judge."

"That reminds me—how's your oregano doing?"

"I don't have to tell you—I have a—"

"'Fifth amendment right preventing you from implicating yourself,'" Yami said along with Larry.

"Right. What were we talking about?"

"Herbs, Larry."

"Righteous. Come on—you can see how my oregano's doing."

*\\*/*

"You've known Kineil longer than I have," Teana said to Idgy. "Tell me: is she always like that?"

"You mean 'can you believe her?'" Idgy corrected. "Kineil comes from the Texan Republic—she's used to circuit-riding preachers who get right to the point because they don't have much time. She's never been good with churches." Idgy took her hat off and let her short hair down, then turned and smiled at Teana. "Kineil's more about actions than words. After all, that's all we can judge people in this life by: actions and words."

"Hmm," Teana noised, digesting this notion. "And what about your husband and son? Skulduggery and Jack?"

"They say they like it better coming from me," Idgy replied. "You get them in a pew and after five minutes they look like they have ants crawling all over them."

Teana laughed, squinting a little as they came out of the forest and into the sun. "I suppose the rest of them are in the same mould."

"Pretty much. Like I said, actions and words."

"Hmm," Teana said again. "Maybe we should change the subject—we're getting awfully close to two taboo subjects."

"Let me guess, religion and politics?" Idgy asked. When Teana nodded, she tossed her head back and laughed. "You don't have to worry about me—I have an opinion, but I'm also open-minded."

They reached Teana's cross street. "Well, it was nice talking to you."

"You too," Idgy said, and continued on her way. She stopped a few feet away, then turned and ran back to Teana. "Say—do you want to do something fun tonight?"

"Um, sure," Teana said, confused. "What kind of fun?"

Idgy grinned. "The kind of fun that shows you the kind of people you're dealing with."

"Am I going to regret this?"

"I don't think so," Idgy said, tapping her arm. "I'll come collect you about six-thirty. Sound good?"

"Yeah…yeah, that sounds good," Teana said, still lukewarm to the idea.

"Perfect! See you then!" Idgy said, then ran off down her street, not looking like the prim wife of a Magician.

Teana shook her head and continued on to her apartment. She was seeing just what kind of people she was dealing with already….


	46. The Maze and the Ethics

**Chapter 46, everybody! In which main characters get lost and jump from moving trains…please don't do that at home. D:**

 **The movie this week is** ** _A Monster in Paris_** **—technically watched it** ** _last_** **week with my parents, but it needed to be mentioned here: gorgeous art, clever design, and a story that entertained two adults and one young adult in denial about being an adult. D: Although come to think of it, my parents are in denial about being adults too….**

 **And happy Victoria Day, everybody! Which, according to my calendar, is a Canadian holiday. But any day is a good day to celebrate, so happy Victoria Day! :D**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes—it's not common, but it does happen on occasion. I'm of the opinion that religion is different than Christianity (I'm not really churchgoing either). Definitely the former, but the latter might be at the other end of town. I don't know—my knowledge of Phil Collins music stops after his Disney work. ^^; We'll get back down to brass tacks soon, don't worry—hey, so do we! :D And mint—he can have all the mint he wants.**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Yes, I mentioned it because I knew it would show up (these next few chapters were some of the first I wrote for the story). It gets some mentions, but not overwhelmingly so, as I have never mastered the art of including such topics without sounding overly preachy (I've read stories like that, and I want it to sound natural). An interesting sermon, I think, would be very much like my Bible classes throughout grade school—an hour long with an animated (physically, not literally) teacher (I had one who looked like Bill Nye the Science Guy, and he was all over the front of the classroom when he was teaching :D). Yes, we all have opinions, so respecting them is key—and I thank you for capitalizing the Bible; I don't see that nearly enough online. ;v; Eheheh, probably—if you've never watched** ** _Dharma and Greg_** **, I suggest you remedy that; Larry's oregano spiel comes from the second episode of the first season (and fortunately, at the time of typing this, full episodes are available on YouTube). And yes, he does talk like that on the show. XD You should, it's a good movie—that one and movies like** ** _Lawless,_** ** _Public Enemies,_** **and other movies set in that time period (like** ** _Shawshank Redemption_** **) tend to get referenced in this story, as those were the basic inspirations for this whole thing (the twentieth century was awesome, in my opinion—at least, what we see in entertainment media is).**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes, no waffling—that was the great thing about my Bible classes: videotaped, so the teachers knew to get to the point quickly, elsewise their waffling would be recorded until the end of the world. It also kept things moving nicely, as they tended to end on a "to be continued" note (except for one teacher who told us about a prank he and a buddy pulled on his friend—we never did find out what happened when his friend found out, as the bell rang before he could finish). Aha, thank you! I had a fun time writing that—Larry's such a fun character. :D They can sleep when they're dead—and actually, this makes the first time any of the characters have actually stayed up all night (I think—now you're going to make me look). Yes….*insert fist-pump here* Yes…so here's hoping the Yu-Gi-Oh! movie is good, what with Kazuki Takahashi being involved….I do know a bit about it (thank you, DeviantArt), but the first video I watched was the Sans battle that occurs if you kill his brother, and his first line kind of made me go** ** _ehhh…._** **I** ** _have_** **heard nothing but positive things about it, though. Yes it does…and no problem. ;)**

 **References:**

 _ **Yu-Gi-Oh!**_ **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 _ **The Nightmare Before Christmas**_ **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 _ **Dharma and Greg**_ **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 _ **Don't Starve**_ **© 2013 Klei Entertainment (very passing reference…)**

 ** _Harry Potter_** **series © 1997 J.K. Rowling ("Watch the venomous tentacula—it's teething")**

 _ **Fried Green Tomatoes**_ **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet**

 _ **Skulduggery Pleasant**_ **© 2007 Derek Landy (Skulduggery and the Head Mages)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Abby's greenhouse was strangely organic—wherever possible, natural materials were used. The walls were woven grapevines trimmed from the vineyards, and every year was devoted to either patching existing walls or expanding the greenhouse.

It was to the point that if Yami wasn't paying attention, he'd be lost in a maze of plant-filled grapevines.

Larry was already lost.

"I showed you my oregano already, right?" Larry asked, looking around.

"Yes, Larry," Yami said, glancing around. He had his own agenda, and asking Larry to escort him had been perfect, considering his short-term memory.

Yami felt a little bad for taking advantage of him like that, but he forced himself to shrug it off. Larry was open to sticking it to the Administration—and he'd never tell Abby because he'd never remember.

There—the spiky sort of leaves the book had detailed. Deadly nightshade, hemlock, witch hazel, and a peculiar plant called starry knife. They were used for very limited purposes—magic potions was one. Granted, poisoning was another, so technically they weren't allowed to grow them—but Hippies did not feel that they were subject to the Administration's whims.

Yami carefully pocketed a few leaves of each, turned the wandering Kudzju back on itself, and slapped the venomous tentacula when it tried to bite him.

"Larry?" Yami called, ducking back out of the little alcove.

Larry was gone.

"Larry?" Yami called again. Great—Larry was lost in the greenhouse again.

Come to think of it…so was he.

*\\*/*

Teana looked up sharply as a pebble struck her window. She went over, opened it, and looked down, seeing just who she expected to see: Idgy Pleasant.

"I'll grant you, it _is_ about six-thirty," Teana called.

Idgy waved up at her, wearing the same outfit she had on the picnic.

"Are you wearing something sensible?" Idgy called up.

"Define sensible."

"We're going to be doing some running—do you have dress pants?"

"I have culottes."

"Put those on and come down."

Teana pulled her head back in and shut the window. "I'm going to regret this," she sang under her breath as she walked over to her closet.

About thirty minutes later, Teana was still of the same opinion.

She was sneaking onto a cargo car on the train chugging southwards, wondering how on earth Idgy had talked her into this.

"So this is what you guys do?" Teana gasped, once she was safely on the train. "Hop train cars?"

Idgy laughed. "I heard Yami Skellington did just that—he's been all over."

"I have to be at work at nine tomorrow."

"Don't worry, we're not going too far—just a few miles down the tracks."

Teana sat cross-legged, watching the dim forest stream by. "What's down the tracks?"

"Railside," Idgy said, searching around the boxes in the car.

Teana looked around sharply. "Railside? Isn't that where the third-class people live?"

"No, the third-class people live by the Administration Building," Idgy called, voice muffled as she searched. "The poor people live in Railside." She gave a triumphant exclamation as she stood back up; in her hands was a crowbar.

"What are you doing?" Teana asked.

"What does it look like?" Idgy asked, levering a crate open.

"It looks like you're stealing."

"Re-appropriating."

"It looks like stealing," Teana observed, as Idgy fished in the crate.

"It's not stealing if you're not keeping it."

And with that, Idgy threw some cans off the train.

"What are you _doing?"_ Teana squawked, catching herself before she did something stupid like jump after the goods.

But in doing so, she saw precisely what Idgy was doing.

People from Railside were running alongside the train, catching the cans as Idgy flung them off the train.

"What?" Teana gasped. "What is this?"

"Stealing from the rich and giving to the poor," Idgy explained.

"I thought the Administration fed the people at Railside."

"Not hardly. 'They can't waste money on Railside—it's not in their jurisdiction.'"

"But I thought Railside was under the Administration!"

"Only when they need something from them."

"But that's not fair!"

"No kidding!" Idgy said, as she threw a few more cans off of the train. "I've seen plenty of those high-and-mighties parading around up there down at the River's Run with the rest of us dogs. They're nothing but hypocrites." She turned to a new crate and looked at Teana. "I don't care who you are or what you believe—just be honest about it."

Teana gave her a long look. "What about Yami?"

Idgy gave her a grin. "Now _he's_ honest about it."

The train finally chugged fully out of Railside. Idgy and Teana—into it now—pitched a few more cans out, then sat down. "So how long until the train stops again?" Teana asked.

"Not for another two miles," Idgy said, after some thought. "It slows up some in a few minutes though, so we'll be able to make it back home without any trouble."

Teana made a pensive noise and pulled her knees to her chest. After the initial excitement, Teana was beginning to notice the chill in the air. Fall would be establishing itself soon. "Question, Idgy."

"What?"

"I thought—as a Magician's wife—you wouldn't be as scathing about the Administrators."

Idgy scoffed. "Like I need anyone telling _me_ what to do or how to be."

"But you'll attend church," Teana said.

"That's a promise to a friend," Idgy told her.

"Who?"

"A friend I had at Whistle Stop—that's pretty far south of here."

"So how did you end up here?"

"Yami blew in," Idgy said. "My friend—well…she was the second person I had lost, and Whistle Stop was just…I needed to get away."

Teana stared, surprised at the revelation. "How long had you known Yami?"

"When I hopped the train car with him? A day."

 _"A day?"_

"Kineil was with him," Idgy remembered. "And I needed an excuse. I came up here to see the sights, and just stayed."

"You didn't know Yami or Kineil from Adam."

"Yeah," Idgy said, reflecting. "That was probably stupid of me. Hup! We're slowing down! Better get now while the getting's good!"

She jumped off the train with a wild cry of " _Tuwanda!"_ Teana followed with less enthusiasm.

" _Oof!"_ Teana gasped as she hit the ground and rolled. "I don't believe you," she said, looking at Idgy, already up and dusting herself off.

"Skul can't either," Idgy said, helping her up. "Come on, we've got a walk ahead of us."

They started their journey down the tracks.

"Question, Idgy."

"Yeah?"

"Are you a Magician?"

"No. Yami thinks so, though."

"But you charm bees."

"That, my dear, is _talent."_

*/*\\*

Yami wandered through the maze, trying to feel the air—for either Larry or the exit. He didn't need to spend the rest of his life in here. Ah, there was a gap—

He rounded the corner to find tomato plants—great, he had felt a hole in the wall.

He wondered if he could fix it.

He wandered through, checking the walls—oh wow, that tomato plant was ready for picking—

 _"Oh yipes!"_ Yami shrieked, falling backwards. He had seen a hand—a long, skinny-fingered, pale hand that zipped back out of the hole at his yelp—he could hear something human-sized crashing through the forest—

His insides went cold. The maze suddenly seemed very sinister.

He had to get out of here.


	47. On Alert

**Chapter 47, everybody, and happy Memorial Day! In which we finally meet Greg's twin brother….Watching** ** _Criminal Minds_** **is a mite difficult for me after growing up with Thomas Gibson's work on** ** _Dharma and Greg._**

 **Movies of note this week are** ** _Max_** **and** ** _U-571—_** **former is a relatively feel-good movie about a boy and his marine-trained dog, the second pits Matthew McConaughey and Jon Bon Jovi against a German submarine and destroyer in World War II. Both are quite good and worth a watch. :)**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes indeed! I wish I had a garden like that (at this point, we may have to throw in the towel with ours and start planting rice). No, he shouldn't—and good question….Most definitely—and also a good question; that sneaky bee charmer….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes—call the sound guys and get them to up the reverb on the word "terrible" (first season of** ** _Sabrina the Teenage Witch_** **for the win!). that—was my first college** ** _exactly_** **. Sumbinix in the story is based on the main speaker there—every day except Saturday, twice on Sundays and Wednesdays (probably the only time we college students got any sleep...but then again, I couldn't bring myself to _fall_ asleep, considering I thought it was bad form D: ). The Bible classes were much better, though (and then he never revisited the topic! I ****_still_** **don't know what happened!). Oh yes indeedy—already have a scene all written up in the third book (and it makes me smirk just thinking about it, so there's that). Hopefully he'll pop up again before that (he's definitely fun to write for). No, I think we've seen all the jobs she works at (thank goodness—it was beginning to border on ridiculous). Most likely—I still give** ** _Jurassic World_** **and ORAS sideways glances (** ** _how could they screw that up?_** ** _How!?_** **). Too late, already looked up all pertinent information months ago—plus oversaturation on DeviantArt kind of made it inevitable….**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Yes, do so—and then watch** ** _Criminal Minds_** **to see the opposite spectrum of Thomas Gibson's acting abilities. :D Yes, it's a fun movie. Aha, to be fair, I had never heard of culottes until I went to my first college—and then I was trying to remember what they were called and ended up calling them kumquats. '-' Eeek! But what would he want with a tomato?...We should go deeper….**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Criminal Minds_** **© 2005 Jeff Davis (the other side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say, pal, you got me up for this?")**

 ** _Monsters, Inc._** **© 2001 Pixar ("There she is!")**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (Skulduggery and the Head Mages)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Maxwell distinctly did _not_ appreciate being woken up at this hour. And then being forced to travel all the way to Massenborough—ugh.

Thank goodness for shadow travel—otherwise that'd be a whole day wasted.

He had to wonder what kind of hours Administrators Unger and Sumbinix kept to be in Massenborough already. And how they had _found_ it too—it had taken him a couple of tries to actually _hit_ this dinky town.

"What is it?" Maxwell asked, deciding to get it over with.

"What does this look like?" Unger asked, pointing at the crates on the train. Maxwell looked—they were torn open and mostly empty.

"Looks like rats," Maxwell guessed.

"We don't pay you to be funny," Sumbinix snapped.

"That's good to know. Can I go now? My bed misses me."

"We don't pay you to smart either."

" _That_ explains a lot."

He dropped into his shadow after that parting shot.

He had to get _something_ out of the morning.

*/*\\*

Greg finally looked around after trying to recover from splitting wood. Rufus Klendaniel had more stamina than he did. _Elizabeth_ Klendaniel had more stamina than he did. Desk work was making him soft.

He blinked—looked around again.

There was a discrepancy in the number of spiky heads in the area.

"Ah, we're here," he heard; he turned to see his mother, Kitty Montgau, mince into the clearing. "And look who we brought."

"Hi, Hotch," Greg said, waving.

Hotchner Aaron Montgau looked like Greg, but more serious—understandable, since he was his twin brother. And head of the Civil Branch, which—he delighted in reminding him—was a tougher job than Head Mage.

"Hi Greg," Hotch said, shaking his hand. "I heard about the mess with the Administrators."

"That about sums it up," Greg agreed. "Hi Dharma."

Dharma Montgau, _nee_ Finkelstein, was how the Montgaus knew the Finkelsteins. Knowing their mother, there was no way they _would_ have known the Finkelsteins if Hotch hadn't married Dharma after their first date.

It made it less of a shock when Greg did the same thing a few years later with Jenna.

"Hi Greg!" Dharma said, kissing him briefly before going to greet her parents. "Ooh, your karma's out of whack," she said to him. "Remind me later and we'll get your chi realigned."

Greg tried very hard not to groan at that.

"I don't want my chi realigned," he said to Hotch. "The last time she realigned it, I had to eat bean sprouts and tofu for a week."

"The key is to drown the bean sprouts in dressing and the tofu in soup," Hotch told him before looking around. "So where's Yami?"

"Where's Larry?" Dharma asked before Greg could say anything—one of the peculiarities of the Finkelsteins was the lack of any sort of title, even parental ones.

On the positive side, it took away Greg's worry. "Larry must be showing Yami his oregano," he deduced.

"The oregano we're not allowed to see?" Hotch asked, looking like he was fighting down a grin.

"That's the stuff."

Indeed, Larry was wandering out of the mazelike greenhouse right now. "There's Larry!" Dharma declared, running over to give him a hug.

"Hi, pumpkin!" Larry said, returning the hug. "How's protesting going at the Capitol?"

"Too well," Hotch called over.

Greg waved him off. "Larry, where's Yami?"

Larry looked around, marginally confused. "He's not with you?"

"If he was, would I ask?"

"Maybe…."

"Larry, did you lose him in the greenhouse?"

"I don't have to answer that—I have a—"

"' _Fifth-amendment right preventing me from implicating myself,'"_ everyone within hearing distance chimed.

"We _know,_ Larry," Dharma said, patting her father on the shoulder.

"Back to the issue at hand," Greg said, trying not to feel panic just yet. "Where's Yami, Larry? You didn't lose him, did you?"

"I did not," Larry said staunchly, before looking around. "He's…uh…."

And then Yami came running out of the greenhouse.

"There he is," Larry said happily, pointing.

Greg didn't share the emotion, considering the way Yami wasn't slowing down as he ran for him. "Dad! Dad!" he yelped, skidding to a halt next to him and pointing back at the greenhouse. "In there—by the tomatoes," he gulped, out of breath. "There was someone trying to get through—"

Greg exchanged glances with Hotch, and then the both of them were heading for the greenhouse, Greg with magic sparking in his hands, Hotch with his gun out—such projectile weapons were frowned upon by most Magicians, but there was no denying that a gun was effective, considering bullets could fly faster than a person could think.

"You all stay back there," Greg called over. "We'll be back."

"Eventually," Hotch said as they plunged into the maze.

"That's a given, I would think."

They paused at the first fork in the maze. "I'm sorry," Hotch drawled. "But have you _seen_ the Finkelsteins' greenhouse?"

Greg was forced to admit that was a fair point.

*\\*/*

It took quite a bit of self-punishment and coffee-related bribery, but Teana pulled herself out of bed Monday morning. Ugh. She wasn't built for late-night walks.

She sort of sleep-walked through her morning jobs, but by the time she made it through lunch and to the bookkeepers, she was composed enough to consider some lines of higher thinking. Like letter writing.

The pot-bellied stove got quite a bit of tinder via discarded letters, but she finally settled on one that was simple and to the point:

 _Dear Mr. Skellington:_

 _As I promised, here are my free days this week: Saturday and Sunday. Sunday mornings have prior engagements, I'll have you know, so you have to settle for Sunday afternoons._

 _I hope you can manage,_

 _Sincerely,_

 _Teana Gardenier_

She read it, reread it, decided that it was the best she could do, folded it, and stuffed it into an envelope. After much debate, she wrote out _Yami Skellington, Head Mage, Skellington Residence_ on the front, figuring the post office would know where it was supposed to go, and slid it into the mailbox with the outgoing mail. There, that was done.

Now here was hoping she'd be able to catch up on her sleep at some point during the week.


	48. Letters and Porch Drinks

**Chapter 48, everybody! In which the brothers Montgau discuss things and Teana chats with an owl….Forgive me if my author's note doesn't sound like it's firing on all cylinders this time around—I didn't find out until 2:30 last night that the weird noise I kept hearing was a bat in my room until I sat up and turned on the light to investigate. On the list of things you never want to hear in the middle of the night: leathery wings snapping right next to your ear. D: Fortunately, Dad played badminton (or bat-minton) with it and got it out of my room, so there's that.**

 **Movies this week are** ** _The Princess and the Frog, Jurassic Park,_** **and** ** _Through the Looking Glass—_** **wait until** ** _Through the Looking Glass_** **is out on video, in my opinion. And** ** _The Princess and the Frog_** **could have used a couple of more rewrites, also in my opinion.** ** _Jurassic Park_** **is still a great movie, though—just avoid the books. :P**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, that may be what we'll have to do—we managed to get another row and a half in, but had to replace another half a row because the plants died. Here's hoping though. Yes, at least there's that….The sad thing is, that was the best I could come up with after sitting there and staring at it. :\ She's working on it….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Good question…well, they** ** _were_** **trying to get a tomato, so maybe they were after something to eat. Ah, I remember that commercial (we get them too—ABC Family, right?). Yeah…and then you start staring at your watch and become convinced it died….No, don't worry about it—I'm not planning on abandoning the story (which reminds me, I need to sit down and write out the climaxes for my other active stories on here…). Yes, it's going to be long. Ah, success. :D Yes—thank you, FicReader, for writing them all down; if it wasn't for that, I might have been ridiculous and added one more. :\ Too true….And also too true….Ooh, enjoy! And study! Study harder!**

 **Thanks for the review, Guest, and congrats on review 113! (FicReader, is that you?). Haha, yes, Thomas Gibson plays both Aaron Hotchner and Greg Montgomery (so technically, Greg and Hotch's conversation this chapter is a case of the actor talking to himself XD). Ah—I got into it because Mom watched it, and she always liked it and would tell me about it; so when it came on the TV one year as reruns, we watched it. Definitely a fun sitcom. Heheh….I'm not sure if I've ever seen them in person, but if I understand it correctly, they're like tiny oranges—any way you slice it, it's still a fun word to randomly say. :D**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Criminal Minds_** **© 2005 Jeff Davis (the other side of the Montgau family)**

 _ **Guardians of Ga'Hoole**_ **© 2003 Kathryn Lasky**

 ** _Harry Potter_ series ****© 1997 J.K. Rowling (owls for the postage)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say, pal, you talking about me?")**

 ** _Doctor Who_** **© 1963 Sydney Newman; Donald Wilson; & C.E. Webber (that tenant named Dave)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (Skulduggery and the Head Mages)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Teana wasn't entirely surprised to see an owl on her sill when she arrived back at her apartment.

"Hello," she said, upon opening her window. "Been waiting there long?"

"Not really," the owl said, sounding and looking very much like Cory from the other day. "You want me to wait for a return letter?" he asked as Teana took a letter from him.

"Apparently the usual postal system works just fine," Teana pointed out.

Cory looked marginally offended. "Yeah, but they're not _owls_."

"Are you _sure?"_

Cory thought about that as Teana opened the letter and read it. Wonder of wonders, Yami was inviting her over to his house. How very, remarkably forward. Typical Yami.

She told him as such in her return letter.

*/*\\*

They had eventually managed to find their way out of the maze, after encountering no one in—or later, around—it. General consensus was that whoever it was was long gone by now.

The Klendaniels had left for home, and the Montgaus and the Finkelsteins had retreated to the Finkelstein home, which was built in true Hippie fashion: ramshackle shack to the road, tunnels beneath, and a better-built home deeper in the woods, connected to the shack by the tunnels. It was a holdover behavior from the post-Cataclysmic time period, when the Age of Chaos was establishing itself, and had its charms, Greg supposed—if one liked that sort of thing.

He _did_ like the back porch of the better-built home, and the yard directly behind it, both of which were littered with rocking chairs the Finkelsteins had liberated over the years. The Hippies in the woods had liberated _tons_ of junk that the townsfolk had thrown out, as had those in Railside—there was a landfill the trains visited, somewhere out in the nebulous west, but Greg wasn't certain how much of their junk actually made it there.

He had to admit, though, that Larry's rocking-chair farm—as his father Edward liked to call it—had its charm. Edward and Larry were currently testing out the new ones that Larry and Abby had acquired, while Greg and Hotch were on their preferred two on the porch, nursing mason jars of wine while the kids sat in front of the teleradio and the ladies held forth on everything under the sun in the kitchen. Dinner was being cooked, and would probably consist of very little meat. Greg and Jenna, figuring this in advance, had a roast smothered in vegetables and gravy waiting for them in the oven at home, their neighbor David promising to keep an eye on their house to make sure it didn't burn down or anything like that as it slow-cooked. Who knew—that kid Bakura liked to slide down chimneys and steal things; he might steal the roast and leave it at that. On the positive side, if it survived, that roast would be nice and tender.

Granted, he wasn't entirely certain that they'd be leaving the Finkelsteins tonight—the Hippies might dance to the beat of their own drummer, but their drummer frowned upon stealing things. They were all for share and share alike, and believed that one man's trash was another man's treasure, but outright stealing was… _uncool, man._

"Maybe it was someone from Railside," Greg said finally, rubbing the thread of the mason jar—he had asked what had happened to the case of wine glasses he had given the Finkelsteins last Christmas, to be told that they had tied bountiful-harvest charms to the stems and given them to the Konoviches because their daughter was getting married and it made a nice wedding gift and _they had plenty of perfectly good glasses already so why not share the wealth?_

"Or someone from town thinking they were pulling a fast one," Hotch supplied.

"Yeah, that too."

They paused, took a drink—Mother Nature was nice enough to supply a good wine recipe, although the recipe for potato vodka that she had apparently shared with the Finkelsteins left something to be desired. Fireflies were starting to come out—they'd be gone soon, if the nippy edge to the breeze was anything to go by.

"So," Hotch noised, after a while. "How is Yami taking things?"

"About as well as can be expected," Greg said, now tracing the _Mason_ cursive on the side of the jar. "I think he's trying to find a way around the Administrators' ruling, but I don't think he's found it yet."

"You're sure about that?"

Greg scowled at his brother. "Pretty sure—what, you don't think I know my own son?"

Hotch shrugged and took another sip of wine. "Let me put it this way—you seem distracted. Something eating you?"

In a word, yes—literally, he reflected, slapping at his neck. Joy, mosquitoes. He checked for Abby before casting a minor spell to ward pests away, then entertained himself with wondering if it would work on Bakura. Or Administrator Carter. Speaking of….

"I have something interesting to tell you," he said to Hotch, and then recounted his recent encounters with the currently absent Administrator. By the time he finished, Hotch was rubbing at his mouth and tapping on the rocker's armrest, thinking over his story.

"What do you think he's playing at?" Hotch asked finally.

"I don't know," Greg told him, watching Larry and Edward rocking in a pair of red chairs and commenting on them. "And that scares me, to be honest. Administrator Carter has never been…well, let's just say that he's not the sort to have others' best interest at heart."

"Uh _huh_. So what's the plan, then? There _is_ a plan, isn't there?"

Greg scratched at his mosquito bite. "There's… _sort_ of a plan. It involves you and your 'dream team' up at the Capitol, though."

Hotch was smirking now. "Finally admitting that our branch is more important?"

"Don't start," Greg said, pointing. "I'm saying that _technically_ , investigating this would be _your_ job, since your branch is concerned with Commoner law and order. By the way, there's a potions still case I'm fobbing off on you as well—never got around to sending it, since you were already on your way to your doom."

"Woo," Hotch noised drily.

"I thought you might like that. You might also like how nicely the other folder of interest fits inside it as well."

"You're being remarkably duplicitous."

"Family matters."

"You _do_ realize that if this blows up in your face, you'll be playing poker with Skellington."

"I've already had that conversation."

"So long as you know."

Silence for a few moments.

"So," Greg noised finally. "Are you going to help?"

Hotch considered this.

"Sure," he said finally. "Family matters—and besides, Reid will be thrilled to death at such a challenging cold case."

"Less thrilled at the still, though."

"Rossi might like that one. Here's to you."

They clinked their glasses together, finished the wine as Kitty came out to summon them for dinner.

Here was hoping.

*\\*/*

Teana tried hard not to sigh at the sight of Cory once again sitting on her windowsill.

"Is this going to become habit?" she asked, opening the window for him.

"I hope not," Cory said, holding out the letter for her. She took it, read it—Yami apologizing for being so forward, but he had merely intended for it to be drinks and maybe dinner and listening to the teleradio, and there weren't as many interested parties there to be as nosy. Well, except for Hephaestus, Vulcan, and Kineil, but short of dynamite or a snipe hunt, he wasn't entirely certain how to get rid of them. And besides, Kineil might see through a snipe hunt, and then she might be offended, and Yami wasn't certain he'd survive her being offended. Teana couldn't help but snicker at that.

"What is it?" Cory asked.

"Mr. Skellington is attempting to invite me over to his house," Teana said.

"Ooh, you should go," Cory said. "You need to _see_ it. It's like…." Here Cory spread his wings and rolled his head, like he was trying to encapsulate a great huge description, but words were currently failing him. "It's impressive," he settled on finally.

She tapped her finger against her mouth, thinking. "Well," she noised finally. "I suppose Thursday evenings _are_ free for me now." Storming out on that job _had_ been refreshing, even if it had put a strain on her finances—the lovely Administrators had decided that the town needed an upgrade, and every renter in Delvaire had to sign on or ship out. And because of that, expenses were passed on to the tenants. Dave a floor down had already signed off, wrapping his long multicolored scarf around his neck and storming out of the building as he headed home. Teana, lacking such a luxury to fall back on, was forced to cut corners and eat at her waitressing job. At least she got to keep the day-old pastries.

"All right," Teana said finally, flipping the paper over and writing out her response on it. "If for nothing else but the free food."

"You'll like it," Cory assured her, sticking out his foot so she could attach the letter. She rolled it up and stuffed it through the tiny tube on the ring on his leg.

"How do you handle bigger letters?" she asked as Cory ruffled his feathers and turned for the sky.

"Bigger owls," Cory said simply, before launching away. "Ta! See you soon!"

Undoubtedly, knowing Yami.

Although she did have to wonder why the notion cheered her so.


	49. A Timely Encounter

**Chapter 49, everybody! Which is a touch short, but the way this selection is going required breaking it into a second chapter to keep the pacing consistent and tie everything up together so the next little arc (Yami's house) could be addressed on its own. And to be honest, these two chapters were needed to satisfactorily explain where Anzu has been these past several chapters.**

 **In other news: as it turned out, the bat from last week had a buddy. D: So now I'm torn between being terrified of sleeping in my own room and not being able to handle sleeping on the floor another night. But hopefully, we've plugged the hole the little buggers were sneaking in through so….Wish us luck.**

 **The movie this week is** ** _Now You See Me 2_** **—which is pretty good as far as sequels go, although the ending wasn't nearly as** ** _wham_** **as the first movie. But it's still a pretty good movie, and now I kind of want to learn how to throw cards. Also, Daniel Radcliffe's role in the movie was of satisfactory length, rather than being a passing "oh look who's here" number. :D**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! I want to say upwards of ten—after that, it kind of gets beyond "well it's one for everybody in the family." This is true…but sometimes the simple motivation may be the only one….Maybe it is—and yes, for some reason, ABC Family (or FreeForm, as they're calling themselves now) regularly shows the Harry Potter films. Yes, or the pocket watch, which requires popping it open—I have a nice one with a train on the cover that I've been trying to swing around into my hand like on** ** _The Lone Ranger_** **(thus far I have failed, but oh well). But it ticks a mite too loud for me to be convinced it's dying anytime soon. Yes, I hate those—especially when they've got really awesome premises (like** ** _The Intelligence Theory_** **) and yet they haven't been touched in years. Although in my case, story neglect generally comes from a combination of warm weather/college/other story suddenly grabbing my face and yelling** ** _"Work on me!"_** **Yes they did—which was** ** _very_** **nice of them, as it saved me from an untenable flub. Well, since she quit one and another was a seasonal job, she's got three jobs she's juggling (which I suppose isn't** ** _too_** **ridiculous, considering they don't have similar hours). Ah….Aha, your friends remind me of my college mates from my first college: I had most of my exams squared away because I stayed awake in class, had taken said classes before in high school, and** **did the homework—even without already being familiar with the material, it was enough to allow me to have some confidence in going into exam week (which, on the same token, was probably why I was consistently bored at that college…).**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Ironically, the first thing I thought of after the first(!) bat was squared away was of Mavis going "holy rabies!" Yes, we've got plenty of those around. *whack* Ah, I fill the same role but for wasps—I could never see the point of needlessly angering something that's a mite tougher than usual and can sting multiple times. D: Yes indeed! Now if only Yami doesn't blow it….**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Ah, I thought that was you! :D Yes—I was quite impressed with Time's castle, myself (and those** ** _stupid me-shaped doors_** **XD). Aha, yes! Reid's my favorite character in** ** _Criminal Minds_** **too—and kudos for studying psychology: I had to take a psychology class for every degree, and after three rounds with that subject, I'm ready to throw in the towel (I was ready after the** ** _first_** **round, who am I kidding?). It is interesting…and definitely bigger on the inside, although more similar to** ** _Foster's_** **than the soul room (although now I'm thinking I need to include something similar at some point—they** ** _are_** **magic, after all). Not to spoil it, but if you're familiar with Whipstaff Manor from the** ** _Casper_** **movie, it's kind of like that (I want a house like that, to be honest—or at least the floor in the foyer).**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family, plus that quote Yami Skellington tries)**

 _ **Lackadaisy Cats**_ **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (Kenspeckle Grouse and the Head Mages)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

"Can I ask you something?"

"Me first," Teana insisted, turning to face the much taller Skellington. "Are you stalking me, or did you cast a tracking spell on me when I wasn't looking?"

Yami pondered that statement. "A tracking spell _would_ be easier…."

 _"Yami…."_

"I didn't, honest," he said, holding his hands up. "I just have very, _very_ nosy friends. Moving on—if you could work whatever job you wanted, which one would you work?"

"My turn," Teana said. "The job you have, do you actually do any _work?_ "

"But you didn't answer _my_ question."

"And you're not answering mine."

"I work," he said, sounding miffed. "It may surprise you, but not everybody works all day, and a lot of people do just fine with _one_ job."

"I wish I had their rent. Now if you'll excuse me…."

"If renting's the problem, you could live at my house," Yami said, continuing to follow her to the bookkeepers. "You can see what it's like Thursday."

"Oh dear, you _did_ get my letter. And no, I am _not_ shacking up with you."

"I wouldn't call it that. And if we _are_ calling it that, I'm kicking out Heph, Vul, and Kineil, because that mental image is too horrifying to live with."

"They live with you?"

"They blew up their old place—I think I told you this. And I was entertaining renting to more people until you used that terminology."

Yes, he had mentioned that, she thought. "As charming as the idea is, I'm going to have to pass. My current neighbors don't have the habit of blowing places up."

"Sounds remarkably boring," Yami opined, stepping ahead and opening the door for her. "You're welcome, by the way."

"Thank you," she said. "And remember what I said about not cramming a year into a month."

"Well, you know how the Hippies in the woods say—we know each other on a cosmic level, but on the tangible level, we've got a lot of catching up to do."

"There's another statement that's horrifying to picture."

"I think I may have quoted it wrong."

"Goodbye, Mr. Skellington."

" _Must_ you call me that?"

"It pleases me. Good day."

He looked bemused as he walked off.

And as she punched into work, it occurred to her that she hadn't answered his question.

Oh well.

*/*\\*

Despite the scare Sunday, Yami was back full steam ahead the next day. Having something to _do,_ instead of sitting around and twiddling his thumbs, had given him his fire back.

"Hey! Yami!"

He skidded to a halt, looking around at that exclamation—

"Anzu!" he said, smiling as she jogged to him. "Howzit?"

"Well, _I'm_ doing fine," she said, reaching him. "Although I can't say how _you're_ doing, since I haven't seen you for nearly a week now."

Oops.

He gave her a sheepish look and scratched the back of his neck—to be honest, he hadn't really been spending time with _anybody_ since he found that spellbook. Well, except for Yuki, and that was only because he followed Yami around everywhere. His friends were used to this behavior.

Anzu obviously wasn't, and it occurred to him that he hadn't made much of an effort.

"Sorry," he said finally. "I've…been distracted."

"I guessed as much," she said. "So! Now that I've found you, you can catch me up—what changed?"

Ah, what a question—and how much could he conceivably tell her, he wondered. He glanced around.

"Not here," he said, making a small gesture. "Come on, let's take a hike."

*\\*/*

Teana was now convinced that Yami Skellington had her schedule memorized, considering he was _right there_ when she got off of work.

"May I take you to dinner?" he asked her.

"May I have some time for my heart to restart?" she asked him, patting her chest. "Please tell me you weren't standing there all day waiting for me to come out."

"Of course not! I got your hours from Mordecai," he said, steering her along. "So about dinner…."

"I'd rather not eat at the River's Run again, if it's all the same to you."

"I can live with that—besides, I have a different locale in mind. Little barbecue joint in the woods—you'll love it."

"And what if I don't _want_ to go in the woods with you?"

"Whyever not?"

"Would this be the part where I discover that you're one of _those_ Magicians, and you need a human sacrifice for one of your spells?"

"Ew, _no_. I wouldn't _touch_ one of _those_ spells."

"So they do exist."

"Unfortunately. There are some really sick people out there."

"Don't wonder why Commoners give you sideways glances."

"I always thought it was because of the hair," Yami said, rolling his eyes back like he'd actually be able to see it.

"There _is_ an awful lot of it."

"Yeah, but it's always grown like that. Ought to take you to visit Dr. Finkelstein—he's got this thing going with Dr. Grouse about tracking strains and families of Chaos still around; they think I qualify with the hair."

"And just when I was starting to relax around you."

"Really?"

"Now I don't want to be around you—it might be bad for my health."

"Nonsense—there hasn't been a spontaneous human-Chaos shift since the Great Dearth; the doctors think the genes stabilized or something. I'm not entirely sure, since that's generally the part I fall asleep at."

"Sounds stimulating."

"It is, honestly, but then they start using technical terms. Now come on, before the Hippies clean Xohan out."

"'Xohan'?"

"The guy who runs the barbecue place."

"I agreed to that?"

"You implied it. Subtly."

"It must have been very subtle then."

"Please?" he asked, clasping his hands and trying for a puppy-dog face.

"Will you stop acting ridiculous during the course of the meal?"

"I'll try—I'm not sure what constitutes acting ridiculous."

"I'll let you know."

"Lovely. Then—"

"You're being ridiculous."

"What an evening this will be."

Teana couldn't agree more.


	50. Odd Sightings

**Chapter 50, everybody! A landmark chapter….Xohan is one of my original characters, and in his source story of** ** _Dragon Tamers_** **, is a ghoul. Here, he's (relatively) normal (for now); Sally is another character who was in his story, and yes, there is such a thing as having a florid blue birthmark all over the side of one's face and neck (one of Mom's customers had it). In other news: I had to look up how to spell "coleslaw," as it's one of those words you know about but never have occasion to spell.**

 **The movie this week is** ** _Happy Feet_** **, which we rewatched over dinner today; whenever something goes south and we end up in a better position because of it, Mom always draws the correlation of Mumble going from the Emperor Penguins to the Adelie Penguins: from disapproval to** ** _hey man, you're so cool!_** **:D**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes they are! And then you get the hornets the size of my thumb…those I just shut up in the window and hope they keel over. D: Yay! She is! Perchance—after giving him a dressing-down first. That…may be so….Yes, I do too—and you can't go wrong with good barbecue! :D**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! No problem! Wasn't it great? And yes it is, cobwebs, ghosts, and all. :D They…will** ** _not_** **behave, that I can guarantee. Yes, he does that….Oh goodness,** ** _no!_** **And then it took me most of the week to work up enough nerve to sleep in my room again after that. D: We checked the attic, and aside from four fair-headed children and a few old board games, there was nothing, so we plugged up a hole in my room with steel wool and…nothing yet….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Although I think you might have forgotten to log in….Perhaps…and yes, that's about accurate…and you would think….Oh good, so it's not just us (and yes, those are good movies). Well, my pants have pockets (including the little pocket that's supposed to be for a pocket watch), but now that it's summer most of my shorts don't have that (except for my jean ones that are on their last legs). Surprisingly, I got it at Walmart for ten dollars this past Christmas—but it's a really nice watch, and it works great (you know, one I figured it out). I** ** _know_** **—it's sad, really, and one of the reasons I try to make sure to only post stories I'm sure of finishing (I do too—such a great concept…). This is true. Ah, thank you—yes, although I won't start posting any of those others until the ones I've already got on FanFiction are done. Yes, manageable, but stretching it—which may explain her lack of a social life. Tell them to take deep, calming breaths. And to keep calm and carry on (get them the t-shirts—** ** _that_** **has t-shirts, strangely enough). And that's all I can reply to, as the e-mail cuts out and it hasn't shown up in the reviews yet—woe! D:**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 _ **Criminal Minds**_ **© 2005 Jeff Davis (the other side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 ** _Fried Green Tomatoes_** **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet ("The secret's in the sauce!")**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

They were deep in the woods now, and making a turn onto a road that was vaguely creepy.

"I'm thinking maybe my first impression about you being one of those Magicians was accurate," Teana said.

"I'm not taking you to the middle of nowhere to murder you," Yami said, sounding miffed again. "Xohan likes to work out here because the forest helps keep him cool—he _does_ work over a smoker all day."

"I'm still seriously thinking of running."

"But then you'd miss really good barbecue."

"It might be worth it."

"Trust me," Yami said, smiling that irritating smile of his—that was so open and happy and trusting that she had a decidedly hard time saying _no_ to it. She wondered if that wasn't a bit of magic there and resented it somewhat.

Before she could come up with a better counterargument, however, they had rounded a small curve and arrived at a truck with what looked like a shed on the flatbed, metal chimneys leaking smoke that dissipated through the leaves. A sign leaned against the front tire (which, on closer inspection, was flat) advertising the specials.

"It looks unsanitary," Teana said. It was the first thing that occurred to her.

"The sauce and the cooking kills off any germs," Yami insisted. "And to be honest, _this place_ I have to put a tracking spell on—Xohan has a habit of moving in-between flat tires."

"You never did explain the name."

"Was I supposed to?"

"It needs explaining."

Someone with a shock of spiky white hair stuck his head out, for a moment fooling Teana into thinking it was Bakura Necromancer.

"I'll tell you what," white-hair said. "'Xohan' is _not_ an old Indian name for _he who can't hear squat."_

"Now Xohan, don't behave that way to new customers," Yami chided. "I'll tell Sally on you."

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Teana asked, noting how Yami suddenly looked at her expectantly.

"You didn't question that one."

"That's because _Sally_ is a _normal_ name."

Yami shrugged at Xohan, who rolled his eyes. "I don't suppose you're related to Bakura Necromancer, are you?" Teana asked. There were some physical similarities, such as the pale skin, white hair, and blue eyes, but Xohan seemed more angular.

"Ha ha! _No_ ," Xohan said, stressing that last word and bringing his hand up to pinch two fingers together—

Teana _eek_ ed in alarm at the sight of the long blades he had instead of fingers, and would have bolted if Yami hadn't caught her.

"Now see, this is why I suggested you have Sally handle the window," Yami said calmly. "You scare people."

Teana was trying to articulate the problem and failing, instead pointing with alarm at the jointed blade-hand Xohan possessed.

"What?" Xohan asked finally.

Yami had figured it out first. "Your glove."

"Oh," Xohan noised, taking it off and revealing a perfectly normal hand beneath it. Teana started patting her chest in an endeavor to ascertain if her heart was indeed still working.

"What," she managed finally, before deciding on a better word. " _Why?"_

"I got this from some surgeon-guy last year," Xohan explained. "Snikt, I think is the name. Anywho, it's supposed to be for surgery, but it works nicely in getting meat prepped for barbecue."

Teana stared.

"You really are trying to kill me," she said finally. Yami, to his credit, was massaging his forehead, as though he finally realized that this probably wasn't a good thing.

"Oh dear," a new voice said, prompting Teana to jump. "Is he giving you a hard time?"

She turned to see a plain young lady her age and height coming up the way. "You're going to have to be more specific," Teana declared, indicating both men present.

"I'm going with the one in the truck," the lady said, coming even with them. Teana noted the hat and the basket—and then quickly averted her eyes when she noted the dark blotches along her neck and cheek. "Yes I know," the lady said. "And no, it's not what you think—I was born with that."

"They're birthmarks," Yami explained. "Teana, this is Miss Sally, who is the poor unfortunate tasked with keeping Xohan here in line."

"The sad thing is, I volunteered for it," she said in an aside to Teana, although she was smiling. "Now, I'm guessing you came all this way for food, not pleasantries."

"I'm certainly not getting the latter," Teana said, with a pointed look at Xohan. He started twiddling his thumbs and whistling.

"I'm sure," Sally said, coming around and climbing up into the truck. "And you're lucky you've beaten the traffic."

"What traffic?" Teana asked, indicating the area—she made a small noise of alarm as a few Hippies came down the street.

"Dude," one noised, flashing her the peace sign. "And dudette. We come in peace."

"Yo," Yami noised, returning both the hand signal and the sentiment.

"For you," Sally said, leaning out of the truck and handing Teana a bag. "On the house for putting up with Xohan."

"Uh, thank you," Teana said, accepting the bag.

"Do we get free food?" one of the other Hippies asked.

"Unfortunately, no," Sally said. "You weren't early enough to be bothered by him, so no."

"Don't encourage them," Xohan muttered from somewhere in the truck. Teana heard snicking noises and had the sinking feeling he had that weird glove back on.

"Well then," Yami said. "Thank you for the wonderful meal, Sally. Shall we go?" he asked Teana.

"If you can keep up," she replied. Then, to Sally: "It was nice meeting you."

And it was fortunate that Yami had such long legs, as it enabled him to easily keep up with her just-short-of-running pace.

*/*\\*

They were deep in the woods now, following one of the old brick paths through. Chances were it fed out into a Gypsian camp, but Yami was hopeful that they'd run into a Hippie first.

Anzu, meanwhile, was digesting everything he had said.

"Wow," she said finally. "That's…um…." She looked around before looking directly at him. "This isn't the part where I find out one of those recipes requires a human life, is it?"

Yami grimaced. " _No._ I wouldn't touch one of _those_ spells."

"They _exist?"_

"Unfortunately—there's some sick people out there."

"Like the boogie-mage?"

Yami sighed. "I have no idea—no one knows about this guy, because no one _talks_ about this guy. Just _oh he's horrible_ and _he wiped out a village_ and _he knew a cannibal—_ "

" _What_ was that last one?"

"Oh, yeah," Yami said, gesturing to a side road that looked good and creepy—there wasn't any going down it by accident. "Apparently, Skellington knew a cannibal—ate one of the Civic Agents."

"Ew."

"Yeah. Honda _loves_ to pull that one out when we go camping." Yami gave that some thought. "Come to think of it, I wonder how _he_ ever heard of that…."

"Yes, well, moving on…what if the Administrators find out?"

"That's occurred to me."

"And?"

"And I'm working on it."

"That's not really an answer."

"That's because it's a work in progress."

Anzu scowled, scuffed her shoe.

"Wait," she noised, looking up. "Why was that book in your attic to begin with, if it belonged to Skellington?"

"Good question—and one I don't have a good answer for." It occurred to him that maybe Thomas Montgau had confiscated it—but that made no sense; if the boogie-mage was so horrible as to have been thoroughly erased from history as he was, then they wouldn't have risked one of his spellbooks being found. They would have burned it, as horrible as that was—burning books was supposed to be one of the fastest ways to get the Bookman after you.

" _Should_ you have an answer?" she asked.

"Not necessarily," Yami replied. "Some things in life _are_ mysteries, after all."

"That doesn't necessarily seem like a safe answer."

"Life isn't safe."

"Maybe I'm being too opaque," she said, stopping him at an intersection. "I would much rather you live a long, healthy, boring life than a short, exciting, deadly one. I don't like dating fellas with short life expectancies."

Yami gave her a look. "How many guys like that have you dated?"

"None—guys with short life expectancies are generally teenage boys who haven't figured out they aren't immortal yet."

"I guess I'm too immature for you."

"I'm beginning to think so," Anzu said, hands on her hips—and then she glanced over his shoulder and blinked in surprise.

"What?" Yami asked, looking over his shoulder. Nothing.

"It's funny—I thought I saw a couple that looked just like us. Only the one with funny hair was the taller one."

"So now you think my hair's funny?"

"There _is_ an awful lot of it."

"I like it that way. My parents kept it short for _years_ , and I hated it. That's why I started wearing hats."

"Hmm…."

He scratched the side of his face. "Um, listen…in retrospect, I should have…called…or something…."

"You should have," she said, nodding. "And I can't stop you from doing ridiculously dangerous things, I realize…but I would like you to actually _think_ about what you're doing before you do it."

"I'm being careful," he said, feeling miffed.

"Are you sure?"

"Maybe."

"That's not a good answer."

"That's all I have."

She sighed, shook her head before smiling a little. "At _least_ stop dropping off the face of the earth for a week or more."

"I didn't drop off the face of the earth," Yami countered, leading her down a road that would take them out of the woods. "I just forgot to call."

"In my mind, that qualifies as dropping off the face of the earth."

"I'll work on it. And I'll try to be more careful."

"That's all I ask."

*\\*/*

Teana didn't slow until she was out of the creepier path, and was a mite irritated at the sight of Yami Skellington not being out of breath.

"You could at least _pretend_ to be winded," she said, prompting a look of confusion from Yami. "Never mind."

"I can do that," Yami said, smiling as he came over to poke at the bag of food. "So what did we get?"

"What is this _we_ you speak of?"

"I'm pretty sure the barbecue was _my_ idea."

To be honest, she wasn't all that sold on sharing this, considering how _good_ it smelled, but she finally broke down and opened it, revealing a pair of barbecue sandwiches all wrapped up and a pair of containers that might hold coleslaw. She handed one sandwich over to Yami, and then handed him the bag after he had unwrapped his so she could get into hers.

"Well?" he asked, after a moment of silence.

She considered as she chewed.

"It's not bad," she said after swallowing. "Savory, but really kind of sour."

"Xohan uses vinegar in his sauce."

"That explains it then. And something spicy, I'm going to guess."

"The secret's in the sauce."

"I'm sure."

"Good though, right?"

"I'd eat it again."

"Was it worth the aggravation?"

"No."

"Oh."

She shook her head, glanced away—

Blinked in surprise—

But when she looked again, it was gone.

"What?" Yami asked, looking where she was. "What is it?"

"I…have no idea," she admitted, pointing. "I swear I saw two kids down that way, but when I looked again they were gone."

Yami simply shrugged. "Probably tearing off on some new adventure. I did it all the time when I was a kid." He gave that some thought. "Still do, actually…."

"Normal adults don't do that, I'll have you know."

"'Normal' adults are remarkably boring. Unless you consider yourself normal, then in which case you are most decidedly _not_ boring, so there."

"And _you_ are the epitome of weirdness."

"Thank you—I'll take that as a compliment. You never did answer my question, by the way."

"Which one?"

"If you could do any job you wanted, what would it be? What is your dream job?"

She gave that some thought, took a bite of her sandwich so she didn't have to answer right away, took her time before swallowing.

"I think…I'd want to do entertainment," she said finally. "Singing and dancing? My grandmother said I could sing like a bird to charm the trees, but…."

"But?"

"But there isn't much market for that around here. I'd have to go to Norkyew, maybe, or that one town out on the Western Chaos Coast, and I don't want to do that."

"Why not?"

"The first one is built on a dead city, for one—you can't tell me that's not at least a _little_ creepy. As for the second one—firstly, I hear the western coast still glows in the dark. Secondly, they're called the Chaos Coasts for a _reason_."

"As I recall, you have met and subsequently charmed a Chaos Creature already—remember Brutus Kaiba?"

"He's a little hard to forget, yes."

"And for the record, I've been to both places you want to go, and I can tell you that they are neither creepy nor bioluminescent. Granted, some of the surrounding area is bleak, but that's because people let themselves be driven away by superstition."

"Not everyone is like you."

"I'm not sure whether to be happy or sad at that news."

"Besides, it's not like I can just pull up stakes and leave," she said, taking another bite of her sandwich.

"Why not?"

Of course—only Yami would ask that. She swallowed to answer. "I have jobs, I have rent, I have a real need to not starve, girls _really_ shouldn't travel alone….Shall I go on?"

"Why shouldn't you travel alone?"

"Not every girl is like Kineil, in which any perceived threat subsequently loses their teeth."

"Now that is a pity. But as I recall, you _have_ expressed a distaste for your employment and your rent. As for your other two points, you _do_ have _me._ "

"I don't know you from Adam."

"I keep trying to fix that."

She indicated their surroundings. "It's enough of a concession that I came out here with you. For a woman living by herself, this is a big deal. Visiting your house on Thursday is a big deal. Running off with you into the wild blue yonder? As they say up north: _fugedaboudit."_

Yami actually started laughing at that. "I wouldn't have guessed you'd _know_ that word."

"I'm aware of its existence, yes."

"All right, fair enough," he said, rubbing his face and apparently trying to control his expression. "But if we're still interacting after the agreed year, can I take you on a trip then?"

"I'll think about it."

"You drive a hard bargain, Miss Gardenier."

"It comes with the territory."

"What territory?"

"Of being a woman."

"I don't doubt that." He offered her his arm. "Now why don't I escort you home? It's getting a little dark out."

Teana saw no reason to argue that point. And while he did see her safely home, she was a little disappointed that it didn't take longer to do so.

No matter, she thought, shaking it off. She'd see him again come Thursday.

A prospect which, surprisingly, pleased her immensely.


	51. We Do Voodoo Hoodoo

**Chapter 51, all, which starts the "let's see Skellington's house" arc…I need to get writing on this some more—this one takes a bit more to write out chapters, and I'm getting close to the end of my buffer. D:**

 **Movie this week is** ** _The Brothers Grimm,_** **with Heath Ledger and Matt Damon, which I watched with my family and which I do not recommend. It might not be the gore-fest that the** ** _Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters_** **movie was, but it was plenty disturbing to me. *~***

 **On a better note: we have a bitty baby starling that we're taking care of—the little bae fell out of his nest, didn't even have his eyes open yet, and since we couldn't get him back to the nest we brought him in to take care of, not expecting him to last long. That was last week—his eyes are now open, he's got feathers coming in, and he's starting to get antsy enough that we're going to have to move him to a cage soon so he doesn't fall out of the little basket we have for him. ^v^**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, definitely! :D Yes—it came to me, so it had to be done. Eh, I pronounce it "Zo-han," if that helps. Yes indeed, and they're out of the woods (for now…).**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes, finally! It only took her, what, fifty chapters? That darn login screen….This is true—although I do have some cargo shorts and jean shorts that have pockets, so….Yes, pockets are extremely useful. I was surprised too—and it looks much too fancy to have come from Walmart, too (trains and flowers and filigree and all that). Antique shops or yard sales might be a good place to look too, if you don't mind picking up an older one (and would a two-dollar shop be along the lines of a dollar store?). Yes, this is too terribly true….My issue isn't the end so much as the two-thirds point, where the climax happens and everything goes at once (my one** ** _Don't Starve_** **story** ** _Outtatime_** **is suffering because of this—and yet I have just about everything** ** _after_** **the climax written in an attempt to sneak up on it). Yes, that was my reasoning. This is true—and this is probably also true (I need to get out more, speaking of). Yes! And no. But yes! :D Yes, it's there now—and yay for being logged in! :D**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Yes, me too—although I lost my nerve the other night and ended up back on my parents' bedroom floor (I feel it's going to be a while before I can actually sleep in my room worry-free). Ah, thank you—well, most of the novels, including** ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **and** ** _Flowers in the Attic,_** **you can thank my Mom for; for the longest time, when I went to the bookstore, I beelined for the manga section, and while I looked there, Mom looked at the young adult section right next to it and would pick out books and say "doesn't this look like a good book?" She also recommended** ** _Flowers in the Attic,_** **as she read the series, and she and Dad both instilled a love of reading into me.** ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **was thanks to a college friend recommending it to me, and I've been looking at webcomics ever since. Yes, he's been knocking around in there for a while (I ought to upload what he looks like next October…). Yes! It pays to have cooking friends! :D And maybe. :)**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Guardians of Ga'Hoole_** **© 2003 Kathryn Lasky**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 ** _Lilo and Stitch_** **© 2002 Chris Sanders ("I named him Scrump!")**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

"Mom, can I borrow your sewing kit?"

Jenna's head shot up at this strange request. Was her eldest son seriously inquiring after her sewing kit? "Why?" she asked.

"Yuki and I were thinking of making owlipoppen," Yami replied, coming even with her at the little roll-top desk in the corner.

She examined him for a bit before making her next statement. " _Yuki!"_

Yuki was in the room like a flash. "Yeah Mom?"

"What were you and Yami planning on doing today?"

"We're going to make owlipoppen," Yuki said, holding up some straw.

Okay, that checked out. "And why do you need the sewing kit? Regular string works just fine."

"Some of the Ga'Hoole owls flew through and mentioned—showed us some owlipoppen they made, and they were refined enough to have been made with a sewing kit."

Jenna narrowed her eyes at her sons, then relented. "It's under the end table," she said, waving them off. "Just make sure you put it back when you're done—I have some patches that need fixing."

"You got it, Mom."

*\\*/*

Today was the day. Thursday. Yami Skellington had invited Teana over to his house for the day, and Teana was busy making sure she looked stunning when he picked her up.

This was proving difficult, considering she didn't have too many outfits to begin with. She finally ended up wearing what she normally did: blouse and long skirt, comfy shoes, and her favorite coat.

She walked out of her apartment building just as Yami was walking up. "You look nice," he commented. She made a noncommittal noise. "Nice wasn't the right word?"

"I'm wearing what I normally do," Teana informed him. "No, nice wasn't the right word."

"Ah," Yami said, putting a knuckle in his mouth, something Teana was beginning to realize he did when he realized he flubbed up and needed to fix it. "Um….You look ravishing."

"You're digging a mighty large hole, Mr. Skellington."

Yami's expression was worth the indignation. "Please, I beg you, don't call me Mr. Skellington—you say _that_ —"

"And you look over your shoulder for your father," Teana finished.

"How'd you know?"

"Because nearly every boy I've referred to as _mister_ has said that," Teana said, taking his hand. "I think it's a prerequisite for something."

"Maybe," Yami said, looking down at her hand. "So shall we go, _Miss_ Gardenier?"

"Women don't look over their shoulders for their mothers—they're indelibly etched into their brains. Yes, we shall go, by the way."

*/*\\*

Yuki watched as Yami took one of their odd socks (its mate had been stolen by Spooks, they were certain) and cut it to pieces. That done, he followed the pattern in the attic spellbook and began stitching it back together in a crudely humanesque shape.

Yuki reread the instructions as Yami continued to sew. "So this'll be a voodoo doll," Yuki said, reading. "But not the injure-someone-else kind."

"Yes and no."

That was good—the injure-other-people thing had kind of turned Yuki off of this experiment. But according to the fine print, if the doll were given a lock of someone else's hair, _then_ it could do someone harm.

Yuki pointed this out to Yami.

"I know," Yami told him, still carefully stitching. "But think of how hard it'd be to get ahold of someone's hair. Trust me, that won't be what this thing'll be for."

Barber shops occurred to Yuki. "So what _are_ we using it for? I've only ever heard of voodoo dolls being used like that."

"I thought you read that—they can be used as assistants, too." Yami turned it right-side in and held up the empty sock-body. "When this guy's up and running, we'll never have to worry about cleaning our room again."

 _That_ made Yuki much happier. "No more scrubbing floorboards?"

"Nope. Now, buttons, please."

Yuki fished through the sewing kit and handed him two mismatched buttons. They were almost the same size, and were pretty nearly the same color.

Yami stitched them in, cut open a mouth, and stitched the mouth back shut.

"Okay," he said, flipping it over. "Stuffing, please."

Yuki handed him some straw and some cotton they had snitched from the fields. Yami stuffed it in the small opening remaining.

"Scissors, please."

Yuki handed him the scissors. Yami took them and snipped a bit off of his bangs, then handed them back to Yuki. "Now you."

"Why me?"

"Don't you want to be able to control this guy too?"

Yuki sighed and snipped a bit off of his bangs, following Yami's example and stuffing the snippet into the doll.

"Okay," Yami said, stitching it up and holding the completed doll up. "According to the instructions, not only does that ensure it listens to us, it also makes sure that no one else could use it against us. Now…."

Yuki listened as Yami read the incantation, watched as he took a pin, and winced as he stabbed the little doll in the chest.

"That should do it," he said when he finished, pulling the pin back out.

They watched with baited breath for a full minute.

Then the doll moved.

It was uncoordinated at first, one limb flopping uselessly at first, followed by another. But then it sat up, looking up at them with beady button eyes.

"Well, I'd say that's a success," Yami said, watching the doll stand up. It held its arms up, prompting Yami to hand it the pin. It twirled it around, transforming the pin into a tiny broom, then proceeded to sweep up the small strands left over from its creation.

"So what do we call him?" Yuki asked.

"I don't know," Yami said, rereading the instructions within the spellbook. "But this says we'd better name him quickly, otherwise he won't listen to anybody."

"His head is too big," Yuki observed. "We could call him Scrump."

" _Scrump_?"

"It's a great name! See? Even _he_ likes it!"

Indeed, the voodoo doll did seem to enjoy the name. It hopped up and down and twirled in its enthusiasm.

"All right, fine," Yami sighed, not sounding sold. "Scrump it is."


	52. Voodoo and Booze

**Chapter 53, everybody, and happy Independence Day! Debated heavily about posting this on the holiday, but then I figured I didn't say anything beforehand, so it wasn't fair to you all. So celebrate a major event in history by reading this** ** _very_** **long chapter—ten pages in Word, due to the fact that I couldn't find a proper place to break it up. So enjoy this chapter about…the older crew getting wasted….Don't drink, kids. ;) In other news: all the booze listed** ** _is_** **real booze, which I know because I got up and actually looked at our liquor cabinet when I wrote this chapter up. And then dusted it. And Teana quotes Lucille Ball at one point….Let's just say that the Fireball's song "Bottle of Wine" describes Marik and Bakura quite well here.**

 ** _Enchanté Mademoiselle_ is apparently French for "delighted to meet you, ma'am"** **—I've heard it on _Beauty and the Beast_ and _The Princess and the Frog_ , and apparently have been misspelling it. Fortunately, I had enough sense to look it up before posting. :)**

 **Movie this week is** ** _Finding Dory,_** **which—while a fun summer flick—doesn't strike me as one of Pixar's strongest entries. Baby Dory is cute, though.**

 **On a sad note, the little baby Starling I told you all about last chapter died last Tuesday…it's amazing how someone who's in your life for a week makes such an impact on you. In lieu of flowers, please go birdwatching and appreciate the beauty and personality of our fine feathered friends.**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, we were surprised he lasted so long….Yes, finally, progress on her part. Good question—I'm going to guess making it so they don't have to clean their own room anymore. ;) I don't know—we had to do 'white glove' cleaning at my first college, and I would have** ** _loved_** **to have a little sock-doll cleaning the baseboards. D:**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Yes indeedy—and Dad tends to read whatever fantasy novels I finish and hand off to him, so he's read** ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **and most of Rick Riordan's books (although his reading of** ** _Harry Potter_** **came from us taking him to the fourth movie). Ooh, I shall look that one up! Love a more realistic take on the Pokémon world (should probably work more on my Pokémon fics so they can come up here someday). Add another one to look up—I need to get busy….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes indeed…and yes indeed—that's probably a good sign, come to think of it….This is true. Had to remind myself it's winter where you are….I think my problem with climaxes stems from my brain going 'climax=end of story' and then dragging its metaphorical feet (now to kick it in its metaphorical rear). Tell him to quit that. Have fun with that!**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Teana quotes a line Greg says in the episode "Weekend at Larry's," while Kineil has a moment similar to when Greg drank moonshine)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _The Rum Diary_** **(film) © 2011 Bruce Robinson (the reference to extremely strong liquor)**

 ** _Pirates of the Caribbean_** **© 2003 Gore Verbinski ("But why is the rum gone?")**

 ** _The Golden Girls_** **© 1985 Susan Harris (Teana quotes Blanche at one point—"I may never sleep again…")**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

If Skellington was seeking to impress her by showing her his house, Teana reflected, he was doing a very good job.

She had been initially overwhelmed by the size of the place, then by the fact that Yami had gotten giants to help him construct it. He promised to introduce her to some, and promised her that giants did not in fact grind people's bones to make their bread.

Granted, considering the size of just the foyer itself, big enough to fit her apartment in, she could believe giants had made this.

It had also taken her a moment to recover from the fact that Hephaestus, Vulcan, and Kineil lived in the house as well. Honestly, she had thought Yami was joking about that. She had been _hoping_ he had been joking about that.

"They don't bother me," Yami told her, when she had asked. "This place is so big that I barely notice any noise. Besides, it's more convenient than next-door neighbors."

They were currently sitting in the solarium, a glass half-dome on the side of the house with huge panes looking out over the forest, all sprawled about the numerous couches populating the room. Someone had made snacks, and they were discussing how people just came and went in Yami's house.

"Don't you have a lock?" Teana asked.

"Hmm?" Yami asked, his mouth full of cheese and crackers.

"That thing on your door. The one with the hole that people can spy through."

Kineil started laughing from her perch on the back of the couch, prompting Hephaestus and Vulcan to look up from the radio they were repairing. Gears and such were scattered about a coffee table, and Vulcan was holding a screwdriver in his mouth, for some reason.

"Considering I know people who can _pick_ locks, it'd be kind of pointless to lock the door," Yami observed. "Besides, I _like_ the company."

"Good," Kineil observed. "Because more's coming."

"What makes you so sure?" Teana asked, looking up at her from her seat on the couch proper.

"I heard the door open."

Teana stared.

"Kineil has Injun blood in her," Yami explained. "Her senses are sharper than ours."

"And don't you forget it."

Sure enough, someone came into the room. "There you are!" the new person said in a rich baritone. "I was beginning to wonder if anyone was even home."

Teana stared at the colorful newcomer. Magenta and gold seemed to be his predominant colors, with so many bits and bobs on his clothes that she was surprised he could move. He had darkly tanned skin and spiky sandy hair, a top hat, and a gold mask that looked like a bird face covering half his face.

"Marik!" Kineil exclaimed, waving. "I see you brought refreshments."

"Of course I did," the man named Marik said, shifting the multiple bottles he carried around so he could read the labels. "Pardon me, but my French is terrible. I believe these are wine, whiskey, and tequila, however. And this one I don't know, but the man I got it from swears it's booze."

Kineil took the last one and unscrewed the lid, sniffing the contents. "It's enough to make my hair curl, so I'd say it's moonshine. And tequila isn't French."

"By the end of the bottle you won't care," Marik observed, putting the bottles on the table next to the snacks. He happened to glance over and spot Teana, who had been quietly observing the newcomer. "Ah! If I had known a lady'd be present, I'd have polished up." He doffed his hat and bowed to Teana. " _Enchanté_ _, Mademoiselle,_ Marik Sol Ishtar, at your service."

"I thought you said your French was terrible," Teana observed drily. When Marik grimaced, she continued. "And you missed the Masquerade Ball by a couple of weeks."

"What, this?" Marik asked, indicating his mask. "This is supposed to be here." He did the doffing thing again. "I am a Voodoo King—the mask is a sign of my status."

"Voodoo King?" Teana repeated blankly.

"They're never as well-known," Marik sighed dramatically.

"He does voodoo," Yami said, pointing. "Miss Teana, this is Marik Sol Ishtar, the bane of my liquor cabinet."

"I do indeed, and I am not," Marik replied, plucking a hair from Yami's head. He pulled a little doll from an inside pocket, wrapped the hair around its neck, and handed it to Teana. "Here: in case he gives you any grief."

Teana looked at the little hand-woven doll. "What is this, a voodoo doll?"

"Yes, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't use it," Yami said, grimacing.

"Why?" Teana asked, playing with one of the arms. "It's not like these things work."

"Let me see," Kineil said, taking the doll from her. She made it slap itself in the face.

Yami followed suit.

"Ow," he noised.

"I'm unconvinced," Teana said.

"I am too," Marik agreed. "Hit him again."

Yami snatched the doll away before she could do so.

"Do you guys script this stuff, or what?" Teana asked.

"You doubt the sincerity of my voodoo dolls?" Marik asked, sounding affronted.

"Just a bit."

"Here," Marik said, snatching the doll away from Yami and plunking it down on the table. "Serve Miss Teana one of those cookies, why don't you—make yourself useful."

Teana watched the doll, unimpressed.

And then it started to move.

"Wow, I haven't heard a scream like that since that one murder show on the teleradio!" Kineil exclaimed.

"I can't believe that you people consider that _normal!"_ Teana yelped, pointing.

The doll, unimpressed, simply got a cookie and crossed over to Teana's side of the table, holding the cookie up.

"No thank you," Teana said.

"Don't be rude," Marik chided.

"But what if I don't want a cookie?"

"Who doesn't want cookies?" Marik asked, taking the cookie from the voodoo doll. "Everyone loves cookies! And cake," he added, popping it in his mouth.

"Not everyone appreciates being serviced by voodoo dolls."

"Why not?"

"I don't know—personal reasons, health reasons…creepy reasons," she said, a little unnerved by how the voodoo doll was looking at her—at least, she thought it was. It was hard to tell with those button eyes.

"Ignore her," Marik advised the voodoo doll. It did so and hopped off the table, heading for the windows of the solarium.

"Where is it going?" Teana asked.

"To scrub the windows," Marik told her, helping himself to some booze. "They can be very industrious when they want to be."

"I like the idea of something else doing my windows—I hate that job."

"Too late, you turned him down."

"Is he for real?" Teana decided to ask Kineil.

"About as real as Yami," Kineil said.

"That's depressing."

"It wasn't meant to encourage."

"Here," Marik said, handing Teana a glass of mystery liquor. "It'll make you feel better."

"Wow," Kineil said. "You really _are_ trying to cut back."

"I try."

"I smell booze!" someone in the hall declared.

"Bakura's here," Kineil declared, looking at Yami.

"I noticed," Yami said.

A spiky white head poked in—Teana recognized Bakura Necromancer from the Masquerade Ball. "Marik, you old dog!" he exclaimed. "Is that for me?"

"No," Marik said, hiding the bottle under his coat and holding something else out to him. " _This_ is for you."

Bakura looked down his nose at it. "Isn't that Yami's sissy liqueur?"

"I wouldn't call it sissy," Yami interposed finally. "You might hurt its feelings."

"That's true," Marik said, putting it down. "It could spoil."

"Ta. I think I'll avail myself of this instead," Bakura said, reaching for the bottle Kineil had identified as moonshine.

"Should he?" Teana asked Yami.

"No," Kineil said. "Bakura, remember what happened last time."

"I don't," Bakura replied. "That's the mark of good moonshine. What _did_ happen last time?" he asked Marik in an undertone.

"You both woke up in the Administration Square fountain with naught but your skivvies on," Yami said.

"I have the daguerreotypes to prove it," Kineil said, grinning.

Teana handed her glass to Kineil. "Would you rather have this?"

"I don't know," Kineil admitted. "I'm not sure which it is." She stuck a finger in the glass and then in her mouth. "Tequila. I think I will, thanks."

"That wasn't for you," Marik said to Kineil as Teana slid off the couch.

"It's mine now."

"I would like to go home before the room gets too inebriated," Teana told Yami.

"It was too late the minute Marik came in with those fumes," Yami told her, pouring two glasses of his so-called sissy-liqueur. "Here, try this instead—Mizti May brews it especially for me, as per my request of keeping my liver."

"Livers are overrated," Bakura tossed, knocking back a glass of clear liquid—the moonshine, if the way his spikes of hair stood up was any indication.

"Did you know," Kineil said, pitching her voice a bit louder than usual as she held out her glass for another hit. Marik obliged. "That the liver is supposed to filter out all the junk and gunk that goes into our systems? And then the doctors want us to _eat_ that stuff! How is that healthy?"

"I tell you, those doctors are trying to kill us," Marik said, flopping down on the couch and drinking straight out of the bottle.

"I don't want any of that," Teana said, pointing at the bottle Marik was holding.

"Don't worry about it—alcohol burns off germs."

"Tis true," Kineil said, squinting at her empty glass. "They use booze as an anti…something…they use booze to…disinfect! That's it—disinfect wounds on occasion."

"Can we have some of that?" Hephaestus called over.

"I don't know," Yami returned. "The last time you guys drank, you lost half of your tools!"

"In the Administration Square fountain?" Teana asked, finally sampling her drink. It was sweet-tasting and smooth, but burned the back of her throat.

"I think in the river," Yami said, looking at her. "What do you think?"

"It reminds me of cough medicine."

"My childhood wishes it had cough medicine that tasted like this."

"I'm sure. Your friends are getting loud, by the way."

"An unfortunate side effect."

"You suffer from no cough," Bakura interposed, appearing so suddenly on her other side that she jumped, startled. "Therefore, you need no cough syrup. Might I interest you in a different brand? Kahlua? Schnapps? Brandy? Amaretto?"

"Bakura, we've talked about raiding my liquor cabinet," Yami moaned.

"Did we say we liked it?" Bakura said, swapping out Teana's glass with another so quickly that she barely registered the switch.

"How much do you _have?"_ Teana asked.

"Only a few glasses thus far."

"Not you."

"I have bottles accumulating from Christmas gifts and other special holidays," Yami said. "Normally I try to fob it all off on the Revue, but I do keep a handful around on occasion for flavoring food. When it survives a visit from these two, that is."

"We're connoisseurs," Bakura argued. "And Yami doesn't charge us per glass."

"Maybe I should start."

Teana carefully sampled the new booze. "Not bad," she said. "Less cough-syrupy. Still burns, though."

"That's how you know it's working," Bakura said, topping off her glass before returning to his own.

"I question your ability to select friends," Teana said to Yami.

"What's wrong with them?" Yami asked as Hephaestus and Vulcan finally came over and sampled the drinks.

"I can hear their livers crying from here."

"Those pesky dirty organs," Marik opined.

"And I think Kineil has pickled herself."

"What makes you say that?"

In response, Teana tapped Kineil, who had been very quiet and still for well over a minute.

She fell off her perch on the back of the couch and landed in a heap on the floor.

"It's why she doesn't end up in compromising positions in public places. Don't go getting any ideas," Yami added quickly, pointing at the boys present.

"Too late," Marik replied. "Granted, I'd love to actually _act_ on the idea, but that would require getting off this couch and leaving the booze unattended."

" _I'd_ watch it for you," Bakura offered.

"I repeat: I'd hate to get off this couch and leave the booze unattended."

"I think this is stronger than I thought," Teana said, looking at her drink. "I know I've taken a few sips of this, but every time I look down its full."

"That would be Bakura topping it off whenever you're not looking," Yami told her.

"Right. I'm leaving now."

"Are you sure?" Yami asked, following her as she put down her drink and maneuvered around the couch, carefully stepping over Kineil's softly snoring form. "You're not walking too steadily."

"I think the room's moving."

"Are you sure it's not you?"

"Pretty sure."

"I think you might be a little drunk," Yami said, following her to the massive foyer.

"Who me? Noooo—I haven't had a dingle strop!"

"No, I think you've had more than that," Yami said, smiling.

"You look drunk too," Teana observed, trying to get into her coat.

"I feel drunk—I don't know why…I don't drink that much….Maybe Bakura swapped my glass when I wasn't looking….What was in that stuff?" he called back into the living room.

"Ingredients include disrespectability, inebriation, and liquid lightning!" Bakura called, laughing as he toasted with Marik and threw back another shot.

"I have to go," Teana said, opening the door.

"I'll go with you," Yami said, following.

"You're being remarkably forward."

"There's no room for going sideways here."

"Don't follow me."

"Will you settle for beside you?"

"Good night, Mr. Skellington."

"What? The night is young!"

"It's ten o' clock!"

"You have no idea my hours."

"Fine," she said, opening the door. "But you have to catch me first."

They ran outside, Teana laughing and feeling remarkably lightheaded as Yami caught up with her and hugged her from behind.

"What did I just _drink_?" she asked.

"Oh, you think _that's_ fun?" Yami asked, resting his cheek on her head. She could feel him grinning. "Malik—Malroy—Malvern…whatsisface…he brought back some booze once that was more like explosives than alcohol."

"That sounds dangerous."

"We had to drink it outside because we would have blown up the house otherwise."

"That sounds dangerous."

"Very," he said, turning his head so his nose was against her hair.

"Mr. Skellington," Teana said quickly, pulling his arms up and ducking under them so she was facing him. "I don't believe I've had enough to drink to justify that sort of behavior."

He looked fit to burst from laughing. "Really? You don't look all that steady on your feet."

She scoffed and walked away, picking up her pace when she heard him behind her. She rounded the corner of the house, tripped, and rolled down the hill, yelping with alarm and then laughing at how she must look. She straightened her skirt as Yami imitated her for the heck of it, wrapped up like a Christmas present by the time he reached her. It took a few minutes to recover, she was laughing so hard. _Oh,_ her _ribs…._

She flopped down on the grass when her laughter devolved into breathless _hee_ s, enjoying the late night. There was starting to be some nip in the night air, but it was refreshing—this September had been unseasonably warm.

Yami seemed to be recovering slightly too. "So what do you think?" he asked, sounding like he'd still rather be laughing.

"It's such a _house,_ " she said, waving vaguely in the building's direction. "Wait—is it over there? I'm not sure right now."

"It is," Yami said, sitting up. "We're lucky to have stopped here—another eight feet and we'd be rolling down a _much_ steeper incline."

"That's good then. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to go home now—which direction is that?"

Yami looked like he wasn't sure whether to laugh or not at her. "I can't let you go home like _this_ —you'll fall down a hill!"

"I thought we discussed that I…I know not to roll down a hill."

Yami shook his head, grinning. "No, no—what kind of Head Mage would I be if I let you take a header like that?"

"You're a _lousy_ Head Mage," she said, propping herself up on her elbows and smiling. "I don't even think you're a Magician."

He tried sitting up, but he was still tangled in his cape and therefore failed. She couldn't help but laugh again as she soaked in the scenery—moonlight didn't quite illuminate the slope they were on, but his house on the hill still had several lights on, making large yellow squares on the lawn.

"It _is_ pretty," she sighed, looking to the Giant Mountains and how they looked like big black jagged teeth, coming up on the stars.

"You could stay, you know."

She looked at him, startled by how soft and serious he sounded just then. "What?"

"I mean," Yami said, suddenly focusing on untangling himself. "I mean—what's stopping you, honestly?"

"Mr. Skellington, do I _look_ like that kind of girl?"

"I don't—what kind of girl?"

"The kind that canoodles in unmarriage—er, does deeds out of lockwed—what are we even talking about?"

"I don't know anymore."

She put her head on her knees. "I need to sleep for a year," she moaned. "I have to get home."

"Not in that state," Yami said, before exclaiming in triumph—she looked up to see that he had finally untangled himself.

"I have to," she moaned, burying her face in her knees again. "I have to go to bed…I'm tired…I'm too tired to sleep….I feel cold…."

"Come on," he said, easing her upright. "Let's get you inside and on a horizontal surface—preferably a warm one."

"I'm not going to bed with you," she murmured, trying to shove him away. He kept hold of her.

"That's not what I mean," Yami said, hugging her slightly. "I wouldn't do anything you wouldn't want me to do, and I get the feeling that's top of the list."

"Y'd take advantage…." Wow, sleepiness _did_ make you slur words.

Yami laughed. "I get the feeling I'd take my life into my own hands if I did. No, Miss Gardenier, I am the perfect picture of perspectibility…no wait…I'm…that other word. Boy, _I_ need to go to bed."

"'M not going with you," she said as he managed to open the side door.

"There'd be room, but there's stairs. I think I'll be sleeping on the ground floor tonight too," he added, navigating around the solarium, where noise and light were still spilling out. "Right this way."

He led her into a dark room and slowly progressed—she had the feeling he was groping for furniture.

"Wanna go home now," she muttered, rubbing her face. No dice—still groggy.

"Not in the state you're in," Yami said before making a positive noise—he must have found what he was looking for. He eased her down into some form of chair—a recliner, she realized as he opened it.

"I have pillows here somewhere," he muttered, although she wasn't sure—she was fading fast.

"Don't try anything," she murmured, rolling to her side and pillowing her head with her arm.

"Like what?" he asked, sounding like he honestly didn't know what she was talking about. He eased a pillow under her head, and then produced a blanket a few moments later.

"Comfy?" he asked.

"Mmm," she noised.

A long pause—so long that she was certain he had left.

"Miss Gardenier?" he asked suddenly.

"Nnh?"

"I just realized—when I was getting ready to say good night—I've never actually told you how I _really_ feel."

"Mmm," she noised, almost gone.

"Miss Gardenier?"

She didn't answer—maybe if she didn't, he'd let her go the rest of the way and get some much needed rest.

She felt a breath stir her bangs right before she felt the light kiss on her forehead.

"I love you."

She opened her bleary eyes and lifted her head slightly, but he was already gone. Or maybe he had already left, and she had been dreaming.

But….

She rested her head on her pillow again and let sleep overtake her.


	53. Don't Mix

**Chapter 53, everybody! In which the characters deal with their hangovers and Yami goes "dude, where's my cape?..."**

 **And for the record: chili, cheese, and raw onions is the patented hangover cure for my parents, but also makes a good dish to have sober—granted, it's been a while since my parents have had enough to** ** _get_** **drunk, so confirmation on whether that is** ** _the_** **hangover cure is a little spotty. ^^; And the notion that really good food looks like dog food comes from my Dad, who told me that once.**

 **Movies this week are** ** _The Legend of Tarzan_** **and** ** _Fly Away Home_** **:**

 ** _Legend of Tarzan…_** **firstly, Samuel L. Jackson is** ** _hilarious_** **in this, simply because he's so out of his element—the whole theater burst out laughing twice at one scene because of his reactions. Secondly…you don't realize it, but you spend the whole movie waiting for the Tarzan yell, and then when it finally occurs, there's a moment of fist-pump and** ** _yes!_** **Like the** ** _Lone Ranger_** **movie when they play the** ** _William Tell Overture_** **. Thirdly…it's quite obvious to me now why Tarzan is one of my Mom's main men. :D**

 ** _Fly Away Home_** **is a 1996 movie about a girl who finds a gaggle of orphaned goslings, raises them, and then her and her father fly with them so they know where to go when they migrate. It's a wonderful movie my family and I can watch again and again without it getting old, and there's always that moment when the song in the movie plays that we get a little misty-eyed.**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes…I'm still not quite over it, but it was good he got the time he did (and I know I'll see him again in Heaven, so there's that….And he gets to be in my stories, so…). Ah yes—right up until it's time to clean. XD Yes, that's a good thing…and kind of based on my parents' experiences (they've told me a hundred times if I ever did the stupid things they did, I'd be tied to the bed—understandable, honestly). Yes, it's nice to see a natural response to something. :D And yes, booze does seem to have that effect—glad the chapter came across all right, despite being long. Yes, it's adorable. :D**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Yes she was….To answer your question…firstly, some factual errors which bugged me a little, like the fish being delivered to the whale shark enclosure when whale sharks, in fact, eat plankton. Secondly, I wasn't fond of having some of Marlin's growth from the last movie being nerfed in this movie, and how he was penalized for reacting like any parent whose kid was nearly killed in an easily avoidable situation would. And it kind of felt like** ** _Cars 2_** **, where it was more of a fun romp focused on a side character. It was a fun movie, and the scene where she finally encounters her parents is really strong; it just wasn't a movie that really stuck with me like their other movies. Moving on—eh, sometimes. :) Of course! Yes, in that regard Yami is based on my own family—first time I tried wine I told Mom it needed tomatoes and garlic and then started listing how we made marinara. XD Yes, that would be a shame—and good Yami! :D**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes, Yami is playing the role of designated driver here. :) Yay, I remembered! And ick—hate that sort of weather. If it's going to be lousy, it could at least have snow. It does somewhat. And that was good—sort of, I suppose. Yes, cram in that goofing off! :D**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 ** _Back to the Future_** **© 1985 Robert Zemeckis ("Hey—what is this?" "Breakfast.")**

 ** _Godzilla_** **© 1998 Roland Emmerich ("I tried telling them, but no one listens to genius")**

 ** _Tarzan_** **© 1999 Disney ("I was saved by a flying wild man in a loincloth!")**

 ** _Zorro_** **© 1919 Johnston McCulley (he's vigorous!)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Teana woke up the next morning feeling disoriented. This wasn't her apartment.

It took her a few moments to realize she was in an opened recliner, a black blanket draped over her. A few more moments, and she remembered that she had gone over to Yami's for the day. And the night. Oog—what was _in_ that booze?

She sat up slowly—well, aside from a minor headache, she didn't feel too bad. She was pretty sure she'd know if she had been…ugh, she couldn't even _think_ it.

She forced the recliner down into its closed position and stood up, clutching the blanket. Oh good, only a little dizzy. She absentmindedly started folding the blanket—

Wait a minute.

She held up the tie fastener, with its peculiar spread and knot that looked like a smirking bat.

"I don't believe this," she muttered, folding it the rest of the way and then looking around. Voices were coming from the next room, so she tried there.

She shortly found herself in the kitchen, where Yami was making coffee and toast—the latter of which was extra toasted. Kineil was at the stove, cooking something else and looking a tad more alert than Yami at the moment.

"What's that?" Teana asked, feeling her nose wrinkle at the smell.

"Breakfast," Kineil replied. "Yami, stop trying to make toast before you burn the house down."

Yami did so, settling for staring at the toaster as it cooled.

"What kind of breakfast?" Teana asked, looking at the mess in the skillet.

"My patented hangover cure," Kineil said. "Chili, cheese, and raw onions, with some scrambled eggs for good measure. Works like a charm, and tastes good, too."

"I think I'll suffer, thanks."

"Don't knock it till you've tried it."

"I'm sure," Teana said, before turning her attention to Yami.

"You shouldn't treat this like it's a common blanket," she chided, holding the bundled cape up. "It's a symbol of your station, not a rag."

Yami looked up at her, taking a few moments to register.

"You don't seriously think I wear that to _bed,_ do you?" he asked. "I figured it was doing more good _there_ than hanging up where it usually does."

"And what if I soiled it?"

"Huh?"

"He's in denial about girls vomiting," Kineil supplied.

Ugh. "Please don't say that," Teana said—what with that smell, it wasn't helping her stomach.

"What would you rather me say?"

"Don't enlighten me. _You,"_ she said, handing the bundle over to Yami. "Put this on."

"Yes, ma'am," Yami said, obliging.

"Good," she said, sitting down before noting that she needed a cup for the coffee she was reaching for. "Where are the cups?"

Yami handed her one. "Thank you," she said.

"No problem," Yami said, fastening his tie—or trying to; Teana was of the impression that he wasn't good at this sort of thing first thing in the morning and after some drinks. "So—any thought to my proposition?"

Teana's heart froze—what did she agree to last night? "What?"

"About you living here."

"What?"

"He wants to know if you want to stay here," Kineil clarified. "You can't have my room, by the way."

"I already told you _no,"_ Teana said.

"I know that," Yami said, frowning down at his tie. He had somehow succeeded in tying a knot around his finger. "I was just—well, I thought maybe if you _saw_ the place—"

"I told him you wouldn't, but no one listens to genius," Kineil said.

"And how are _you_ sober already?" Teana asked her.

"I would say it's because of the fumes from this," Kineil said, putting some of the concoction on a plate, sprinkling it with raw onions, and then putting the plate and a fork in front of Teana. "But it helps that I don't drink as much as the rest of them. Marik and Bakura not sharing definitely helps _there."_

"Hmm," Teana said, trying to look anywhere but at the plate in front of her. She finally settled upon Yami, still struggling with his tie after untying his hand.

"Here, let me," Teana said, unable to watch anymore. She stood up, crossed over, and pulled Yami's shoulders down to her level so she could fix the tie.

"I would have gotten it eventually," Yami said, holding his chin up.

"I couldn't take it anymore—it was like watching a man drown."

She finished it up and gave it one last tug. "There—all done."

Yami stood up, brushing his tie. "It looks good."

"Thank you."

She turned—

And noted Kineil watching, Hephaestus in the door—both with peculiar expressions on their faces.

"Uh," Hephaestus noised.

Teana waved them off, red-faced, and sat down at her previous seat, eating to avoid saying anything. About the third bite, she remembered that this was the food she was trying to _avoid._

She was aware of Kineil watching her as she swallowed. "Not bad," Teana observed. "Once you get past the _ick_ factor."

"Hey," Kineil said, shrugging. "The best food in the world looks like dog food."

"Except for that time we served Vulcan real dog food," Hephaestus observed.

"You did _what?"_ Teana asked flatly.

"That's not even the funny part," Kineil said, giving Hephaestus a plateful of food. "The kicker was that he didn't realize it until he asked for seconds—and then we pulled the can out."

Teana pointed her fork at Yami, seated across from her. "And _this_ is the sort of environment you want _me_ to live in?"

"I'm fairly certain they wouldn't do that to _you_ ," Yami said, then looked at Kineil as she put a plate in front of him. "Would you?"

"It depends on how funny it would be," Kineil responded.

"It wouldn't be funny at all," Teana informed her, rubbing her face. "What time is it?"

Yami patted his pockets, looking for his pocket watch; Kineil simply looked at the clock on the wall. "A little before seven. Why?"

Five words that flung Teana into an instant panic. " _AAA! I'm late for work!"_

"Woah! Hold it!" Yami yelped, catching her as she spun around and jumped out of her chair at the same time—Hephaestus managed to catch the chair and keep hold of his food at the same time. "You can't run into work like this!"

"I can't be late!"

"Can't you take the day off?"

"I've got three jobs going on!"

"You can take off one day on the first one, at least—get yourself together a little, don't you think?"

She forced herself to take a deep breath, realized she had to concede the point. "All right," she sighed finally. "I…I'm going to have to make a call then—and then go freshen up…where's the bathroom?"

"Go to the living room," Kineil said, pointing with a spoon. "Take the first door on your right, then the second door on your left."

"And I'll make the call," Yami said, shooing her towards the living room. "You go do…whatever it is you have to do."

"All right—don't screw this up," she said, pointing at Yami as she left.

"You got it."

*/*\\*

The boys were out romping around, for which Jenna was grateful—not that she didn't love her kids, but they tended to leave destruction in their wake without realizing it.

The house was presentable looking again, and she had just finished folding the laundry, smoothing the last shirt out and depositing it in the basket.

 _And it's not yet noon,_ she mused, looking at the grandfather clock. Well, there was a _Tarzan_ book calling her, she was sure—she could hear the yell. But first—hurry up and throw these clothes on their respective beds, and then she'd be swinging through the jungle with a wild man in a loincloth.

She opened the door to the boys' room, stepped in—

Heard scrabbling.

She froze, looked around, waited….

There it was again.

"Rats," she muttered, throwing the clothes on the bed, shutting the door, and then getting a towel from the linen closet and shoving it under the door. She was going to have to get Greg to hex them out—she was _not_ having rats in her house.

Although…she could do it herself….

She sighed and rubbed her face. Her side of the family's continued existence depended upon the Administration thinking they were just Commoners with an unfortunate last name. She didn't _think_ they had spying spells on them, but their continued existence depended very much on keeping the sham up.

She clicked her fingers twice, just to see the sparks come up. Good, still there.

Now if only she could use it.

She grabbed the book and camped in front of the teleradio, playing with the knob until she found something action-oriented. She needed an escape, and if Tarzan couldn't swing her out of there, then maybe Zorro could.

Because right now, their worlds of fiction were so much improved over her life.

*\\*/*

It took a few false starts—combination hangover with not knowing where Teana worked beyond a diner near the tracks had given both Yami and the operator a field time. But finally, Miss Dale had him hooked up with the diner phone, which was answered with a very brusque " _What?"_

"Hi, does a Teana Gardenier work there?" Yami decided to ask—might as well make sure.

" _She did."_

"Did? Past tense?"

 _"She didn't show up for work today."_

"Ah, see, that's why I'm calling—she's got a bit of a headache and can't make it. She _tried,_ I'm telling you, but the general consensus is that she needed a sick day because she wouldn't be worth much right now."

 _"Well she can take all the sick time she needs."_

"Really? That's nice of you."

 _"In fact, tell her to enjoy it, because she's fired!"_

Yami actually had to hold the phone away from his ear on that one. "Wait a minute," he said, bringing the phone back to his ear and talking quickly to keep the guy from hanging up. "Why is she _fired?_ It's one stinking sick day!"

 _"And what's it to you?"_

"I'm her…." Her what, pray tell? "I'm her friend."

 _"Her drinking friend?"_

"Her friend who is asking you very nicely to let her have one sick day, because it's not the end of the world."

 _"The answer's still no, bub."_

Yami ran hot just then. "You know, I hate to play it this way: who do you think you are?"

 _"What's it to you?"_

"Because I'm about to tell you _just_ who _I_ am: Yami Skellington, Head Mage. And while you're busy spluttering and trying to backtrack—" as he was. "Just so you know, Miss Gardenier won't be having to worry about coming into work, because you're going to be under investigation for the foreseeable future—I bet your customers would _love_ to know just what kind of _rat_ runs the joint!"

And with that, he slammed the phone down, feeling very justified.

It was swiftly followed by horror.

"I just lost Miss Teana her job, didn't I?" Yami asked, turning to face his friends.

"That's what it sounded like," Hephaestus said.

"You're a dead man," Kineil opined.

Yami started flailing his hands. "Quick! What do I do!?"

"Un-fire the guy?" Hephaestus guessed.

"I can't do that! The guy's a jerk—and if Teana finds out—" he glanced over his shoulder, expecting her to materialize as soon as her name was mentioned.

"Don't panic—here," Kineil said, handing him a cup of coffee. "Now think—you're having him investigated, correct?"

"That was the threat, yes," Yami said, taking a drink.

"So act on it—get it moving _fast_ , so as far as she knows, it was coming for him anyway."

"Okay," Yami muttered, tapping his fingers on his mug. "So how am I going to get this moving fast? Technically it falls under Administrator jurisdiction—I can recommend an investigation, but…."

Kineil waved him off. "So we get an Administrator to get the ball rolling—preferably one who likes to cause a stir anyway."

There was a moment while they processed just _who_ fit that bill.

"I have a call to make," Yami said, putting his coffee down and picking up the phone.


	54. Early-Morning Calls and Late-Night Shows

**Chapter 54, everybody! And who are we going to call?...Someone else….**

 **For the record, tracking down the creators of the Shadow is a little spotty, as he was a character that more developed rather than sprang whole-cloth. Also, the 'make the rat your neighbor's problem' is a line lifted from Tom Bergeron's time as host of _America's Funniest Home Videos_ —the clip had the rat trigger the trap while on top of it, which resulted in it being launched into oblivion. :D And the coffee up the nose bit happened to my Mom—it wasn't fun.**

 **In other news, FanFiction's coding is** ** _evil_ , because it italicizes what I don't want italicized and apparently dislikes the "** **©" symbol.**

 **Moving on! *clap***

 **Movie this week is _The Big Friendly Giant_ —nice romp, good afternoon waster, a bit of a disjointed plot, and some very pretty concepts.**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes indeed—although to him, it's just a piece of cloth…yes, I was smiling when I wrote that. Hey, whatever works! And yes he does—this is going to take some work….Good question….Eh, close—he mentions that he's about seventeen in Chapter 11, and for them the age where they can do all their vices is 25, so he's still a bit away from being old enough to go out on his own. For our comparisons, he's treated as though he's in his mid-teens. Hope that helps!**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Yes, I love that movie—and that's true, it doesn't! Yes, she can use magic—she just isn't allowed to, for the reason you just mentioned. Me too—and me too. And most likely. Aha, hope you enjoy some then! :D**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Eh…Mr. Tern isn't that bad, nor is the guy at the bookkeepers—but yes, that's probably a contributing factor. Yes, someone has to be sensible in the face of alcohol—yay, I did! Ick. Yes—maybe I should send the Frost King your way….Bummer—maybe next time. Well that's good—and that's interesting. Have fun with that! ^^/**

 **References:**

 _ **Yu-Gi-Oh!**_ **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 _ **The Nightmare Before Christmas**_ **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 _ **Dharma and Greg**_ **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_ ****© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 _ **Don't Starve**_ **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say, pal, you don't look so good…")**

 _ **Pickles**_ **© 1990 Brian Crane (Maxwell's treatment of the phone partially comes from a strip from this comic)**

 _ **Calvin and Hobbes**_ **© 1985 Bill Watterson (and this is where the other half of his phone treatment comes from…)**

 _ **The Hobbit**_ **© 1937 J.R.R. Tolkien ("The road goes ever on and on…")**

 _ **The Shadow**_ **© Conde-Nast (exact date difficult to ascertain—first radio appearance was in 1930; first print appearance was in 1931)**

 _ **Quantum Leap**_ **© 1989** **Belisarius Productions ("To put right where once went wrong….")**

 ** _The Stepford Wives_ © 1975 Ira Levin (one of those things you hear about, but have never read…)**

 ** _Unsolved Mysteries_ © 1987 Buena Vista Television**

 ** _The Twilight Zone_ © 1959 Rod Sterling**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Maxwell was flipping through the morning paper and enjoying his coffee when the phone rang. He ignored it for about five rings, before deciding it wasn't going away.

"Say pal!" he drawled upon answering. "I'm not in my office right now, but you can leave a message after the click!"

And then he hung up the phone.

It rang again a moment later.

"Great," he muttered, picking it up again. "Say pal, I'm not in—"

 _"Max, if you're not in your office, then who hung up the phone?"_

"Wow, someone caught that," Maxwell said, rather surprised that it was Yami Skellington who did. "What do you want? Me to tell you if Sumbinix is in a talkative mood?"

 _"No. What are you doing in your office, anyway?"_ Yami asked. _"I figured you came in later than I did."_

"I'm paid for hours worked," Maxwell explained. "They count it as hours spent in the Administration Building. This office is bigger than my apartment flat— _ergo,_ I moved _out_ of my apartment and into a room where I'm _paid_ to stay. See the beauty of it?"

Long silence. " _You don't have a bed in there, do you?"_

"I have the couch. Say pal, you don't sound so good."

 _"Marik was in town."_

"I see. I'm not sure if I like you enough to run interference."

 _"Ah, but you do like the sort of thing I'm about to propose."_

"Ooh, this sounds promising—what is it?"

 _"There's this dinky diner by the tracks over by the woods, looks like someone tried to pretty up an old railcar. I need an inspection conducted on it, pronto."_

"Why? You get food poisoning?"

 _"The proprietor did make me ill."_

"And I should do this because?"

 _"Because I asked nicely. And because I know this sort of thing makes you happy, for some odd reason."_

"If you question my logic, I won't do it."

" _Fine, fine. Will you do it?"_

"Let me check my calendar."

He held the phone against his chest, pondering this for a moment. On the one hand, he'd have the Head Mage owing him a favor and get to bug some lousy-sounding jerk to boot. On the other hand…there was something just a _mite_ suspicious about this—Yami didn't like making enemies, especially in the Commoner sector. Something was up.

And the fastest way to find out would be….

He put the phone back to his ear.

"Sure, pal!" he chimed. "You've got yourself a deal!"

 _"Thanks Max—you're a pal."_

Uh-huh—see how long you sing _that_ tune.

But first—time to wreak some havoc.

*/*\\*

The 'make the rats your neighbors' problem' spell had taken maybe five minutes upon Greg arriving home. It was a minorly complex spell, but the Pied Piper spell had long been banned and most other spells killed the rats, which Abby did _not_ like, and Greg knew better than to upset her. Best-case scenarios involved no help during harvesting and gardening and Larry being sent over for an extended stay. Not that he didn't like his father-in-law, but…he was taxing if exposed to for too long.

And he realized that despite making the rats and that folder other peoples' problems, he was still overly distracted, as he noted when he realized he was once again staring at one spot on the page again. At least it was before he got to bed.

He sighed and set the book on the end table before leaning forward and fiddling with the teleradio. The kids had long since gone to bed, and Grandpa Skelton had gone off on one of his walkabouts around Delvaire. He'd leave after dinner and be back a few days later, heading straight for the shower. And Greg knew this was to be a walkabout rather than an after-dinner stroll—after-dinner strolls did not require Grandpa Skelton's walking stick, nor singing "The Road Goes Ever On" from _The Hobbit_.

The beginning strains of _Le Rouet d'Omphale_ started playing and he left it there. The Shadow's creepy laugh was seeping through the speakers when Jenna came back in with two mugs of cider.

"Ah, wonderful," she said, handing him a mug and snuggling up on the couch next to him.

"Mmm," he noised, taking a sip before putting the mug on the end table next to the book.

The only ones talking for the next five minutes were Lamont Cranston and Margo Lane.

"What's eating you?" Jenna asked finally.

"You first," Greg countered.

She took a sip of her cider before sighing. "I wish we could have gone with my idea."

"My mother would have had a conniption," Greg pointed out. "I wish Administrator Carter had left well enough alone."

"I thought you liked the idea of righting past wrongs."

"I do. But I like being able to sleep at night, too."

"And you're losing sleep?"

"I keep thinking about that stupid file."

Jenna sighed. Yes, it was hard to forget about that stupid file.

"A pity he's not around to solve these things for us," she said, indicating the teleradio, where the Shadow's laughter was echoing again.

"That would be _so_ much easier," Greg agreed.

Silence again.

"How do you think the boys are holding up?" Greg asked.

"I think Yami would do better if you spent some time with him," Jenna pointed out.

"Maybe this weekend," Greg said, rubbing his forehead. "As soon as I get my head on straight."

"I'm still waiting for that."

"Ha ha, you're not funny."

They listened as the Shadow grilled a bad guy, and then a commercial for Blue Coal came on.

"You need to buy a ton or two for this weekend," she said.

"It's still early."

"It's September fifteenth!"

Greg blinked, started for the calendar before recalling his current position as Jenna's pillow. "Seriously?" he asked, looking at her. "It can't be that late already."

"Seriously," she said. "It's still pretty warm for this year, but it'll be cold again before you know it."

"I guess that's a good thing—if it gets too warm, the Chaos might come back."

She made a sort of snort before sipping her cider again. Understandable; the classic theory as to the disappearance of a race that had dominated the planet was that the temperatures had dropped to a point that the hot-blooded Chaos couldn't handle. Rumors said that they still persisted around the equator, but again, no one could explain anything related to Chaos—where they came from, where they went, and most of the why and wherefore in-between.

She was stirring her cider with its cinnamon stick now, reminding him that yes, he had a cup of it—and it was now cold, he noted as he took a sip.

"You're still unhappy," he observed, putting the cup back down.

"I wish I didn't have to worry about doing magic," she pointed out.

"I do too—it must stink having to do everything by hand."

"I _hate_ it. And I hate having to pretend to be one of those Stepford housewives."

 _That_ actually made Greg burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

"It's just—I don't think there's any danger of that. Besides, have you _seen_ those housewives up close? I think they're homunculi, honestly."

"I thought they were supposed to be short."

"They look short to _me_."

She snorted again, and they were quiet again until the show ended and the smooth-voiced radio announcer started describing _"The late shift for all those burning the midnight oil—midnight's coming up, and I'll be transferring you to my colleague for a few hours of 'Unsolved Mysteries of the Twilight Zone.' Those who like their spines tingled, stay tuned."_

Jenna leaned forward and turned the teleradio off.

"My spine's been tingled enough for one day," she observed, patting Greg on the knee as she stood. "Come on, you—let's go to bed."

*\\*/*

Teana was grateful for the chance to freshen up—sure, she was wearing the same clothes she had been yesterday, but at least she felt decent again. Or at least, _awake_. She fluffed her hair one last time before leaving the bathroom and heading back for the kitchen.

"Do I dare ask how it went?" she asked upon arrival.

"Um," Yami started—and then the phone rang.

She had the feeling something was up from the way he leaped for it and answered it swiftly. "Hello? Oh? Oh really? Well, that's a _shame_ ," he said, glancing at her before looking consternated. "What do you mean, what do I mean? Well—I—I have to go—I have a prior engagement—we'll talk later, all right?"

He hung up quickly.

"What was that about?" she asked, arms crossed.

"I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience," he said, hands laced together. "But it seems as though your morning job is no longer so."

She blinked, allowing herself a moment to process that. "What did you do?"

"Well, see, there's an inspection being run on the place, and…."

And so long as it was being run, the place wasn't open, and Teana was out another job.

"Is it that bad?" Yami asked, in response to her palming her face.

"I won't be able to keep up my rent without that job," she muttered.

"Ah….Well, there _was_ that suggestion I offered—"

"We've been over this."

"I was kind of hoping you'd change your mind."

"Paging Mister Skellington," Kineil said, pausing from her meal. "You're being too forward again."

It was Yami's turn to bury his face in his hands.

"Now what do I do?" Teana asked. "And _don't_ say move in with you," she added, pointing at Yami.

"Coffee," Kineil declared, holding the pot up. "Get properly sobered up for your noon job—but stay sauced enough that you ask for a raise."

"That's a terrible idea."

"Do you have a better one?"

No, not really.

"I'll take the coffee," Teana said finally, picking up her old mug and holding it out.

"Cream or sugar?"

"Neither, thank you."

"She takes her coffee like she takes her men," Kineil teased, looking at Yami as she made the crack.

It was enough for Teana to experience for the first and hopefully last time the event of coffee going up and out her nose.


	55. Employing Conversation

**Chapter 55, everybody! In which everyone's favorite louse comes a-calling and once again pokes holes in Teana's logic….**

 **"** **I can't see through you even though you're a pain" seems to be a phrase used by the older people in my life—it works, though. And underwater basket weaving is another joke referenced often by those in my family and my college life.** ** _Why_** **anyone would do that is beyond me, but….**

 **Movie this week is the 1994 movie** ** _The Shadow_** **—very clearly remember catching it on a movie channel back in '08, thinking "I wonder if this is that Shadow Dad keeps talking about…." It was, and it sparked a very dear love bordering on obsession for the character. Now if only Sam Raimi would get a script he liked so he could go forward with the new movie….Wait, I know how to write scripts. Excuse me….**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, but it's been a while, so….Maybe, but she'd rather not. Yes, Yami M. is going to be stirring up quite a few things soon….**

 **Pegasiger, thanks for the review! Thanks, I love it too—** ** _love_** **that movie. :D**

 **Guest (whom I think might be FicReader), thanks for the review! All right! :D Yes, still serious, but in some very silly situations—and if you like that: the actor who plays Larry Finkelstein played a fat-cat elitist lawyer in** ** _LA Law_** **. What a difference. Yes indeed! What a show—that I can only watch in small spurts because of the late night wonderings. *~* Yep! Maybe a little of both…and who knows? The Shadow does!—but he doesn't show up in this chapter….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes, I highly recommend answering the phone like that if you have caller ID and know it's a telemarketing call coming in—my preferred method is to answer the phone and say, in the exact tone they use: "The number you have dialed is no longer in service. Please hang up and dial again. Thank you." Although there was this one call we got where I stormed that we didn't need what they were selling, already knew who we were voting for, and** ** _call us again and I'll track you down, chop you up, and feed you to my animals_** **—we haven't gotten a call from that number since. ;) Ick—I'll do that. I wonder what the shipping costs are for large magical creatures?...Ah, what a pity—but at least there's games! And now you can't be expected to pop up at the least little thing, so success! :D**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say, pal, you don't look so good…")**

 _ **Lilo and Stitch**_ **© 2002 Chris Sanders (Scrump again)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

It was Saturday, and Yami had managed to convince Teana to try the barbecue joint again.

"I told you it grows on you," he was saying as they left the woods.

"I'm still reserving judgement," she told him, looking around as she recognized the road as the one her now-defunct morning job was on. "I wonder how that inspection is going?"

"Not well, I hear," Yami said, polishing off his sandwich. "They found a big rat in the office."

"A rat? I never saw any rats in there."

"Well, _rat_ may not be the right word—I might be offending the real rats by making the comparison."

"You must be talking about my boss there."

"I had the pleasure of making his acquaintance, yes."

"And what? Did you turn him into a rat or something? Is that even a thing?"

"Yes it is a thing, and no, I did _not_ turn him into a rat. I wouldn't want a cat or hawk dying from food poisoning."

"Ha! Not funny. Oh _great,_ " she moaned, upon nearing the diner and the activity surrounding it. "This is _not_ shaping up to resolving itself nicely."

"It doesn't look that way, no."

"I need that job."

"With that boss?"

"I'm talented at ignoring people."

"I noticed I have to work harder."

"You're harder to ignore, if it makes you feel better."

"It does," Yami said, looking brighter.

And then a poof of displaced air, and Teana sensed her personal space violated just as she heard—

"Say, _pal,_ you don't look so good!"

Teana jumped, spun around—

"Oh great," she spat. " _You."_

"Me," Maxwell said, hooking his hands in his lapels and rocking back on his heels. "Enjoying the show?"

"Right up until you violated my personal space."

Kineil popped around from behind him.

"Max, we talked about that," she pointed out.

"I have shadow magic," he retorted, looking down at her. "What's _your_ excuse?"

"The fact that I can sneak in tap shoes."

"You do what?" Teana asked flatly.

"I remember that," Maxwell said, looking reminiscent before scowling. "I lost a bet."

"That was a good day for me," Kineil said fondly.

"You fleeced me."

"And your point?"

"I'll pay you another fifty bucks to go with me to the next town over and fleece _them_."

"Max, you shouldn't fleece people," Yami chided.

"And besides, I've done that shadow-travel thing with you," Kineil pointed out. "I didn't like it."

"Really?" Maxwell asked in a mocking tone. "I couldn't tell."

"I'll make sure to scream in your ear louder next time."

"Please don't."

"Moving on," Teana ordered, gesturing to the diner. "Since this falls under Administrator jurisdiction, and since unfortunately you're the only Administrator in the immediate vicinity—how much longer is this going to take? I have a job on the line here."

Maxwell went quiet and confused, glancing at her, the diner, at Yami minutely shaking his head at him, back to her—

And then his face split into an unpleasant grin—she could practically _see_ the lightbulb going off in his head.

"Well, so _that's_ why you were so desperate to get that hustled through!" Maxwell crowed, addressing Yami. Teana looked at Yami, who looked appropriately chagrined and caught.

"Quick," Yami said to Kineil in an undertone. "Give me a good reason why I shouldn't kill Max right here."

"Too many witnesses," Kineil said promptly.

"Right. Thanks."

"Cheers," Maxwell noised.

"I'd like to hear how we got to this point," Teana said crossly, hands on her hips.

"If I had to guess, your beau fixing your problems."

"I wasn't asking _you."_

"Ah," Yami coughed. "Well, see…remember how I told you I made your boss' acquaintance? That was on the phone that morning, and…words were had. Pointed ones. With some heat to them."

"Are you kidding?" Kineil asked. "I could have fried an egg over you—you were steaming. I _should_ have fried an egg over you—why didn't I?"

"Yes, why didn't you?" Maxwell asked.

"My only excuse was that I was severely hung over at the time."

"That explains _so_ much."

"And how did that get to here?" Teana pressed.

"I may have mentioned having an inspection conducted…and then I sort of had to follow up on it," Yami hedged.

"And you needed someone to hustle it along and knew I was the one for the job," Maxwell said, sounding like he had just solved the mystery in a dime novel and grinning as he pulled a cigar out. "I must say, this was _definitely_ worth the price of admission."

"Remind me again why I'm not killing Max," Yami said to Kineil.

"Too many witnesses," Kineil said promptly.

"Right, thanks."

"Cheers," Maxwell said, lighting his cigar.

"And the reason you failed to mention this was because?" Teana pressed, a dangerous edge to her voice.

"Because I had the feeling you'd be reacting like you are right now and Kineil could fry an egg over you?" Yami guessed.

"I could," Kineil said, looking Teana over before turning to Maxwell. "I need an egg."

"Do I _look_ like a grocery store?" Maxwell asked, waving his cigar around.

"No, but you don't look like a window either, even though you're a pain."

Teana, meanwhile, was glaring at Yami.

"To be fair, you didn't need a job where the boss would fire you at the drop of a hat," Yami said hastily.

"And what other jobs could I get?" she snapped, knowing full well the job situation at the moment.

Yami gestured in absolute confusion. "Singer, dancer, ticket taker—underwater basket weaving!"

"You could take _his_ job," Maxwell said, pointing at Yami.

"Too many witnesses," Kineil said, before Yami could react.

"Right," Yami muttered, sagging.

"I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I don't take these jobs for my health!" Teana said. "But I doubt you _would_ notice, because you're too busy to actually look down and take note of the Commoner situation!"

"Yeah," Maxwell drawled, tapping the ash off his cigar. "Except for the one standing right in front of him who always shoots down his attempts at helping her—and him calling in a tizzy, too. But obviously his one goal in life is just to torment you by attempting to better your life. Shame on him."

Teana glared at him, absolutely fuming—blinked in surprise when Kineil snapped her fingers in front of her face, redirecting her attention.

"Too many witnesses," Kineil informed her.

"Right," Teana declared, turning on her heel. "I'm leaving. Don't follow me," she added, pointing at Yami. "I need to _not_ be around Magicians for a while."

And with that, she stalked off.

"I don't think witnesses are going to help matters," she heard Yami informing Kineil.

"This is true. Run you fool," Kineil said, probably to Maxwell.

Teana turned a corner, glanced out of the corner of her eye to see Maxwell suddenly vanish from sight, like he simply dropped from view. Good riddance.

It most certainly didn't help that that irritating, smug… _jerk_ had a point, and that every time Yami tried to help, it just rubbed her the wrong way. She had worked hard to get where she was, and she most certainly did _not_ need someone to try to sweep her off her feet and solve all her problems.

Except….Where she was wasn't exactly top of the heap. She barely had any personal time to her life, and she was working so hard at the places she did work at that she had no time for advancement. She wasn't even entirely certain what she had said about the job field was true—she hadn't really had time to check.

And she was trying very hard to remain justified about her reaction, when the fact of the matter was the jerk had a point.

And that irked her more than words could say.

*/*\\*

It was early morning, and beneath Yuki's bed Yami could see Scrump using his pin as a toothpick to scrape the dirt out from between the floorboards and deposit it in what looked suspiciously like a thimble. The sun was barely up, and Yami had the feeling the little voodoo doll had not and did not need to sleep.

Yami, meanwhile, had woken up early, unable to get a good night's sleep, and had spent most of the pre-dawn perusing the spellbook from the attic.

And he found what had been worrying him for quite some time: he was nearing the end of the book.

He was running out of spells to learn.

Granted, it had used up a chunk of August and September, but still…he had eleven more months to kill. You know, if the Administrators didn't hold him back another year.

He found himself staring at the little voodoo doll. Now _there_ was his major worry—that he'd be held back again, that he'd never progress, that….

He heaved a sigh, eminently frustrated. And a mite worried about the fact that the answer to his problem had been supplied by the Boogie Mage.

 _Why_ , exactly, was that spellbook in his family's attic?...And was there more….

Again, a sigh, and then he stuffed the spellbook beneath his mattress. No need for his family to find it and start asking questions that didn't have good answers.

He laid there for a while, still watching Scrump work, occasionally glancing up at Yuki, sleeping soundly with Owley the stuffed owl hugged tightly to his chest. He would tease him about that, except for the fact that he had a ratty round brown thing with yellow eyes and green feet named Kuri tucked beside his pillow, so he had no room for throwing stones in his glass house.

Yami sighed again, levered himself up, made his bed, and headed for the door.

Might as well get started with his day.


	56. Birds and Daffodils

**Chapter 56, everybody! In which birds fly in and daffodils honk and the little Starling lives again through story….Yes, Lil' Stevie was the name of the little Starling who lasted a week back in June. I still miss him.**

 **Movie this week is** ** _AI: Artificial Intelligence_** **, which surprised Mom as she recalled me not liking it. I thought it was maybe because she was confusing it with** ** _The Sixth Sense,_** **which also starred Haley Joel Osment and which I immensely disliked, or maybe because I was young when I watched** ** _AI_** **. Nope—disliked it now, too, which is a true pity because it had some really good cinematography. Saying that, the body horror, the subject matter, and the fact that the thing drags** ** _on_** **—about halfway through the movie I started checking the time, and when I had to pause it to go do something, I saw there was still an hour left and squawked** ** _when is this thing going to_** ** _end_** ** _!?_** **So not one of Spielberg's strongest works, sorry. ^^;**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, bad Max, shame on you. Hey, she's learning! And yes, very cute. ^^**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Ah, no worries. ^^ Yes, a point for Yami—and thank you! Now I'm not sure if it was intentional or not….Yes, yes, and yes—but unlike Kineil, who just wants this mess over with, Maxwell likes seeing things blow up. Yes, what an industrious little voodoo doll! But if he doesn't clean, what will he do?...**

 **Guest who I am guessing is Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Ah, a pity….Yes, those are the best ones to try it out on. :D Yeah….Oh man, introducing Frost King Yami to hail—a little late to do that in the story itself, but I could definitely do a snippet or two and publish them separately. :D Ah…it's kind of good—learning is important!**

 **References:**

 _ **Yu-Gi-Oh!**_ **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 _ **The Nightmare Before Christmas**_ **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 _ **Dharma and Greg**_ **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family—and the crack about Café Snooty)**

 _ **Skulduggery Pleasant**_ **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages and the quote)**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 _ **Guardians of Ga'Hoole**_ **© 2003 Kathryn Lasky (hagsfiends)**

 ** _Chicken Run_** **© 2000 DreamWorks (I picture Teana asking "Comfortable?" in Ginger's exact tone)**

 ** _The Great Gatsby_** **© 1925 F. Scott Fitzgerald (book); 2013 Baz Luhrmann (which prompted me to read the book)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Yami gave her a week, refreshingly, before showing up on her sill in his Hagsfiend guise.

"Would you be open to accepting my apology for ruining your life now?" he asked upon Teana opening the window.

"I'll think about it," she said.

"Ouch," Yami noised, wincing—an odd expression on a bird, to be sure. "And with me listening to Kineil and waiting, too."

"I do appreciate that," Teana said. "And I've worked something out with my landlord, so there's that."

"Wonderful! So things are fixed."

"There is the small matter of you going behind my back to fix my problems."

"Ah, yeah…but you don't have to deal with that job anymore! And I was talking to Mitzi the other day, and she wouldn't mind hearing you sing and giving you a job if you're good, which I'm sure you are—"

"You're solving my problems again."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

"It's irksome."

"Why?"

"That's irksome too."

"Again, why?"

She heaved a sigh. "Because I'm used to solving my own problems, and having someone else solve them for me is a little bothersome to me, okay?"

"Okay," Yami said, bobbing his bird head. "See? Don't you feel better now?"

She gave that some thought. "No, not really."

"Huh. Getting things off your chest is supposed to make you feel better."

"That should tell you something."

"I do feel as though I'm missing something."

"Go with that feeling. And while you're at it, go."

"Actually, I was hoping to take you to dinner."

"Is it someplace where you know people? And why are you jumping up and down like that?"

"I'm thrilled to death that you didn't automatically say _no_ ," Yami said, ceasing his bopping. "Anywho, I'm fairly certain I don't know anybody there—Gatsby's up at Norkyew. Heard of it?"

"That's an all-day trip."

"It'll be fun."

"I don't want to go on an all-day trip."

"Maybe later?"

"Maybe on a special occasion—like New Year's."

"Right. I need my calendar…."

"You're unbelievable."

"I try," Yami said, tipping his head. "All right then—where do _you_ want to go?"

"I already have dinner plans."

"Really? What are they?"

"A peanut butter and jelly sandwich right here."

"That's a terrible dinner plan—that isn't even dinner. That's lunch."

"Are you questioning my logic?"

"No, just your eating habits."

She shoved him off the sill and closed the window.

He was back a few moments later, tapping on the window until she opened it again.

"You know, that's not how you win an argument," he pointed out.

"Oh, is that what we're doing now?"

"I think so, yes."

"Then let me make it easy for you: the woman always wins. There. You can go now."

"Wonderful!" Yami said. "So where do you want to eat dinner?"

"What did I just say?"

"I've acquiesced to not trying to correct your eating habits. What else—oh. And you're right about me not messing about with your employment, even though I'm sure that you and I and any random person you grab off the street would agree that the man was a louse."

"Are you done?"

Yami gave that some thought. "And I'm sorry, I shouldn't have tried to fix your problems behind your back. There. _Now_ I'm done."

She sighed, rubbed her forehead before sitting down.

"I forgive you," she said finally. "But stop trying to make my life all roses, okay?"

"Why not?"

"I don't like roses."

"Oh. What flowers _do_ you like then?"

"I have no idea, honestly."

Yami gave that some thought. "I think you might like daffodils. I do—especially the kind that grows behind my house. They have little googly eyes and they honk at you when you walk by."

"Those things were _real?_ I thought I was drunk!"

"You _were_ drunk."

"I mean I thought I was seeing things."

"You were—you were seeing little honking daffodils."

"Yami…."

Yami simply beamed at her, again an expression she wasn't sure of coming from a bird.

But she liked it, oddly enough.

*/*\\*

Yami was reaching the end of the spellbook.

Yuki reflected that wasn't a good thing. Yami was always the sort to need constant distraction. If he didn't have that, he'd be banging his head against the wall, and that wasn't exactly conductive to anything. Unless, of course, you wanted to hurt your head—in which case it worked just fine.

In Yuki's case, banging his head against a wall was preferable to going to Hallowed Fields. At least with Yami and the spellbook, Yuki was _learning_ something. And if he wanted to learn the next spell, he'd better hustle.

Yuki ran up the steps, darted to his room, deposited his backpack—

Something tapped on the window.

He looked up and smiled when he saw it was a bird—a little Starling, drab and common to most, but definitely a beautiful bird if viewed in the right light. He crossed over to the window and opened it.

"Hello," he greeted as it hopped in and onto the desk.

" _Hello,"_ it chimed back—male. " _Are you Yuki Montgau?"_

"Yeah—and what's your name?"

 _"I'm Lil' Stevie,"_ the Starling said. _"Mom said to tell you something."_

Yuki was of the opinion that 'Lil' Stevie' was an odd name for a bird. "Why are you called Lil' Stevie?" he asked.

 _"That's what Mom named me."_

Right. "Okay. Who's your mom? Do I know her?"

 _"Maybe. She said to tell you when you go in the attic again to look at the pictures some more."_

Yuki blinked at that information. "Does your family have a nest in our dormers?"

 _"No. She says you'll find some interesting pictures up there if you look long enough."_

"I already found some interesting pictures—Dad wore some weird clothes back then."

 _"Mom says these are from your mother's side."_

Yuki blinked at that information. Mom's side of the family didn't really have a whole lot of photos…."What's your mom's name?"

Lil' Stevie looked away at a chirp. _"I have to go,"_ he said to Yuki, hopping out. _"It was nice meeting you."_

"Bye," Yuki said, sticking his head out the window to watch him go. The little Starling flew into the woods, between the boughs of the trees—

And Yuki saw a bit of blue light flash away.

Again, that moment when he had to blink in surprise. What could have caused that light, he wondered.

And why would a bird be telling him to look at pictures in a musty old attic?

*\\*/*

The next night saw Teana reading in her bed, which was interrupted when there was a knocking at her door.

"Oh goodness me, how plebian," she noised out loud, glad she hadn't changed out of her day clothes yet. "It must be a Commoner coming to call."

She opened the door—had to crane her neck to look Yami Skellington in the face. He was currently slouching, and yet still had that wild hair brushing the ceiling.

"Comfortable?" she asked him.

"See, _this_ is why I use the window," Yami said, looking uncomfortable.

"I can see that. For the record, this hall was made for people of normal height."

"I can see that."

"I see. And why are you using the hall? I thought you liked windows."

"I do—ask Skulduggery, he'll tell you that doors are for people with no imagination."

"Yes, well, I don't like that first step out the window. I also don't like the fact that you might make a scene here in the hall."

"Does that mean you'll invite me in?"

"No, it means I'll let you tell me why you're here and then usher you out with all haste."

"Cheers," he noised, before holding a hand up—alerting her to the fact that he had kept one hand hidden behind his back this whole time. "But as I noticed your apartment is lacking in foliage—for you."

And with that, he brought his hand forward, revealing a pot with a pair of daffodils in it. A pair of daffodils with googly eyes that honked at her when they saw her.

"Is that a smile I see?" Yami asked, grinning.

Teana didn't trust herself to answer—she was afraid a laugh would come out. "Maybe," she said finally. "Is…." Okay, talking was not in the foreseeable future—she had to press her free hand to her mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

"Oh wow, this is even better!" Yami said. "I'm going to plant a whole troupe of them out front then—I love seeing you laugh." His smile shifted to a bit of a grimace. "Of course, these daffodils are apparently opposed to being uprooted…I guess that's a thing."

The daffodils honked indignantly at him before returning their attention to Teana, who finally accepted the pot.

"Yes," Teana managed finally, putting a finger near the daffodils—they kind of snuffled at her finger when she did. "Not everyone appreciates being uprooted and having their life turned upside down."

"There's a metaphor there—I can sense it."

"Then you're not as dense as I first feared."

"Ouch."

She turned, put the pot on her windowsill, reflected that that didn't take as long as she would have liked.

"I had to have two in there," Yami continued. "They get lonely when they're by themselves."

She looked back at him, leaning on the doorframe and watching her with a smile on his face—not a mean smile, or any other adjective she could readily identify; maybe just happy to see her. Or maybe he was happy that he managed to turn her earlier mention of metaphors on her.

She sighed, bopped the daffodils lightly with her finger, looked down at her shoes by the bed. "I…suppose I could maybe go out to dinner."

"That's splendid," Yami said, sounding genuine. "Where would you like?"

"Did you ever find someplace local that your friends don't visit?"

"Eh…Café Snooty, but I don't go there either." Yami tapped his chin, giving it some thought as she pulled her shoes on. "Although I suppose we could order something to go somewhere and eat elsewhere."

She finished with her shoes, waved goodbye to the daffodils, and shoved Yami out of the doorframe as she grabbed her keys and pulled her door shut behind her. Not that she had anything of value to steal, but she had gotten into the habit of locking her door when she had come home one night to a vagrant sleeping on her floor.

"We'll think of something," Teana said, leading Yami down the hall and the stairs. "There isn't… _really_ a Café Snooty, is there?"

Yami's expression told her he was finding her reactions to his friends less odd.

"There will be when Heph and Vul finish with the sign."


	57. Punkie Night

**Chapter 57, everybody! In which we reference a local orchard and my first college's reaction to October as a whole….For the record, what Greg observes is true for the legislation of the United States: the President** ** _can_** **veto any bill that comes to his office; however, the veto** ** _can_** **also be overturned.**

 **Movies this week are** ** _Ice Age: Collision Course_** **and** ** _The Secret Life of Pets:_**

 ** _Ice Age: Collision Course…._** **Please don't waste your money. It's the same stuff, different movie, and they've really run the series into the ground. Also, again, I feel it odd that a parent is penalized for being concerned for their child—especially when said child wants to run off into the wilderness with a guy who, if he could wear shoes, would not be able to tie them. :| Honestly, from the second movie onward would have done better as a TV series than a bunch of movies.**

 ** _The Secret Life of Pets_** **—I had to convince my parents to go to this one, and Mom repeatedly asked me how I heard about it, as she hadn't seen it advertised. Please, go see this movie. Granted, the plot is a little like** ** _Toy Story_** **with dogs, but it's fun, and it feels like something was accomplished by the end of the movie. It's definitely more satisfying than the Ice Age movie (which we saw on the same day).**

 **Moving on!**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, definitely—that is the** ** _exact_** **way to describe** ** _A.I._** **Yes! Beware the flora! And I want them too….I did a picture of them over on DeviantArt under my Flowers folder, if you feel like looking at some. :D If not that, then her heart. :) Good question—and this is true. Lil' Stevie lives on in bird Heaven, our hearts, and my stories. TvT Me too—and me too….**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! That's two! :D I think that may have been the original inspiration for them, come to think of it….Probably true—and why did my e-mail edit the word "snuff"?...**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Sure—but not in the same box; the poor daffodils would freeze. D: Because the Internet and the computer are against you, that's why! Yes, definitely—Mom told me how Stephen King would write little bits related to his stories after he finished because he had leftover creative juices relating to the story, so if a well-known professional author can do it, why not? Oh dear—and ouch. Yes, I'd say you have nowhere to go but up. :|**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Criminal Minds_** **© 2005 Jeff Davis (the other side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages and the quote)**

 ** _Guardians of Ga'Hoole_** **© 2003 Kathryn Lasky (hagsfiends and Punkie Night)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

October was always one of the busiest times of the year.

Punkie Night, the harvest festival, Balefire Night, and of course, Mischief Night and Halloween, all of which involved copious amounts of planning and organizing. The whole month was a celebration, and Greg was more often than not grateful for the relative quiet of the more family-focused November and its turkey-coma Thanksgiving before once again going into hectic overdrive with Frostfeed Night, the winter festival, Christmas, and New Years'.

People complained about how slow and quiet months like January and February were. Not Greg—Greg was too busy catching up on his sleep then.

It was anticipation for such events that made him hyperaware of the fact that it was getting close to the end of September—within a fortnight of such—and no such pertinent papers had crossed his desk.

To be honest, he really should have noticed this earlier, but the curveball Administrator Carter had thrown him had kept him distracted. Hotchner had taken the case, yes, and it would take him a while to get it to his team, but still….It was hard not to think about it.

But his conversation with Jenna last night brought to his attention the fact that yes, the papers that he usually told the time of the month by had not crossed his desk. And now _that_ was what was plaguing his thoughts.

So, deciding to do something about it, he got up and strode out of his office with purpose.

And nearly ran smack into Head Administrator Sumbinix.

"You seem distracted," Administrator Sumbinix observed, patting his white comb-over to make sure it was still decent.

"I was just looking for you," Greg said, not feeling the need to apologize, as he had not been apologized to. "October's right around the corner, and I haven't gotten anything on organizing any of the events."

"Ah. That's right, that's why I wanted to come talk to you," Sumbinix said. "The Administrators were considering phasing out some of the more unnecessary holidays."

Greg blinked, took a moment to digest that. "Come again?"

"Come, sit down," Sumbinix said, leading him back to Greg's office. "Five different celebrations in one month—it's a little much, isn't it? All that planning and organizing is stressful, and then the cleanup afterwards—and don't get me started on what some people _do_ during that time."

Greg had heard the rumors. And to be honest, he felt it was just that—rumor. But on to more pressing matters: "And _when_ exactly were you planning on informing the Head Mage of this decision?"

"That's what I came here to discuss with you."

"But let me guess: the Administrators have already discussed this and passed it, and should the Head Mage veto, they're quite capable of passing it through anyway with two-thirds majority."

"You're sounding vaguely antagonistic there."

"I'm more than a little miffed that this discussion was not brought to my attention."

"Commoner affairs are the jurisdiction of the Administration."

"But this doesn't affect just the Commoners, this affects everyone. Why on earth would you think this was a good idea?"

"If you have an issue with it, just veto it."

"For it to be overturned at a later date."

"You seem to keep coming back to that."

Greg gritted his teeth and forced himself to inhale; he wasn't getting anywhere like this.

"Let me think about it," Greg said. "And that does _not_ mean I say _yes_."

"Fair enough," Sumbinix said, looking like he had won.

Greg quickly ushered him out before running off on his own errands.

He needed to put a stop to this, and _fast_.

*\\*/*

Teana liked Punkie Night, if for nothing else because Mr. Tern gave her the night off. She was planning to spend it like she had always spent it before: curled up with a few books borrowed from the library and a warm mug of cider and a half-dozen cinnamon donuts (which would last her a day and a half until they became hard, at which point they were fodder for the little Starlings outside).

This plan, however, was doomed to failure when a large and familiar black bird landed on her sill and tapped out "Shave and a Haircut" on her window. As such, she wasn't at all surprised that it spoke when she opened the window.

"Happy Punkie Night!" Yami greeted cheerily. "Is that your costume?"

"It's my bathrobe over my nightgown—are you insane?"

"That _would_ explain a lot," Yami admitted, glancing around her. "Are those from Fifer's?"

" _Shoo,"_ she ordered, making the same motion with her hands. "Those aren't for you. Those are for breakfast for me and Lil' Stevie tomorrow."

"For _who?"_

"It's what I call the little Starling that sits on my windowsill in the mornings."

"He sounds like a nice little bird."

"He's preferable to the big odd bird currently on my windowsill."

"Would you rather I be a tall gangly guy in your room?"

In response, Teana shoved him off the sill and shut the window.

After a count of thirty, he was back at the window.

"So," he said when she opened the window again. "Can I invite you to a night on the town? It'll be fun."

"I try to avoid being out on the town when all the crazies are out."

"Trust me when I say they're not _that_ crazy."

"Unfortunately, I think you know that because you're friends with said crazy people."

"This may be an unfortunate truth. So do you have a costume, or do you need some help getting one together?"

"Is there something wrong with staying inside and reading?"

"No, but you can do that any old night—Punkie Night only comes once a year."

"For which some of us are grateful."

"Come on, it'll be fun."

"Have I yet exhausted all the possible ways I could say _no?"_

"You'd like it."

"I doubt it."

"And I'll leave you alone for the whole day tomorrow."

Hmmm…."Include your freaky friends in the offer and you have a deal."

"I thought you wanted to avoid them."

"The part they're being included in is the _leaving me alone_ part."

"Ah," Yami noised, as Teana went to her closet and pulled out some clothes before heading for her bathroom. "You know, some people actually _like_ interacting with other people."

"Wonderful!" Teana called as she shut the door. "Then tomorrow you can hang out with _them._ Now give me a bit to get changed, and I'll meet you downstairs."


	58. Punking

**Chapter 58, everybody! In which adults refuse to act their age….Thank you, everyone, for the concern about** ** _The Frost King_** **—I must apologize for the delay, which came from a combination of inspiration elsewhere/crucial chapter/boiling hot weather that provided a lot of inspiration for** ** _The Magicians' Realm_** **and none for** ** _The Frost King_** **. However, with any luck, I'll have the much anticipated next chapter up tomorrow, so stay tuned. :)**

 **The movie this week is the 2016 remake of** ** _Pete's Dragon,_** **which was a lot better than I had initially hoped—very few slow bits, the dragon and its animation was entirely enjoyable and believable, and the whole thing made** ** _sense_** **, which I honestly wasn't expecting. :O**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Agreed, and agreed—he's kind of like our President in that regards: major figurehead, but when one actually examines what he's allowed to do, one will find that it's not really all that much. This is true—and maybe that's her problem….And yes, that is Yami's plan. :D We'll be getting an update for that tomorrow, even if it kills me (but I hope it doesn't).**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Something's better than nothing! This is true—no, no, it's inspiration problems on my end; Yami doesn't want to come visiting in 95+ degree weather (I've been having to bribe him back with Trans-Siberian Orchestra music). Precisely! Well that's good—progress! :D**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Yes, I don't understand it. Punkie Night, as I figure it, actually takes place on October 1** **st** **, but Yami Skellington definitely lives for this month. :D We might have a reference to spooky titles in this chapter—and yes, definitely. :D I think you may have guessed that correctly….**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 ** _Guardians of Ga'Hoole_** **© 2003 Kathryn Lasky (Punkie Night)**

 ** _1984_** **© 1949 George Orwell (the lines Vulcan quotes come from a nursery rhyme mentioned in the book)**

 ** _Dragonfly_** **© 1999 Fredric S. Durbin (Kineil dresses up as Samuel Hain from the story)**

 ** _Beetlejuice_** **(cartoon) © 1989 Tim Burton (Teana ends up in Lydia's poncho)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say, pal, get off my lawn!")**

 ** _Hunchback of Notre Dame_** **© 1996 Disney (the reference to Topsy-Turvy Day)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Teana met Yami on the front steps of her apartment, where he was waiting with a shawl that had a spiderweb pattern on it.

"Just a little something I whipped up," he said nonchalantly, holding it up for her. "You need _something_ fitting for the occasion."

"I wore gray and orange—what else do you want?" she asked, pulling the shawl on.

"Well, you _do_ want something appropriate—otherwise, you might make yourself fair game."

Yami, she noticed, had a luminous skeleton pattern on his suit—ironic, she felt. "See, this is why I stay in," she told him. "I don't like getting punked."

"But it's fun," he pointed out. "It's like Topsy-Turvy Day—it's a time to cut loose and goof off a little. Besides, the rule is nothing mean-spirited or permanent. It's just an opportunity to spook each other and goof off—and besides, no one will mess with you with _me_ standing next to you."

"And what makes you so sure?"

He held up his hands in an obvious _watch this_ gesture, turned to face a gaggle of kids heading their way—and then jumped in front of them, cape going everywhere as his arms flew up, hands claws facing backwards as he roared at the kids. They scattered, laughing.

"See?" he asked, turning back to her. "Now you try."

"I'll pass," she said. "I wouldn't want to steal your thunder."

"Ouch. Come on—the real fun's over here, I can hear it."

So could she, and she wasn't too surprised to see Kineil, Hephaestus and Vulcan tearing up and running around with the kids when they rounded the corner.

"I thought this was a kid's holiday," she pointed out.

"Yes, well, we're kids at heart," Yami said.

"That explains _so_ much."

"'Here comes a lighter to light you to bed!'" Vulcan quoted, chasing after a couple of kids in ghost sheets. "'And here comes a chopper to chop off your head!'"

"You better run kiddies!" Hephaestus crowed, wearing an ugly green sackcloth over his clothes, messy blonde hair everywhere without his fedora. "Before the boogieman gets you!"

"Run them this way!" Kineil called, dressed in a suit that shimmered when she moved, her hair dusted with a shimmering gray. "Sam Hain could use a few for his factory!"

"Can I go home now?" Teana asked.

"At least give me an hour," Yami begged. "There needs to be a proper balance between hours spent here and the day that's me-free."

"Right, right," she sighed, as Yami jumped in front of a few witches and a mummy and flared his cape dramatically.

"Right into the grasp of the Skeleton King!" he mock snarled. The kids _eek_ ed accordingly.

And then the kids were focused on her.

"What are you supposed to be?" one asked.

"I'm just me," Teana said.

"That's not scary," a mummy pointed out.

"Yeah," a witch said. "You're supposed to be scary—how is that scary?"

Teana smiled, leaned down so she was on their level, and spoke as blandly as possible.

"Because I know who you are, and I saw what you did," she told them. "And I'm telling your parents."

The kids gasped and fled.

"Wow," Hephaestus opined. "You're really good at this."

"Yeah," Kineil added. "Usually it's only Max who can get away with going as themselves."

"Oh great, he's in on this," Teana observed drily.

"Well, Max _can_ come off as a bit…unfriendly," Yami began. "But when you actually get to know him—"

And then with a poof, the man in question popped up beside Yami, making shushing motions.

"Now, now, don't give away the big secret," Maxwell chided.

"It's a secret?" Yami asked.

"That explains _so_ much," Kineil said.

"Is how you popped in from nowhere a secret too?" Teana had to ask.

"It is," Maxwell said, smoothing his lapels—Teana noted that the only change to his outfit was that his suit shoulders were pointier. "We can't have it getting around how I get around, otherwise there _will be death,"_ he snarled, smoothly switching gears and turning slowly to snarl at a gaggle of kids who had had the obvious intention of punking him. Teana was surprised they didn't leave little dust clouds as they fled—or their shoes.

"Don't wonder why no one is fond of you," Teana pointed out.

"I don't wonder—I know," Maxwell replied, back to conversational, the switch so smooth it was frightening. "It's part of my master plan to train for when I'm old and can sit on my porch and yell at kids to get off my lawn."

"You can do that now," Kineil pointed out.

"I could….But I don't have a lawn."

"I could loan you some of mine."

" _You_ don't have a lawn," Yami pointed out.

"I have _your_ lawn."

"Yes, but it's _my_ lawn."

"Not any more—I'm re-appropriating some of it."

"But it's _my_ lawn."

"Tough."

"Did you just steal some of my lawn?"

"Yes I did—what are you going to do about it?"

"Are they for real?" Teana asked Hephaestus and Vulcan, who had come over to watch.

"What this?" Hephaestus asked. "Yeah, sure."

"All the time," Vulcan agreed.

"It's like quality entertainment without the commercials."

"Yeah….'And now a word from our sponsor: Blue Coal! America's number one anthracite!'"

"So how much would you pay me for some of his lawn?" Kineil was asking Maxwell.

"I don't know if I want _his_ lawn," Maxwell said. "It might have his cooties on it."

"This is true."

"I know when I'm being mocked," Yami interposed, looking back and forth between the two like he was watching a tennis match.

"That was more than I would have given you," Maxwell said.

"This is also true," Kineil agreed, before pointing dramatically. "Now come! We fly!"

And with that, she ran off.

"I get tired just watching her," Maxwell muttered, before clicking his heels together—

And falling through his own shadow.

Teana stared at the point he disappeared into for a few gob-smacked moments.

"What was that?" she asked finally, pointing.

"That was Maxwell's shadow-travel," Yami explained, looking where she indicated. "It's how he gets around so fast and pops in right behind you without your noticing."

"I hate it when he does that," Hephaestus declared.

"Only because you screamed like a little girl when he did it to you," Vulcan said.

"I did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did _not!"_

"Should you be stopping this?" Teana asked Yami, indicating where the two boys were now fighting.

"Nah," Yami said, hands on his hips. "They'll be fine. Shall we go?"

"Go home?"

"Ah, no. There will be a party thing in the Administrative Square—we should be there. There's dancing."

"Hmm…."

"Or I could take you down to the river where the Gypsians and Hippies are partying—"

"Let's go," Teana declared, grabbing his arm and heading for the Administrative Square.


	59. Dancing in the Square

**Chapter 59, everybody! In which groundshaking things happen…or not…something definitely happens here. "Tap Dancer's Dilemma" is a real song, by the way—go look it up. :)**

 **The band here is a group of guys who can be seen in my _Dragon Tamers_ folder over on DeviantArt, and are generally used when I need to have a band. And Fifer's is a real place, with exceptionally good cinnamon donuts and apple cider...I'm getting hungry now** **….**

 **Movie this week is** ** _Die Hard with a Vengeance,_** **which is an enjoyable romp featuring Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson outsmarting a bunch of thieves robbing the Federal Reserve—still a jab in the gut when they show the shot of the World Trade Center.**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes it is—check out the** ** _Guardians of Ga'Hoole_** **series for more about it. :D And the answer to that is a resounding** ** _no…._**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes it is! And thank you—happy birthday to you too. :D Yeah…fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your point of view, the weather is starting to shift—so now I want to write Halloween stuff. :\ It was! Wow….**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Yes…she did, in the best way. :D Yep! And most likely. Oooh, cool! And yes I do, even if sometimes it's pretty low-key—I went to my first ever comic con earlier this month, and I told everyone I was dressed up as an artist. ;)**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages and the quote)**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say, pal, what's with me having to dance, huh?")**

 ** _Guardians of Ga'Hoole_** **© 2003 Kathryn Lasky (Punkie Night)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

The partying in the Administrative Square was refreshingly clean, fortunately. Not too loud or boisterous, very family-friendly, very calm.

That ended when Yami's friends showed up.

"I have concerns," Teana informed Yami.

"What sort of concerns?" Yami asked.

"That you know these people."

"You get used to it."

"That's part of the concern."

Yami waved it off and steered her towards the bandstand, where Kineil was rattling off a list of songs she wanted the band to play. It wasn't Rocky and the rest of the Lackadaisy Revue, Teana noticed.

"Mitzi and Atlas throw their own party," he told her when she asked. "Hey, we should swing by!"

"I hope not on the way to the riverside parties."

"What's wrong with those?"

"I'm not sure if I trust you or your friends enough to go through the woods at night with a bunch of revelers darting around."

"You've done it before."

"There wasn't reveling going on then."

"Okay…I think…."

"You have any requests?" the piano player asked—Teana noted his hatband and tie were patterned after piano keys, and wondered how he had managed to keep his suit so pristine white.

"Plenty of couples dances, please," Yami put in.

"And I'm dancing with you because?" Teana asked.

In response, Yami took a deep bow.

"Miss Teana Gardenier, may I please have this dance?" he asked in grandiose manner before flashing her a smile. "See? I asked nicely."

"People are staring."

"They are? So they are. Good for them."

"Yes, wonderful," Kineil noised, before turning back to the sax player. "Play 'Tap Dancer's Dilemma,' will you?"

"Sure thing," the sax player said, before turning to the rest of the band and giving out a few orders.

"Wonderful," Kineil said, turning on her heel and bolting off. "Max! I got them to play it!"

"Woo," Teana heard Maxwell say unenthusiastically.

"Do you like fast dances?" Yami asked Teana.

"I…think so. Maybe," Teana hedged.

"Well then, let's find out, shall we?" Yami asked, leading her to a clearer spot. "You want me to get you a drink?"

"What, you're not joining me?"

"You don't want me dancing to something fast—with something slow I can get away with looking graceful, but me trying to dance to something fast ends up looking like a crane being strangled."

"What an image."

"I know—I'm kind of jealous of Max, actually, what with him being my height and long-limbed too. But _he_ manages to pull it off," Yami said, pointing.

Teana looked—the song had started, and she could see Kineil and Maxwell dancing; yes, Kineil did have taps on, and she was using them, occasionally striking the ground hard enough to send up sparks.

"When did she put those on?" Teana asked.

"She always wears those," Yami pointed out.

"But—wait, if she did, wouldn't we be able to _hear_ that when she walks?"

"You can hear it when she taps her foot—but like Max said, Kineil can sneak in tap shoes; she can sneak up right behind a person without them hearing it. I don't think she even realizes she does it—it's uncanny, really…."

"She can sneak in tap shoes," Teana said blankly.

"I believe that's been established, yes."

" _How?"_

Yami looked like he bit back his first flip response, if the way he bit his lip and smiled was any indication. "Ah, kind of—Kineil has Injun blood in her. She's quite capable of walking softly in any situation, even when the occasion doesn't call for it."

"You have strange friends."

"That's occurred to me, yes. And for the record, it didn't really occur to me until _after_ I met _you_."

"Are you saying _I'm_ strange?"

"Maybe a little." The song finished and a slower one started up. "May I have this dance?"

"I don't know—I'm not sure if I'm feeling insulted or not."

"I'm sorry?"

She sighed and leaded him out into a clearer spot. "Come on," she chided. "Let's dance."

*/*\\*

Yami climbed up into the attic, followed by Yuki. Man, it was stuffy up here—was it ever going to cool off?

"Lil' Stevie says to look at the pictures," Yuki declared as Yami opened the window.

" _Huh_?" Yami had to ask.

"He's a Starling."

Yami couldn't help his shoulders sagging as he looked at his brother through half-lidded eyes. "A little birdie told you to look at pictures," he said, deadpan.

"Yeah," Yuki responded.

"Do you have any idea how that _sounds?"_

"Yeah."

Yami shook his head and waved him off. "Go on, go look at the pictures then—I've got spellbooks to find, if you don't mind."

"You got it."

Oi.

*\\*/*

She had managed to talk Yami out of taking her to the Gypsians, but Punkie Night with him had been fun.

Granted, it had also been sleepless—and while she would never tell Yami this, Teana was actually glad her mornings were free now.

The little Starling came to sit on her sill—she gave him a little piece of her donut and dunked a larger chunk in her coffee.

"I'd tell you how my night went," she told him. "But I'm worried that Yami Skellington holds regular conversations with birds."

The little Starling she had named Lil' Stevie simply chirped at her, as if to say _that wasn't nearly enough donut._ She gave him another little piece.

"Enjoy this," she informed him. "Because if I don't get another job, I won't be able to afford this flat, and the next person might not be so accommodating."

Except there _was_ that standing offer….

"I can't move," she said. "Who would feed you?"

Again, Lil' Stevie replied with a chirp.

"You're sweet, but you can't rely on the kindness of strangers," Teana said, before reflecting on what, exactly, she was doing. "And now I'm carrying on a conversation with a bird. That's nice." And troublesome—Yami and his group was rubbing off on her.

"Hello!"

And now she was bonkers—the bird was talking back.

No wait—that was from the street.

She looked down to see Mitzi May waving up at her.

"Hello," Teana replied, waving back. "You _are_ talking to me, right?"

"Of course I am," Mitzi said. "It's just interesting to see a familiar face over this way. How are you?"

"I'm eating cinnamon donuts from Fifer's."

"Doing good then—I love their cider. Any plans for later?"

"Work, I suppose. What are you doing over this way?"

"I'm off to see a man about a horse," Mitzi replied, which to Teana meant she was evading the question. "Yami mentioned the other day that you were in need of a job to supplement your income."

"I can waitress, if that's what you're after."

"Oh pish—after what I saw last night, I'd be a fool to hire you as a waitress. What do you think of dancing as a career?"

"I don't follow."

"I want to hire you as a dancer."

"And what does that entail?"

"On paper, you're paid to dance. In practice, you're paid to get up on the floor and break the ice so other people start dancing with you."

"Gee, I don't know…shouldn't this sort of thing be handled by your husband?"

"Atlas is currently with Rocky at the racetracks—Atlas is handling business and Rocky…I'm not sure. Atlas probably has him selling lucky pencils."

"Maybe we should wait until he gets back."

"Don't you worry about Atlas, honey," Mitzi said, waving that off. "He lets me handle the business just fine—he knows it's in his better interest. Now I want to see you at the Lackadaisy Revue by eight tonight—we can go over everything then."

"Yeah, but—"

"Wonderful! See you then!"

And with that, Mitzi gave a little finger wave and walked off—how she managed to sashay in heels on cobblestone was beyond Teana, who was now worrying that she walked more like Kineil, who walked more like a boy than a young woman.

And then she actually _reflected_ on the conversation.

"What just happened?" she asked Lil' Stevie.

The little Starling simply chirped.

*/*\\*

They had been pawing through the attic for nearly an hour, and Yuki was beginning to get distracted.

"What are we doing again?" Yuki asked.

"Looking for more spellbooks or instructions or—"

"Or?" Yuki asked, glancing over at Yami. He was frozen over a chest.

"What is it?" Yuki asked, crossing over. "Did you find buried treasure?" he mentally kicked himself as he said it; buried treasure would be in the backyard.

Yami mutely showed him an old framed photograph.

Yuki looked.

It kind of looked like Yami, except older and thinner. He had a silly-looking tie holding a Head Mage's cape in place.

"Who is he?" Yuki asked.

"I don't know," Yami said, fishing the photo out of its frame.

"He looks like us," Yuki observed. "Are we related?"

"Probably," Yami muttered, flipping the photo over. "Why else would he be in one of our old chests?"

"But why here and not on the mantle?" Yuki wondered.

Yami sucked in a breath. "What?" Yuki asked.

In response, Yami pointed at the handwriting on the back. Yuki tilted his head to look—

And sucked in a breath as well.

It read, in neat handwriting: _Yami Skellington._

Beneath that was a date over a thousand years old.

Yuki looked at Yami. "We're not…."

"Related?" Yami finished. "It certainly looks that way."

Yuki went wide-eyed, absorbing this information. Finally, he spoke.

"Yami?" he asked, suddenly fearful of his brother's first name. "Now what?"

Yami, however, was slowly nodding, and slowly smiling. "This explains it. This explains _everything."_

Yuki looked surprised at his brother, who seemed the picture of relief. "Don't you get it?" Yami asked. " _This_ is why the Administrators held me back. They're afraid I'll turn out just like him. Because I'm…related…to…." He trailed off, the implications sinking in.

Yuki plopped down. Yami was right, this _did_ explain everything. His natural talent…."I didn't think Skellington _had_ kids," Yuki said.

Yami gave it some thought. "No, but he had two sisters. They could have saved everything."

"It still doesn't explain it….Does it?"

Yami looked at the photo again. "What was Mom's maiden name?"

"Skelton," Yuki replied promptly.

"'Skelton' sounds an awful lot like 'Skellington', doesn't it?"

Yuki digested this. "That means Mom's related to…."

"That _we're_ related to…."

They were silent for the longest time.

Yuki finally addressed the issue.

"Now what?"


	60. Transference

**Chapter 60, everybody! In which Teana is relocated against her will and Anzu sees a little bit of magic….Mom sneezes like Anzu, by the way—which made it odd for me the first time I heard someone do the 'mouse sneeze.' :\**

 **Movie this week is Disney's _Mulan_** **—love Mushu and Crick-ee and those three male friends of Mulan's...and the grandmother. And I love the fact that Mulan uses her brain to get out of situations, which seems like a good message to have squirreled away in such a fun and ofttimes intense movie. :D**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Yes, it was a ton of fun! I saw the Ghostbusters and classic Batman and Robin running around—and about halfway through Spider-Man was busted by Hydra and Spider-Captain America. :D Maybe….Bird puns are best puns. :D**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes, it took them long enough….It was! We went to Niagara Falls…and either Disney does a good job of replicating this sort of thing, or Niagara Falls is the biggest con this side of the Mississippi. Walking around the town in the middle of the night had to be the highlight, though, because it wasn't crowded and we got to see a lot—and we ran into some people playing Pokémon Go, which I found awesome for some reason (I don't know why…).**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _Pirates of the Caribbean_** **© 2003 Gore Verbinski (Teana quotes Barbossa, and I'm more than a little concerned that I'm starting to be able to type this information from memory)**

 ** _Shrek_** **© 2001 DreamWorks (Mordecai quotes Shrek, strangely enough)**

 ** _How to Train Your Dragon_** **© 2010 DreamWorks (Mordecai also quotes Gobber)**

 ** _Guardians of Ga'Hoole_** **© 2003 Kathryn Lasky**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Teana tried to put the earlier conversation entirely out of her mind, which was more than a little difficult when she passed Mordecai Heller on her way out of the bookkeepers.

"Mrs. May wishes for me to inform you to not forget your scheduled appointment," he said on his way in, not breaking stride.

Teana did break stride. "Do what?"

Mordecai didn't look up as he put his briefcase on the counter and opened it. "She asked me to remind you about some meeting you have with her. That was the entirety of the conversation. I didn't press for details."

"I—"

"That means I really don't want to know."

Teana blew out an irritated breath of air and left, and didn't give it a single thought until roughly eight-fifteen that night, when someone knocked on the door of her apartment.

"Someone knocks at my chamber door," she told the pair of honking daffodils. "That can't possibly be a Magician."

The daffodils simply honked at her.

Another knock, this time giving her the impression of irritability. She gave in and crossed over to pull it open.

Doing so revealed Mordecai Heller and a large one-eyed brute she vaguely remembered from the Lackadaisy Revue—Viktor, maybe.

"Is this the part where you break my kneecaps and throw me into the Thesdell?" she asked.

"You read too many pulp novels," Mordecai declared. "And apparently Mrs. May was accurate in her assumption that you'd try to quietly brush off a meeting with her."

"So she sends you two to muscle me over there."

"Be glad the relentless eyebrow is out of town."

 _"Who?"_

"Roark Rickaby—goes by Rocky. Apparently takes notes from Skellington."

"Oog."

"So you see, this was the better option."

"I look like I ticked off the local crime boss."

"It worries me that you think we look like Administrator goons."

Oi. And double oi for the fact that no one she talked to seemed fond of their government. "I am disinclined to acquiesce to a meeting at this time," she informed him. "Or any other, for that matter."

"I told her you might say that."

Viktor—who had been silent and glaring at nosy neighbors up until this moment, turned to them and finally spoke. "This is it? I climb stairs for this?"

"Yes, that was very rude," Mordecai said. "Viktor has bad knees—you've caused him undue suffering."

"Knees are bad because _you_ break them."

"Enlighten me as to a better way of reasoning with you then."

Teana felt this was probably the best time to start easing the door shut.

No dice—Mordecai's hand shot out, stopped it.

"Tell Mitzi I'm sorry, but I'm not interested," Teana said.

Mordecai's expression didn't really change, but something about the shadows of his face seemed to get darker. "I have news for you," he declared. "I'm not a messenger boy—I'm a _delivery boy."_

"You wouldn't dare."

"It's why I brought Viktor."

"Touch me and I scream bloody murder."

"I'll take my chances," Mordecai said, nodding to Viktor. And before Teana could reply, she suddenly found herself slung over Viktor's shoulder and heading down the hall.

"Hey!" she hollered. " _Hey! Put me down! Someone call the police!"_

Mordecai rolled his eyes, ducked into her apartment, came out with her shoes and closed the door behind her.

" _And lock my door!"_ she hollered at him, figuring there was nothing else for it.

Although to be honest, her night probably couldn't suck much worse than this.

*/*\\*

Yami entered the Delvaire Public Library and took a deep breath. Ah, old books. It was a nice smell.

Unfortunately, it smelled too much of his attic. He hastened to find Anzu.

He did, finding her with a girl about their age with blonde hair tied back with a yellow ribbon. It didn't take much effort to come up behind them quietly.

"Excuse me," he said, causing the blonde to squeak in alarm. "But I'm looking for some books on how to be a better boyfriend."

Anzu didn't miss a beat. "Did you check the _For Dummies_ section?" she asked.

"First place I looked. Howzit, Anzu?"

"Poorly. We're dusting. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to sneeze in a library?"

"It can't be that bad."

"Let me clarify: I don't do this nice mousy sneeze like Miho here."

"It's ladylike!" the blonde—who must have been Miho—insisted.

"Are you saying I'm not a lady?"

"Ladies aren't supposed to sound like cannons going off when they sneeze."

"Mrs. Klendaniel will be _so_ disappointed then," Yami said drily. "Now if we can move this along—Anzu, can I talk to you?"

"I don't know," Anzu said, sitting on the ladder. "Can you?"

"May I then?"

"I stand by my original question."

Oh. "I'm sorry for dropping off the face of the earth—how many times do I have to say that?"

"Until you stop dropping off the face of the earth and realize that there _are_ people who can and will help you."

"Right. Which brings me to why I'm here."

He looked pointedly at Miho.

"Me?" Miho asked, startled.

"Miho, go see if Miss Binder needs some help," Anzu said.

"Oh. I see. Fine, I know when I'm not wanted," Miho said, waltzing off with her nose in the air.

"She'll go hide in the next aisle over to try to hear what we're talking about," Anzu told Yami.

"I will not!" Miho called.

Yami shook his head—he didn't need that. "Miho, get back here."

She came back. "Yes?"

Yami held up a finger, doffed Horus, and tossed him up to the ladder steps above Anzu. The hat bounced once on the rung before morphing into Horus.

"Want to learn how to do that?" Yami asked.

"Yes yes oh goodness yes!" Miho said, bouncing up and down in excitement.

"Perfect. First, we're going to need that ribbon in your hair."

"My ribbon?"

"Horus was a hat."

"Okay," Miho said, pulling her ribbon out of her hair.

"Now hold it in your hands—both hands. Bundle it up, fold it, hold it….Okay, now picture it folding itself from a ribbon into a bird. Visualize every last moment, every last feather. Do you have it?"

"I think so."

"You'd better know so. Otherwise, you'll have a royal mess on your hands."

"How bad?" Anzu asked.

Yami grimaced. "Let's just say I went through a few hats trying to get Horus."

"You went through _two_ ," Horus protested.

"It was still a mess."

"And you were _ten_."

"It was still a mess."

"You were _ten?"_ Anzu asked.

"I was a precocious child. Are you still visualizing?" he asked Miho.

Miho's eyes were screwed shut in concentration. "Nnh-hnh."

"Now focus also on how it'll go back to being a ribbon. Go through the cycle."

"Right…."

Yami waited a few moments to ensure she was definitely picturing it. Considering she was so focused, he saw no issue in casting the spell himself—mostly so he wouldn't have to hear how he was somehow responsible for ruining her ribbon.

A tiny yellow head poked out from between her thumbs.

"AAA! It's so cute!" Miho exclaimed.

"Isn't it? You should go show Miss Binder," Yami suggested.

Miho wasted no time in running off.

"That was low," Anzu informed him.

"How do you figure?"

"You showed her that to get rid of her."

"And here we are. Your point?"

"I suppose I have none," she sighed, looking up at Horus, who peered down at her. "So why are you here?"

"Remember how you mentioned researching genealogy?"

"I'm surprised you remember."

"Ouch," Yami muttered, before pulling the picture out and waving it under Anzu's nose. She jerked her head back, peered at it, took it to more closely examine it.

"Is this a relative of yours?" she asked. "It has to be, with that hair."

"I'm thinking it is. I found that in our attic." With the help of an odd sphere of blue light, but he wasn't about to add that.

As he expected, she flipped the picture over, read the writing—

"Oh wow," she breathed.

"That was my reaction also."

"This is…not good," Anzu decided finally, holding the picture up so she could look at it and him at the same time. "You've got a similar facial structure—your features are a little sharper, though."

"Probably from Dad," Yami said. "Anyway, as you can probably guess, I'm in need of a little help, and when that happens, I tend to go and get my friends for that."

Anzu smiled slightly before handing the photo back to him. "Is that what I am now?"

"Girlfriends get precedence," Yami said, accepting and quickly hiding the photo.

"And how many would that be?"

"Just you. I'm heading to Skellington Manor tomorrow—you want to come?"

"Why there? Isn't it haunted or cursed or something?"

"It has to be something—otherwise it would have been torn down by now. But I figure if I want answers about Skellington, that's the only place to look; his window was taken out of the _hall,_ for Pete's sake, and that happens to _no one."_

"I wonder why," Anzu mused.

"That's one of the things I aim to find out. Are you with me?"

She seemed to give that some thought before looking up at him and smiling—somewhat grimly, he thought.

"Absolutely."


	61. Special Delivery

**Chapter 61, everybody, and happy Labor Day! Which for me at least was spent** ** _avoiding_** **labor….Which, according to the United States Department of Labor, is a national tribute to the labor movement in the USA….So I guess I'm celebrating it properly?...**

 **By the by, weather does cycle on a regular basis—so global warming is actually a load of bunk, for anyone who was worried about it.**

 **Movies this week are** ** _Kubo and the Two Strings_** **and the** ** _Back to the Future_** **trilogy:**

 **Mom said something today about maybe a** ** _Back to the Future Part IV,_** **which, in retrospect, might not be such a good idea—the three movies work very well together, and if there's anything** ** _Jurassic World_** **and the new** ** _Ghostbusters_** **movie tells us, it's that late-entry sequels just don't seem to fly as well. :\**

 ** _Kubo and the Two Strings_** **is a** ** _gorgeous_** **movie, although the plot may be easy to guess for some—this noisy kid next to us in the theater guessed one major plot point well before it occurred. Saying that, it's still great to see stop-motion in action, and it's cool to see how they put the giant skeleton together in the credits; Mom wondered why they were making it so big (it was easily taller than the crafters) until I mentioned the relative size next to the other characters, whom they'd also have to articulate. Fun stuff. :)**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Darn that technology! Perhaps it was. D: Yes indeed! And good question….**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Ah, thank you—this is true; my first convention was spent with my parents trying to convince them, if not that my love for fiction is** ** _normal_** **, that I'd have company in the asylum. ;) Yes, I got a lot of little goodies from there—mostly pins and tiny figurines. :D Ahaha, glad you liked it! I remember that movie with fondness too—early 2000s were the best as far as fiction was concerned….It is! Call Ghostbusters….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes….Thanks—and yes; we're already planning a trip for next year. :D I was wondering when that would be—have fun on your trip! :D**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air_** **© 1990 Susan Borowitz; Andy Borowitz; & Benny Medina (again, Mordecai quotes Geoffery)**

 ** _Scooby-Doo_** **© 2002 Raja Gosnell ("We're gonna die _quickly!")_**

 ** _Guardians of Ga'Hoole_** **© 2003 Kathryn Lasky (Punkie Night)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Fortunately or unfortunately, depending upon how one wanted to spin it, Teana found herself at the Lackadaisy Revue. With shoes on—Mordecai had stopped Viktor on the way and slipped them on her feet, saying he was tired of carrying them.

And considering she was facing backwards at the time, she felt she must make a real sight to Horatio when he opened the door.

"Kindly inform Mrs. May that her eight-o-clock is here," Mordecai said.

"Oh boy," Horatio muttered, before apparently ducking in and allowing Mordecai and Viktor to do the same. At least she wasn't bumped on the door frame.

There was a mirror by the door that angled into the main room of the building, so she could see Horatio talking to Mitzi, who turned to see them coming up to her. She was flying blind again by the time they left the hall, however.

"Special delivery," Mordecai said as Viktor semi-gently dumped her into a chair.

Teana quickly took the opportunity to sock him in the chest—which was very much like hitting a rock. "That was _not_ appreciated!"

"On both sides," Viktor muttered, rubbing his knees. "Was like carrying sack of potatoes for miles."

"Hey!"

Viktor waved her off, prompting her to turn to face the rest of the group in a huff. At least Mitzi had her face buried in her hands.

"Mordecai, honey," Mitzi said finally, taking her hands off her face and patting him on his hands. "When I ask you to pick someone up for an appointment, _that does not mean kidnap them."_

"I missed _Masterpiece Theatre_ for this," Mordecai said, miffed.

"That doesn't come on until nine."

"This was still a waste of my time."

And with that, he turned on his heel and left.

Mitzi buried her face in her hands again. "Oh, I should have waited until Rocky came back."

"I'm not sure I would have preferred Rocky," Teana said.

"He wouldn't have slung you over his shoulder like some oaf," Mitzi said, progressing to rubbing her temples. "He would have tried to recite poetry until you relented, but he wouldn't have treated you like a sack of potatoes."

"I'm not appreciating the references I'm getting here."

Mitzi waved off the complaints, indicating the room in doing so. "Well, the idea was for you to be here before the crowd so you could see the floor and we could discuss things like civilized folk. Obviously, somewhere along the line that fell apart."

"And now the whole town will talk."

"Only if the band's drunken act isn't sufficiently noteworthy."

"I'm not feeling mollified."

"Understandable. At least have some dinner on the house."

"Does it have to be _this_ house? And does your husband know his employers manhandle people?"

"Yes, and yes—that's part of the hiring process." Mitzi waved a waiter over and took a menu from him, handing it over to Teana. "Well, my plan of pitching the job to you has fallen through, I feel—and unlike Yami, I know when to back off and give a person breathing room."

Teana arched an eyebrow. "Is that still on the betting board?"

"Top-ticket item."

Teana shoved the menu aside. "You know, I liked my life a lot better _before_ I ran into a crazy Magician and was introduced to his friends."

"I'm sure it was quieter," Mitzi agreed. "But getting to know you has revealed some interesting surprises. Mordecai was a little surprised to learn that you and he had been passing each other by for years—he thinks that means he somehow wasn't as perceptive as he should have been."

"I do not!" Mordecai called over.

"It just goes to show that sometimes we don't pay attention to what's in front of us," Mitzi said, shrugging.

"Uh huh," Teana said. "Can I go now?"

"See, that's what we in the business like to call _missing the point."_

"And what _is_ the point, pray tell?"

Mitzi made a face that—if Teana didn't know better—looked very much like a pout.

"My point is," Mitzi stressed. "What are you doing wasting your talent by busing tables and checking coats?"

"Why is it anyone else's business?"

Mitzi put her chin on her folded hands. "Do you know how Atlas and I met?"

Teana was thrown by the sudden change of topic. "Uh, no…."

"I was singing with the band—Zib and the others—in this little dive by the Great River. Atlas hears me, gives me these," she said, fingering her pearls. "And says that talent like ours ought to be presented in something much better than some smelly dive." She looked up from her pearls to stare Teana straight in the eye. "Talent like yours ought to be presented in something much better than some smelly dive."

"Not everyone wants recognition," Teana pointed out.

"Then those people live an unfulfilled life. It's better to reach for the stars and fail than keep grubbing along hoping for a peaceful life."

"And it's your job to tell me to get a better job?"

"You're absolutely right," Mitzi said, smiling. "It's not my place to tell you how to live your life. It's no one's place to tell you how to live your life—except, of course, the One who _gave_ you your life and talent, and I think I recall reading how He doesn't appreciate wasted talent."

Teana bit the inside of her cheek.

"I can't argue with that," she said finally.

"So we're in accord, finally."

"No we're not—I just can't argue with that."

"Will you take the job?"

"If I say no you'll just argue the point until I say yes—it's not like I have a choice."

"There's always a choice, honey—you could pull up stakes now and move. Find a place where no one has ever heard of Yami Skellington. Incidentally, if you _do_ find such a place, let us know—it's one of the older items on the board."

Teana stared at her.

"Yami is one of those well-travelled people," Mitzi clarified.

"I don't like going into anything where I'm coerced into it," Teana said.

"But you'll work for two separate people who have made Yami lose his temper twice—which, by the by, _is_ something, considering how level-headed he usually is. You've got him chasing his own tailcoats, and we his friends have no wish for that to end—it's too entertaining."

"Some friends."

"It makes me wonder what caliber his enemies must be," Mitzi said airily—and yet it still made Teana a little queasy to think about it.

Mitzi reached over and patted her hand.

"Give me one night," she insisted. "If after one night you're not satisfied, then I'll drop the whole thing and we can pretend this never happened."

"Can I get that in writing?" Teana asked.

"Regrettably, no—smooth operations require that the bare minimum be kept in writing. But a handshake works well enough for the men, so how about that?"

Teana sighed, looking at Mitzi's hand.

"I guess," she said finally, shaking Mitzi's hand. "Just not tonight."

"Understandable," Mitzi said. "Fortunately, Atlas and Rocky come back tomorrow—perhaps you'll find Rocky's presence more tolerable."

"One can only hope."

"Indeed. Now order some dinner—I have to do _something_ to make up for this evening, and gossip over food seem the best way to do that."

Teana managed not to roll her eyes at that.

*/*\\*

Yami's next course of action was to find the rest of his friends.

As it turned out, that didn't take very long—they were standing in front of an announcement board, muttering angrily amongst themselves.

"Let me guess," Yami said. "More fun exploding stuff has been banned."

"Pretty close," Kels said.

"Look at this. _Look at this!"_ Jonouchi declared angrily, jabbing his finger against a large notice on the board. "They cancelled Punkie Night!"

"What?" Yami asked, maneuvering to better see the board—yes indeed, there it was, in large print: _Punkie Night cancelled…._

 _"'Due to inclement weather!'"_ Jonouchi practically howled. "What kind of lame excuse is _that!?"_

"It _has_ been awfully warm for September," Yami mused.

"Chaos Weather," Kels said automatically.

"Yeah, but that happens," Honda pointed out. "Weather cycles all the time; it's…what is it…El Nino or something like that."

"That's not _our fault!"_ Jonouchi insisted. "Why are _we_ being punished!?"

"Woah," Bakura noised, coming up behind them. "What did I miss?"

"They cancelled Punkie Night and Jo's pitching a fit," Kels said.

"They cancelled Punkie Night?"

"'Due to inclement weather.' Hence the fit being pitched."

"Fortunately, I have a nice distraction to mollify the fit-pitcher," Yami declared calmly. "I'm going to Skellington Manor tomorrow—who wants to come?"

 _That_ succeeded in generating a very strong silence amongst his friends as they stared in bafflement at him.

"You want to do _what?_ " Jonouchi asked.

"Did I stutter?"

"No," Kels said, exchanging glances with Bakura. "But—why?"

"As it turns out, there's some interesting things afoot up there."

"How so?"

Yami showed them the photo, tried to stay straight-faced as they crowded around it. "I found this in our attic," he explained. "I want to go to Skellington Manor and see if there's any explanations, clues, or anything to say if we're really…."

"Related?" Honda asked, incredulously.

"You had a photo of Yami Skellington in your attic?" Bakura asked, equally floored.

"Maybe, and yes," Yami said patiently.

Kels looked from the photo, to Yami, then back to the photo. "Well, if the hair's any indication, I'd say yeah, you are."

"I want to see," Jonouchi said, leaning over her.

"You can't take my word for it?"

"Well, yeah," Jonouchi said, taking the photo away from her. "But there's no photos of this guy—his window was even taken out of the Hall, and _nobody_ does _that_!"

"No photos, no documentation, nothing but what the Administrators have said," Yami said quietly. "And yet there sat a photo in our attic. Why?"

"Maybe your dad ordered it all taken down," Honda posed. When Yami shot him an incredulous look: "Think about it—he's Head Mage. Now think of how people would have treated you and Yuki and your mom if they knew."

Yami had to concede that point, although it did make him wonder. Why would his father run the risk of such a marriage? But then again, it wasn't like it was a unique thing—his elder brother _did_ marry a Hippies' daughter after knowing her for one day.

Or maybe he didn't know.

 _That_ was a little scary—why would his mother hide that sort of information?

Well, reflecting on it, maybe because of precisely what Honda said—Yami Skellington had never had children, but his sisters had passed on the familial blood. There was definitely a risk of magic of his level rising up in the family tree—

Yami's mouth twitched.

Well, that explained it. That explained it _all_. The odd looks, having his hair kept short, how magic just came to him with ease—it was the Skellington blood in him. That could be a very bad thing.

Which was why it was so important that he learn more—the idea that his grief was the fault of the Boogie-Mage…that _he_ was _related_ to the Boogie-Mage…and that he could turn _out_ like the Boogie-Mage….

He needed to know.

"Meet me by the Stone Stairs tomorrow," Yami declared. "I'm going to Skellington Manor tomorrow, no ifs ands or buts."

And with that, he took the photo back, turned on his heels, and left.

"We're all going to die," he heard Kels declare behind him.

"Think positive," Honda said.

"We're all going to die _quickly_ ," Jonouchi posed.

It took all of Yami's self-control not to put his face in his hands right then and there.


	62. Changing Winds

**Chapter 62, everyone! Sorry for the delay on this one, but the past couple of weeks have been a little busy—on the plus side, I might actually be done with my concept paper in the near future! :D Again, sorry for the delay, and we'll be back to our regularly scheduled** ** _Magicians' Realm_** **starting next week.**

 **For the record, Rocky's song in this is made-up, although set to the tune of the "My twitchy witchy girl" song that the dad sings in** ** _Coraline._** **And most likely, he knocked out "Shave and a Haircut" on Teana's door. :) Also, Rocky is surprisingly hard to write for….**

 **In other news, apologies to those who feel that a shotgun is a poor response to animals snatching chickens—my family is old-fashioned that way, and it's hard to feel sorry for the varmints in question when it's a favorite pet chicken that they killed. The gun described is the same as one my father owns, which he has been slowly teaching me to shoot with.**

 **One more thing! To hail someone by calling out "Ho!" comes from the Book of Ruth in the Bible** **—first time we covered that in Bible class at my first college, I and my friends greeted each other with that for a month or so. :)**

 **Movie this week is** ** _Treasure Planet_** **—which, like** ** _Atlantis: the Lost Empire_** **, was absolutely brilliant and completely underrated (quietly hoping they show up in my** ** _Dream Drop Distance_** **playthrough…).**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Well…some people prefer a safe life, I suppose….Haha, glad you liked that—I got it from my Mom, actually, as she's the one who says it (where does it pop up in Abridged?). Yes, get going boys!**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes, I suppose….Good luck with that—if not, I'll hear from you then. :)**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Yes, Mitzi's surprisingly good at that—and she definitely is; if you read Mitzi's source material,** ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **, you'll find she's the same way there (I think she's only honestly lost her cool once in the span of the whole comic). In Teana's defense, it's kind of hard to argue with Mitzi—mostly because she makes sense. AAA, NO! And…probably. Unfortunately, I can—my first college (which did a lot to inspire the Administrators) liked to pretend that Halloween didn't exist, to the point that if you wore Halloween-associated colors on that day, you'd get into trouble. :\ And most likely….Hmm, must brainstorm….**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment (Screechers and…something else…)**

 _ **The Sorcerer's Apprentice**_ **© 2010 Jon Turteltaub**

 ** _Wild America_** **© 1997 William Dear (Jonouchi, Honda, and that anthology book)**

 ** _The Lone Ranger_** **© 2013 Gore Verbinski (the reference to the wildlife noise stopping—which, in turn, is a reference to another movie)**

 ** _Home Improvement_ © 1991 Carmen Fienstra, David McFadzean,  & Matt Williams (the reference to Al and the hardware store)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

As promised, the next night saw a knock on her door. This time, however, Teana was ready.

The knocking remained persistent, however; although the fact that it was knocking out a familiar tune told her that it wasn't Mordecai, at least. And, as it wasn't going away anytime soon, she resigned herself to tugging her nightstand away from the door, unlocking it, and opening it.

She was greeted by a young man with untidy brown hair and a blue zoot suit—and a wide grin and notable eyebrows. _Rapscallion_ leapt to her mind, although she wasn't sure why.

"Hi!" the man greeted. "Miss M sent me over here—"

"Let me guess: you must be Rocky," Teana interrupted.

"Yes ma'am! I'm here to escort you to the Lackadaisy Revue—you know, in case of rapacious ransacking rapscallions or malevolent marauding malcontents. That sort of thing."

So apparently her first instinct was pretty on the dot and there was a reason that odd word had jumped into her mind. "Wow, sounds dangerous. Maybe I should stay here then."

"Don't worry, you have me," Rocky said, holding up a violin case. "And my little friend."

"If that's the case, I'm definitely staying in."

"No no no—you'll disappoint Miss M, and we don't want Miss M disappointed. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth!"

"I don't think it'll be that bad."

"It will be—because then she'll be disappointed in _me,_ and I can't handle that. I'd have to drown myself in the Thesdell, or—or toss myself into the Ravine! Or procure some quality stuff for the Revue—that last one might be more productive, come to think of it…."

"It might. And you're making a scene there on the floor."

"I am? Oh." Rocky popped back up. "So you're coming, right?"

"Uh, no," Teana said, closing the door and then locking it for good measure.

"It's okay! Miss M said this might happen!" Rocky said, voice pitched to carry through the door. "Don't worry! I'll be here all night!"

"That's what concerns me," Teana muttered.

And then she heard plucking, and then the sound of a bow being drawn across a violin.

 _"My ghostly danseuse, you're truly a delight,"_ she heard Rocky sing. _"You glide across the dance floor as though it were made of ice. Your soul's a burning flame that flickers in the night, your dancing little spirit provides a lovely light. Your every move and measure is grace beyond compare; the Philistine masses cannot help but stop and stare. Your glance is but a vision, your breath is but a song, I must get up and after, I have to dance along. But a dance with you my darling, is but a brief and fleeting time; so engrave this on my tombstone, this my danseur's rhyme."_

Teana had opened the door and was watching him in spite of herself. When he finished: "That's very nice."

"Thank you! I made it up on the spot!" Rocky said, beaming before switching over to consternated. "Actually, I need to write that down…hold this," he said suddenly, shoving the violin and bow at her. She took the instrument, watched as he dug in his pockets for a pencil and notepad and frantically started scribbling. "Don't talk to me right now, I have to remember what I said."

Teana nodded and waited until he finished and looked over the notepad again, scratching the side of his face with the eraser as he considered what he wrote.

"Well, it's a little rough, but I'm sure I could get it going pretty well. _Ghost dancers,_ " he muttered, writing something else before pocketing it. "Okay, I'll take my little friend back now."

"So there actually _was_ a violin in that case," Teana observed, handing it back to him.

"Yeah," he said, putting it away. "If you were expecting a gun, that's more my cousin's forte. Although to be honest, he looks like _he_ ought to be the one playing violin; that's what makes it a good sell," he added, standing back up. "So! Are you ready to go?"

"Go?"

"To the Revue. Remember, the thing with Miss M, about you dancing?"

"I'm still not feeling it."

"Then maybe I ought to compose an inspiring poem for you. Hold on a minute…."

"Let me get my shoes," Teana sighed.

*/*\\*

Kels climbed into the tree stand, careful not to jostle the shotgun as she did so.

Her birds were put up, but she had spotted tracks near the fence, the distinctive five-fingered paw that belonged to what was collectively known as _varmints_. Spreading hair from humans and dogs hadn't worked—it was time for drastic measures.

Granted, it would be a mite lonely without her father to talk to, but he wouldn't be in for another fifteen minutes or so, and she needed to be out _now_ , when it was twilight and the varmints were waking up. Although to be honest, the time it was getting dark now was the only indication that it was September and not high summer—man, it was hot.

She tugged at the collar of her shirt and tried not to think about what the old-timers said unseasonably hot weather signified—Chaos Weather. The Chaos had disappeared because the climes became too cool for them, some theorized—warmer weather meant the Chaos were coming back.

She shoved that from her mind, and squashed the wish that she had brought a book to read. Reading a book meant she might miss something sneaking through the underbrush, and she didn't want that.

She checked her pocket watch—ten minutes until she had company.

Unfortunately, the relative quiet meant she had plenty of time to reflect on what Yami had said earlier. Related to Skellington, she mused as the cicadas and frogs sang. That…wasn't good. She tried to reflect on what she had heard previously about Skellington, found that she came up woefully short—no one ever talked about him, except in frightened, hushed tones. Skellington was a literal spook, a boogieman cooked up to scare the little kids and show that the Administrators weren't to be questioned.

She managed to smother her scoff in time—the Administrators. Right. The same ones who regulated everything and took away books and held Yami back a year.

She wondered if they knew.

She barely suppressed her sigh as she scanned the brush for furry interlopers. It was starting to get dark, truly dark, but the air wasn't getting any cooler—it just laid like a hot scratchy blanket on the ground. She'd fight a cougar cat for a breeze—no, scratch that, she didn't want to see a cougar cat around here; she wasn't confident in her ability to kill it if it came after her or her birds.

She focused on breathing as she scanned the brush again, checked her watch—seven minutes until she had company. Was her watch dead or something? No, no, there went the second hand, and at its usual pace.

She chalked it up to too much going on at the moment. Things were going sideways, she could sense it—she just couldn't quite see how.

Man, it was getting dark—she hated the forest at night, ever since Jonouchi and Honda had bought that horror anthology book from Blake's consignment shop. The one about the Screechers alone had left her sleepless for months, and scared stiff whenever she had to put her birds up—her parents had had to accompany her for about the same amount of time she had lacked sleep—

She jerked her head up—something was moving out there. Something human sized.

 _Probably Dad coming finally,_ she thought—except her throat caught and she was suddenly unable to breathe. No. She was just scaring herself—all those thoughts about Screechers and boogie-mages and Chaos Creatures had just wound her up. Put the gun down before you shoot your own father, and let him know you're up here.

Except…no.

It occurred to her what was wrong—the frogs and cicadas had stopped, for one. Her Dad would have called out, for another.

And whatever that was out there, it was walking too soft, light, and cautious to be her father.

She very, very carefully pulled the bolt back on the shotgun. Jonouchi and Honda had been a little disappointed when she had showed it to them, having expected the type that cracked open or were pump-action—but bolt action was quite useful, especially when preparing to shoot something without letting it know you were about to shoot it.

She shouldered the gun, sighted down it, kept her ears trained—somewhere off her eleven there….

It stopped.

So did her heart.

She knew whatever it was had spotted her.

It took her eyes a few moments to adjust to the growing gloom, but she could very clearly see a tall humanoid figure—her heart stuttered as her mind went over all the horrors she had been reflecting on.

But…no….It was just some tall lanky guy in a straw hat and backpack.

With spiky hair and yellow irises that were visible in the dark.

Hot weather—Chaos Weather.

Or worse.

But suddenly the guy bolted, turning tail and running away through the brush and away from her. She breathed a temporary sigh of relief—that had not been fun.

And now she'd be needing an escort to her birds again.

"Ho!"

She glanced away from where the guy had disappeared to see her father coming up the way, lantern in one hand, small basket in the other, and a shotgun slung on his elbow.

Kels struck her chest a few times to get her heart to restart—oh man….

Had that just happened?

"Hey," she said, knocking the rope ladder down so he could climb up—he handed her his gun butt first; she set it next to hers before reaching down for the lantern. "Took you long enough—it was creepy out here by myself."

"Sorry," her dad said, climbing up. "Al at the hardware store wanted to talk."

"You should have told him you had left your daughter up a tree."

"I told them we were dealing with varmints," her dad said, reaching the platform and sitting down. She waited until he was comfortable before handing his gun to him. "I got a lot of suggestions on how best to deal with them."

"Any of them good?"

Her father checked his gun to make sure it was loaded. "None like this."

She nodded, settled back against the tree before flipping the basket open; a thermos of what she hoped was lemonade or tea, something cold please, and a couple of sandwiches.

She caught a flash of a blue light out of the corner of her eye, looked up sharply, looked around—

A light, cool breeze ruffled her bangs—ah, finally.

"Storm's coming," her father said.

Somehow, that simple statement worried her to no end.


	63. Dancing Around

**Chapter 63, everybody, and back to our regularly scheduled program. Let's not do that again….**

 **Apologies to single fathers or those who equally balance out child-rearing responsibilities—what is written here comes from experience with having a mom stay at home and a father go to work, and therefore may not be wholly accurate to parenthood as a whole. Although to be fair to my parents, my Dad has said on more than one occasion that if he were the one who stayed home with us kids, we would have been long dead. D: Saying that, it's a tad unfair that fathers are generally portrayed as less capable than mothers** **—in Greg's case here, it's because his job is eating up most of his attention right now, not from some deep-seated parental failing.**

 **"** **Tennessee Waltz Surprise" and "Irish Stew" are real line dances, by the way, which I learned from my mom. :)**

 **Movie this week is** ** _Homeward Bound_** **—never fails to make me cry, even though I've got that movie memorized. Happy tears, though…and excellent music. Bruce Broughton made my childhood's soundtrack. :D**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Ah, thank you—sorry for that little delay. And yes, but first, we have to wrap this up—next week we'll be getting there. Yeah…for a two-week delay, there needed to be a better chapter. :\ There's a point to it though, honest. Ah…I'll have to look that one up.**

 **References:**

 _ **Yu-Gi-Oh!**_ **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 _ **The Nightmare Before Christmas**_ **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 _ **Dharma and Greg**_ **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 _ **Skulduggery Pleasant**_ **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 _ **Lackadaisy Cats**_ **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say, pal, my ears are burning!")**

 _ **Guardians of Ga'Hoole**_ **© 2003 Kathryn Lasky (Punkie Night)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

"Teana, honey! You made it! Apparently Rocky was the right pick for this after all!"

"Rocky is…persistent," Teana decided to say, figuring it for the most diplomatic term.

"That's one way to put it," Mitzi May agreed. "Thank you Rocky, you did wonderfully."

"I did good?" Rocky asked, beaming.

"Yes, you did passably," Mitzi said quickly, waving him off. "Now go warm up."

"I have to be careful with complimenting him," Mitzi told Teana as Rocky dashed off. "If I give him too much of a compliment, he beams so much it runs the risk of destroying the place."

"Surely you exaggerate," Teana said.

"I wish I were. And by the way, Mordecai, this is how you bring a person when their presence is requested."

"No," Mordecai said, not breaking stride as he passed them. "This is how _you_ want a person to be when _you_ request them."

"I should really talk to Atlas about that," Mitzi said, assuming a pensive stance before ushering Teana along. "But moving on; the job offer, as I said before, is basically to warm up the floor. In effect, I want you to be the first one dancing to encourage others to do so as well. If customers dance, they work up an appetite for food and drink, both of which we provide for a small fee. You understand how this works."

"I work them so you can work their wallets," Teana summarized.

"An indelicate way to put it, but that's the general scope of it. You get a flat fee per dance done, a small percentage of the final nightly tally, and free food and drink. Just don't make it exclusively champagne and caviar—we _do_ want to stay in the black."

"And _why_ is this worth money to you?"

"Strange thing about the human psychology," Mitzi said, a hand up to her mouth as though she were telling Teana a secret. "No one ever wants to be the first one on the floor. I don't know, so don't ask me why, but that's how we are. You, being the fiery persona I believe you to be, wouldn't be so, and would therefore break the ice for the customers."

"Ah, except I don't like dancing in front of people."

"Don't worry, we have a cure for that."

"But would my liver survive the cure?"

"I hear livers are overrated anyway."

"You haven't been talking to Marik, have you?"

"Oh, so you've made the pleasure of his acquaintance."

"Not the phrase I'd use."

"Granted, if Marik was involved, it was probably through a haze of booze," Mitzi agreed, looking out over the dance floor. It was a nice number, warm honey-toned woods polished to within an inch of its life before being waxed to within an inch of its life. "So, do we have an accord?"

Teana tested her foot on the floor—enough give that she could slide and not worry about pitching or turning without twisting her foot, but enough grab that she wouldn't go falling right on her back from trying to walk.

"I really don't know," Teana said finally.

"If it makes you feel any better, I could fire you at the end of the month," Mitzi offered.

"I'm not sure that sweetens the deal," Teana said, considering. It was a nice floor and she'd have free food and dancing. Aside from the company, she wasn't sure what else she could complain about—and she doubted the company would be changing anytime soon.

"All right— _you_ can quit at the end of the month," Mitzi said.

Teana surprised herself by nodding. "All right, I guess I'll give it a whirl."

"Splendid! You start tonight."

"Wait, what?" Teana fairly squawked, turning to look at Mitzi, already sashaying off. "But—I'm not dressed up for this!"

"That's the beauty of it, dear," Mitzi tossed over her shoulder. "When the peacocks who dressed up for show see you dancing, they won't be able to resist getting on the floor. And you should go get something to eat before you start."

Teana made a face before walking in the direction Mitzi indicated, feeling a mite used without being all too certain how.

*\\*/*

"I take it today wasn't a good one."

"Not even remotely," Greg said, depositing his briefcase and looking at the clock—nearly ten at night. "It took all day to convince the Administrators that cancelling all the holidays this month was a _bad thing_ —"

"Wait, what?" Jenna interrupted. She had been taking a plate out of the oven for him, but stopped at that declaration.

"I've been informed," Greg said, sitting down at the kitchen table. "That 'five holidays in one month is _excessive'_ —so the Administrators have been trying to parse down the number of holidays."

"There are _not_ that many holidays in October!" Jenna protested, all but throwing down his dinner in her haste to throw her hands up in disgust. "It's just Punkie Night and the harvest festival and Balefire Night and Halloween—"

"Don't forget Mischief Night—that makes five."

" _Please_ tell me you put a stop to this."

"I put a temporary stop to this," Greg assured her, taking a moment of silence over his food before continuing. "They agreed to some less excessive celebrating, and Ravel's going to go do some surveys to see how everyone reacts to that—but Punkie Night is cancelled; I wasn't fast enough to stop that one."

"But I _like_ Punkie Night," Jenna protested, sitting down.

"You wouldn't like it as much if you were on the organizing end of it."

"Did it ever occur to you to hire me on for that?"

"I'd have been accused of nepotism—and trust me, the Administration Building is the _last_ place _you_ want to be."

"On that topic, did you ever talk to Yami about that?"

Oi. Greg kneaded his head. "No. I haven't had the time. I'll get to it, honest."

"When, precisely? Yami's been entertaining himself with _something_ , but he won't say what—and don't think for a minute I trust him with idle hands."

"What is he doing?"

"I don't really know—he's out of the house most days with Yuki in tow."

"Probably nothing to worry about."

"Please—I'm a mother: worrying is in the job description, right under _make sure child survives to adulthood."_

"You got a job description? How come I never got one?"

"Because women naturally accept that the fathers are probably going to be an extra kid anyway," Jenna said, pouring some warm tea into a mug and taking a sip.

"Now see, that's not fair; husbands contribute to the raising of children too."

"Then be more involved and _talk to him._ "

"Right. I'll get right on it. Where is he?"

"In bed, genius."

"Oh. I'll talk to him tomorrow then, after work," Greg decided.

"I'll hold you to that," Jenna said, pouring him a mug and handing it to him.

"May nothing go wrong between now and then," he said, toasting her.

"May Murphy's Law not come into effect," she returned, clinking her mug against his.

"Pessimist."

"It's part of the job description."

"I want to see a copy of this job description."

"You can't," she said, taking another sip of her tea. "It's passed down from mother to daughter verbally; writing it down runs the risk of it falling into the wrong hands."

"Like whose?"

"Men's."

"And that's a bad thing because?"

"Because then they might think they can actually raise children on their own."

"And they can't?"

"Do you want me to make a list?"

"Yes, the jury requires evidence."

A few hours later, he unfortunately had to concede her point—but only because he had honestly lost track of Yami for a few hours once.

But, as he protested, he was getting better.

Now to just get around to figuring out how to _tell_ Yami what needed to be told.

*/*\\*

"I'm having second thoughts about this."

"That's to be expected," Mitzi said, waving her off. "Second thoughts always happen about this time. You just need to go forward and do it anyway."

"Are you ready?" Rocky asked, bounding over to the edge of the stage. "I've been working on my new piece—maybe we'll get a solo act together."

"That makes no sense," Teana pointed out.

"Neither does hesitating," Mitzi pointed out. "Don't worry about it; you did fine when you danced a little as the band was warming up. Just go with it."

"There are more people here now."

"I don't suppose telling you to pretend they're all in their underwear will work."

"That might actually make it worse."

"You know what Max told me?" Rocky interposed.

"I don't care what Max told you," Teana said, feeling an inkling of irritation at the thought of the cigar-smoking Magician.

"We don't either," one of the other band players, Zib, called.

"Max said that all the world's a stage," Rocky said, undeterred. "And the world ends at the stage lights. Now in your case, it'd be the dance floor, so all the world's a dance floor, and your world ends at the dance floor's edge. Does that make sense?"

"Strangely enough, it does," Mitzi said, turning back to Teana. "It's a Zen thing; if it's not on the floor, don't worry about it."

"I think I might throw up," Teana said.

"So long as it's not on the dance floor, we're fine," Mitzi said, steering her to the floor's edge. "Start playing, Zib."

The music started, and Teana could see some people glance up but not get up. The idea of going out there became more repulsive by the second.

Mitzi patted her shoulder. "It's like jumping into the river after spring thaw," Mitzi said. "The first jump is a shock, but it gets easier as time goes on."

"Funnily enough, casting myself into the river sounds like a good idea at this point," Teana said.

"Dance first, then you can," Mitzi said, giving her a gentle shove. Teana stepped out, stayed in the corner, looked at Mitzi—Mitzi was making encouraging motions with her hands.

"Loosen up a little!" Mitzi called, just loud enough for Teana to hear. Teana did so, surprised to find that she managed to survive the first number.

"Okay!" Rocky called when the band finished. "Who's up for some Irish Stew?"

Teana wondered if that was the dinner special before Rocky jumped off the stage to land in front of her.

"Follow my lead," he said, before starting a boisterous number on the violin—which the band quickly followed.

And then Teana was treated to the fact that Rocky was singing, dancing, and playing a violin all at the same time—Teana figured it was the least she could do to try to follow the dancing act.

When they finished, Teana was surprised to find that other people were on the floor now. Oh good, job done. Time to go.

"Rocky, get back on the stage!" Zib called, ushering the young man back up onto the stage. "Okay, now that we've got you worked up, how about a little something to catch your breath with?"

'Tennessee Waltz Surprise' was played next, and Teana briefly flirted with staying long enough to dance it, because she liked it—

"Hi!"

"Hi," she said reflexively, before realizing that there was a tall someone standing before her—crane her neck; Yami Skellington.

"May I have this dance?" he asked, indicating the floor.

"Did you set this up?"

"I…don't follow."

"Yes you do, dear," Mitzi said, passing them. "I've seen you dance."

"Mitzi offered me a job," Teana said, pointing. "Did you have anything to do with this?"

"Mitzi offered you a job?" Yami echoed. "That's great!"

"Did you answer the question?"

"No," Yami said, bowing. "But seeing as how everything's my fault anyway, I just see fit to go with it. Now that you've blamed me for this, can I have this dance?"

Teana sighed, giving that some thought. "I suppose so."

And so they danced, and in short order Teana was surprised to find that the night was over.

Even more that she actually liked the whole event.

It was a scary thought, she reflected as she lightly bopped the daffodils before going to bed, but she may have finally found a job she liked.


	64. Skellington Manor

**Chapter 64, everybody! Which took a little debating on my part as to whether to cut it short or let it run long….In the end, I decided to let it run long, mostly as a bonus for you all for having to wait again—with good reason this time though, seeing as I was on vacation in the Outer Banks with spotty Internet and a storm bearing down on us….Don't worry, we fled back home from Hurricane Matthew with no more casualties than a boat trailer tire (which some nice police helped my parents fix in pouring rain and terrible traffic), and my unfortunate copy of** ** _Now and Forever: Somewhere a Band is Playing._** **Hopefully, it's salvageable (it's** ** _still_** **soaking wet after a day of trying to dry it)—if not, Barnes and Noble is getting another order. :\**

 **Now that I've got all that out of the way—welcome to one of the first portions of this story that I ever wrote, all the way back in early 2009 (probably, seeing as I started writing this in my spare time at college and had returned to my vague idea of Yami as a magician late 2008, after watching** ** _The Princess and the Frog_** **and feeling inspired). As such, this section is a little rougher and more subjected to band-aids, mostly because I didn't think scrapping it completely and rewriting the section would help; like the reference to the Giant Mountains earlier in the story, this chapter had a character that was eventually dummied out of the story for an assortment of reasons, although she may show up in passing later—fortunately, the edit gives us the potential for some Honda/Miho moments, which might end with idiot male activity. :)**

 **Jonouchi and Kels quote the Bill Cosby skit "Driving in San Franscisco," which I got from the college friend who introduced me to** ** _Doctor Who_** **(which also makes a brief appearance). There's also a reference to a Janet Evanovich book, but I can't remember which one. :\**

 **Jonouchi also quotes from the Bible here, John 11:16—one has to marvel at the fatalist attitude of Thomas, although it may explain his actions later (yes,** ** _that_** **Thomas). On an interesting side note, John Chapter 11 also holds the shortest verse in the Bible, John 11:35: "Jesus wept."**

 **We also get a Biblical quote from Yami, Matthew 7:14, which should be rather familiar to most, as it's often quoted (and is most likely the source of the phrase "stay on the straight and narrow").**

 **Movie this week is** ** _Terminator 2: Judgment Day_** **—love a movie where we notice something new even after a few viewings; for example, that the mercury-terminator had three arms when flying the helicopter. *~***

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes indeed—but Mitzi** ** _does_** **have experience with herding cats, so….Yes! finally! And just a tad….**

 **FicReader, thanks for the reviews! Yes! I have returned! Sorry about that—but thank you for understanding. :) Ah, thank you, I'm glad you like Rocky's poem—the irony of that is that I used to hate writing poetry for school, and now that I don't have to, I seem to have developed some talent for it (why, poems, why?). It's also vaguely appropriate for later in the story….Firearms are definitely nothing to mess with—I grew up with guns in the house, and as an aside to all those "aah you had guns in a house with a child!" people, they were kept away from me and I was kept away from them and raised with a healthy respect for them; I always try to show the characters handling guns safely too (sorry if that comes off a little weird—I'm just a little tired of everyone blaming guns when it's an inanimate object). Saying that, paintball guns are definitely a fun way to get acquainted with the notion of firearms in a non-lethal setting, so I recommend trying that—saying _that,_ don't give them to college girls (as I found out, unfortunately). And thank you for appreciating my trying to head off any negativity at the pass. :) Mom and I may rib Dad a lot, but he's definitely an important member of our family and nothing like the stereotypes as seen on TV. Saying ****_that_** **, Mom has repeatedly told me that Dad is one of the good ones. And yes, that time period still had fathers as being primarily breadwinners and not entirely concerned with the going-ons at home ("I told you to play catch with the boy!"). Yes, finally! Aha, and yes—never went to a dance, but again, it's something I see on TV, and they have to get it from** ** _somewhere_** **….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Welcome back! Don't worry about it—service has been a little spotty over here (but I should be fixing that soon, considering we're getting into that time of year that has us buttoned up in the house most of the time…bleh).**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _Doctor Who_** **© 1963 Sydney Newman; C.E. Webber, & Donald Wilson (yes, I made a Doctor Who reference—thank my college friend, because I've never seen a single episode :\ Although I _did_ read a script for college...)**

 ** _Jurassic Park_ © 1993 Steven Spielberg (the scene with Alan and the fence** **—never fails to get a laugh out of my family :))**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Almost a month had passed, and Teana was having problems.

"Oh dear," Mitzi said, noting her sighing at her soup. "What is it, dear? Did a fly get in there?"

"What?" Teana asked. "No, it's not that—I'm losing my apartment."

"Well you should have said something—I'd have given you a raise if that were the case."

"It's not a money issue—it's a building issue. My landlord has to close down the apartment to do repairs—everyone living there has to find other lodging." David one flight down already had—she had found it hilarious that his mode of transportation had been a blue box resembling a telephone booth, but then again, she had always suspected him of being a Magician.

"Oh dear me," Mitzi said, sitting down. "And what plans do you have for this displacement?"

Teana was surprised at the fact that she had become rather friendly with the co-proprietor of the Lackadaisy Revue during her short tenure (which had now officially gone past the time when Mitzi said she could quit). Teana felt that maybe it was Mitzi's aloof behavior—it didn't feel like she was trying, which made the person she was talking to want to try harder, for some reason. Teana had yet to puzzle it out fully.

"I…don't know," Teana said, which wasn't fully the truth, nor was it fully a lie—she had _some_ idea of what to do, but it involved swallowing her pride, and she wasn't fully ready for that yet.

Mitzi pondered this, and then unfortunately hit right upon what was bothering Teana.

"Well, I suppose if you ask Yami nicely enough, he could put you up at his place; he definitely has the room," Mitzi said.

Ah, and there was the rub—Teana didn't want to do that. Not after Yami had persisted and persisted only to finally, recently, drop it.

"Was that your only suggestion?" she asked finally.

"Well, you could contemplate the hobo life," Mitzi pointed out. "But I have it on good authority that it isn't the best of lives to lead. Neither is the wandering troubadour lifestyle—too rough on a person."

Teana buried her face in her hands; great.

Mitzi patted her on the shoulder as she stood up.

"Send him a letter," she consoled. "You can use the stationary in my office and send it out with the morning mail. Worst case scenario is he says no."

Watching Mitzi sashay off, it occurred to Teana that yes, that was the worst case scenario.

And it bugged her that it was so.

*/*\\*

"I don't think this is a good idea."

"What do you mean?" Yami asked. "You were all for this yesterday when I told you."

"Yes, well, I've had all last night to think about it." Kels replied.

"So what's wrong with it?"

"Well, now that we know you're related to Yami Skellington, let me point a few things out to you." she started ticking them off on her fingers. "One, almost everyone he knew was sentenced to die horrible deaths. I don't like you that much. Two, Skellington himself was tortured both physically and mentally before he died. _For several days_. Plus, his powers, both physically and magically, were bound, so he couldn't do a thing that way. Third, do you know what happened to him? He was burned at the stake, and when he was dead, his bones were banished to an alternate dimension." Here Yami and Bakura, who had joined them while she was talking, shuddered. Bakura crossed himself. "See? You know what that means. You die that way they don't let you into Heaven." They stopped in front of Jonouchi, who was sitting on a wall reading his Sunday primer. "You'll go to see Saint Peter and he'll ask 'how'd you die?'"

"'Me and a Volkswagen drifted backwards into the bay.'" Jonouchi supplied.

Kels supplied the appropriate response with an air of longsuffering. "And that's not what I'm talking about," she added.

"Then what are you talking about?" Jonouchi asked. He looked at Yami. "What's she talking about?"

"My plan from last night."

"Oh," Jonouchi said.

"What's going on?" Honda asked, walking up.

"Kels doesn't care for Yami's plan anymore."

"Neither do I," Honda said, shrugging his shoulders.

"What?" Jonouchi asked, staring at Honda with disbelief. "Why not?"

"Isn't Skellington Manor supposed to be booby-trapped? Black lightning or something like that?"

"Geesh," Jonouchi said. He turned to Yami. "Don't worry; I still got your back." He hesitated. "Is it really booby-trapped?"

"Probably," Yami said, shrugging his shoulders. "Now, if anyone has any doubts about this, then fine, don't come. I'm still going; and I'm going today."

Yami turned on his heel and walked off. He didn't really expect anyone to follow. After all, the threat of being incinerated was enough to stop just about anybody.

Well, almost everybody.

"What are you doing, Yuki?" Yami asked his little brother, who was trotting faithfully by his side.

"Following you," Yuki said. "You're not leaving me behind on this one; not at all."

"Why do you always follow me around?" Yami asked, a note of irritation in his voice.

"Because, you're my brother," Yuki stated, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Aren't I supposed to look up to you? I can't very well do that if I'm not with you."

This checked Yami a bit; he hadn't thought about it that way.

"Well," Yami said finally. "At least someone is following me to their doom."

The others were still standing where Yami had left them.

"What do you think?" Honda asked finally.

Jonouchi stood up and put his finger on his primer. "'Let us also go, that we may die with him.'" He walked off, following Yami.

Honda looked at Kels. "You can't really argue with that, can you?"

"No, unfortunately," Kels said. She led the rest down the street after Yami.

*\\*/*

Teana realized she was being silly.

She had already turned him down once, and not that long ago. What made her think that he'd say yes? _You already told me no. Make up your mind, crazy lady._

She rolled her eyes as she continued down the street. Yami wouldn't talk like that.

She turned the corner and walked over to her former apartment. Her landlord was busy loading his things into an old beater of an auto. He nodded when he saw her.

"Found anyplace yet?" he asked.

"I'm trying," she told him, trying to keep any edge out of her voice.

He dipped his head apologetically. "Good. You would have been the only one without someplace else otherwise. I'd uh…I'd have to delay my trip if that were the case."

"Trip? Where are you going?"

"I decided that if the Administration wants this building to their code, they can do it themselves. I'm moving."

"Isn't that a little sudden?"

"Not really. I have family over in Dais Run."

Teana sighed and looked up at her building. "Don't you have family you can go to?" he asked her.

"Not without hearing about it," Teana sighed. She lowered her head. "I guess I'd better keep hunting."

She turned to leave when her landlord exclaimed.

"Oh, before I forget—this came for you."

Teana turned around to see her landlord holding out an envelope. She accepted, glanced at the address, did a double-take, and then ripped the envelope open. She held the letter in shaking hands, biting her bottom lip nervously.

She was aware of her landlord watching her nervously, unsure about how she was acting. He jumped when she suddenly whooped with glee.

"Yes yes yes!" she sang, dancing in place.

"What what what?" he asked her.

"Small change of plans," she said, tapping him on the arm and hustling into the apartment. "I have to go pack!"

She left him with a bemused expression on his face. "It must have been some real good news in that letter," he muttered; she paused on the step to glance back before ripping a piece of paper off the envelope and scribbling on it. "How come I don't get letters like that?"

He looked up again as the pitter-patter of Teana feet came back down. "Here," she said breathlessly. "This is the address to two of the best mechanics in town. You'll need it."

He looked at it. "What makes you think I need this?"

She gave him one of her award-winning smiles.

"Because to be honest, there's no way that beater of yours will make it to Dais Run."

*/*\\*

They bumped into Anzu on the way there, who had Miho in tow.

"Hi, Anzu!" Yami greeted at regular tone, before dipping down in volume. "Why is _she_ here?"

"I couldn't ditch her, I'm sorry," Anzu hissed.

"You're not _really_ going to Skellington Manor, are you?" Miho asked.

"We are," Yami said, trotting off and forcing the others to follow. "Ta."

In a short while, the group was on the outskirts of town, looking through the wrought-iron fence to Skellington Manor. It stood tall, imposing, and Gothic against the sky, up on a hill at the end of a winding path.

"But isn't the fence booby-trapped with black lightning?" Jonouchi asked.

"Maybe, but I doubt it," Yami said.

"Are you sure?" Kels asked, eyebrow askew.

Yami glanced back at them and then back at the fence. He tentatively stretched his hands out. He clasped down on the fence—

" _Yaaaauuughaaaahhh!_ "

Everyone else screamed as Yami's yell pierced the air. He stopped and smirked at everyone. The screams died down and everyone started glaring at him.

"That wasn't funny," Anzu gasped, holding her chest.

"That was great," Kels said. She was grinning ear to ear. Yami returned her grin and slid through the bars.

"Are you guys coming, or what?" he asked, an impetuous grin on his face. Yuki instantly jumped through the gate.

"I knew you would," Yami said. Yuki grinned. "Anyone else?"

Bakura stared at the bars. "What if it only works for blood relatives?" he asked.

"What? Is the world renowned thief afraid to sneak onto a mage's property?"

"No," Bakura said, slipping through the bars. "It's just that it's hard to do any thieving when one is a pile of dust."

"Well, you aren't, so there you go."

Kels joined them on the other side next, followed by Jonouchi. Soon, everyone was within the gate except for Miho.

"Y'know, maybe I should wait out here and keep watch," she said nervously.

Kels and Yami grabbed her by her lapels and dragged her through the gate.

They started up the main drive towards the door. Jonouchi looked around.

"Hey, look at that! The fence doesn't go all the way around. It goes from brick to fence and then it just stops."

"A lot of properties are like that. Especially if they're shoved up against a forest like this one. Our property is like that," Yami explained.

"So is mine," Kels said. "So don't sound so stunned, Jo."

"I'm not," Jonouchi said. "But if the fence ends over there, then why did we go through the gate and risk being zapped?"

"'Because straight is the gate, and narrow is the way,' besides, it wouldn't feel right going _around_ the fence, now would it?" Yami asked.

"And besides," Honda said, draping one arm over Jonouchi's shoulders conspiratorially. "That's probably where the lightning is."

"I doubt it," Yami said.

"Why?" Anzu asked.

"Because, the property runs right into the forest," Yami pointed out. "That makes an excellent escape route. Blocking a viable exit route with your own trap isn't a smart thing to do. And Skellington was much smarter than that."

They had reached the front steps by this time and were staring up at the dominating façade.

"So now what?" Bakura asked, flexing his fingers. "A little breaking and entering?"

"No," Yami said, reaching into one of his wrist cuffs. "I have a key here, so we'll only be guilty of entering. If you can be arrested for such a thing."

He pulled out a long, thin, black key that he had found in the attic. One end had very simple, blocky teeth; the other end was ornately carved, ending with a wreath of skulls surrounding a bright orange jack-o-lantern.

" _That's_ the key?" Anzu asked.

"Yep," Yami said, putting it in the lock and turning it. "Ironically enough, it's a skeleton key. It'll open every door in this mansion." He pushed the door and it swung open.

Everyone filed in quietly past Yami, who stepped inside first to hold the door open. When they were all in, Yami leaned back outside and tossed his hat to a pole. It swung around and turned into Horus, who perched on the pole and posed before he realized he only had Yami as an audience.

"If anyone comes up, you let us know," Yami told him.

"Sure thing, boss," Horus said, cocking his head jauntily. "Anyone comes over, you'll be the first to know."

"Good boy."

Yami pulled his head back in and closed the door, taking a few steps to join the rest of the group, all clustered together as if something was going to leap out at them any moment.

"Well," Yami said finally. A few jumped at the sound of his voice. "Here we are. Now, be careful about what you touch here—you don't want to run into anything hexed."

Some of his friends shied away from the nearby table. Understandable, he decided.

"What are we looking for?" Kels asked in a quiet voice, as though she didn't want to disturb the quiet of the mansion.

Yami paused, thinking about the question for a moment.

"Answers," he said finally. "We're looking for answers."


	65. Lighting Up

**Chapter 65, everyone! Yes, it's alive! Still—combination crazy month/having to make sure the whole arc was planned out and properly spaced/inspiration elsewhere….Moving on, Happy Halloween, so have a chapter to go with it! :D**

 **Kineil quotes a movie, but I don't remember which one….I think** ** _The Pacifier_** **, but I'm not certain….Someone spot me on that, will you?**

 **Plenty of spooky movies this October—and a few horror ones. Special mention goes to** ** _The Shining_** **, which is, without a doubt, a** ** _TERRIBLE_** **movie. Watched it on and off with my Mom, and the best part is literally the part everyone knows, where Jack Nicholson stuck his head through the door and snarled** ** _"Here's Johnny!"_** **Good rule of thumb is probably to** ** _not_** **watch any Stephen King films directed by Stephen King—of all of the Stephen King films, the only one I ever liked was** ** _Shawshank Redemption_** **, which was** ** _not_** **directed by him. Yes,** ** _Shawshank Redemption_** **is a Stephen King film (it's based on the novella** ** _Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption_** **). I know. It boggled my mind too.**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! No, it was not. Although we did get a lot of shells when we went back for a couple of days, but the whole two-week vacation was pretty much shot, as we spent most of the time indoors due to the rainstorms being shoved ahead of the hurricane. The highlight of the whole vacation was a cormorant swallowing a whole crab (his neck looked like it was in a cartoon) and a Facebook post that had Matthew McConaughey playing the hurricane. Yes, finally! Which is probably what caused that storm….Yes, me too….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes, me too….Yep, we are—although summer is still hanging on tooth and nail (shorts yesterday, wow!). Shame on you—get to those!**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Yes, me too. Well, to be honest, the only thing I was worried about as far as spotty Internet goes was getting my schoolwork sent in—everything else was minor inconveniencing (although I** ** _do_** **need my electricity—me writing out longhand is not a good thing). Eh, I'm not all that big myself—the thing you have to remember is to** ** _not_** **do what they tell you when your ammo runs out. In theory, you're supposed to put your hands up and yell** ** _"I'm out!"_** **In reality, you do that and end up with a perfect outline of you against whatever you're standing against. Nerves was the worst part, though—worst I got was a few bruises, a mouthful of paint (yes, I was pelted), and a couple of lacerations on the side of my face where high-speed paint made it through the safety mask. Good times….Yes, it had to be done! And…wait…Dr. Who time-travels…and the Montgaus have a neighbor named David….Yes, finally!**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _Casper ©_** **1995 Brad Silberling (the house in general is honestly based off of Whipstaff Manor)**

 ** _Harry Potter_** **© 1997 J.K. Rowling**

 ** _Grim Fandango_** **© 1998 LucasArts (ask me about Grim Fandango!)**

 ** _National Treasure_** **© 2004 Jon Turteltaub**

 ** _Guardians of Ga'Hoole_** **© 2003 Kathryn Lasky**

 ** _Chicken Run_** **© 2000 DreamWorks & Aardman Studios ("My whole life flashed before me eyes! It was really very boring….")**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

When their eyes finally adjusted, they saw that the foyer they were standing in led to a sizable mudroom, through which they could see part of another room. They began to advance, looking everywhere for signs of traps. Yami glanced down to see a welcome mat. He heard Kels laugh and looked forward. At the entrance to the mudroom, lined up with the welcome mat, was another mat that read _wipe your feet_.

"It's nice to know this guy had a sense of humor," Kels announced.

"Or maybe he just had a hard time remembering things," Anzu observed, looking at a small table. It had little steps with hooks, and a sign at the top that read _keys please_.

Kels looked around the mudroom. "What a house," she observed. "My living room could fit in this room. Isn't this supposed to be the foyer?"

"This'd make a heck of an extended family," Jonouchi observed. "Look how much room he had for coats and boots. Honestly!" he tilted his head back to his friends and gave a lopsided grin. "No wonder they offed him—he was too filthy rich."

"You're just jealous," Honda observed.

Yami nudged Yuki, standing in the way; Yuki leapt about a foot in the air with a high-pitched squeak. He spun around, saw Yami arch an eyebrow, and lowered his head, blushing furiously.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Yuki," Kels said, her voice muffled with laughter. "After all, it's not like he's a ghost."

The mudroom suddenly fell silent.

"Skellington _isn't_ a ghost, is he?" Kels asked finally, looking at Yami.

"It's doubtful," Yami told them. "His bones were banished, remember? He's currently in another dimension, tied to his bones by way of eternal corporeal punishment."

They absorbed this information, then everyone crossed themselves.

"Anyway, I wouldn't worry about ghosts," Jonouchi said quickly. "It's Spooks I'd be worried about."

"Spooks don't exist, dunce," Honda scolded.

"They do too!" Jonouchi snapped back. "They steal your socks—but only the left ones. What's up with that?"

Yami couldn't help but glance at Bakura, who looked up whistling. The whistle turned into a long low note. "Nice," he commented.

Yami followed his gaze. The ceiling had been painstakingly painted with a starry night sky.

"That's not from here," Bakura observed. "Those constellations are from farther north."

"Who would paint all that on their ceiling?" Honda asked.

"Just because you're practical, Honda, doesn't mean everyone else is."

"Yes, everyone knows how flamboyant and bizarre Magicians are," Kels pointed out. "No offense," she added, glancing at Yami.

"None taken," Yami noised, looking back down. "Come on—there's more to this place than just the mudroom."

Someone cursed in pain, having bumped into something in the gloomy interior.

"Or…maybe we ought to see about getting some lights first," Yami said.

*\\*/*

Teana was sitting on her apartment building's stoop, luggage nearby and waiting, cradling her pot of honking daffodils as she waited for Yami's promised transport. She wondered what that entailed—probably messy-haired Magicians on brooms or something like that.

She looked up sharply at the cacophonous sound of an automotive nightmare rattling down the street, saw a convertible round a corner and show itself to be the source of the noise. To her growing alarm, it was heading straight for the curb in front of the building—and worse, she recognized the people inside it.

"Hi there!" Hephaestus greeted upon the car rattling to a stop.

"Oh good," Teana said as he turned it off. "I was hoping for ostentatious transportation."

"You too?" Vulcan asked, hopping out of the car along with Hephaestus.

Teana made a pensive noise as she stood. "I see Yami saw fit to preserve his life."

"Actually, the little Teana in his head told him to go to work," Kineil said from her perch in the backseat. "You could actually see it in his eyes—otherwise, he'd have been in here eating his knees."

"He does seem too tall for this sort of transport."

"The good news is, more room for your luggage," Hephaestus said, pulling his goggles down. "Where's the rest of it?"

"This is it," Teana said, gesturing.

Hephaestus and Vulcan stared, making her slightly uncomfortable; she had really been much too busy working to accumulate much, and she didn't really _need_ that much, and she couldn't really _afford_ that much…but still….

"One trunk and three hatboxes?" Vulcan asked finally.

Teana shrugged, deciding for audacity. "And your point?" she asked.

Vulcan and Hephaestus exchanged glances, then shrugged.

"All right," Hephaestus said, picking up the hatboxes.

"Just so you know, when Yami sees this, he's going to work on spoiling you to no end," Vulcan said, picking up the steamer trunk and following Hephaestus to the trunk of the car.

"I don't need spoiling," Teana said flatly.

"Of course you don't," Kineil said, opening the back door of the car so Teana could climb in. "But Yami's going to do it anyway, because that's how he rolls. Now hop in this nightmare so we can get going."

"He needs better things to do," Teana declared as she sat down.

"Nah," Hephaestus said, checking to make sure her skirt was in before shutting the door. Vulcan shut the trunk and headed for his passenger seat. "Besides, he's been busy making sure his month's clear," Hephaestus continued, climbing into the driver's seat. "He's been in a tizzy ever since he got your letter." He pulled his goggles back on, then paused, giving his statement some thought. "Bit annoying, to be honest…."

"Should I be concerned about riding in this thing?" Teana asked as he turned the engine over.

"My dear Miss Gardenier," Kineil hollered over the engine noise; Teana noted she was clinging to the sidebar as tightly as she could. "There was a reason I said this thing was a Nightmare."

*/*\\*

After glancing into several dark, musty rooms and noting the lighting setup, it was generally agreed that they needed to find the generator next. Considering Skellington had been friends with the infamous mechanical Magicians Hephaestus and Vulcan, it stood to reason that he had such a power source independent of the town's power.

Jonouchi and Honda took charge there, directing everyone to search for the entrance to the basement.

"Why the basement?" Miho squeaked, still cowed by the place. Understandable.

"Because that's where people keep machines like that," Jonouchi explained simply.

They opened several doors, seeking steps downward. The rooms were dark and murky and stale-smelling—the mansion had obviously not been disturbed in a long, long while. Yami had a spark of magic light cradled in his hand, leading one group, while Anzu had a flashlight, leading the other.

 _"Eek!"_

" _What!"_ Yami yelped, spinning around—several of the others did too. Miho fell to the ground in a faint—Honda caught her.

Anzu, meanwhile, was looking rather sheepish as she beat at her chest, probably to restart her heart. "Sorry," she muttered. "The furniture in this room was covered—I saw white sheets and…well…it was stupid."

Yami shrugged—there wasn't any other appropriate reaction. Poking around in a musty old mansion in the dark felt very much like invading a private tomb: slow, dangerous, and potentially deadly.

"Woah!" Jonouchi yelped suddenly, sounding like he had lost his footing and causing another round of alarm. "Hey! I need a light over here!"

Yami crossed over, being closer and with fewer people between him and Jonouchi, held his light high so it shone above Jonouchi's shoulder—

And down a flight of wooden stairs, descending into cobwebbed darkness.

"Great," Yami said. "We found stairs that probably lead to the basement."

"Probably?" Jonouchi echoed.

"I don't exactly have a floor plan of this place."

Kels ducked under Jonouchi's arm, still braced against the doorframe. "So!" she said. "Who wants to go down the long creepy flight of stairs first?"

Long silence.

Yami and Kels both looked at Jonouchi.

"Gee, why don't I go?" Jonouchi asked, sounding more than irritated.

"Would you?" Kels asked, voice dripping with mock-sweetness.

Anzu handed Jonouchi her flashlight. "You might need this."

"Woo," Jonouchi muttered unenthusiastically, accepting the flashlight. "You all hear a scream, that'll be me."

"That's the spirit, Jo," Kels said as he took the first few steps down.

And then dashed back up. "I just remembered—I left the stove on at home. I ought to go home—be with the stove."

"Jonouchi…."

Yami put a hand on his chest to arrest forward momentum before going down the steps himself. "Come on, let's get this over with."

*\\*/*

Upon arrival at Skellington Manor, it took all of Teana's control to not immediately mimic Kineil upon coming to a halt.

Said Magician flung herself out of the car, screaming _"LAND!"_ before dropping to her hands and knees and kissing the paving stones.

"Aw, come on, it wasn't _that_ bad!" Hephaestus scolded, pulling his goggles back down—he looked like a reverse raccoon from the road dust that had coated him. "We didn't even hit anybody that time!"

Teana—who shakily allowed herself to be helped out of the car by Vulcan—looked up sharply at that statement. "What?"

"We may have nearly run over an Administrator. _Once_ ," Vulcan added quickly.

"You people are a menace to the roads," Teana declared.

"That's what I hear," a familiar voice said.

They glanced about, then up as a black bird swooped over, spun around mid-air—

And then coalesced into Yami Skellington, dropping gracefully to the ground before striking a pose. "Ta-da!" he announced, sounding pleased with himself.

"Showoff," Hephaestus muttered.

"It's not as noisy and saves money on gas," Yami countered, crossing over to Teana, briefly looking down so he didn't step on Kineil. "Ah…for the record, _I_ wanted to send Skul over with the Bentley," he said to Teana.

"That _would_ have been calmer," Teana said. "I think my whole life flashed before my eyes."

"Really? How was it?"

"Very boring. And in review, I _still_ question getting into relations with you."

"Harsh," Kineil said, sitting up. "But understandable."

"I'm sure," Yami said, before looking to Hephaestus. "By the by, did I tell you that the Administrators are wanting to pass a law banning gas-powered vehicles on the roads?"

Hephaestus waved that concern off. "We'd find a way around it."

"I'm sure. Anyway!" Yami chipperly focused back on Teana. "I delegated everything so I could help you get settled—we can pick out your room—"

"You can't have mine," Kineil said, standing and dusting her knees off.

"—while the boys get the rest of your stuff."

"It's all in the trunk," Vulcan said, popping the trunk open.

"Really?"

Teana couldn't help but give an apologetic expression as Yami watched Vulcan empty the trunk—a process that didn't take very long.

"That can't be everything," Yami said, looking at her.

"It is," Teana said. "I believe in a Spartan lifestyle."

"Warlike mannerisms to boot," Kineil said. "By the by, here it comes."

"Here what comes?" Yami asked.

"You deciding to spoil her to no end."

"Apparently I've become very transparent," Yami muttered.

"No spoiling me," Teana said, pointing. "I'm very happy with what I have, thank you very much."

"Of course," Yami said, offering an elbow to escort her. "But I plan on spoiling you anyway," he added as they went up the walkway. "First thing's first: we'll get you an account set up with Ghastly—he'll be pleased as punch to see you and probably make you a new outfit every month."

"Why?"

"Because he loves making clothes for women—he says it's more freeing, since they like color more. And then jewelry, because Mitzi informs me that having jewelry to match the clothes is very important—"

Teana looked behind them to see Kineil trailing after them, holding in a laugh. Vulcan was behind her with the hatboxes, with Hephaestus bringing up the rear with the trunk.

Teana rolled her eyes and jabbed him in the side with her elbow.

"I don't need nor want any of that," she informed him. "A room is fine."

"I _am_ getting ahead of myself," Yami mused. "All right, first thing to do is help you pick out a room."

"Y'don't mind, I'll just drop this off in the foyer," Hephaestus called. "I gotta get the Nightmare put up—it looks like rain."

They looked up to see that yes indeed, gray clouds were scuttling in.

"It was supposed to be sunny," Yami muttered.

"Then it's a good thing your roof doesn't leak," Teana said.

Yami looked down at her and smiled. "Yes indeed." He waved a hand and his front door swung open. "Well then, won't you come in out of the rain?"

She winced as a raindrop hit her on top of the head. "I'd love to."


	66. Get A Room

**Chapter 66, everybody! In which I hopefully get back into the swing of things and try not to think about tomorrow, when everyone in the States gets to pick their poison—er, I mean vote. If I drop off the face of the earth again, that's because my family is fleeing the country because Hillary got in (I kid. Mostly).**

 **Movie this week is** ** _Blue Lagoon_** **, which I…did** ** _not_** **finish watching with my Mom, it was that distasteful. Supposedly, that was Brooke Shield's best movie. That doesn't say much for her acting career.**

 **For those who wonder—Vulcanization is the process of converting natural rubber to the synthetic stuff we use. It was patented by Charles Goodyear (of Goodyear tires) and named after Vulcan of Rome, and might be why Vulcan smells funny. ;) "You can't fix stupid" comes from my Dad—and his boss. They don't deny being daft. And yes, the Amish build things to last.**

 **Jonouchi quotes the Book of Genesis here—Chapter 1, a bit from verse 3 and the rest from the end of verse 5 (God names light and dark and separates day from night in between the quoted sections).**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, it was—but** ** _Shawshank Redemption_** **was good, as was** ** _The Green Mile_** **(which is another Stephen King story that wasn't directed by Stephen King). Haha, yes—no matter what the format, Joey/Jonouchi has never been that fond of scary stuff (a memorable example was when he was forced to sit in front on a ride in the horror level of Death-T—the only thing that saved him was the fact that he passed clean out). Good question. And yes, she should. Well, to be fair to Yami, she'll be finding out there's others in the building she'll be wanting distance from….**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Yes! Oh man, Season 0/the original seven graphic novels were** ** _amazing_** **—and then it was all about the cards, and then it didn't feel the same (I for one loved the character building and throwing characters in crazy situations the first run had). Ah, yes, original Yami…let us not, dear friends, forget the time Yami set a guy on fire for threatening Anzu (and yet that chapter is one of my favorites—something's wrong with me :|). I know! And yes it does…I suppose one could argue that everyone has a breaking point….Remarkably quiet—we live in the country, so no one goes trick-or-treating in our neighborhood; spent the whole day watching Tim Burton films and eating candy we bought. :D**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes he is—and no, it shouldn't. Thank you—it's great to be back! :D Yeah, the past couple of months have been a little screwy, but barring anything dramatic, things should be getting back to normal (which reminds me, I really need to work on the next couple of chapters). Ah, but it's catching! Yes—but it's finally cooling off; I'm having to break out the longsleeves. :( Wow. And wow *sends you virtual Kleenex* Of course! That sort of thing always waits for the most inopportune time. Yes, get to work!**

 **References:**

 _ **Yu-Gi-Oh!**_ **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 _ **The Nightmare Before Christmas**_ **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 _ **Dharma and Greg**_ **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 _ **Skulduggery Pleasant**_ **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 _ **Lackadaisy Cats**_ **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 _ **Casper ©**_ **1995 Brad Silberling (the house in general is honestly based off of Whipstaff Manor)**

 **"** **Ninth Street Bridge" © 1969 Bill Cosby (Yami references it at one point)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Yami's arm was getting remarkably tired.

He was currently sitting on a table across from the circuit breaker Jonouchi—and Honda, who had eventually worked up the nerve to follow them down—were working on, holding up his little magic spark so they could see. He had moved it to his other hand once already, and he had the feeling he'd have to do it again before it was all over.

"What are you doing?" Jonouchi muttered around the tiny screwdriver he had in his mouth currently—he and Honda had their own set of tools, which Yami suspected they kept in pockets that had to be magically enlarged, the way they pulled things out of them sometimes.

"What do you mean, what am I doing?" Honda asked. "This isn't a bomb I'm dismantling—this has to go here, and this needs to be unplugged—"

"Maybe it _is_ a bomb," Jonouchi countered, taking the screwdriver out of his mouth. "You don't know if these people booby-trapped everything—"

"Guys, my arm's getting tired, and I'd like to wrap this all up today if possible," Yami interjected.

"Uh, hello?"

Yami glanced at the stairwell, where the uncertain voice had come from. "Nothing's lurking down here," he called.

Kels appeared, apparently having crabwalked down the steps, leaning down so she could peer into the room at about the same time her feet appeared. "Are you sure?" she asked. "Those are some mighty dark corners."

"If anything were down here, Jonouchi and Honda would have irritated it into reacting before now," Yami assured her. She was shaking a little, he noticed—nervous like the rest of them. And eyeing everything like it was going to jump out at her as she gingerly made her way over to where he was sitting, looking ready to bolt at the drop of a hat—or jump straight up to Heaven, if the way she refused to pick up her feet was any indication.

"The troops are getting nervous up there, general," she declared when she finally reached his side, putting her hands on her hips as she delivered this information. She nodded at Jonouchi and Honda. "What are they doing?"

"Currently?" Yami asked. "Arguing."

"I can see that," Kels observed, glancing to their left. "Have they tried that generator-looking thing yet?"

The boys stopped, glanced to their left.

"I take that as a _no_ , then," Kels said.

Jonouchi and Honda exchanged glances.

"That might be easier," Honda pointed out.

"Agreed," Jonouchi said, directing his attention to the generator. "Hey, Yami, can you move the light a little?"

Yami groaned as he did so. "You did this on purpose," he said to Kels.

"How do you figure?" she asked.

"You get a sort of perverse delight in our pain."

"Then yes," she agreed. "I'm having a _ball_."

"At least someone is."

"You suggested we all go to a haunted house in October," Kels pointed out. "You visited this upon yourself, I'll have you know."

"We don't know that it's haunted."

"It could be."

Yami opened his mouth to argue—

The lights came on.

"'And there was light,'" Jonouchi quoted. "'And the evening and the morning were the first day.'"

"The rest of us would like to know if that was you guys," Anzu called down the steps.

"It was," Yami called, shaking his hand to extinguish the light he was holding. "Now that that's settled, we can get on to what we came here for."

*\\*/*

The foyer was as huge as Teana remembered it.

"Pick any hook for your coat and then we'll move on to rooms," Yami declared happily, gesturing expansively. "Mi casa su casa, what's mine is yours, all that."

"I'd rather keep my coat in my room," Teana said. "Less likely for something to make its home in the pocket or abscond with it."

"And what makes you think I have anything like that infesting my home?"

"I notice you didn't deny it."

"Well, you _have_ met my roommates…."

"I have," Teana said. "And I'd rather not have a room next to them, if it's all the same to you."

"You can't have my room," Kineil said, not missing a beat as she walked by them.

"Well…the good news is, after the first few explosions, I soundproofed their rooms," Yami began.

 _"Explosions?"_ Teana asked. "Better yet—first _few?"_

"So really, you could be right next door and never hear them."

"I don't want to be right next door to them—I'm having second thoughts about being in the same _house_."

"Understandable," Yami said. "But keep in mind this place was built by _giants_ —they're like the Amish, only bigger. And then I've cast so many spells on the place to keep it standing that one of the Ancients' worldbreaker weapons could conceivably drop on it and the place would still be standing."

"There's still that doubt, though."

"You can't talk yourself out of staying here _now_ —you just got here! You're in the door. We've already contacted the postmaster general."

"And here I thought you were working."

"I was doing that too. _I_ can multitask."

"Uh-huh."

Kineil stuck her head into the foyer, pointing at Teana. "No backing out now! You'll have needlessly traumatized your daffodils for nothing."

"This is true," Teana sighed, patting the poor daffodils—the things were still quaking from the wild ride they had just had.

"No little birdie?" Yami asked.

It took her a moment to figure out what he was asking. "I thought about it, but I couldn't bring myself to cage him."

Yami scratched beneath his jaw pensively. "Okay. I'll just go over and fetch him later."

"What did I just say?"

"I'll be wearing my feathers then. In the meantime—first or second floor?"

"For?" Teana asked, following him into the living room.

"Your room," Yami said, pointing first down a hall leading off the living room before pointing up a pair of winding steps to a landing and the second floor.

"No third floor?" Teana asked.

"That's his," Kineil called from the kitchen, pointing at Yami.

"Workshop and library and such," Yami said, looking up. "And a bed. A really nice bed. One that I fit in."

"Let me guess," Teana said, similarly looking up—like they could conceivably look through the ceiling. "Third floor's off limits."

"Well we could move some stuff around, but I don't think you'd like it—too close to me, right?"

"She means, is she allowed up there?" Kineil said.

"Oh. Well, _you_ are allowed up there. Heph and Vul aren't. Not since…the _incident."_

"There was an _incident?"_ Teana asked.

"There was," Yami said. "But everything's all right—got all the windows fixed and Vul's eyebrows grew back decently. Although he _does_ smell like rubber now…."

"He smelled like rubber before," Kineil said, pouring herself a cup of something dark. "Now he just smells like burnt rubber."

"If you're going to contribute to the conversation, _why_ are you contributing from over _there?"_ Yami asked, starting to sound a mite exasperated.

"Because it amuses me."

Teana tapped Yami on the arm. "What floor are _they_ on?" she asked, pointing into the kitchen.

Yami looked at Kineil before looking back at her. "First floor. Why?"

"I'll take the second floor."

"Excellent choice!" Kineil said cheerily. "You'll be able to roll off the porch roof in the event of another fire."

" _Another_ fire?"

"It was just Vulcan's eyebrows—I may have mentioned this," Yami said.

"Yes, the _incident._ That involved eyebrow loss and windows breaking."

"It's part of the reason I made them move most of their operations to the garage out back," Yami said, ushering her to the stairs. "Which, by the way, is _not_ attached to the house, so you can worry less about them setting the place on fire, now let's pick a room out before you change your mind completely."

"I noticed you didn't deny it happening again," Teana pointed out.

"I can't fully guarantee it won't. After all, like Kineil says, you can't fix stupid."

"Exhibit A," Kineil said, pointing at Yami.

"Mock me later."

"I will mock you now, and there is not a thing you can do to stop me."

Yami's expression as he closed his eyes and apparently counted to ten was an aggrieved one. "And you two are friends," Teana observed.

"Yes," Yami said, opening his eyes. "Which means she's the only one allowed to talk to me like that. You too, I suppose, since we're friends. Right?"

"Let's not go that far," Teana said, climbing the steps, one hand on the smooth mahogany railing.

"But you want that!" Kineil called up. "Mocking Yami is a noble pastime—you'll love it!"

"With friends like those," Teana muttered to Yami, a step behind her.

"I take comfort in the fact that I have no enemies," Yami said blithely, hand right behind hers on the railing.

Again, that little shiver, but she quickly tamped it down when Yami walked down the hall, opening first one door and then another on the other side.

"This side looks out onto the solarium, and this side goes out onto a balcony on the porch roof," Yami said, pointing. "I highly recommend the porch side."

She stepped in, looked around, followed Yami as he opened the French doors and stepped onto the balcony—

And then promptly stepped back in.

"Forgot it was raining," he said sheepishly.

"You have issues," Teana decided to say.

"Eh…anyway," Yami said, pulling the doors back shut. "Every room has its own en suite, since fighting for bathroom space isn't fun. I had _thought_ to maybe put a kitchenette in, but after the _incident_ …."

"I notice you didn't confirm nor deny your issues."

"I have the feeling you'd contest me if I did. Anyway, the rest of the rooms are pretty similar on this side. Over here…." he exited the room and crossed the hall. She followed. "Similar setup, except it's bay windows overlooking the solarium. By the by, it is _not_ raining in the solarium."

"I should hope not," Teana said drily.

"And the rest of the rooms are pretty much the same," Yami said. "Except for the ones downstairs, as they have no windows or extra doors, being right at eye level and there being propriety to think about. But I think they're gradually being converted into other rooms, so…."

Teana considered the room, looked out the window and down onto the solarium floor. "How frequently do Bakura and Marik visit?"

"Every once in a while—why?"

She pointed across the hall. "I'll take that one. Maybe the one next to it, so it's not right next to the stairs."

"I'm terribly sorry, but you can't have that one."

"Why not?"

"Because the second one from the stairs on that side is Kineil's room—and she's been very adamant about you not having her room. Why not the one right next to the stairs?"

"Foot traffic, turning too fast, not being fully awake when I hit them…reasons."

"Understandable. Fortunately, the rest of the rooms on that side are free. Take your pick."

She glanced at the one across from them, walked past Kineil's room—and the next one—before settling on one in the middle of the hall.

"Is this one taken?" she asked.

"If that's the one you want," Yami said.

She glanced up and down the hall. "Lot of family?"

"Lots of friends. I had this mental image of everyone dropping in at once and then this happened." He reached past her and opened the door, allowing her to step in. Yes, very similar. And not too terribly bad, despite lacking more than the guest room feel. It felt…nice.

"I'll take it," she said, turning to see him leaning on the doorframe and smiling—the place was made with him in mind, she noted, considering his hair didn't even brush the doorframe.

"Welcome home then."


	67. Old Records

**Chapter 67, everybody! In which the writer is positively giddy about the results of the election, and finds it very ironic—the media didn't even remotely call for Trump winning, periodicals were already publishing works that said Clinton won….Hey! This is** ** _precisely_** **like the Truman/Dewey election referenced back in Chapter 24! What do you know, history** ** _does_** **repeat itself!...I hope Trump references that somewhere….**

 **Moving on—apologies for posting this on Tuesday instead of Monday: got ready to post it last night and my Internet said "Oh no you don't."**

 **Movie this week is _The Green Mile_ , which was on several times last week** **—** **which I find strange considering I was just talking about it…they're watching me, I swear….**

 **For the record—literally—records do skip, stick, jump and everything else mentioned when not taken care of. They warp in the heat and get dirty, and can get scratched—those who remember CDs, think of those, but not as delicate. And it also provides some insight as to where the phrase "you sound like a broken record" comes from.**

 **And, to be fair, the conversation on the record is a reference to my old tape of** ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **—my family was taping it, couldn't figure out the tape recorder, and had to stop the tape while they figured it out. I grew up with no visual for the previews and my family discussing the camera over the audio. I miss that tape….**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! It was happy voting—all this stress right up until I hit the vote button, and then absolute relief because it's done, I did all I could do. And because I always think of the scene in** ** _Jurassic Park_** **where Ellie turns on the power when I use the voting machines. To be fair, Trump might be an improvement as he's closer to the ground and understands how the markets work better than a politician—and to also be fair, the President doesn't have as much power as people seem to think (the way our system is set up has three branches balancing each other out, and the President has to field any decision by Congress—and even his vetoes can be overruled by Congress majority). Ah, if only they still accepted write-ins….**

 **DarkstalkerWoF1499, thanks for the review! Distant relatives….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes! And yes—Yami has. Multiple times. And then Kineil yells at him for leaving bread crumbs everywhere. It'll catch on eventually….It can! Winter boosts productivity on stories relating to a certain antlered individual! Yes, snow is fun the first couple of days—and then you have to go somewhere….Oh good. :D**

 **FluffyIdiotIsI, thanks for the review! Wow, thank you! I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _Casper ©_** **1995 Brad Silberling (the house in general is honestly based off of Whipstaff Manor)**

 ** _Pirates of the Caribbean Online_** **© 2005 Disney (the walking stump and toothy plant are references to monsters in this now-defunct game, although I hear the fans are remaking it, which would be nice, because the game** ** _rocked_** **)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say pal, don't look so happy to see me!")**

 ** _Wild America_** **© 1997 William Dear (the home movie bit is partially inspired by a scene in this movie)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

The lights may have taken off the spooky edge, but they didn't make the place any less eerie.

The rooms they stuck their heads in gave the impression that the place had been abandoned in a hurry; some things were out of place, some furniture hastily covered—a couple of bedrooms downstairs had suitcases half-packed.

 _He knew what was coming,_ Yami reflected, eyeing a few mouldering dime novels in one suitcase—hastily thrown in over some clothes. _But not too far in advance. Did he not see the end coming until it was too late?_

If that were the case, he'd have to give the Administrators more credit than he had originally. To pull a fast one on the Skellington Mage….

"Hey Yami!"

Yami started, headed out of the room and down the long dusty dining room—the house was starting to lose its frightening effect the longer they went without encountering spooks or curses or the like.

The end of the dining room opposite the kitchen and living room found him in a parlor-type place, exiting out onto the wraparound porch and a solarium that had been long overgrown.

Jonouchi and Honda were at the entrance to the latter, peering in through the dusty green sunlight.

"Dude," Honda said. "You should _see_ these _plants_ …."

"I'm not going in there," Jonouchi decided. "That one has teeth. And I think that stump is walking around."

"So long as it doesn't walk this way."

"Is that why you called me?" Yami asked, looking at Kels and Anzu.

"The walking stump is news to me," Anzu said, trying to ignore Miho practically glued to her back, where she had been for the whole venture.

"We found some records and stuff," Kels said, pointing over to where Yuki and Bakura were fiddling. "Some of it looks like it might have been them recording on records or film."

Yami tipped his head, intrigued, and followed the girls over.

"Jonouchi, Honda," he called. "Leave the plants alone and help with this."

"Bakura told us he'd break our fingers if we did," Jonouchi called over.

"Seriously?" Yami asked, looking at Bakura.

"They don't have any prior experience with this sort of thing, and they took forever to get the lights on. Yes, I'm serious," Bakura said, setting a reel into a projector.

"And you have experience with this sort of thing? I thought the Majestic _never_ hired out." The Majestic being the local movie theater, which had operated without fail for as long as Yami could remember. But then again, there were people who worked the ticket booth and the concession stands…and yet he had never heard of anyone operating the projector booth.

"I helped with a summer film festival a while back," Bakura said, threading the film. "Remember that year I was off on a walkabout?"

"Was that the year you had several outstanding warrants?"

"Ha ha, you're not funny. Ah." Bakura left the projector, brought an old Victrola closer to the projector before accepting the record Yuki had been cleaning off. "Okay, these two were together, so it follows that…."

He flicked the switch, turned the Victrola on, nearly at the same time. As it were, the audio was still noticeably out of sync with the visuals flickering on a far wall, barely visible in the light streaming in. Yami went to shut the drapes, one ear on the warped record.

 _"So yOu THinK she'LL L-L-L-L-Like this, MISsss M?"_ the record asked, possibly matching up with the young man with unfortunate eyebrows, who was holding the camera in such a way that he was looking into the lens. _"Hhhhhold on—hOW do you KNNNNNow if it's on?"_

 _"I ttthink IT's that butTON riGHt thERe,"_ another voice cut in.

 _"I-I-I-It's a hoMEComing present—of COUrse she wiLL,"_ another voice—this one feminine—said.

"What's wrong with the audio?" Yami asked, still shutting drapes—between the cracks, hisses, and skips, it was difficult to make out what anyone was saying, barely able to make out what they sounded like.

"It's an old, dusty record that hasn't been taken care of," Bakura said testily. "And I didn't have a whole lot of time to clean it properly, _thank you."_

"Sorry," Yuki said. "My fault."

"Only if you have magic cleaning powers you haven't shared with the rest of us," Bakura muttered, bumping the needle as it skipped along the wobbly record.

Yami finished with the windows as the argument on the record between the first and second voice finally concluded, with the second voice saying _"stop this_."

And then the video cut out—

And then jumped back to life with some different people, too close to the camera to make out.

And yet the first two were still arguing.

"Idiots didn't stop the record," Bakura said, moving his finger above the lurching record before bumping the needle to a new spot.

"— _had ttthe camera recORDing—seeeeeeeeeee the little LIGHt heeere?"_

Yami tipped his head at the new voice, crossed over to stand beside Bakura as he watched. The voice was vaguely familiar.

Jonouchi and Honda had drifted over to watch too.

"Eh, I've seen better films," Jonouchi said.

"I've seen worse," Honda said.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"You mind?" Kels cut in. "Some of us are trying to watch this."

Yami scowled, both at his friends' bickering and the suddenly muted audio. Whoever was currently operating the camera wasn't doing too well with it—apparently it had dipped forward and was doing a marvelous job of filming the floor.

 _"Eeesss…gbrfl…upsome,"_ he picked out from the hissing in the record.

And then the needle found its way out of the rough spot, just in time for Yami to hear a voice he _definitely_ knew.

 _"Ssssssssay pal, WHAt's all tHIS then?"_

Yami blinked—it was rough, it was corroded, it was hissing—but he definitely knew that harmonium voice.

"That's Administrator Carter," Yami said.

"Seriously?" Jonouchi asked, sitting on the arm of the semi-covered couch. "But Skellington was killed a thousand years ago! If that's Administrator Carter, then that makes him…really old."

"Magic keeps a person younger and longer lived," Anzu said, before Yami could. "The Administrator must have some _really_ strong magic."

Yami stared at her, prompting her to shrug. "There are _some_ aspects of magic I can learn through book-reading," she explained.

Yami had to concede that point, and returned his attention to the conversation on the record.

 _"Y-Y-Y-Y-You know, sssssshe's not going TO BE v-v-v-very happy to seeee you,"_ the woman from earlier opined.

 _"And yet you sAEEY that like I CARe,"_ Administrator Carter said. Yami could see the tip of his wingtip in the corner of the projection.

 _"OKAYEE, got IT!"_ the vaguely familiar voice crowed, and the camera lifted, panned to where twin staircases snaked down the walls of what he now recognized as the parlor—

And the video stopped.

Yami blinked. "What?"

Bakura was already scrambling at the projector, managed to stop it as the end of the film flopped around and around and around—

The audio was still going though—but for not much longer; Yami could see the needle rapidly approaching the end—

Just in time for a new voice to cut in.

 _"SSsay! No one said there was A PArty!"_

And then silence as the needle reached its end.

"Well," Yami said finally. "That wasn't very helpful."

Bakura examined the end of the film. "This was cut."

"It was probably edited," Kels said. "Let's be honest, that was a lot of junk."

Anzu was staring at the now blank wall, where before ghosts from the past had flickered. "Then there's a second film," she deduced slowly. "There's more reels, right?"

"A few," Bakura said, looking in the cabinet. "I'm not sure how many still work, though—they're old, the place is old, and they're decaying despite preservation charms." Here he held up something that looked like a milk cap to the casual observer. "Whoever runs the projection room at the Majestic might be able to bring them back," he added after a few moments. "That guy airs _old_ shows—he's got to have some way of keeping them fresh."

"Maybe you ought to see about bringing them back yourself," Yami said to Bakura. "We're not supposed to be here, remember?"

Bakura blew an irritated sigh before flicking the preserving charm back into the cabinet. "That—is beyond my area of expertise."

"Well then," Yami said, turning to face the stairs that had featured in the end of the film. "There's still more to see—maybe there's some answers upstairs."

*\\*/*

Teana was going to murder Yami. Of this she was certain.

Her intent must have been plain on her face, because Yami instantly went from pleased to reticent. "This wasn't _my_ idea," he said quickly.

"It was mine, dear," Mitzi said, gracefully getting up from her spot on the settee and coming over. "Although if you still feel like blaming Yami for something, he was a bit over the moon at the idea of you moving in and _may_ have told everyone and their mother."

"Uh huh," Teana noised, looking at one person in particular leaning against the wall. "And why are _you_ here?"

"I _told_ you she'd single you out," Mitzi said, looking at Maxwell.

"Oh wow, someone doesn't approve of me," Maxwell said, clasping his hands to his chest, voice dripping with sarcasm. "I'm _crushed_."

"As well you should. Don't worry about him, dear," Mitzi said to Teana, patting her arm. "He's just here for the free booze."

"Marik and Bakura aren't here, are they?" Teana had to ask.

"Not yet, but give them time."

"How many people did you _tell_?" Teana had to ask Yami.

"Er," Yami noised, scratching at his face. "Well, see, I was _very_ excited about this…."

"I kid you not, he was shouting it from the rooftops," Rocky called over.

"He's exaggerating," Calvin, Rocky's cousin, clarified.

"He was floating along the streets he was so happy."

"That might not be as much of an exaggeration."

Teana looked back to Yami, who at the very least looked sheepish.

"Well," he said, after a painful pause. "You needed a housewarming party."

"Which gets you free gifts, booze, and food," Mitzi added.

Oi. Oi and then some.

Especially when Teana had to actually concentrate on acting put-out—there were quite a few people here, and even the thought that maybe they showed up for _her_ was…well, nice.

"All right," she said finally. "So long as the food's free, I suppose."

"Wonderful," Yami said happily. "Max, you're closest—turn on the radio! We can't have a quiet party, after all! We want to make it memorable!"

Somehow, Teana didn't doubt that at all.


	68. Ghostly Encounters

**Chapter 68, everybody! Of which I had a chunk written a** ** _long_** **time ago—one of the first pieces I ever wrote for this story, honestly—and of which the rest was written before today, so I take that as a personal success. :D**

 **There's a house we stay in at the Outer Banks that has a spiral staircase in it, which I tried multiple times because Jack Skellington has a set. :D It may not be indicative of spiral staircases as a whole, but that set at least was narrow even for my skinny self and had me in real danger of bumping my head. Now picture a guy seven foot seven on a spiral staircase and you get Yami's concern.**

 **And while we're at it, Yami is referencing Stephen King's book** ** _Thinner_** **when he talks about the rhubarb pie—that movie came on once, and rhubarb pie was on sale at the Sam's Club the next time we went. D:**

 **One more thing—how much a person weighs soaking wet is a term used by my parents, and, oddly enough, my history teacher, who was the one who really got me into history and is probably at fault for laying the foundation for this story by getting me interested in history. So my history teacher ought to get a big thank you for this.**

 **Movie this week is Disney's** ** _Tangled_** **—Maximus and Pascal are still my favorite characters in that, and my Mom and Dad's too. :D And I honestly think 'Mother Knows Best' should be sung by all mothers to their children (** ** _THE PLAGUE!_** **). I just love how happy Mother Gothel is when she says that line.**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! You know, they were just comparing our election to your Brexit the other day (and Word recognized Brexit** ** _how…_** **). That is** ** _definitely_** **true—Trump may be a millionaire, but he's closer to the ground than the politicians are and therefore has some idea of what we're going through (say it with me now: taxes taxes taxes!). Even if he's only able to get a fraction of what he says done, we'll still be better off (and a solid red White House, House of Representatives, and Senate—this will be good, hopefully). Review: I remember CDs and cassette tapes (I** ** _found_** **a cassette tape the other day—now if only I still had a player that worked…). My Mom has records all over the place (and in similar straits, a record player that doesn't work) so I knew what a record was early on, but what really threw me was an 8-track—** ** _that_** **was the one I had to ask about. Good question—we might get a hint about it this chapter….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes, Teana, please….You would think. And I would think too, but I've had enough experience walking into a room and forgetting why I did to last me for quite some time. Someday….And yes it is—I've got the next few chapters written up, and I'm so excited (I just can't hide it) to get to the big climax I've been pondering for…two years almost, my goodness. Now here's hoping it turns out all right….Yes…if it comes. We've got a stiff cold strong wind blowing through and lake-effect snow further north—if I'm cold, I want snow to go with it. Ooh, hate those cold-wet days. :(**

 **FluffyIdiotIsI, thanks for the review! Me too…and to be honest, I kind of scared myself at one point in this chapter….Me too….**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Criminal Minds_** **© 2005 Jeff Davis (the other side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _Casper ©_** **1995 Brad Silberling (the house in general is honestly based off of Whipstaff Manor)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say pal, don't look so happy to see me!")**

 ** _Jurassic Park III_** **© Joe Johnston (the stairs scene is inspired by the scene in the aviary—but without the man-eating** ** _Pteranodon_** **)**

 ** _Aladdin_** **© 1992 Disney ("You're only in trouble if you get caught!")**

 ** _Seinfeld_** **© 1989 Jerry Seinfeld ("No soup for you!" Which is the extent of my knowledge of that show)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

The stairs creaked upon being stepped on.

"Maybe we should take these one at a time," Yami said, having an unfortunate mental image of the whole thing collapsing.

"Sure thing," Kels said. "But if your head comes rolling down, I'm diving out the window."

"Don't be silly. Use the door."

With that parting missive, he gingerly walked up the steps, wincing at every creak, gingerly making his way up….

And looking down a dusty hall.

One end opened out to the parlor, the other end opened out to the living room, and there was another flight of stairs that led to the more winding third floor. Doors sat ajar the whole length down.

"Well, my head's still attached," Yami called down. "I'd say it's safe enough."

"See, you say that _now,_ " Kels countered, as Yuki followed. Yami simply rolled his eyes and gingerly paced to the first room, nudging the door open and stepping back quickly. When nothing happened, he carefully stuck his head around….

A half-curtained window let in some grimy light, enough to see the general shapes of a bed and other furniture. There would be a wall switch—reach in….

Something seized his sides, yelled out—Yami screamed and nearly leaped out of his skin—

And then very nearly throttled a laughing Jonouchi.

 _"That's not funny!"_ he thundered.

"Aw, come on!" Jonouchi gasped, collapsing to the floor. "I've been waiting for someone to do that to me the whole time we've been here! You're just mad because someone got to you first!"

Yami glowered, but went back to his original business of flipping the light switch.

Dusty four-poster, dusty furniture, general look of disuse. A guest bedroom, but maybe not one regularly used.

"Skellington's bedroom and workshops might be upstairs," Yami guessed, stepping back and crossing over to the other flight of stairs leading up. It struck Yami as odd that someone as famously tall as Skellington made use of a spiral staircase—it seemed too narrow for someone so tall.

It was also dangerously off-kilter—like someone had slammed into it at some point.

"I don't recommend going up there," Honda said from beside him, causing Yami to jump. "What?"

"You're Jo's best friend," Yami said calmly. "You know the best way to dispose of his corpse, right?"

"Of course," Honda said, not missing a beat. "I'm his best friend."

"I love you too," Jonouchi called.

Yami sighed, walked down the hall. Now that he was looking, the hall seemed…not ransacked. More like someone had had a fight in here. Did some of Thomas Montgau's agents manage to breach Skellington's security?

Or….

Administrator Carter had been on that film. That film had been made in the parlor.

The Administrators had had a mole.

Who was also working with his father.

Who had also told him _precisely_ how to get to the Administrator Library.

Yami slowed to a halt, thinking.

What kind of game was Administrator Carter playing?

Whatever he was up to, it wasn't being very helpful. Or maybe that was the point—try to snare him at the Administrator Library, but that obviously didn't work. He had been eyeing him when he went to see his father at work—maybe he had made Bakura entering the lobby, blew the whistle on him? What?

Yami turned, looked down the hall to see…not a head of white hair. "Where's Bakura?"

"Not listening," Anzu said, climbing the stairs. "He's busy pocketing all the reels and records."

"Idiot," Yami muttered, making quick strides down the hall so he could yell over the balustrade. "Bakura! What do you think would happen if you were found with those?"

"Ah, but you don't know the oldest and noblest of thieving traditions," Bakura yelled back. "Primarily: 'you're only in trouble if you get caught.'"

Yami scowled, walked back to Kels, who was looking at the spiral staircase.

"Who do you think is lighter?" she asked when he reached her side. "Me or Yuki?"

"Why?" Yami had to ask.

"I was thinking—if a couple of you held the stairs steady, someone light enough could make their way up there."

Yami considered the stairs in a new light. "Well, if anyone was to go up there, I'd rather it be me—we weigh about the same."

"You're ten pounds heavier, actually."

"What makes you so sure?"

"You mentioned it in passing."

"Did not."

"How much do you weigh soaking wet?"

Yami opened his mouth—closed it just as quickly. "Fine, fine. I still say I go up there."

"Are you going to lose ten pounds in the near future?"

"Only if I eat a slice of rhubarb pie."

"When did you see _that_ movie?"

"Read the book. My parents have a bunch of Stephen King books lying around."

"Okay, that's horrifying. If something happened to you, it would be more high-profile than if something happened to me."

"That's no excuse for you to go up there."

"Those stairs may barely hold me—they won't hold you."

"Then I guess we're not going up them."

"Question," Anzu said, cutting into their argument. "Can't you repair the stairs? Magically?"

Yami considered this.

"The Administrators turned to the Civic Branch to take down Skellington," Yami said finally. "That's pretty odd for a bunch of control-freak Magicians. That makes me think that maybe Skellington's manor _is_ booby-trapped—just against Magicians. It may be why the preservation spells are decaying. And I, for one, would rather not find out."

"So I guess I'm getting Honda and Jo to hold the stairs for me," Kels said.

"We just had this discussion—no."

"What'd I miss?" Bakura asked, finally arriving.

"Put them back, Bakura."

"Make me."

"Before I do, how much of the conversation did you hear?"

"A surprising amount, considering I know Magicians like their sound-dampening spells."

"More evidence that the place is booby-trapped against Magicians."

Anzu looked at the place in a new light. " _That's_ why it looks like there was a fight—Skellington was expecting a bunch of old fat guys to come after him, so even if he handicapped himself, he'd be handicapping them worse, and like you said, we don't know what he did; the casting Magician could have exploded, for all we know. But with Civil Agents…."

"Commoners in their prime, armed with guns," Yami said. "I'm surprised we're not finding bloodstains everywhere."

"Consider the dust," Kels said, indicating the house as a whole.

"So there could be ghosts here," Yuki said, causing Miho to meep in alarm again.

"There's no such thing as ghosts," Yami maintained. "And who's to say Skellington's own floor doesn't have its own share of traps?" he continued, looking back at the spiral stairs. "There might be something waiting to lop our heads off the minute we stick them up there."

"So no stairs for you?" Kels guessed.

"No stairs for you," Yami confirmed, shooing them down the hall. "Keep looking."

Satisfied that they weren't going to try the stairs, Yami wandered into another room. It, like all the others, had a thick layer of dust and an air of neglect. He glanced at the dusty four-poster—another guest room.

He turned, caught sight of movement, and jumped.

He chuckled when he realized it was himself in the mirror.

"Idiot," he muttered to himself; all that talk of ghosts and traps and bloodstains had spooked him more than he would have liked. He walked over to the dresser harboring the mirror and began examining the drawers. Locked. He bent down, one hand on the dresser table, running his other hand beneath the dresser. No key, as far as he could tell. Maybe if he used the skeleton key….

He brought his head back up and glanced at the mirror.

He took a double-take.

It wasn't him in the mirror.

There was a young woman there instead, a little older than he and his friends, mirroring his movement. She had brown hair cropped short around her jaw line, as was the style a long time back. Pale skin, blue eyes, faded lavender coat…and a sad look, like maybe he reminded her of someone.

He blinked. She had a faint blue aura as well. He cautiously looked behind him. No one. Did that mean…she was a ghost?

Not possible. Ghosts didn't exist.

He looked back at the mirror to see her, both arms crossed on the dresser, one eye closed in a wink. Ghosts didn't exist. And yet there she was.

"Hi," Yami breathed, not sure what else to say.

She gave him a little smile and stood up. Within the mirror, she crossed over to the opposite side of the room. She turned back to make sure Yami was still watching her, then held up a finger. She pointed it at him, and then at herself. The message was clear: _Watch me._

She reached down and pulled on one of the doors opposite him. One he had tried. It opened.

Behind him, he heard the corresponding door pop open.

All the little hairs on the back of his neck stood up.

She pulled out a little envelope and let it sit on the lip of the shelf. She turned back to him and gave a little smile.

Yami couldn't resist; he turned and looked.

There was the open cabinet with the little envelope sitting on the lip of the shelf.

He turned back to the mirror.

And saw himself.

The woman was gone.

He glanced around the room, rubbing the back of his neck frantically to rid himself of the pricklies. He went back to the mirror, glancing around the mirrored room.

Nothing. She was gone.

"Hey."

Yami spun his head towards the door.

Kels was standing there, a picture in her hand.

"Have you seen this one?" she asked.

Yami edged over cautiously, still glancing about the room. His gaze landed on the small envelope as he reached for the picture.

"Hold on," he told her, and went to get the envelope instead.

Kels looked at the mirror. "What were you looking at?" she asked.

Yami bit his lip. He didn't want to voice it, but the ghost-woman looked an awful lot like his girlfriend Anzu.

He brought the envelope over to the dresser and opened it, upending it over the dresser table. A key, some buttons, a flower, several small photos, and a couple of little folded pieces of paper fell out.

Yami flipped over the photos so the pictures showed. Some had people he didn't recognize at all, but a few had pictures of….

"Her," Kels said, pointing at one of the sepia pictures. She handed the framed picture she was holding to Yami. He looked to see the ghost-woman and Skellington, Skellington seated in a winged-back chair, she to his right, hanging on one of the wings. "She looks a little like Anzu, doesn't she?"

"Yeah," Yami said, taking the picture from her and trying to fish the picture out of the frame.

Anzu walked in. "Find anything?" she asked; it was a loaded question, of course.

Kels handed her one of the smaller photos. "She look familiar?"

Anzu accepted the photo. "It's me with a shorter haircut," she announced.

Yami finally got the picture out and checked the back. "'Teana Gardenier'," he read.

"Teana," Anzu echoed, flipping the photo she had back and forth. "Pretty name."

Yami glanced sideways at her. _Pretty woman,_ he thought, mentally comparing the similarities between her and Anzu.

Kels picked up the folded pieces of paper and unfolded them. They leaned in to read.

They were two letters, written in neat, looping cursive.

 _Dear Ms. Gardenier,_ the first one read. _I'm sorry to hear that. There's plenty of room here, with the added bonus of no irate neighbors. I won't push the issue, however, and sincerely hope you change your mind at some point. Sincerely, Y.S._

Kels flipped the second one onto the top.

 _Dear Ms. Gardenier,_ it read. _I'm thrilled to hear the good news (not that being evicted is good news). You'll have your choice of roo—_ here there were splotches in the ink. _Sorry about that—Miss Wicks informs me that her room is off-limits. Heph and Vul say their rooms aren't, but I told them you would most likely respectfully decline the offer. We'll be over first thing tomorrow to help you move! Sincerely, Y.S._

Kels held the two letters apart and compared them. "Look at the dates," she said. They did so. "They moved fast back then, didn't they?"

"So this was her room," Yami muttered.

Anzu looked up. "Her room?"

"I fou—the envelope was over there," he said, pointing. "This room definitely has something feminine about it—I think it's safe to say this is her room."

"Only one way to find out," Anzu announced, striding over to the wardrobe.

Kels gave him a funny look.

"What?" he asked.

"You started to say 'I found' but changed it," she said. "Why would you change your wording like that?"

Yami was about to answer when Anzu exclaimed.

"Bingo!"

They turned to look. The wardrobe was open revealing several women's outfits. Anzu had pulled down a lavender coat with blue trim and held it against her. "This is a woman's coat," she announced.

Not only that—it was _the_ woman's coat.

The ghost was Teana Gardenier.


	69. So It's Settled

**Chapter 69, everybody! In which Yami plots to do something stupid, the document tries to screw me up by changing "Anzu" to "Yami," and the writer has to get some more work in on the next handful of chapters—I've got a good fifty-plus pages written out for the rest of Part 1, but none of it is consecutive. Daaah….**

 **For those who might not be familiar with the term: when a person is being talked about, it is said that their ears burn; it's kind of like how the Japanese say that someone talking about you causes you to sneeze (in which case, my Mom is apparently a hot topic).**

 **Movies this week are** ** _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_** **and** ** _Strange Magic:_**

 ** _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_** **—** **this movie would have really benefited from the two plot lines being more closely related (as is, it feels kind of contrived that Newt Scamander would just** ** _happen_** **to be in New York and misplace a few creatures just as some big thing happens there—if he had been called in as a consultant, it would have made more sense to me. And Word recognizes Scamander. _How..._ ). ****_However_** **—there is an actor who makes a very brief appearance towards the end of the movie (less than five minutes) who was not advertised, but made me and my family at least sit up and yell with glee. :D**

 ** _Strange Magic_** **—** **we were watching a bunch of movies on one of the movie channels and didn't much feel motivated to change the channel, so we watched this. It was actually really surprisingly good, although I called one pairing early on (which was funny when Mom initially said "get real" and then as the movie progressed, said "wow, you may be right"). I think it suffered from coming out at about the same time as** ** _Epic_** **, so people already had that one in mind for fairies for the year. Be prepared for a lot of singing, though.**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! And here I am with the opposite problem—working tapes but no working boom box. Because it's hip, that's why (and because everything old is new again). Maybe…and maybe. Good question—** ** _Max! Stop that plotting! It isn't healthy!_**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Yeah! Scared me too….Yes you are! I hope you had a good one. Yes…according to my story notes, Book 1 of the Magicians' Realm starts mid-August and concludes on Halloween night. This is true….**

 **FluffyIdiotIsI, thanks for the review! No, you're good. Yes…and yes…and yes…are you looking at my notes? Maybe. Good question—not too long, I don't think, but then again, there** ** _are_** **instances of relatives looking ridiculously alike (case in point: any male Baldwin). I hope this one pleases! :D**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes….I know, I hate that. It is! Now I just have to get off my dead rear and write it…wait, that would have me writing standing up. Eh…I used to like those miserable days too, especially when I wanted to watch a movie or read a book, but now I find that I much rather prefer a hot day. Of course, there's such a thing as getting** ** _too_** **hot…I prefer comfortable. And shorts. Hail? Oh my….**

 **References:**

 _ **Yu-Gi-Oh!**_ **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 _ **The Nightmare Before Christmas**_ **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 _ **Dharma and Greg**_ **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 _ **Criminal Minds**_ **© 2005 Jeff Davis (the other side of the Montgau family)**

 _ **Skulduggery Pleasant**_ **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 _ **Lackadaisy Cats**_ **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 _ **Casper ©**_ **1995 Brad Silberling (the house in general is honestly based off of Whipstaff Manor)**

 _ **Don't Starve**_ **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say pal, don't look so happy to see me!")**

 ** _Calvin and Hobbes_** **© 1988 Bill Watterson (Jenna quotes a Sunday strip in which Calvin sleeps on the roof)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

The party had wound down somewhat, and Rocky and Calvin had worn out both the video camera and the regular camera with which they were taking pictures with. Teana hoped she had evaded any embarrassing shots.

She and Yami, meanwhile, were sitting in the solarium on a bench, drinking tea and admiring the moonlight streaming in and generally ignoring the snores coming from the assorted people passed out on the couch, the recliners, and the floor. It occurred to her now why there were ground floor bedrooms.

"So," Yami said, reaching for the teapot on the coffee table in front of them. "Aside from the party, how do you like it so far?"

"I'm not sure," Teana said. "Ask me in a week."

"Why a week?"

"Because I need to have time to ascertain whether or not I can stand the neighbors."

"You're not giving us a year? I thought you liked _years_."

"I _do_ —but not when I'm _living_ with people."

"Hmm," Yami noised, taking a sip of his tea—

And then promptly choking on it.

"What?" Teana asked, concerned; she thumped him on the back to try to clear his airways.

"It just occurred to me that we haven't even known each other a year yet, and yet here you are living in my house," Yami pointed out as soon as he could breathe again.

Teana opened her mouth to respond, was forced to concede his point, and settled for shaking her head. Oi.

"You could at least stop smiling about it," she told him.

"I'm so trying, I swear."

"It's not funny."

"It's at least a little funny."

"I'm still birdless."

"I'll fix that tomorrow—your little Starling friend is probably asleep."

"Probably wondering where I am," she muttered, sipping her tea.

"I told you, I'll fix it. There isn't a thing in the world I wouldn't do for you."

She stared at him for several long moments.

"Did you mean to say that out loud?" she asked finally.

"What? I would," Yami said. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Because we're still basically strangers?"

"You mean we haven't moved past that to acquaintances yet?"

She gave that some thought. "All right, fine, we have. That's still a lot of commitment you're stating."

"I think it's worth it."

"I think you're weird."

"It comes with the territory of being me," Yami said, extending a pinky when he sipped his tea this time.

"Weirdo."

"I love you too."

"Now I _know_ you didn't mean to say _that_ out loud."

"I did."

She looked sharply at him.

"Your jury is still out, but mine isn't," Yami declared. "I love you, plain and simple. And I'm willing to wait as long as it takes."

Teana gave it some thought, edging slightly away from him as she did so.

"I'll think about it," she said finally.

"All right, but I'm going to need an answer by the end of the year," Yami said, taking another sip. "That's when we get the new stationary printed."

"You haven't already pre-ordered _Mr. and Mrs. Skellington,_ have you?"

"Do you know they sell monogrammed towels?"

"You're hopeless."

"So I've been told."

Teana smiled, shook her head….

And after much deliberation, scooted closer to him on the bench. And then, after a lot more deliberation, she leaned on his side. He obliged by wrapping his arm around her.

All in all, not a bad way to spend an evening.

*/*\\*

Greg came home late again that night, searching for Yami and finding him…in his room. Okay, that was one hurdle down.

Now for the simple fact that he had had a whole day of brainstorming, and nothing had come to mind as far as telling him anything. Well, except the obvious: _hi son! Okay, good news, I know why you were held back. The bad news: you're related to the most reviled Head Mage of all time. But at least now you know why you were held back, right?_

No, nothing was forthcoming. But he had to say something; this had gone on too long.

So, he finally knocked on the bedroom door.

"What?" Yami's voice drifted out, rather flat.

"Can I come in?" Greg asked.

"Sure."

He came in, found his eldest laying on his stomach in his bed, staring out his window. From that angle, he had a spectacular view of the roof, but Greg suspected that he was staring at nothing.

"May I sit?" Greg asked.

"Sure," Yami said.

Greg sat down next to Yami on the bed. Okay, now what?

"So," Greg said. "Anything new you want to discuss?"

Yami glanced at him—yes, there was something—before returning his gaze to the roof and saying nothing.

"All right," Greg said. "Anything old you want to talk about?"

Yami's expression now said that was ironic somehow.

"How about we talk? With actual words?" Greg asked. "You know, conversing in more than monosyllabic responses?"

"You know, I don't really feel like talking," Yami said.

"Ah, he speaks," Greg muttered. "And I really couldn't tell."

They sat quietly as the sun faded. Maybe this was all Greg needed to do; let Yami know he was there for him.

"Why didn't they ever tear Skellington Manor down?"

Greg started at the sudden question. "Huh?"

"Skellington Manor," Yami repeated. "Why wasn't it ever torn down?"

"It's supposed to be cursed from the shingles down," Greg said. "Why? What brought this up?"

"We…well, we walked by it this morning and…the question came up."

Hmm. "I couldn't tell you because I don't know. Some things in life are mysteries, I suppose."

"That sounds suspiciously like a cop-out."

"So is answering a question with only one word."

"Touché," Yami said, rolling onto his back so he could look at Greg better. "Jonouchi said they cancelled Punkie Night."

"They did."

"Why?"

"Something about excessive celebrating," Greg said, scratching the back of his head. "I personally think they're just sore about the fact that they can't celebrate the way they used to."

"Throw their back out or something like that?"

"Something like that," Greg agreed. "You sure you're doing all right?"

"As well as can be expected."

"Again, that isn't really an answer."

"It sucks."

"I suppose that's an answer."

"Well, what am I supposed to say?" Yami asked, sitting up on his elbows. "'I can't believe I'm being punished for doing better than everyone else boo hoo woe is me'? It sounded stupid in my _head_ —why would I say it out loud?"

Greg waited a few beats. "Feel better?"

"A little bit," Yami admitted. "You sound like Anzu."

"Anzu is the girl from the Masquerade Ball?"

"Yes."

"Maybe you should hang out with her more."

"Funnily enough, she said that too."

"Smart girl—I like her already."

"I do too."

"So what _have_ you been doing all day?" Greg asked, leaning back. "For the record, it better not be anything you can't tell Kitty."

Yami looked at him in confusion before figuring out what he meant. " _Ew! No!"_

"Well, at least there's that. So what _are_ you doing?"

"Staying busy."

"Again, that's not an answer."

"I'm hanging out more with my little brother; that's something, right?"

"I suppose. I missed dinner the past two nights—is Yuki still in one piece?"

"Yes, he's still in one piece," Yami said, rolling his eyes. Greg looked pointedly at Yuki's empty bed, prompting Yami to continue. "He's on the roof right now, talking to some little magpie or something."

Greg grumbled as he stood and headed for the window. "I _told_ you about sitting on the roof," he said as he stuck his head out the window. Sure as sure, there was Yuki, precariously close to the edge of the roof. "Yuki! Get inside before you fall off the roof!"

"I was talking to Lil' Stevie!" Yuki said.

"You can talk to him later—now get in here!"

Yuki whined a little as he did, but it was preferable to him slipping off the roof and falling to his doom. Not that he couldn't be patched up at a Magician doktor if he broke something, but if he landed on his head and killed himself, nothing was bringing him back. And Greg would rather avoid that if possible.

"Okay, now that you're both in," Greg said, closing the window behind Yuki and locking it for good measure. "Go to bed. Good night you two; I love you."

Similar pleasantries were exchanged, and Greg left their room, leaving the door cracked a little, before heading to his own bed.

"So?" Jenna asked when he walked in, arcing an eyebrow but not looking up from her book. "How'd it go?"

"I think it might have gone rather well," Greg admitted, taking his cape off and working on his suit. "We talked, words were exchanged, conversation happened, I scolded Yuki for sitting on the roof again…."

"I was wondering how their clothes were getting so gritty."

"Wonder no more." Greg finished getting into his pajamas and got into bed, kissing Jenna on the cheek. "And then I tucked the boys in bed, and here we are."

"Here we are," she agreed. "So how'd he take it?"

"Some grumbling was involved, but I'd rather have that then a broken neck."

"Okay, maybe we should get on the same page: I'm talking about _Yami_ ; which kid are _you_ talking about?"

"Oh. We talked."

"And?"

"And?"

"And what did you talk about?"

"Girls, a little. And he hasn't been saying anything about being held back for fear of sounding whiny, apparently."

"And you didn't tell him."

"I didn't tell him," Greg sighed. "But at least we're doing better than we were."

"At least there's that."

*\\*/*

Maxwell had every intent of availing himself of one of the guest rooms for the night and then skedaddling the next morning before Yami woke up. With that in mind, he had switched over to tea long after everyone else stopped teetotaling. As it were, he was pacing past the solarium entrance when he spotted the 'lovely young couple,' as Mitzi styled it.

Maxwell styled it as playing with fire.

Maxwell watched them for a few moments, noting their positions in relation to each other, their body language—happily in love, watching the stars.

Made him sick, to be honest.

And while he was being honest, this was Yami being at his stupidest. Already on thin ice with the Administrators, although he didn't know it, and now courting a Commoner. Maxwell was surprised Yami's ears hadn't burned off yet, what with all the talk centering on him at the Administration Building.

Granted, she was good for him— _she_ actually had some bite to her, and right away, as opposed to Yami's longsuffering attitude. She and he together were honestly dangerous.

He shrugged, sipped at his tea, and continued on to the guest rooms.

So long as he could duck away in a timely manner, inner-office politics were none of his concern.

*/*\\*

Yami lay on his bed, staring out at the moonlight on the roof, long after Yuki's breathing had evened out.

Skellington Manor had, quite simply, left him with more questions than answers. And he honestly didn't know how he was going to get any more. Well, maybe the tapes—man, he hoped Bakura was careful.

But here he was, once again facing a wall. He still had ten months of his held-back sentence to go, and he had once again run out of things to keep him distracted. If only he could _talk_ to somebody about this!

But there was no one to talk to. No one wanted to talk about the Boogie Mage. And it wasn't like Skellington was—

Wait.

The idea that occurred to him then made his stomach writhe, like icy lizards were running all around inside. Summon Skellington—not in his entirety, just his skull. The skull was enough to talk to, despite the creepy _Hamlet_ vibe, and then he could find out what happened right from the horse's mouth! As soon as he reanimated it—which was a forbidden magic, but some notations on it were in the spellbook; he'd be able to reverse-engineer it easily enough with that.

Granted, this was dangerous—exceedingly dangerous. Even a skull could wreak havoc.

But he was _tired_ of living in the dark.

He wanted answers.

And so help him, he was getting them, one way, or the other.


	70. Summoning Skellington

**Chapter 70, everybody! And a landmark one in more ways than one….Sorry about not posting last week—combination busy/wanting to make sure this chapter worked. And…in order to make it work, it had to** ** _not_** **have the usual back-and-forth switch that the other chapters had—it interrupted the flow too much. So, presenting one of the few chapters in this story that makes use of FanFiction's usual spacers.**

 **This is also one of those chapters whose content I wrote early on, so it required a few more Band-Aids than usual; hopefully it doesn't show. ^^;**

 **Movie this week is** ** _Moana_** **, which is actually really good—and the songs are really good at getting stuck in my head and staying there (and yes, that _is_ Nigel from _Rio_ in there). And the chicken Heihei—that is how my chickens act. No exaggeration.**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, it's about time…and nah, he's insufferable enough without giving him that—why, just imagine: if she** ** _did_** **tell him that, he'd be so happy he'd shoot past the moon, and then we'd be without him! Which would mean that this would be the chapter where, a thousand years later, he finally touched back down on earth….Not trusting Maxwell is probably the smart thing to do, honestly….He's trying! It's just that making the leap from bored son to bored son summoning a dangerous dead Magician isn't exactly what Greg is expecting….Through a rend in space and time….**

 **FuffyIdiotIsI, thanks for the review! Ah…you had me wondering….True—what was that Sherlock Holmes said? If you eliminate the impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, is the truth? Hmm….I agree, I'm fairly certain these guys aren't that dense (saying that, they're about to make a bonehead move). And your observations about Administrator Carter are right on the money (and I must laugh at your nickname for the Administrators :D).**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! All right! :D I know—and then December isn't any less frantic. And these guys aren't even through October yet! D: Hmm…and yet your theory may be right on the money here….Maybe….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Of course! That's the mark of a good plan in fiction—the number of ways it can go horribly wrong. At least you're paying attention at work. ;) Yes, it really felt like they were trying to tell two different stories that had nothing to do with each other (great if you're doing a season-long story arc in a TV show, dicey if you're doing it in a FanFiction like a certain daft writer is right now [ah, reflexive insulting], but in a movie where everything needs to be wrapped up in two hours? Eh…). Go outside—being outside builds character. Heh—Mom was just complaining about being cold, and I told her Australia was warm right now. She wanted to go until I reminded her about the spiders. :P Melbourne actually sounds like Colorado, actually….**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 ** _Lilo and Stitch_ ****© 2002 Chris Sanders & Dean DeBlois (Scrump)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

 **Oh wow, that actually pretty short for this….**

It was the middle of the night when dry scratching woke Yuki up.

"Scrump, quit it," Yuki muttered into his pillow. No dice—the scratching quit for a minute before resuming. Ugh. He'd have to find the little doll and tell him about doing…whatever it was he was doing at whatever time of night this was.

Except when he sat up, it was to find that it was _not_ Scrump who was responsible for the noise.

"What are you doing?" Yuki asked, looking at the symbols Yami was writing in chalk on the floor.

"Either go back to sleep or get out," Yami replied, not looking up.

"If you make me leave I'll tell Dad."

Yami sighed. "Don't tell Dad; as a matter of fact, don't tell _anyone_. I'm planning on bringing back Yami Skellington's skull."

"Okay." Yuki laid back down to sleep, hugging Owley to his chest, almost asleep again when the implication of what was said hit him. "Wait, _what?_ " he squawked, sitting bolt upright.

"Not so _loud!"_ Yami hissed. "You absolutely _promise_ not to tell Dad?"

"Of course I won't tell. Now _why_ are you doing this?"

Yami brought his hand up to examine the chalk he was rolling between his fingers. "There's a few questions I have that I can't find in any book, and I obviously can't get the answer from someone else, so I'm bringing Skellington's head back to reanimate it and get some answers."

Yuki shifted his weight nervously, wincing at the squeak of his bedsprings. "Are you sure that's such a good idea?"

"What could a skull do?"

 _Plenty_ , Yuki thought. Skulls that could talk could mutter curses that did unspeakable things. After all those years in Limbo, Skellington probably would be willing to lash out at anyone that summoned him. _Unless_ ….

"What if you brought back the whole skeleton?" Yuki suggested.

"Excuse me?" Yami looked at Yuki, a look on his face suggesting that he seriously thought that Yuki had lost his marbles.

"Well, if you brought back the _whole_ skeleton, you could offer to bury Skellington properly once he told you what you wanted to know. I bet he'd be more helpful that way."

Yami considered it. "You know what? You're right. Why didn't I think of that?" he asked rhetorically before reaching down and wiping out a symbol, then replacing it with a different one. That done, he flexed his hand a few times before standing up and cracking his knuckles. "Right a wrong while we're at it."

"Can I watch?"

"Sure," Yami said, obviously brimming with confidence. "What's the worst that could happen?"

* * *

Yami Skellington felt he was slowly going insane.

It had been many, _many_ years since his bones had been banished, and they weren't good years. His friends and associates—and quite a few other people who had been banished there as well—were handling things in their own way, but he knew it wouldn't last much longer. Kineil, Spite, and Malice—to name a few—were getting into fights almost every day, and Heller wasn't the only one they had had to lock away for safety's sake.

So when he felt the tug of a summoning, he was intrigued, to say the least.

He examined the magic imprint of the spell, expecting one of the Administrators to be bringing him back, probably to make an example of him. He didn't recognize the imprint, but his interest had been piqued. He let himself go through the summoning.

Because, after all, wouldn't _they_ be surprised?

* * *

Yuki was holding his breath, and he was certain Yami was too. There was a swirl of dark smoke within the circle as the symbols glowed—it was _working_ —

Suddenly, there was a flash and the smoke solidified into a portal—one too big for a simple skull. A figure sprang from the smoke and landed in the circle dramatically, feet together, standing erect, one hand on his chest, the other outstretched, cape flowing behind him and slowly settling down as the light faded.

Standing there was the very-much animated and not-at-all-dead-looking Yami Skellington. Certainly didn't look like he had been burnt to a crisp and then banished to an alternate dimension. Gaunt and bloodless, maybe, but other than that, he looked like his picture.

 _And he was moving on his own._

"Yami?" Yuki asked nervously.

"Yes?" Yami hissed through gritted teeth.

"Is he supposed to look like that?"

"No."

"Is he supposed to be moving?"

"No."

"Yami?"

"Yes?"

"Are we in trouble?"

"Yes."

Skellington, meanwhile, had been glancing around, as though he was expecting someone else—or someplace else, if his expression upon taking in their bedroom was any indication. Yami put his hand on Yuki's chest and started to shove him back slowly, angling for the door.

The movement attracted Skellington's attention; his head jerked back as a stunned expression appeared on his face, to be shortly replaced by a broad grin. Yuki shuddered a bit; Skellington's grin seemed to stretch to behind his eyes, almost, not stopping where a grin was _supposed_ to.

"Well isn't _this_ something!" Skellington said excitedly, his deep voice frightening Yuki to no end. "And here I was expecting—well, you don't need to concern yourself with that. But a dimension summoning at your age! How old are you?"

Yuki was about to open his mouth when Yami stopped him.

"Um, no offense," Yami said, choosing his words carefully. "But aren't you supposed to be…well, _dead_?"

"I am indeed!" Skellington said, tilting his head and holding a finger up. "And I have been for quite some time. But you know the old-wives' tale? That if your bones are banished, your soul can't rest? I'm here to tell you that that is true."

"Oh," Yami said, tone saying he was quickly regretting his summons. They glanced down at the circle.

Skellington did too, and then swept his hand down and away. The circle dissipated into chalk dust in the wind.

"I must say, I am _extremely_ impressed with you!" Skellington continued conversationally, taking a few steps forward. Yuki realized that they probably had zip-defense against him. "You probably have a strong bloodline."

"A—" Yuki began, but Yami clapped his hand over Yuki's mouth.

"Be impressed all you want," Yami told him. "I actually summoned you here because I have some questions, and as far as I know, you're the only one with the capability to answer them. So, you can answer them, and when we're done we'll…um…we _were_ going to bury you, actually…."

"Well that was nice of you."

"Of course, if you _don't_ behave…." Yami trailed off there, making it sound significant, even though Yuki and Yami both knew there wasn't anything they could do against Skellington. Skellington probably knew this, even.

The dead man in question tilted his head, as though regarding Yami in a new light. Then, quick as a wink, before they could even react, Skellington snapped his hand out and plucked Horus—still in hat form—right off of Yami's head, revealing a haircut almost identical to Skellington's.

"Well well well," Skellington said, after examining Yami again. "That _does_ explain a lot. You must be related to my sister—you have her sharp tongue." He placed Horus back on Yami's head. "I'll answer any question you'd like, but I have a few other things I'd like to check up on first."

With that, he was out of the room, brushing by Yuki and leaving the sound of rustling leaves and the musty scent of an attic behind.

Yuki took a moment to whine at the contact before Yami shook him slightly, snapping him back to the present—oh, right, dangerous dead guy _on the loose in their house!_

Yami and Yuki took off after him, spotted his spiky hair disappearing down the stairwell, hustled down the steps after him as fast as they could without sending up any warning creaks. How did he even _move_ that quietly? Was he a ghost? That wasn't it—ghosts didn't have substance. Did they?

They reached the foot of the stairs just as Skellington opened the back door, a brief creak the only clue that he was even there. Well, that answered _that_ question—ghosts didn't use doors.

"Stop!" Yami hissed, skidding to a halt at the foot of the steps.

Skellington spotted him, grinned a little as he gave him a little salute.

"Nice try," he told Yami. "But you don't know how to put power into your words yet. Don't worry—with your talent, I'm sure you could do it in short order. For now, _ta!_ "

And then he was gone.

Yami rushed out of the house and into the empty, moon-washed yard. Yuki came out a few moments later, scanning the area in case Skellington decided to lurk next to the door, spotted instead Yami turning in a circle, trying to ascertain where Skellington had gone.

"Can you find him?" Yuki asked.

Yami had his hands out, but he was shaking his head. "He's hidden his magic—I can't trace him."

"Yami?" Yuki asked, in a small voice.

"Yes?"

"Are we in trouble?"

Yami sagged, and Yuki recognized the expression—it was the sort Yuki knew he got when he knew things were about to go south.

"Yes," Yami admitted finally, shaking his head.

Yuki swallowed hard, tried to peer into the darkness of the woods….

There was a dead man on the loose.

And it was their fault.

This was _so_ not good.


	71. Administrating Confrontations

**Chapter 71, everybody! Which goes about as well as you can expect….In other news, the computer tried to eat my document with an error message about whitespace and wouldn't let me open it—but the joke's on the computer! Because I LISTEN to my Mom and save my documents in three different places, including One Drive, and saved this one recently, which means that at most I lost maybe a page of work. Which is good, because there would have been** ** _MUCH_** **wailing and gnashing of teeth if I had lost this document—536 pages and counting….**

 **In related news: this makes the second chapter of this fic to make use of FanFiction's spacers, and is probably going to be the last for a long while. Savor it….Maxwell's dead cat reference, by the by, is a reference to the phrase "curiosity killed the cat." "Snafu" is a real word, is technically an acronym, and apparently originated with the Marines in WWII-one possible translation for the acronym is "Situation normal: All fouled up." Unless, of course, you're not concerned with keeping swearing to a minimum, in which case** **….Fun fact: I first heard the term on an episode of _Lilo and Stitch_. Yes. A kid's show. Might be safe to say they weren't aware of the full meaning when they included that (or maybe they did, in which case _seriously, Disney?_ ).**

 **Movie this week is** ** _Oz: the Great and Powerful—_** **I like to think that, during and immediately after working on this movie, James Franco switched his answering machine message to him going "** ** _I. Am. OZ! The Great and Powerful! Why do you seek me?"_** ***beep***

 **…** **And now I'm kind of tempted to make that** ** _my_** **answering machine message….**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! All right! Glad that read well. :D Eheh, yeah…"I want to panic, but that's not going to help here" kind of reaction. Oh yes indeedy…and maybe….**

 **FluffyIdiotIsI, thanks for the review! Mwahaha, thank you. :D Oh, I wouldn't dismiss him** ** _entirely_** **….Me too (I already have a couple of encounters written up, but I** ** _really_** **need to get everything smoothed out and in chronological order to get things working again). Good question—perhaps Yami Skellington is a** ** _lot_** **more powerful than the Administrators feared….Probably…actually, that's a good idea. *note to self: write that* Heheh, that's more Hephaestus and Vulcan's forte, honestly….Now all that there…might be very, very likely….Thank you! I hope to continue to please! :D**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Yes, I agree. Yes, he is! Huzzah! :D Eh, in retrospect, they should have just stuck with the head idea (what a sight that would make, his body bouncing around wherever it was until Kineil told him to knock it off and put his head back on. Which, honestly, is probably something he'd do on a slow day…). Yes! Mostly. And definitely. Oh yes—"Oh look! Relatives! Here, hold that thought—things to do, people to see!" Um…yes, actually…are you peeking at my notes?**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say, pal! Enough already!")**

 _ **Lackadaisy Cats**_ **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _Guardians of Ga'Hoole_** **© 2003 Kathryn Lasky (Punkie Night)**

 ** _Chicken Run_** **© 2000 Aardman Studios; DreamWorks Studios ("Oh, gnomes now.")**

 ** _The Mummy_** **© 1999 Stephen Sommers ("If it isn't my old pal Benny! I think I'll kill you.")**

 ** _Pirates of the Caribbean_** **© 2003 Gore Verbinski ("I may have deserved that.")**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

 _The more things change, the more things stay the same_ , Yami Skellington thought as he strode down the streets of Delvaire.

He had a leftover copy of the Delvaire newspaper in his hands, and after a minor exclamation at seeing the date, he started leafing through the paper, seeing what was going on in town after a thousand years.

 _A thousand years._

It had felt like longer.

One thing that certainly hadn't changed was how early Delvaire closed up shop. It was shortly after nightfall—eight-thirty, according to the trusty town clock—and all but one or two windows were dark and dim. Without the Lackadaisy Venue, there was no place for people to go after dark. Everyone was bedded down for the evening, except for a handful that listened to a late-night radio program or two.

He took comfort in that.

He certainly wasn't getting any comfort from the paper.

Subdued Harvest Festival? Absent Punkie Night? Rules and regulations that might as well included proper volume for sneezing? And what was this about "literature concerns"?

One thing was obvious: something had to be done.

But to do that, he really needed his friends, the very people who could counter the Administrators.

And to do _that,_ he needed a way to bring them back.

He turned towards the imposing façade of the Administration Building; he had been unconsciously heading for it the whole time.

And now he was going inside.

* * *

Administrator Mesthil was old, even by Magicians' standards.

He was nearing the two-thousand mark, which meant that he was revered to the point that no one bothered him anymore. Of course, no one bothered _with_ him anymore, but that didn't bother him—he preferred not being bothered.

Right now, he was shuffling down one of the Administration Building's many halls, lantern held aloft. It was one of his favorite pastimes, and he enjoyed hissing at anyone who dared trespass here at night.

Of course, this new generation was ruining everything. That Gregor Montgau kept trying to buck the system, and that son of his, Yami—well, he hadn't seen a heathen like that since—

A clatter in the archives room startled him.

He paused by the door to listen; he was definitely going to enjoy startling this one. He could hear him now: "Where where where—"

That voice sounded familiar.

"Let's see," the voice continued, a low murmur. "They opened up a small portal, I think, so there should be a way to reverse it. It _can't_ be just one way…."

Yami. That's who it sounded like.

Mesthil grinned. He was going to enjoy this.

He shoved the door open and held his lantern aloft. He bellowed into the room: "Just what do you think you're doing—"

The person inside turned around and straightened up, startled, allowing Mesthil to see him perfectly.

It was Yami.

Just not Montgau.

"…young…man…." Mesthil trailed off, horror settling in.

"I suppose I _am_ a young man compared to you," the specter said, taking a step forward. "Forgive me if I'm not being respectful—the last time I saw you, it was through flames."

Mesthil fell backwards, the lantern crashing to the floor, grasping his chest as he gasped out the name of the horror before him.

 _"Skellington!"_

* * *

Maxwell was back to annoying the other Administrators in the best way he knew how: putting the spells all out of order.

Granted, it was a thankless job, and one generally attributed to gnomes, but he assured himself that it was the little things that made it all worthwhile. He had to feel like he was doing _something_ —otherwise he'd go crazy. Er.

And unfortunately, he may have to give up on his current plot with the Montgaus. At this point, with interest apparently dying, nothing short of bringing the two Yamis face to face would—

 _"Skellington!"_

Maxwell nearly leapt clean out of his shoes at that—that had come from the archive room.

Grateful once again that he had chosen shadow magic as a discipline and assured of a speedy getaway if things went south, Maxwell eased down the hall and gingerly stuck his head around the shelf. A dark shape on the floor, with a lantern guttering out behind it. Not ominous at all.

Common sense dictated that he get out while the getting was good—he wasn't all that fond of dead cats. Straighten up—

And nearly drop dead on the spot upon coming nose-to-nose with one of the _last_ people he expected to see.

"Max!" Yami Skellington greeted, smiling blandly; Maxwell almost expected him to clasp his hands behind his back and start rocking on his heels like he used to. "So good to see you, and looking so _well_. I think I'll kill you."

It was said so matter-of-factly and was so far out to left field for Yami that it took Maxwell a moment for what he said to register—by which time he found himself a good foot above the floor, pressed against the wall and notably bony fingers digging into his throat.

"Why did you do it, Max?" Yami growled, voice gravelly. "What were you even _thinking_ , you…you _traitor!"_

Some detached part of his brain that was by some fluke still receiving oxygen wondered how, exactly, Yami expected him to answer that when he was currently having all the life choked out of him. Clawing at skeletal thin arms wasn't working, everything going fuzzy….

And then suddenly he was dropped to the ground.

He was smarting from the impact, expecting a blow to the ribs in the midst of greedily sucking in air—

Yami was gone.

Voices alerted him as to why.

"Mesthil! He's dead!"

"Search the area!"

Maxwell retained enough sense in his oxygen-starved brain to roll into a shadow and teleport away. It wasn't as good an option as standing up while doing it, and he really had less of a chance to control it this way, but he had to get out of there and his muscles were currently too much like jelly to be of use.

And of all places, he tumbled out in the little graveyard in town. Well, at least he'd be able to air some grievances.

In the meantime: air. Lots and lots of very important air, because he _really_ didn't like being that close to being _actually_ dead…which was honestly something, considering all the curses the other Administrators had put on him.

That kid…that stupid kid….

He dragged himself upright, using one of the headstones and muttering a muted apology to whoever owned it, stalked back to a specific grave, working himself up and trying very, _very_ hard to get his shaking muscles under control.

"Of all the stupid, _harebrained schemes,"_ he snarled, jabbing a finger at the headstone as he neared it. "I should have never listened to you! I _told_ you you were giving that kid too much credit! That—that stupid _moron_ went and summoned Skellington _back! Do you have any idea how bad that is!? One Administrator is already dead, and I was nearly joining him! In what universe was using that kid ever a good plan!?"_

He turned away angrily, hands behind his head and him trying to control his breathing. Here he was, arguing with a dead person; his life had long ago gone past surreal. Of course, he had almost been _killed_ by a dead person….

He had nearly gotten his breathing back to normal when a quiet voice finally asked _"Are you done?"_

"Oho, she speaks," he noised, turning back to the grave and not at all surprised by the little blue orb of light floating around it. "I will grant you, I had a general grasp of what I was getting into when we started; _being choked to death by a dead guy was not on the list!"_

 _"Are you saying you didn't deserve it a little?"_

"I'm not answering that question," he snarled, turning away and crossing his arms tightly. What was he doing? Skulking about in graveyards and plotting against the other Administrators had had its perks, and it had felt _good_ to give them the shaft—but now everything had come to a head, and he had had plans to be as far away as humanly possible from it when it did.

Except it had come to a head too soon—that stupid _kid_ ….

He winced and flinched back as the little blue orb was suddenly in front of his face. "What? _What?"_ he snapped, waving it away.

 _"I asked you how he was."_

"Words cannot accurately describe how furious he is. Understandable, all things considered. And the plan was you _explain_ things to him _before he kills me!"_

 _"You don't want an answer to that statement,_ " she replied smugly. Ugh.

"Well, I don't know about _you_ , but I'm getting out of here while there's still a here to get out of. The elder Yami was in the archive room, and since I _do_ know better, I know what he's planning, and that's going to result in a _lot_ of angry dead people running around."

 _"And?"_

"And that kid's lucky I don't have time to stop and wring his neck on the way out." Maxwell gingerly touched his own neck at that—ow, that was going to leave a mark. "Pass on the favor for me."

 _"You're not sore about that, are you?"_

"I'm going to _be_ sore for a while."

 _"No choking anyone."_

"That kid snafued everything."

 _"You're just jealous that he figured it out."_

"Oh _yeah, sure._ While we're tossing about obscenities, then: this makes the _second_ time you've fallen head over heels for some spiky-haired Magician and lost all common sense for it."

The light froze, blinked out—

Maxwell was suddenly struck _hard_ in the gut, hard enough to fold over on the point of impact as the breath wheezed out of him and he collapsed to the ground.

"All right," he gasped, turning his head so he wasn't sucking in dirt. "I may have deserved that one."

 _"Good."_ The little blue light was back, dancing around his head like it thought it was those little birdies in the cartoon. _"Does that mean we're back on schedule?"_

"We're back on a heavily accelerated schedule," Maxwell muttered into the ground, not wanting to get up. It wouldn't be the first time he slept in a graveyard. "Anything pressing you have for me before I run for all I'm worth?"

 _"I need you to open the ghost catchers."_

Ah, but of course. She'd have extra empathy for the poor spooks trapped in those jade thermoses. "Wonderful. Anything else?"

 _"Toss them and the soul catchers into the Ravine, and please, make sure they can't come back. I'll take things from there."_

"My, but aren't we getting cunning in our old age."

 _"Are you done?"_

"Very. Try to make sure no one comes along and buries me."

 _"If you don't want that, then I recommend getting out of here. Or do you honestly think he won't come visit me?"_

Oog. Right.

Maxwell struggled upright, managed to get relatively perpendicular to the ground before dropping away with no parting shot; he simply didn't have the energy for it.

He came out next to the bench he had camped out on a…was it a few weeks ago? He didn't remember—he really only had the energy to flop down on it, bone tired and trying _very_ hard not to aggravate his injuries. Someone coming up on him might think he had been mugged; he _felt_ like he had been mugged.

Yami Skellington was back. And whatever fate awaited one whose bones were banished, it had obviously worn away his patience and usual affability.

Words simply could not describe how screwed they all were.


	72. The Morning After

**Chapter 72, everybody! Yes,** ** _finally!_** **After a stinking three-month hiatus—sorry all. Most of my writing juice/time was being taken up by school, and then what was left was being demanded by another couple of stories. Fortunately, some of the mojo has recently returned to this story, so I can supply you all with another much-needed chapter. Now if only the rest of the mojo for this story was on the sections immediately following this one….**

 **On a much sadder note, our beloved Umbrella Cockatoo, Sammy Jo, died at the end of February—in lieu of flowers, please take a moment to hug your pet. They're just not around for as long as we'd like.**

 **Movies of note during that hiatus are** ** _A Monster Calls, Monster Trucks,_** **and** ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!: Dark Side of Dimensions:_**

 ** _A Monster Calls_** **– you will _cry_ during this. I'm sorry, but you will. We didn't know what we were getting into, hadn't read the book, and ended up clinging to each other and sobbing. But it has Liam Neeson in it, so….**

 ** _Monster Trucks_** **– mindless little fun film that felt more like it ought to be a midsummer flick instead of airing during the winter, and was most likely sponsored by Dodge. And we're pretty sure the lead guy is the new MacGyver.**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!: Dark Side of Dimensions_ – this movie is probably what restarted my _Yu-Gi-Oh!_ writing mojo—my local theater had a single showing, and I went dressed as Kaiba; appropriate, considering it could be titled _The Kaiba Movie_. Not that I'm complaining—after reevaluating the series from a writer's perspective (utilizing what I learned at Full Sail University), Kaiba is technically the strongest character due to his active rather than reactive nature (and yet I don't write a whole lot for him** **—must fix...)** **. And boy, did this movie have the (full) theater going—it felt like a long Saturday morning cartoon and knocked me back to being eleven. :D Best _Yu-Gi-Oh!_ movie yet, and gave a lot more closure to the series than the last season did. :D**

 **FluffyIdiotIsI, thanks for the review! Eh, Maxwell probably deserves what he gets. Yes….And yes and yes—Yami Skellington is currently skin and bones and clothes and hair (nothing destroys** ** _those_** **follicles) with magic filling in the gaps (and his eyes are still there, so it's not just sockets). If you've read the** ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **series, Yami's currently operating on the same basic principle as the Hollow Men: skin, bones for structure, and magic keeping him looking like he usually does with mass and the like—except, of course, without muscles, there's nothing keeping his smile stopping where it's** ** _supposed_** **to, so we have that Skellington grin going on there. Yes, like a lobster! But the Administration Building has no lobster door….Yes, that would be interesting….Thank you! Although my problem seemed to be a combination of block on this one/no block on another one (I've got over three hundred pages written on another fic that isn't remotely close to being ready for posting on here—ah, me…).**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Indeed! Mom saves the day again (she told me to start saving on that). No he's not—twelve. There are thirteen Administrators, counting the Head Administrator (on Greg's side, there's twelve Grand Mages and one Head Mage). No, but Yami has a plan….Yes! That came out of nowhere (I didn't really have it planned in the initial scripting, but in writing it came and I just went with it). Possibly….**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! When I get my cell phone working again, I will (now I wonder if Dr. Oz has that as his answering service…). Mine too! Wore the tape out and am now working on wearing the DVD out….Yes…and maybe. :) Oh my goodness yes—vengeance will be** ** _theirs!_**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes….Don't worry about it—considering how hard _I_ fell off the wagon….Merry Christmas, happy New Year, happy Valentines, happy Mardi Gras, and happy Ash Wednesday (and Lent and Daylight Savings Time, for good measure). Yes…it works in real life, because real life is like that, but in fiction people expect things to be related somehow (I think part of what made _Cloud Atlas_ such a hit was the fact that all the disparate stories had little connections—don't watch that movie, by the way). We've been having hot weather too—and now it's snowing. Go figure. Yes, well, Mom hasn't been overly fond of spiders since one bit her in the middle of the night, so….Colorado is generally arid and dry, being mostly desert and mountains, and the weather changes in a heartbeat—from freezing cold to boiling hot in a day. Just really odd weather in general. Yes, now that it's finally here** **….**

 **References:**

 _ **Yu-Gi-Oh!**_ **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 _ **The Nightmare Before Christmas**_ **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 _ **Dharma and Greg**_ **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 _ **Skulduggery Pleasant**_ **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages, and one China Sorrows)**

 _ **Don't Starve**_ **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say, pal, my ears are burning.")**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 _ **Guardians of Ga'Hoole**_ **© 2003 Kathryn Lasky (Hagsfiends)**

 _ **The Sound of Music**_ **© 1965 Robert Wise ("The hills are alive with the sound of** _ **music!**_ **"** **)**

 _ **Calvin and Hobbes**_ **© 1985 Bill Watterson ("I want a** _ **good**_ **story.")**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

He couldn't quite bring himself to visit her grave. In the end, it just seemed so… _final_.

So he spent the night in Hagsfiend form, roosting in the pecan tree next to Teana's old apartment. It had been shorter than he was back in the day, but now it towered over the building.

And as he roosted, seeing as how he didn't need to sleep anymore, he reflected on the events of the night. Relatives. He had surviving relatives. Or at least, he _thought_ they were related to him—if they weren't then it was just unfortunate choice of haircuts, and he doubted their parents would have stood for that.

He wondered if his sisters were all right.

He ruffled his feathers, tried to gloss over the meeting with Mesthil and Max—but Mesthil would be getting whatever reward he deserved now. And Max….

He really truly could have killed the man.

Okay, feather-ruffling wasn't doing it—full-body shake. Okay. A little better. Now. Main focus for the day—evade all attention whatsoever. Bird form would probably do it—if not that, then a cat, because after all, who ever gave strays a second glance? And then tonight, sneak into the Delvaire library—because the Delvaire library was run by one China Sorrows, whose collection beat all and ended all.

And included one very particular blueprint for a very particular magical construction—one that would override whatever seal the Administrators put on that dimension.

Ruffle his feathers, look around—in a few hours the sun would rise.

He heaved a sigh—this would be a long day.

*\\*/*

Teana woke up feeling much refreshed.

It took a few minutes of disorientation to realize that she was _not_ in her dinky apartment, that yes, the room was supposed to be this big, and no, she had not shrunk in the middle of the night. Nice four-poster, fluffy pillows, soft sheets…and daffodils honking at her from the bed stand.

"I suppose," she said to them, regaining some of her faculties. "Now that we're _here_ , I ought to plant you two back with your family."

The daffodils honked again.

She sat up, wiping the sleep from her eyes and taking stock of her situation. She was technically living in Yami Skellington's house. There was nothing weird about that, _nooo…._ She was a renter. Who happened to be dating the person she was renting from. And if Yami tried to eke out of her paying rent, he had another thing coming.

Meantime—stretch, get out of bed, go freshen up in the bathroom…important things. Which were needed to get started with the day. Which, she noted, was taking longer now that she had finally bowed out of her other two jobs (which had fortunately been genial and had, at worst, had Mr. Tern complaining that he'd have to teach someone new how to mix drinks) and was now working solely at the Revue. Granted, working at the Revue had her up nights due to the hours, but she was used to working that hard and not getting a whole lot of sleep—maybe her body was finally working on catching up.

When she finally exited the bathroom, feeling properly awake and dressed and freshened up, she crossed over to the balcony and threw open the French doors. Not raining. Yay, she didn't pull a Yami. And look at that sun shining! What a glorious day, and she was _not_ mentally singing "The Sound of Music" in her mind _nooo…._

Chirp.

She looked to see a very familiar Starling alight on the balcony railing.

"Lil' Stevie," she greeted, smiling broadly as she walked gently over to the balcony. "What are you doing here?"

Lil' Stevie chirped, which could either mean that Yami had escorted him over, or _why do you not have donut?_

"I don't have a kitchen in my room," she explained. "Apparently, there were _incidents._ "

Lil' Stevie chirped again, which probably meant _that is not my problem now where is my donut?_

"I'll get some breakfast and meet you on the lawn, how's that?" Teana asked.

Lil' Stevie tipped his head, as though considering this, before chirping again and flying down to the lawn. Teana translated that as a yes.

Now here was hoping the kitchen was not currently occupied.

*/*\\*

Yami and Yuki Montgau sat on the porch swing, frantically trying to deduce where Skellington could have gone. There had been _no_ sleep last night.

"Maybe he went to the Administration Building?" Yuki supposed, blearily rubbing his eyes.

"Or a hundred other different directions," Yami muttered, his voice muffled by his hands, where his face was currently buried. " _I_ personally wouldn't want to be anywhere _near_ the people who killed me."

Yuki thought on that, reflecting that Yami had a point. Skellington was probably on the Western Chaos Coast by now then.

Yami suddenly looked up in horror.

"Unless—" Yami blurted, then swallowed the rest; their father, Greg Montgau, had come out onto the porch.

"Oh, there you two are," he said, continuing off the steps and down the street. "I'm off to work—"

 _"NO!"_ Yuki and Yami both yelled, leaping to their feet—Yuki had pieced two and two together as well—causing their father to stop, startled.

Yami recovered first.

"It's just that—well," he hedged, sounding like he just grasped at the first thought that occurred to him. "We were just thinking how we don't spend enough time together as a family, and _when_ exactly was the last time you spent some _quality_ time with Mom, like a whole _day_ —"

"Sunday," their father said, staring at them. "Are you two feeling all right?"

"Um," Yuki noised, thinking.

"We're fine," Yami said; something in his tone told Yuki that he had hit on a plan. "Go on then—we'll just be here, quietly growing up at an unbelievable rate, never spending much quality time with our dad, who's always working."

Their father chewed his lip for a bit. "You've been talking to Grandpa Montgau again, haven't you?" he asked finally.

"Maybe a little."

"Fine, fine," he said, turning around and walking back in. "Let me call the office."

Yuki turned to Yami, who was busy heaving a sigh of relief as he collapsed back onto the swing. "Now what?" Yuki asked.

"I have absolutely no idea at this point," Yami admitted. "Right now, I'm making this up as I go."

"We need a better plan than that."

"Tell me something I _don't_ know."

Yuki honestly wasn't certain what would qualify for that—wherever Skellington was would be nice, except Yuki didn't know either. And Yami's plan was temporary at best.

This was _so_ not good.

And then their father was suddenly running out the door and down the front steps.

"Hey! Wait!" Yami exclaimed, back on his feet. "Where are you going?"

"Sorry guys, but I have to get to work," their father called over his shoulder as he dashed down the street. "They just found Administrator Mesthil dead."


	73. Early Birds

**Chapter 73, everybody! In which we act like we're going to start entertaining a regular schedule again, a reference to that new Delta commercial comes into play, and I curse this stinking document. Randomly, it'll change to first person, or change one character's name to another—tonight, I was treated to having to re-edit the whole section I had typed up the last time I had worked on this, seeing as how the document saw fit to change all instances of** ** _Yami_** **in that section to** ** _Anzu_** **. And it's saved in the cloud, so I can't exactly blame my cruddy dead Dell or anything like that. Why?...**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! It's good to** ** _be_** **back! :D Yes it was—I know, but it left me super-jazzed for the rest of that day. Ah, but I didn't say he was the character most worthy of emulation: I said he was the strongest character from a** ** _writing_** **perspective. Kaiba is what Full Sail University would call an active character—his actions cause the plot, and when plot happens to him, he does everything he can to put the ball back in his court. Yugi** ** _is_** **the heroic character, and the one worthy of emulation—but even in the DSoD movie, Yugi is a reactive character; that is, plot happens and then he reacts to it (after covering that in class I went back to my stories and examined them—Yugi in** ** _CAD_** **is extremely prone to this, as he doesn't actually instigate anything). We were taught that reactive characters aren't as strong from a writing perspective, and it takes a lot of work to make them work—but as you can see with the example of Yugi, when they do work, they still work well. :) Yes, I kind of feel bad for Yugi—"When I graduate, I'm going to move someplace where Kaiba can't find me and randomly demand duels from me."**

 **FluffyIdiotIsI, thanks for the review! YES! Bad things happen when the birdie does not have his donut. I can imagine that, actually….Although it might start with Teana noticing Yami and saying "What are you doing?" I was actually a little stuck as to what to write next for those two—Kineil kicking them out of the house seems like a nice start, thank you (one of your earlier reviews actually inspired portions of this and the next chapter, so thanks for that as well). :D Yes! They're so beeped that it's not even funny. Oh, there's going to be jokes like that, don't worry….Haha, I was actually thinking of that line from** ** _Lilo and Stitch_** **when you first suggested the lobster—"Lilo, you** ** _lolo_** **—do we have a lobster door? No. We have a** ** _dog_** **door—** ** _we are getting a dog!"_** **Although I can see an administrobster lurking by the door and waiting to pinch someone like Maxwell on the ankle….Yes….Actually, I** ** _do_** **have a couple of playlists for the story (and I've tried writing traditionally before—it always ends with "I have a computer—what am I doing?"). I do write in patchwork fashion—writing the chunks that I already know and then stringing them together—although it does leave me high and dry on occasion. I think it was less of that and more of another story just muscling this one out until I wrote it all out. And then waiting for these guys to come back. I'll try! ^v^**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Wise counsel….Ah, thank you—I was really frustrated with myself, since I didn't want to be one of those writers who leave things for months, but other stories kept demanding what little free time I had (on the positive side, once I get some of my current stories finished, I might have enough to start publishing one of them). And good news, the Mac is fixed, so Glint and company is back as well. :D Oooh, lucky—it only showed once at my local theater (but it was rewarding). And that—is why my parents did** ** _not_** **accompany me into the theater (Mom watched the first** ** _Pokémon_** **movie in theaters with me, and I think that was enough anime for her to last her lifetime). Oh my goodness yes—so glad I dressed as Kaiba; it was ironically appropriate (or appropriately ironic, if you prefer). This is true—flatly denying anything supernatural, and the finding out that the guy who challenged him and his abilities on a regular basis just walked off into the light…and yes, that did feel like the series' true ending (I'll maintain it until my dying day: the last season didn't feel properly coherent enough to feel like a last season—dump all this new information on us, not focus on the main characters, and then** ** _bam_** **, done). Yes—we were told point-blank at Full Sail University that our dialogue was to** ** _not_** **sound like real dialogue; if it did, it would end up with a lot of hems and haws and half-started threads that never go anywhere. I know, right? And my Mom informs me that my grandfather said that the worst snowstorms he ever saw were in March and April, so….True.**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 ** _Guardians of Ga'Hoole_** **© 2003 Kathryn Lasky (Hagsfiends)**

 ** _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs_** **© 1938 Disney ("Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, tis off to work we go")**

 ** _Bicentennial Man_** **© 1999 Chris Columbus (Yami quotes Andrew—and it's directed by the same guy who did the first two Harry Potter movies—how random is that?)**

 ** _Calvin and Hobbes_** **© 1985 Bill Watterson ("I look forward to when we can get our morning jolt from coffee.")**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Yami Skellington had managed to doze off a little—if nothing else, because boredom and mental overstimulation tended to do that. Plus the fact that he was in his home dimension once more—his magic was resonating with the natural magic and rebuilding itself—

Door opened—people were starting their days. Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, tis off to—hello.

Either he had really truly gone mad during his banishment, or the spitting image of Teana herself had just passed beneath him, sensible shoes tapping against the cobblestone as she hastened away in that very Teana-like way of hers.

It couldn't be. It just couldn't.

That didn't stop him from winging after her.

He kept a respectable distance, easy enough to do by simply gliding along and adjusting a feather or two when necessary. When her final destination became evident—the Delvaire Public Library, how convenient!—he lighted down on the stone railing ahead of her. Ta-da!

She spotted him, blinked, jerked her head back. Ah, so he surprised her! And she recognized him! Maybe it was—

"Horus?" she asked. "What are _you_ doing here? I didn't think Yami got up this early."

Horus? And better yet, _Yami?_

"Ah, no," he said. "Guess again."

"Oh…kay, so hat-birds are more common than I would have guessed."

Do what? "No, no, no—I'm not a hat-bird! Don't tell me you've never seen a Hagsfiend before!" Not when Hagsfiends tended to flock to Magicians to employ themselves as familiars! Delvaire should be choked with them!

…Come to think of it, he hadn't seen any around….

"A _Hagsfiend?_ Is that what you are?"

"More or less. You must be very impressed, I'm sure."

"It explains Horus' attitude. So where do you come from?"

"Up north." Which wasn't a lie—Hagsfiends tended to come from tundra locations, and Yami _did_ hail from north of here originally. "You seem remarkably nonplussed about talking birds."

"I have a friend whose hat turns into one. And then he turned another friend of mine's ribbon into a bird, so…."

"Ooh, he must be _very_ talented—what's his name?" he asked, stepping higher up the stone railing with interest.

"I get the feeling you already know— _Yami."_

He very nearly fell off the railing at that—she—she—

" _How?"_ was the only part he could get out at the moment.

"I think it was the way you were fishing for compliments."

"Yes but—you actually look _younger!_ How'd you do that?"

"Flattery gets you nowhere."

The only thing he could do was sit there and tip his head at her, first one way, then the other. Just…just….

No. No, he had—she had—she couldn't have—

"Are you speechless now?" she asked. "Because as great as that is to see, I really do have to get to work, you know."

That right there—it was so _Teana_ —

" _How?"_ he had to ask. "Just… _how?"_

"Because I answered an ad in the paper? You're really not making any sense."

None of this was. Did he in his younger years ever live in Delvaire with a little lookalike and try a dimensional summoning? This was all very confusing.

"I think I just blew a few fuses in my brain," he said finally.

"You look like it," she said. "So now what? You un-bird and walk me in? Or haven't you figured that out yet?"

Un-birding. That might be a good idea. Except, you know, for the little fact that he was supposed to be hiding.

But….

"I think I'll keep the feathers on for now," he said, looking down at himself. "It's very refreshing."

"I was going to ask you what happens to your clothes, but now I don't want to know."

Yami looked down at himself once more, considering. "You know, I'm not really sure."

She rolled her eyes, smiling, and headed up the steps. "Well, see you later."

"Hey!" he said, making a snap decision and flying after her. "Why don't I come with? I could perch on a bust while you work and say _nevermore_ repeatedly."

"Sounds entertaining."

"It is—especially if I sit extremely still and let everyone think I'm stuffed." And it would give him the chance to observe without putting his foot in his mouth like he usually did.

"You are _very_ weird," she said, stepping in. "All right, but don't make a mess."

"I'm offended you would even think that," he said, lofting in and turning a circle as she shut the door.

He made sure to take a deep breath and scan the rows as he followed her deeper in. Not now, but later, definitely.

And in the meantime, he could get down to the mystery of who she was and how she was here.

*\\*/*

The kitchen was not occupied, which gave Teana plenty of time to root through a few cupboards and put on some coffee before leaving through the front door and walking around to the side lawn; it seemed like the safer option.

Lil' Stevie hopped over to where she stopped.

"I found bread," she announced. "So you'll have to settle for that until I can get back to Fifer's."

Lil' Stevie chirped at that declaration. Teana had the feeling he didn't much care one way or the other.

She kneeled down next to him, pinched a piece of bread off the loaf before flicking it near him. He hopped over to the bread piece and ate it, head bobbing as he swallowed. That done, she repeated the action, until Lil' Stevie's little belly bulged.

"No, you've had enough," she said, when he chirped at her. "Look at you—you're fit to burst."

Lil' Stevie chirped again, bounced around the yard as she stood and tore a chunk of bread off to nibble on herself. Well, at least he was happy.

Of course, she wasn't sure what, exactly, she thought about all this. It was...a lot to take in, to say the least.

Lil' Stevie flew up to her shoulder and chirped in her ear.

"This is new," she observed. "And what are you doing there?"

Lil' Stevie chirped again.

"You can't have any more bread—you'll explode, and that'll be very messy."

Another chirp, and then he settled down on her shoulder like he intended to stay there. Teana sighed at him, before taking in her surroundings properly. The crisp air blowing down from the mountains smelled like rain, the sky was bright and clear, and every so often a scent from town would make its way over—cinnamon, she thought. Really the only hint of fall at the moment—the trees were still a bright green and the air was still warm. Indian summer, maybe.

"Now isn't that a beautiful sight!"

Teana turned to see Yami Skellington at the balcony on the highest level, next to the observatory turret.

"They _are_ more impressive up close," she called up. "Or were you talking about something else?"

Yami tipped his head. "I think maybe we're having two different conversations."

"Maybe if we weren't having them thirty or so feet apart."

"Easily solved," Yami said, snapping his fingers—

And then vaulting the balcony railing.

Teana's heart studdered in the brief moments between him doing that and morphing into a bird, swooping down, and lighting on the lawn as a human.

"Ta-da," he announced, arms spread and pleased with himself.

She had a moment of indecision, where she didn't want to knock Lil' Stevie loose and her other hand had bread in it—transfer the bread to the other hand so she could whack him repeatedly on the chest.

"Don't _do_ that to me!" she scolded. "Normal people don't jump off of balcony railings!"

"I had thought we established I didn't qualify as _normal_ ," Yami said, sounding amused.

"That's no excuse—what if some kid saw you do that and tried it?"

"I should hope his parents would stop him. Are you okay?"

"Do I _sound_ okay? I want my morning jolt from coffee, not you."

"How depressing," he noised, before noting Lil' Stevie. "You have bird on you."

"Yes, I noticed—we were working on breakfast," she said, indicating the bread. Lil' Stevie chirped to punctuate the statement. "Although I'm wondering how he got here."

"I told you I'd go fetch him—he was sitting on your old sill waiting for you."

"I _told_ you the next tenant wouldn't feed you," she said to Lil' Stevie. Lil' Stevie chirped at her and snuggled into her neck.

"I really don't think food had anything to do with it," Yami said, rocking back on his heels and smiling at the whole event. "I'll have you know he asked for _you_ specifically. Donuts were an afterthought. Speaking of—breakfast? If we hurry it won't be cooked by Kineil or the boys."

"I'm all for any food they haven't cooked," Teana said, trying to shoo Lil' Stevie off her shoulder.

"Leave him," Yami said, waving her attempts off and escorting her back to the kitchen. "I don't think a little bird is going to be a big deal."

Not when the owner of the house turned into a big bird on a regular basis. "I'd like to get it out in the open right now," she said, jabbing Yami in the ribs with a finger. _"You_ are never allowed to perch on my shoulder."

"But I was looking forward to that," Yami mock-protested, holding the door open for her.

"I mean it—no perching."

All right—I suppose if you insist. You have to leave the spot open for Lil' Stevie, after all."

"Yes, it's a reserved seat."

Lil' Stevie chirped happily, and Teana smiled at him.

So far, not a bad way to spend a morning.

Although she doubted that would continue to be her sentiment when Yami's gaggle of friends woke up.


	74. Nevermore

**Chapter 74, everyone! In which we have an extended Poe reference and two entirely different conversations….**

 **Movie this week is** ** _Jeepers Creepers 2_** **, which I watched part of with my Mom this past weekend. We spent a good chunk of it either not looking ("Ew! Tell me when it's over!") or critiquing how horror movies are done in general, which is best summed up by that one GEICO commercial: "If you're in a horror movie, you make bad decisions. It's what you do."**

 **In other news, I'm done reading** ** _The Fifth Wave_** **—not finished, just done. Couldn't get much past the mother's death being described** ** _in detail_** **. Which was the book that rounded out the whole dark edgy young adult bestseller list that I slogged through (you know,** ** _Twilight, The Hunger Games, Divergent, Maze Runner)_** **, and cemented our family's rule of "Four stars bad, two stars good." Seriously.**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, they do. :) Yes, that'll be interesting to say the least….Soon, I hope—combination of scholarly demands and warmer weather has slowed it down, plus I'm wanting to make sure that I wrapped everything up right…and looking at the calendar, I don't think I want to post a finished chapter this Saturday (April Fools). But it's coming (and Dad's reading it now, which is both fun and kind of surreal—but he likes it). Yes, Kaiba does need Yugi/Yami as a foil—he's kind of like Maxwell in that regard: it's fun to see how they react to other characters, but in no way would I want them in my house. :\**

 **FluffyIdiotIsI, thanks for the review! Yes…although that probably didn't take much, if you ask Kineil. She might….No, there hasn't been, really—which might be a good thing, because I'm terrible at writing mush. :\ SHE DOES! :D Yes, brace for the other shoe to drop….Lil' Stevie has his priorities. And I'm using that, just so you know. YES! And yes—and that's a common problem. I think of that line every time I see the lobsters at the grocery store. :D Ah, I had been wondering….I've found that raking helps me, for some reason. And then the weather is rotten, so I can't get out of the house…maybe that's it….They do. Thanks! I'll be aiming for that and beyond! :D**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Haha, yes—you can thank FluffyIdiotIsI for planting that idea in my head. And nope—gaggle is fun to describe people with (although I think it's the technical term for a group of geese—would have to look it up). Yes—we've seen the** ** _Harry Potter_** **movies about a dozen times, and I** ** _still_** **have to explain things to Mom when we watch them (like why Voldemort does what he does—was the middle of the climax and Mom asked me why he was like that, and I just said "Because he's jealous of Dumbledore's hair—look at that old man, and Voldemort's bald at fifty." It was as good an explanation as any). Yes—it's why I was so careful to give several chapters to the ending of** ** _The Frost King_** **(and I still need to finish up the last chapter of that…): I wanted a proper denouement to the whole thing. And because something I read that stuck with me: "You learn more from other's mistakes than you do from their achievements." It does, really….**

 **References:**

 _ **Yu-Gi-Oh!**_ **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 _ **The Nightmare Before Christmas**_ **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 _ **Dharma and Greg**_ **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 _ **Skulduggery Pleasant**_ **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 _ **Guardians of Ga'Hoole**_ **© 2003 Kathryn Lasky (Hagsfiends)**

 **"** **The Raven" © 1845 Edgar Allen Poe ("Quoth the raven** _ **nevermore** **"** **)**_

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Anzu tried to keep a straight face while she was working.

It was difficult.

As he said he would, Yami sat on a bust next to a window she had opened to let air in, perfectly still with yellow eyes taking everything in. There were times she wasn't even certain he was breathing.

A few people had come in, commented on the overlarge bird on the bust, chatted a bit until Yami would indeed croak _nevermore_ , causing them to yelp in alarm. Oh, she was so dead when Miss Binder came in. But in the meantime, it was at least a little funny.

"I'm concerned that you don't have anything better to do," she said, after the latest frightened customer had scurried away.

"But this is entertaining," Yami protested—Anzu wondered if being a bird affected his voice any, seeing as how it sounded mildly different; she put it on her list of things to ask later.

"Well," she said, glancing around. "As much as I'm glad you've found something else to focus on…what did you think about yesterday?"

Yami tipped his head, looked away before looking at her. "I'd rather get your opinion first."

Her opinion…."My first thought is _wow, the guy had way too much space,_ followed by _obviously no one has bothered to dust here for a while."_

Yami coughed, like he was holding in a laugh—or maybe some other reaction.

"Second thought…I don't know, the film was a little weird, and it didn't really tell us much….Maybe Bakura will have better luck."

"I'm sorry, have you _seen_ Bakura? The man does nothing unless he's properly motivated."

"This is true. Which leaves the way the house was torn up." She gestured to some of the books she had been reading that morning. "I'm looking, but I'm not sure what could have been done to dampen the magic like that."

"Me neither," Yami said, sounding forlorn. And not in the _I can't figure this out I'm so frustrated_ tone—more like _I've tried and I've tried and there was nothing I could do._ It was the sort of depth she hadn't heard from him before.

"Don't worry about it—you'll figure it out," she told him, causing him to look at her and blink owlishly. "In the meantime—any chance of teaching me that? Or do I have to get in line behind Yuki?"

More blinking. "Do what?"

"The bird thing."

He looked down at himself. "Oh. Well, first you need to pick a bird you want to turn into."

"A pigeon."

"Do what?"

"A pigeon," she said, pointing out the window. "Like one of those, sitting on the Ancient wire."

Yami looked out the window to see the little gray and pink birds sitting on the thick black wires stringed above the library and hooking up to a huge metal tower. "That's not a _pigeon_ —that's a mourning dove!"

"What's the difference? They both go coo."

"Yes, but doves aren't considered flying vermin. Granted, pigeons aren't flying vermin, but there's no convincing some people."

"I see. So I picked a bird. Now what?"

Yami glanced at her.

"Are you sure about the mourning dove?" he asked. "Not that it doesn't suit you, but turning into more than one animal requires a lot of concentration and good memory."

"You don't think I can do it?"

"I'm sure you could—I'm just letting you know. So now you just learn as much as you can about them—size, weight, what they look like, how they move….That last bit you get from actually watching them."

"You have absolutely no idea how much time I spend staring out that window."

He looked like he was getting ready to answer—glanced away when he heard someone coming, and quickly went back to the stuffed bird routine.

"Ah, Miho," Anzu greeted. "You're late."

"It's not my fault," Miho protested. "There's some big hullaballoo up at the Administration Building—they found one of the Administrators _dead!"_

Yami jerked slightly before forcibly going back to his previous pose, but the action was not lost on Anzu. "What happened?"

"I don't know—they wouldn't tell a _Commoner,"_ Miho said, punctuating the statement with a _hmph!_ and a toss of her head—which was when she spotted Yami. "When did we pick _that_ ugly thing up?"

Oh boy. "I don't know, I kind of like it."

"Why?" Miho asked, poking Yami's chest—it looked like her fingers sunk in more than they should have on a healthy bird. "It's some weird, moldy, stuffed bird!"

 _"Moldy!?"_ Yami demanded, having apparently reached his limit of being insulted—and resulting in Miho screaming and taking off so fast she left a shoe behind.

"Did we offend your delicate sensibilities?" Anzu asked, once Miho's screams had faded—which didn't take too long, considering sound didn't really carry in the library.

"A little," Yami admitted, sniffing under his spread wings. "I am _not_ moldy—at least, I don't _think_ I am…."

Anzu reached out and poked him, surprised to find that beneath the bone and feathers he felt very much like a dead stuffed bird: unpleasantly squishy and lacking the warmth of circulating blood.

"Hey!" Yami protested, batting at her hand. "No poking!"

"Let's be fair to Miho: you _do_ feel like a dead bird," Anzu said, committing more fingers to the poking. "Are you _supposed_ to feel like that?"

"Gah! Stop! That tickles!"

Anzu resolved to _not_ stop, except she heard more people coming. "Oop—quick, compose yourself."

"Same to you," Yami muttered under his breath, fluffing his feathers and shuffling his wings before going back to his astonishingly still position—just in time for a harried-looking Miss Binder to arrive. Oh boy—Anzu wondered if she could telegraph to Yami that pulling it on Miss Binder would _not_ be a good idea, or if she could get the whole thing out into the open as fast as she could before it went sideways.

"Anzu, dear," Miss Binder said, patting her fox fur and fluffy cardigan. "I don't suppose you could explain to me why Miho was departing with all haste and screaming her head off?"

"We may now have a trick bird here," Anzu said, pointing at Yami.

 _"Nevermore,"_ Yami croaked.

"How appropriately literary," Miss Binder observed. "Although you should really be a raven."

"I should," Yami admitted, doing a sort of sideways nod. "But this is more striking."

"Indeed. I don't suppose you heard about the dead Administrator?" Miss Binder asked Anzu.

"Miho said something," Anzu said, before looking to Yami. "Should we be concerned?"

Yami's eyes flicked—there was something he wasn't saying, nor was he going to say it. "They _are_ fairly old," he replied.

"Yes, well, it's a shame, and people will lose their heads over anything," Miss Binder said, sighing. "Which brings me to my next piece of bad news—one of the Administrator Librarians has come for the spellbooks."

"To repair them, I hope," Anzu said, thinking of the growing stack of books in the repair ward in desperate need of a book doctor.

"I do too, but I find it doubtful."

Which was about the time the Administrator Librarian came in, looking to Anzu very much like a female version of cartoon Ichabod Crane wearing a dress, tight bun and haughty nose being her first impressions, clipboard and heels being the second.

"I noticed several books on our restricted list on the shelves," the Administrator Librarian sniffed, mincing over with sharp little steps.

"Ah, me," Miss Binder sighed, deflating. "But as I understood it, you were wanting the spellbooks in the back that need doctoring."

"They really do," Anzu said, sensing that Miss Binder was trying to direct this meeting.

"We need _all_ of them," the Administrator Librarian said, rapping her pencil against her clipboard. "We're reappropriating all of them until the new regulations come through."

Oi. Anzu cut a glance to Yami to see how he was taking the news.

In short: with a glare fit to kill.

Which was apparently not lost on the Administrator Librarian—she seemed to sense the malice, or maybe she just noted the odd black blot against the window; either way, she spotted Yami—

And let out a shriek comparable to Miho's.

 _"What is that thing doing here?"_ she screamed, flinging her clipboard at Yami and then quickly following it up with several books—Yami yelped at the onslaught and fled for the open window. _"Get out! Get out! Get OUT!"_

Yami did so with all haste, and Miss Binder managed to catch a book before it went sailing out the window.

Which then made it Miss Binder's turn to look like an angry bird, as she rounded on the Administrator Librarian—if she had feathers, they would have been standing on end.

"How _dare_ you throw books!" she railed. "And you call yourself a librarian! Same to you— _out out OUT!"_

Anzu was treated to a scene that looked very much like a furious round snowy owl chasing away a startled crane. Interesting, to say the least. She crossed around the counter and stuck her head out the window once they were gone.

"Yami?" she asked, looking around.

"Coo," one of the pigeons— _mourning doves_ —said.

"Before I continue, are you really Yami, or are you just a regular bird?"

"Coo."

"Right. I don't suppose you saw a big black bird fleeing with all haste, did you?"

"Coo."

"And I'm talking to a bird. Right. My name is officially Yuki Montgau," Anzu sighed, glancing around once more. Nothing. Just a black feather on the windowsill—

Which crumbled and dissolved into dust on the wind as she looked at it, sending an involuntary shiver up her spine.

What had just happened?


	75. Deadbeats

**Chapter 75, everybody! Hey, that's like some sort of milestone, isn't it?...**

 **And for the record—as I've found out over the years, this fic and a few others I'm working on have ended up being the place where I vent my frustrations over my first college. Editing the swear words out of books? Yup, first college—which is also where I first read** ** _Fahrenheit 451_** **; the irony of reading a book on censorship that had in itself been censored.**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! She worked out that the bird is Yami—she just isn't aware yet that there's two running around. Yes! And…it's complicated. Yami's soaking some magic in, but he doesn't have enough magical** ** _oomph_** **right now to keep a feather together once it's left his body—which again brings up the question of what happens to his clothes….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes….It is a fun word. :D Probably—but at least I didn't have to explain everything and just watch the movie. This is true….This is also true—I'll try to get that finished up soon….**

 **Thanks for the review, Guest! (FluffyIdiotIsI, is that you?). Yes…I think it's easier for Yami S. and Teana because they're older and have (mostly) gotten past the awkward stuffs and have prior relationships to draw off of—Yami M. and Anzu are, technically, still relatively children. Seto is…lurking. Quietly. Like a statue. But he'll be making an appearance again before the end of Book I. probably. Ha ha—I think there's a TV Trope about that….Heheh, I can just imagine one of the older group going "You look like us—stop it" and the younger group going "** ** _How!?"_** **Ha! This is true (never read it—Mom read** ** _one sentence_** **and literally tossed it back on the shelf). Hopefully (and that is true). Heheh…he is. That's coming up, don't worry. We're working on it….And I'll try!**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages, and Grand Mage Ravel—put in** ** _before_** **the latter books in the series, for the record)**

 ** _Foxtrot_** **© 1988 Bill Amend ("The ol' need coffee to make coffee paradox")**

 ** _Calvin and Hobbes_** **© 1985 Bill Watterson ("I think conversation should be kept to a minimum until noon")**

 ** _Chicken Run_** **© 2000 Aardman Studios; DreamWorks ("The chickens? Oh, gnomes now")**

 ** _How To Train Your Dragon_** **© 2010 DreamWorks Studios ("Trolls exist!")**

 ** _Atlantis: The Lost Empire_** **© 2001 Disney ("I got your four basic food groups! Beans, bacon, whiskey, and lard!")**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say, pal, you trying to kill me?")**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Actually getting to the Administration Building was an event in and of itself.

Somehow, word of the Administrator's death had spread like wildfire, and by the time Greg had gotten to the Administrator Square, it was to find it packed with spectators, rubberneckers, reporters, and just plain old morbid people. It took Greg upwards of an hour to actually wade through that mess.

When he finally _did_ make it into the Administration Building, it was to find that one of the Grand Mages had been watching through the window.

"Wow," Grand Mage Ravel said, looking at him. "I'm surprised you actually went _through_ that."

"Flying over would have been too ostentatious," Greg countered, dusting his suit off and straightening it back out. "What happened, and why was I the _last_ to know, apparently?"

"Because you didn't call your mother bright and early this morning like a good little boy?"

Greg tried to resist scowling at him, figuring he'd be using those muscles a lot later. "Oh, is that why that mob knows more than I do?"

"Probably. The cleaning lady running out and screaming the news probably didn't help."

"Uh-huh. And what are _you_ doing, pray tell?"

"What, you think I'm standing here for my health? I'm keeping the doors barricaded and everyone back—or did you think they were staying in the square proper instead of at the door out of respect?"

Fair enough. "Well, might as well assess the damage—where am I looking?"

Ravel lifted a hand from the sill long enough to thumb over his shoulder. "The Archives room. Apparently Mesthil was doing his favorite prowl when it happened."

Greg nodded once, sharply, before hasting off in that direction.

So much for a quiet week.

*\\*/*

Breakfast was a vaguely interesting affair, all things considered—mostly because Yami seemed to only really know where the toaster and the coffee was.

"Kineil does most of the breakfast cooking," Yami explained to her. "We boys aren't allowed to cook in the mornings anymore, due to _incidents."_

"Just so we're clear," Teana said, gesturing slightly with the knife she was using to cut the bread. "Is this that other incident, or was there more than one?"

"We need coffee in order to function. And then there's that little problem of _needing_ the coffee to _make_ the coffee, so…."

"I'm going to postpone my opinion of you people's competence level until after I have some coffee in my system."

"So you see my point."

"Chirp," Lil' Stevie said, from his perch on Teana's shoulder.

"What he said," Teana said, indicating Lil' Stevie.

"Okay," Yami said, a finger to his face. "That gets depressing when the _bird_ questions my abilities."

"The bird speaks the truth," Teana said, going back to slicing the bread. "And I hear that there's this wonderful thing in the stores now: it's called _sliced bread."_

"I've heard of that phenomenon," Yami said, putting the percolator on the stove and turning it on. "And I've tried it—it lacks the certain something of homemade bread, though."

"I'm pretty sure someone makes it."

"Gnomes, probably. Or trolls."

Teana looked at him. "Okay, I can't tell if you're being serious or pulling my leg."

"Trolls exist—they steal your socks, but only the left ones. And gnomes steal your tools, apparently—at least, if Heph and Vul are to be believed."

"Were they drinking at the time?"

"That might have been it," Yami admitted, opening the icebox and pulling out a couple of jars of jam and a bottle of milk.

"Okay," he said, depositing that on the counter and looking around. "I know for a fact there's sugar around here somewhere—I just have to remember where it is."

"I question your ability to run the country," Teana said, putting the slices of bread in the toaster.

"Running the country is easy—it doesn't randomly hide in different cupboards. I think Kineil hides the sugar just to be difficult."

"That _does_ seem to be her speed."

"Really, the only problem with running the country is dealing with the Administrators," Yami continued, opening cupboard after cupboard and scanning the shelves. "They keep wanting to pass new laws that don't really help anybody, and then they get snippy when I veto them. And don't get me started on trying to get rid of some of the _old_ laws that don't help anybody."

"Like what?" Teana had to ask, cracking the toaster open to check on the bread—she had used this kind of toaster before, and in her experience, it had three stages: not done, not done, burnt.

"Like regulating books and shows and things—people know for themselves if what they read or watch has no value. And classics are classics because they stood the test of time—the bad stuff will just fall by the wayside, and the good stuff will stay. It's the natural order of things. And telling people how to live is just insulting to said people— _children_ don't even appreciate being treated like children, so why would adults behave any differently?"

"You sound like you've had this argument before."

"It helps that some of the stuff I've caught the Administrators reading would make your hair curl. And the fact that some of the stuff they object to isn't really all that objectionable. Ha—did you know—they wanted to edit all sorts of books, take out the swear words. You know, the wash-your-mouth-out-with-soap ones? I just picked out one of the books on the list and told them to read it."

"Which one?"

"Ray Bradbury's _Fahrenheit 451._ Now _that's_ the epitome of irony—editing a book on censorship."

"Ray Bradbury—that name sounds familiar."

"Bradbury wrote _Let's All Kill Constance."_

"I _still_ don't get that ending."

"The Ancients were weird."

Teana considered that. "It makes me wonder what people will think of _us_ thousands of years from now."

"Good question—although the last time I asked questions at the breakfast table, Kineil told me to hold them until noon."

"What did you do?"

"What makes you think _I_ did anything?"

"Do I dare ask what prompted her ruling?"

"I was just wondering why we drink cow milk."

"I know a guy who drinks goat milk."

"Yeah, but do you know what the milk comes _out_ of? Who was that desperate?"

"I think I ought to reiterate Kineil's ruling."

"Marvelous," Kineil said, walking in—bare feet, pants, and a shirt. She took in the open cupboards, looked Yami up and down, and continued. "And what are _you_ doing?"

"Looking for the sugar," Yami replied.

"I put it in the fridge—ants were getting in it."

"You could have asked me to do an ant repellant spell."

"I could have, but it's more fun to watch you boys hunt. Sleep well?" Kineil asked, looking at Teana.

"Fair enough," Teana said, checking the bread again.

"Chirp," Lil' Stevie noised.

"I see. And what is this?" Kineil asked, nodding at the toaster.

"Breakfast," Teana replied.

"And that's it?"

"That's it."

"That can't be it. Where's the meat? The eggs? The potatoes?"

"This is usually all I have time or money for."

"But you _need_ those—they're three of the five basic food groups."

"I don't dare ask what the fourth and fifth are."

"Booze and lard. And then coffee for the necessary liquids."

"How are you still that size?"

"Kineil comes from the Texmex Republic," Yami explained, hunting in the icebox. "You know how we eat breakfast and then work until noon? Imagine work being translated as chasing cattle—she prefers food that sticks to her ribs until dinner."

"This is true," Kineil said. "And I didn't say the sugar was in the icebox—remember? We have a fridge now? That we plug in?"

"Oh, that's right. Where is it?"

"I hid it."

"Kineil…."

"Look in the pantry."

"I think _you_ ought to look in the pantry."

"I ought to," Kineil agreed, already heading out the room. "That way I don't compromise any of my hiding places."

Teana waited until she was gone before commenting. "Is this a daily occurrence?"

"Only when we don't get up after her," Yami said, tugging the percolator off the stove and letting it sit as it finished. "Kineil's usually up with the sun and off to the races before we even think about it."

"Are these those big guineas that I hear Viktor go on about?"

"I think she just goes and does her own thing."

"Oh," Teana said, pulling the toast out of the toaster and scraping the burnt part off. Lil' Stevie hopped down and started pecking up the crumbs.

"Why? What is it?"

"I'm wanting some more information on the big guineas—I'm kind of interested, but I don't want to travel all that way without having more information."

"Well, we could go over there sometime—make a day out of it."

"I'll think about it."

"Fair enough," Yami said, pulling two mugs out and putting them on the counter before setting a tea strainer on the first one. "So what do you want to do today?"

 _"You_ have work."

"I do," Yami said, pulling the grounds container out before pouring the coffee. "But it's not like it's all that strenuous. Mostly it's just bribing Max to filibuster until the rest of the Administrators get bored."

"That's a terrible game plan. Go to work."

"Okay," Yami said, handing a full mug over and nudging the milk over. "So what I have to do will probably take until noon, at best—what do you want to do this afternoon?"

"I want to see you actually work like a normal person."

"I notice _you_ only work about four hours anymore."

Oi. "What I do doesn't affect the fate of the civilized world."

"Oh, is that how we're describing my job now?"

"Yes."

"Chirp," Lil' Stevie said.

"Just—treat your job seriously for once," Teana said. "Work from nine to five, actually process what you're doing…file…."

"I can't work eight hours straight—I'd get bored. I'd get antsy. It's too much time spent with Max and the other Administrators."

"Humor me."

"I'll tell Max when I'm choking him that it's your fault."

"I think I'll manage."

"All right," Yami said, lacing his fingers as he propped his elbows on the counter and leaned over. "But tomorrow I get to take you on the town and all that. Take you to Bespoke's, lunch, other activities…."

"And during those eight hours you can get a more concrete game plan."

"I like that your answer wasn't immediately _no_."

"It was going to be, but I put my clothes in the closet and it's too roomy."

"Marvelous. I'll lock myself in my office and work out our itinerary then."

"You can't lock yourself in your office."

"I can't," Yami admitted. "Everyone knows how to either pick locks or spell them open. And Max just uses shadow travel to pop in."

"Okay, you people concern me."

"That seems to be a common narrative."

"There may be a reason for that."

"Oh, get a room!" Kineil demanded, alerting Teana to the fact that they had gotten mighty close in the last minute. And then joy of joys, she was glaring at them. Ow.

"Aren't we technically _in_ a room?" Yami asked, looking at her.

"Get a different room," Kineil insisted. "You're souring the milk and corrupting the bird. Better yet—beat it. Get out of the house."

"You can't kick me out—this is _my_ house."

"We've had this conversation. Now out. Out out out out!"

A few minutes later saw Yami and Teana effectively shooed out and the door slammed behind them. Teana was surprised her coat didn't get caught in the door, considering the immediacy of it shutting.

"She can't kick me out," Yami said after a few moments, matter-of-fact as he turned back to the door and knocked.

"Why are you knocking on your own door?" Teana asked.

"It's polite?"

Kineil opened the door, mug in her hand and glare on her face.

"We've talked about this," Kineil said. "Beat it."

And with that, she slammed the door again.

Yami scratched the back of his head before turning to Teana. "Well…now what?"

"Now _you_ get to go to work," Teana said, sipping her coffee—and grimacing. "And I get to go find a diner and get some sugar."

"I think there's sugar in the kitchen now."

"I'm not going back in there."

Yami reached for the doorknob—

Kineil opened the door and stuck her head out.

"Don't make me tell you again."

Slam.

"I'm gonna leave now," Teana decided. "Go to work."

"Right," Yami said, kissing her on the top of the head. "Love you."

She noted his expectant look. "I'm not kissing you on the top of the head—I can't reach."

Yami shrugged. "It was worth a shot. I must fly, I suppose."

And with that, he turned into a bird again and flew off.

"Oi," Teana muttered.

Kineil stuck her head back out. "Is he gone? He's gone. Come on—let's have some real breakfast."

"I thought I was kicked out."

"The two of you are kicked out. Individually, I can stomach you. Now come on."

Teana sighed and went back in.

She wondered how the rent was back in town.

*/*\\*

If Greg didn't know any better, he'd say that Administrator Mesthil had been scared to death.

It was the opinion of Dr. Rheau, at least, who had examined him and declared that the man had died of a heart attack. No one was entirely surprised—Administrator Mesthil was ancient even by Magician standards, and he had not possessed magic strong enough to keep his body healthy.

Indeed, the main concern among the other Administrators, it seemed, was electing a new Administrator to replace Mesthil. It struck Greg as a little disrespectful—the man was lying there dead and they were talking like he had massively inconvenienced them.

He watched as Drs. Rheau and Nox loaded Mesthil onto a cart, covered him with a tarp, and rolled him out. Administrator Carter, leaning on the doorframe, tapped some ash from his cigar onto the tarp as they passed.

Well…to be honest, he expected that from Administrator Carter. Administrator Carter was like that.

Administrator Carter also looked a little more worn-out than usual, like he had slept in the dirt. And with his shirt collar turned up and an ascot instead of his usual tie.

Greg crossed over to him. "Nice look," he observed.

Maxwell's expression was much more dour than usual. "Don't make me necessitate filling _two_ slots," he said flatly.

"Why?" Greg asked, deciding to ignore the implied threat for now. "You planning on quitting?"

"Yes, actually. Quitting seems like a very nice option right now."

Wow. Greg had…never actually heard of an Administrator quitting. They usually stuck with the job until they died.

"That bad?" Greg asked.

"You literally have no idea."

Hmph. "And no clues as to what killed him."

"You heard the good doctor—the man died of a heart attack."

"That _is_ what he said."

Maxwell tapped some ash off his cigar before abruptly changing tacks. "Well, at least something good comes out of all this."

"How do you figure?" Greg asked, startled.

Maxwell gave one of his customary snarling grins. "You finally have something to take your mind off your kid."

And with that, he was gone through his own shadow.

It took Greg a few moments to compose himself.

"I'm going to kill him," he gritted out finally, forcing his voice into an upswing. "One of these days, I'm going to kill him."

But first—finding out what killed Administrator Mesthil.


	76. Heard It Through the Grapevine

**Chapter 76, ladies and gentlemen! In which we reference the song by Marvin Gaye (although the Creedence Clearwater Revival version has more awesome), have some product placement, and once again experience a delay….The elder Yami is being recalcitrant. On the positive side, about seventy percent of the rest of the younger Yami's story for Book I is written out, so we just need to light a fire under a certain boney butt.**

 **And for the record—when I wrote the section in the consignment shop, I was slogging through Mercedes Lackey's** ** _Owlflight_** **. There is a definite difference in how fast I can read Lackey's work compared to how fast I can read McCaffrey's work. :| And I really do have an owl thimble that matches the one in this chapter.**

 **One more thing! Fair warning: the last section of this chapter was one of the bits I wrote early on, so it may lack the amount of polish later pieces have. ^^;**

 **Movie this week is** ** _Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales_** **—like** ** _The Fate of the Furious,_** **easily one of the better movies of the series. Nice, quick, clean, hits all the major beats without dragging, and with the promise of a sequel (don't believe what you see about this being the end of the series—the kid who plays the young Turner signed on for** ** _five_** **more sequels, I heard). Although I admit Captain Jack's drunkenness and the cast's opinion of one female character might grate on you.**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Ah, so that's what it is….And why we on this side of the pond voted for Trump (fun fact: the Administrators are based on real people—the ones who ran my first college. Needless to say, that's why it's my** ** _first_** **college). After following politics more closely since I've been able to vote, that's unfortunately not an uncommon narrative. Hopefully! Yes, they might throw a parade in his honor….**

 **FluffyIdiotIsI, thanks for the review! I see. Haha, glad I could make you laugh. :D Maybe. And maybe next chapter. I think twice—don't forget ol' what's-his-face that made Yami break all the lights in the bar. Hmm…interesting….Maybe. And yes—the bird speaks the truth! Well, we were at the store, so it wasn't hers to burn. And now I have to look that up….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes….Agreed. :D And true—and here it is finally! Took me long enough!**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Yes, unfortunately—I'll try to get this one back on track. You can thank FluffyIdiotIsI for that idea—I was a little stuck there until they suggested that. :D We…have yet to delve too far into that…but rest assured, we will be getting to it before the end of Book I. Don't tell me that! I take too long otherwise. :|**

 **References:**

 _ **Yu-Gi-Oh!**_ **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 _ **The Nightmare Before Christmas**_ **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 _ **Dharma and Greg**_ **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 _ **Skulduggery Pleasant**_ **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 _ **The Sorcerer's Apprentice**_ **© 2010 Jon Turteltaub**

 ** _Ultimate Spider-Man (comic)_ ©** **2000 Marvel Comics ("Need to lay off the sugar there, sparky")**

 _ **Malice ©**_ **2009 Chris Wooding**

 _ **Home Improvement ©**_ **1991 Matt Williams, David McFadzean, & Carmen Finestra ("How many times do I have to bury you?")**

 _ **Balto ©**_ **1995 Simon Wells ("You said what!?")**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Okay, considering he was operating on no steam right now, Yami figured he was going to need his friends' help for this—send Yuki to the Administration Building, since _he_ wasn't banned, while Yami went and drummed up his friends.

Mrs. Klendaniel informed him that Kels was over at Balthazar's consignment shop again, so—after politely declining a haircut and _sit down you didn't run all this way did you?—_ he ran all the way _back_ into town and into Balthazar Blake's consignment shop.

"I need Kels!" Yami said quickly upon banging into the shop and startling Balthazar out of his book.

"Back here!" Kels said, putting a hand up.

"I was about to say that I don't have her on the shelves," Balthazar said, patting his chest. "You need to cut back on the sugar there, sparky."

"Yeah," Yami said, glancing at Balthazar's novel. "Still working on that?"

"Yeah," Balthazar sighed. "I'm thinking I need to give up on Mercedes Lackey and go back to Anne McCaffrey."

"If she'll have you back," Yami said, heading for Kels.

"True. Hey, did you hear? One of the Administrators died last night."

"I heard," Yami said, managing to keep his voice above a growl.

"You should be glad," Kels said, glancing at him as she picked up a trinket. "You're no longer top billing anymore."

Which probably wouldn't last very long if he didn't get ahead of this. "That's a little morbid," he felt compelled to point out in the meantime.

"Yeah, well, go figure," Kels said, picking up another trinket and weighing it. "Ooh, I like this one," she said, actually looking at it—a squid-thing holding what looked like a quartz egg with a spark of magic in it. "Excuse me," she said, ushering past Yami and over to Balthazar.

"How much?" she asked, holding the squid-thing up.

"Hey!" Balthazar said, taking it and shaking it mildly. "What have I told you about wandering off? Sorry, this one's not for sale," he said, putting it next to the register.

"Not that it ever listens to you," Yami observed drily—Balthazar randomly scolding an item was up there with Yuki chatting up birds. Okay, so maybe it _could_ listen to him.

"Not hardly," Balthazar said, still giving the little statue a _look_.

"What is it, anyway?" Kels asked.

"Something I'm holding for a friend—it's supposed to be keeping something safe."

"Ooh, what sort of something?" Kels asked.

"A _big_ something. Can I help you find something else?"

"My owl rock is wanting a buddy."

Balthazar looked around before picking up a tiny orange thing. "Owl thimble?" he offered.

"Let me hold," Kels said, hand out. Balthazar plunked it into her hand, and she held it for a minute. "Yes, I think so. Sold. And a Pepsi."

"On it," Balthazar said, reaching over and pulling a soda out of the steel freezer against the wall. "So how about that Administrator dying?"

"The grapevine is on fire," Kels said, fishing in her pockets.

"No kidding. I bet your dad's working overtime," Balthazar continued, glancing at Yami.

"Yeah," Yami said, trying not to sound anything other than noncommittal. "Kels, when you're done, can we talk?"

His attempt at noncommittal obviously didn't work, considering the way the two of them suddenly looked at him. And were quiet for several beats.

"Oh boy," Kels noised. "That tone of voice is _not_ good."

"Agreed," Balthazar said. "Is this something I don't want to know?"

"It may be something the grapevine doesn't survive," Yami admitted.

"That bad," Balthazar said, glancing at a suitcase on a shelf.

"Hopefully not _that_ bad," Yami said.

"Is it something _I_ don't want to know?" Kels asked.

"Let's just say there were developments yesterday."

"Developments? What—right," Kels said abruptly, paying Balthazar and taking her purchases. "I may be right back to buy that suitcase, so don't go anywhere."

"And the day started off so _well,_ too," Balthazar sighed as they left.

*\\*/*

Breakfast had been a relatively calm affair, seeing as how it was only one half of the dynamic duo and they kept the topics to benign subjects, like the weather.

That had changed as soon as Hephaestus and Vulcan came in, so Kineil and Teana had ended up excusing themselves and going on with their respective days.

For Kineil, that involved going on one of her walkabouts and investigating areas she hadn't expressed much interest in before. Usually, she'd be tooling around in Yami's wake, following him around on his misadventures instead of striking off on her own.

Boy, had _that_ changed.

She frowned as she followed a path into the woods, past the farms and into the cool shade—summer was lasting longer, it felt like.

But that wasn't her main beef. Sure, she had taken the high road and bowed graciously out of the whole thing (at least, she hoped she did), but now it was just getting stupid. Those two were getting all goofy now and….

And she simply didn't like being ignored.

Which was why she was off wandering through the woods, her feet silently finding their way to a place they had traced a few times before, eventually arriving at a ramshackle cabin with an open window.

"Yo, Jake!" she called, sticking her head in—which caused the artist within to start so badly his paintbrush went flying.

She made sure to grin broadly when 'Tall Jake' Hemlock turned to glare at her.

"What do you want?" he demanded, already dismissing her and looking for his missing paintbrush.

"It went under your desk. And what, I can't swing by and see how you're doing?"

"At this point, I'd rather you just take a sledgehammer to Skellington and get it over with."

"I would, but that would just hurt the sledgehammer," Kineil said, leaning in and looking at the desk. "Say, what happened to that rock you had? I liked that rock."

"I liked it too—unfortunately, it ended up being an egg, and hatched recently."

Jake pointed, redirecting Kineil's attention to a frying pan on the stove, a flame heating it and a little coil of red sitting in it, head up and mouth open.

"Is that a dragon?" she had to ask.

"It is—I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in _days_. I'm worried it thinks I'm its mother."

"You could do worse than having a pet dragon—you could have a Yami skulking about. How about we trade?"

"Very tempting. Why don't _you_ take it, and when it grows up it can eat Skellington and die of indigestion?"

"That would be cruelty to animals. And I don't think you can separate a baby dragon from its mother."

"I'm not its mother."

"I can tell—it's mother would have fed it by now."

Jake grumbled as he dug into a cupboard. "This thing is eating me out of house and home. And I'm not looking forward to emptying my bank to feed it."

"I'll go make a grocery run for you," Kineil said. "I'm in need of something to do today."

"Don't do me any favors."

"It's more doing myself a favor—I need the distraction."

"I can't pay you."

"I'll put it on Yami's tab—he won't notice. And if he _does,_ he won't care."

Jake was glaring at her now.

"You're welcome," she said.

"Do what?"

"The words you're looking for are 'you're welcome.' I'll be back."

She was already off and running before he recovered, laughing at the sound of him yelling " _This doesn't change anything!"_

But at least she knew what she was doing today.

*/*\\*

There was some haste in running down Balthazar's steps and out onto the street.

"So what are you so upset about?" Kels asked as she pocketed her thimble and took a swig of her soda.

Yami hesitated for a beat before telling her. "I brought back Yami Skellington."

It had the effect he expected: she gasped, her mouth still full of soda, then spewed the liquid out of her mouth and nose as she tried to expel it from her lungs. She sputtered and hacked, and finally got out " _You did what?!_" in a high-pitched shriek.

" _Not so loud!_" Yami hissed, looking around. He waved away the one or two onlookers and leaned in close. "Okay, so it was a bonehead move—"

"You _think?_ "

"But now I need your help. I _have_ to find him before he causes any havoc."

"Didn't one of the Administrators die last night?"

"Any _more_ havoc," he corrected.

"Uh-huh. For the record, this isn't _just_ a bonehead move. This isn't even just a disaster— _this is a catastrophe!_ Whatever awaits a person whose bones were banished—" here Kels froze. "What awaits a person whose bones were banished?"

"I don't know," Yami said. "What I _do_ know is that when I summoned him _back_ , he was all in one piece, clothed, and walking, talking, and magicking."

"So we're screwed."

"I'd like to think that we're getting ahead of this before we are."

"Uh-huh. Why, pray tell, did you even summon him in the _first_ place? That, to my knowledge, is the very definition of _stupidest thing you could possibly do._ "

Yami started to answer—hesitated. Why _had_ he done that? To gain knowledge, to be sure, but….

There had been a moment—just one—where he had hoped to find out more about his family.

Boy, was _that_ backfiring.

He noticed Kels had her hand tilted; her soda was pouring out.

"You're losing your Pepsi," he pointed out.

She nodded. "I know," she said, a strained grin on her face. "I want it to be empty before I break this bottle over your head!"


	77. Disguises

**Chapter 77, everybody! Love that number there.**

 **Again, sorry for dropping off the face of the earth (with all my stories, goodness), but college was kicking my can. I want to get back to regular updates, but since spare time in the summer is spent taking care of outdoor work like gardening as well, that means that I probably won't be able to entertain such regular updates until September. Regardless, I will definitely strive to budget my time so I** ** _can_** **still update my stories regularly, and in any case, I'm still writing, so when fall and winter roll around, I'll at least have the stuff for the updates. :)**

 **Kels originally called the cat something else, which is also a term for cat** **—but could have also been considered offensive, so I changed it.** **And again, we have a couple of sections that were written early on….Now to see if my editing skills were up to snuff.**

 **Movie this week is** ** _The Boxtrolls_** **—cute, fun, interesting to look at, but I didn't enjoy it as much as** ** _Coraline_** **or** ** _Kubo and the Two Strings_** **(both done by the same studio). We Tivo'ed it, and while I liked it, I'm also kind of glad I didn't pay for it. *shrugs***

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Really? Well happy (belated) birthday then! Hope you had a good one! :D Good question….And also a very good question. Well, in the beginning I was thinking of the Shard, which appears in** ** _Malice_** **along with Tall Jake, but if you look at a picture of it, it looks to be in the ballpark of Osiris/Slifer, so…maybe. Oh good. *phew***

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Haha, glad you like it! Yes….And yes and yes and yes. We shall see….**

 **FluffyIdiotIsI, thanks for the review! It's good to BE back! Now to keep it at a semi-regular basis….I bet—especially considering real bottles don't break like they do on the TV (what they use for breaking glass is actually made out of** ** _sugar_** **). That—sounds remarkably accurate. 'No,** ** _you_** **have it worse.' 'No,** ** _you_** **have it worse.' 'No, actually, both.' 'Both?' 'Both. Both is good.' Love that movie. :D Yes, slowly—they don't assemble as fast as the Avengers. Yes, Yami Skellington is most definitely set on causing problems…and lobster warfare is a criminally underutilized fighting technique. Me too….Thanks! I'll try!**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say pal, get out of my hiding place")**

 ** _Harry Potter_** **© 1997 J.K. Rowling (the mention of animagi)**

 ** _Guardians of Ga'Hoole_** **© 2003 Kathryn Lasky (Hagsfiends)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Unbeknownst to the arguing teens, the very subject they were discussing was hiding in the bushes just across the street from them, sloughing his feathers and resuming his normal…ish appearance.

Granted, this was a risk—Yami Skellington, after his foray into the Administration Building, had realized what sort of ruckus his appearance would cause. At the very least, he didn't want to be ducking and dodging an angry mob armed with pitchforks. You know, if they even did that anymore.

And he really needed to recover from his encounter last night. Boiling blood meant clouded judgment, and he needed to stay on his toes for this. And as it turned out, he couldn't rely on his Hagsfiend guise to stay on the downlow. Which was a pity, because he _liked_ his feathers.

He really needed a better disguise, apparently. One that wasn't so...he wasn't sure. When did Hagsfiends start eliciting that response?

And then the puzzle of the Teana-that-couldn't-possibly-be, coupled with his summoner from last night, currently across the way and warding off an assault from a Kineil lookalike; he couldn't help but marvel at the irony. Patterns _did_ repeat themselves throughout history after all.

"Okay, _okay!_ " the spiky-haired youth hissed, batting the Kineil-copy's attempts off. "So summoning my twice-great uncle was a bad idea—"

Skellington sucked in hard; he had guessed that maybe he had _some_ relation to the boy, but that was mighty close. It gave him some comfort though: it meant his sisters had survived. Or at least, one of them had.

He heard someone else suck in too; he turned to see a little girl, a ball she must have just retrieved in her hands, staring wide-eyed at a tall thin figure hiding in the bushes—at least, that's what he _hoped_ he looked like.

He put one finger up and another to his lips, slowly reached down and picked up a few leaves, showed them to her, and then stroked them with his other hand.

As the leaves came back down, they transformed, until he was holding a lily in his hand instead.

The little girl gasped with surprise and clapped her hands lightly, ball forgotten. Yami handed her the flower and her ball, put his finger back to his lips once again for emphasis, then shooed her away.

He turned back to eavesdropping just in time to see the Kineil-girl pitch her bottle into the bushes in a fit of rage.

Unfortunately, they were the bushes he was hiding in, and she scored a perfect hit on his forehead. He fell back with a yelp, then realized that they had probably heard that.

They did, if the way they were both frozen across the street staring at the bushes in suspicion was any indication. "What was that?" the girl asked.

"I don't know," his now-nephew said, striding over. "But I aim to find out."

*\\*/*

Okay, maybe Yami should dedicate one day a month or something like that to coming in early and working—this was actually kind of productive. An hour and a half in his office, and he had already vetoed a good chunk of the Administrator slag and was even doing a counter-proposal thing on his typewriter, after sending a startled-looking page for a few files. Should probably check into that and discuss giving pages days off or something like that.

"Hey—say…pal…you don't look so good."

"I'm working," Yami said, glancing up.

"You do what?" Maxwell said, staring. "What—the world's ending, isn't it?" he asked, crossing to the window and looking up. "The sky's getting ready to fall or something like that."

"What? I work on a regular basis," Yami protested.

"Not like this. What are you, cramming?"

"I'll have you know I've been here since eight and plan to stay until five."

"There's something wrong with you."

"You make the second person today to accuse me of not working like I should."

"The first being your little beau, I'm sure. She's going to work you into an early grave."

"This isn't going to become habit," Yami said, looking in his mug. "After all, there's no coffee in here. Why do I have no coffee?"

"Because you drank it?"

"Yeah, but my usual stash is gone. You know, the stuff that keeps me from having to interact needlessly with the Administrators?"

"I do—that's why _I_ use it."

"So it's your fault I have no coffee."

"I do try," Maxwell said, lighting a cigar—Yami opened a window with a flick of the wrist and some application of magic. "And while I'm aggravating you—I hear the Administrators are talking about their new book lists."

"Oh no," Yami moaned, rubbing his temples.

"I thought you'd like that."

"I think you do this to me on purpose."

"You want I should wait until after they pass it with two-thirds majority?"

"When are they voting?"

"Right now."

Yami swore under his breath and bolted from the room.

"You're welcome!" he heard Maxwell crow behind him.

*/*\\*

Yami carefully crossed over to the bushes, left hand ready to cast a spell, and moved some branches with his other hand, to reveal—

A cat.

A skinny black cat, obviously a stray, with yellow whiskers and a few white markings on its chest.

Kels looked over his shoulder and saw the cat—which was grooming itself indignantly—and the bottle behind it. "Ouch," she muttered, realizing what she had done. "Sorry, cat."

The cat glared at her.

Yami picked it up by the scruff of the neck, prompting it to hiss at him. Yami ignored it in favor of examining the markings on its chest.

"I think there's a spell that lets cats talk," he said, watching the cat's reaction; he had a sneaking suspicion about it—weren't cats a common selection for animagi?

"Leave the cat alone," Kels scolded. "Look at it; it's starving."

Yami glared at it, still suspicious, but dropped it.

It landed lightly, hissed again at Yami, then curled around Kels' legs.

"Smart, isn't it?" Kels asked.

"Too smart," Yami intoned.

The cat trotted off, tail held high, obviously indignant at Yami's comment.

"Now see, you hurt its feelings."

"Since when did a cat care to follow a human conversation so closely?" Yami asked.

Kels frowned, thinking, then gained a look of horror. "You think—?"

"I do."

"Get back here you hairball!" she yelled, chasing after it. The cat took off like a shot. Yami sent a spell after it, knowing how cats soaked up magic—

The spell deflected and the cat made a getaway.

Kels stopped running and turned to him. "Well, fearless leader?" she asked breathlessly. "Now what?"

Yami sighed.

"Now…we find everyone else and let them know."


	78. Work Discussions

**Chapter 78, everybody! And I have news. It may be good, it may be bad, but here it is:**

 **I FINALLY HAVE MY DRIVER'S LICENSE.**

 **I passed the road test this morning (7/17/17). :D**

 **So! Now that I'm street legal—I will never drive again (at least unless I need to). And this takes one of the major time-soaks off the table, so things should start getting back on track. I hope.**

 **No movie this week, as I spent the past two weeks learning how to parallel park. Took me three times to get it on the test even with the practicing (good thing my Bug has a tight turn radius).**

 **The comment Kineil and Maxwell make to Yami comes from my Dad's old friends, who made the comment to him when he crashed skiing (stopped to say it and then skied off, leaving him to get himself** ** _out_** **of the contortion he got himself into—he did, obviously). Dad also had a work buddy who—after ignoring the GPS for a while and prompting several 'recalculating's—Dad said the 'I'm detecting a little tension there' line to. :D Schmuck is a Yiddish word and should actually not be used in polite company, so apologies to any Jewish-speaking readers. ^^;**

 **King David did dance for joy in the Bible, when the Ark of the Covenant was returned to the Israelites. That's in 2 Samuel 6:14, and in the following verses a woman who scolded David for doing so was made barren for the rest of her life. There are also examples of dancing that was frowned upon in the Bible (instances of good and bad dancing can be found in the Book of Exodus), so it's best to do the research yourself and read the whole selection to get the context; searching 'dancing in the Bible' online gives you some good starting points as far as specific passages to look at. :)**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! I know! And good question—Yami was asked that earlier, and he didn't answer, but I think clothes are a free action when it comes to magical transformations (although he wouldn't be too indecent at the moment, considering he's a skeleton from the neck down D: ).**

 **FluffyIdiotIsI, thanks for the review! I try not to, but when the juice comes, I have to take advantage of it (finally finished up the writing for one of my other active stories and got a lot more chapters for this one and another active one done, so that's good :D). Oh yes, definitely—summertime is more for outdoor work, pool, and scriptwriting (at least for me it is). They are—it surprised me too. Haha, my first thoughts when watching anything is putting Yami and company in the setting and seeing how they'd react (I recommend BlackRoseDragonCK's works for some** ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **movie rewrites, although they haven't been active for a couple of years now). I'm not as familiar with the Justice League, but now I can't unsee Yami M. with Captain America's shield (it helps that he's going to be doing some assembling soon). Oh yes. :D We'll be exploring this later, but where he was held had less magic than his home-dimension, so I guess we could say it's like dumping a dehydrated man into a pool? He could, but we could argue that someone would notice someone who isn't familiar (tourism and travelling for this dimension is kind of along the 1930's standard, so most people live their lives out within fifty miles of home). We could also argue that that would be too plebian for Yami S.' tastes, which is probably the more likely. Most likely. And most likely. And…maybe. YES! My goodness, no wonder he's dead now! Possibly. I…need to have her say that….Yes, mostly because no one would ever think to look for him in Yami's office (even then he was ducking work). Hmm….And yes, you would think. She would, but she just wasted her bottle. Oops. Ah, thank you! I shall strive to continue to please! :D**

 **References:**

 _ **Yu-Gi-Oh!**_ **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 _ **The Nightmare Before Christmas**_ **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 _ **Dharma and Greg**_ **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 _ **Skulduggery Pleasant**_ **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 _ **Don't Starve**_ **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say pal, you can sure get your body into some funny shapes")**

 ** _Malice ©_** **2009 Chris Wooding**

 _ **Lackadaisy Cats**_ **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Teana was looking at the books on the living room shelves, checking the clock to see if she had some time to start one before she left when she heard the door open. Within a few moments, Yami Skellington was in the room and draped over the back of the nearest recliner, face buried in the seat cushion.

"I think you're the first person I've ever seen who failed sitting down," she said. "Anyone ever tell you that's not how that works?"

"I want you to know," Yami managed, struggling to crawl out of the contortion he had put himself in. "That this is _your_ fault. Work isn't exhausting if you just _do it_ instead of taking all day about it. I had everything done before noon and just spent the rest of the day going through stuff and arguing with the Administrators. I have a gray hair now—I can feel it. I know it exists."

"Are you done?"

"No I'm not done. I think working from nine to five is for the birds—no wait, that's insulting to birds. I'm never doing that again. Ever. Take a picture, because this is the very last time."

"Not everyone is allergic to work, I'll have you know."

"I'm not everyone," Yami retorted, finally righting himself—by somersaulting into the coffee table.

"Are you done hurting yourself?"

"Boy I hope so."

She kneeled down next to him. "Well, it's nice that you made an effort. And it was nice and quiet as you made said effort—you should do that more often."

"I think you're just trying to get rid of me," Yami accused, trying to get out from his new odd contortion between the coffee table and the recliner.

"Only in the temporary sense," she said, trying to ignore the bad feeling she got when she thought of it in the permanent sense. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?"

"And familiarity breeds contempt."

"Especially with you," she retorted, looking up at the new voice to see Maxwell ambling in. "Which reminds me, I have to go to work. Don't come."

"Aw, I'm hurt," Maxwell said sarcastically, looking at Yami. "Boy you can get your body into some funny shapes."

"Yeah," Yami said. "You know, a friend would help me out."

"I'm not your friend, pal."

"I can see that."

"I'm back!" Kineil called, coming in. "Please tell me that you lovebirds aren't going to be lovebirding—" she came to a screeching halt upon seeing Yami. "Boy you can get your body into some funny shapes."

"That's what _he_ said," Yami said, pointing at Maxwell.

"Strange minds think alike. Don't move—I have to get a camera."

"Something tells me now would be the perfect time to move," Yami said.

"And something tells me she'd probably shove you back down just to take the picture," Teana said, glancing the way Kineil had gone.

"This is true—get up, I want to watch this," Maxwell ordered.

"Help," Yami said to Teana.

"I'm curious to know what you did before I came along," she asked him.

"Mostly just went along with it—I'm hoping you'd rescue me from my dire straits."

Again, that niggling feeling at the base of her skull. "Tempting, but Mitzi will be wondering where I'm at."

"Just tell her I've gone and gotten myself into a fix—she'll understand."

"And Atlas will take bets," Maxwell pointed out.

"This is true."

"I have the camera!" Kineil cheered, coming in. "Now say cheese."

"Cheese," Yami said, smiling as she took the picture. "Now help me up."

"Why? I didn't get you in there."

Teana finally took pity on him and helped him up.

"There," she declared. _"Now_ I have to go to work."

"Why were you like that to begin with?" Kineil asked.

"Teana made me overwork," Yami said, pointing.

"Oh, so that was _your_ fault," Maxwell said, looking at her as he sat on the back of a recliner, feet on the seat cushion.

"That's not how you use one of those," Teana pointed out. "And not using one properly is how _he_ got into that mess to begin with."

"Shame on you," Kineil said, sitting crosslegged on the couch.

"In the interest of not ending up like the schmuck here," Maxwell said, sitting in the chair proper. "So how was _your_ day? _That goon_ made me _work."_

"Technically, Teana did," Yami said, pointing.

"Oh sure, blame me," Teana said.

"So you admit it," Maxwell said.

"I helped Jake feed a dragon," Kineil said.

There was a beat of silence.

"Run that one again," Maxwell said, pointing an unlit cigar at her. "Do you mean you fed Jake _to_ a dragon? Because that'd be some awful indigestion."

"Who?" Teana asked Yami.

"'Tall' Jake Hemlock—which is a misnomer, because he's not as tall as I am," Yami said.

"I want you to measure your tallness sometime," Kineil said. "Jake is the resident artist—designs all the little things used in day-to-day Magician things. Like the tickets for the Masquerade Ball."

Teana remembered that ticket. "That's…impressive," she decided to say.

"It pays the bills. Tall Jake's goal in life is to design and do a window in the Hall—not that he'd ever get the chance with those stuffy Administrators. No offense, Max."

"None taken," Maxwell said airily.

"He could do my window," Yami said. "I haven't gotten anyone for that yet."

"You're also not old," Kineil pointed out.

"Well, speaking of paying the bills," Teana said, heading for the door. "See you later. Except you," she added, pointing at Maxwell. "You I want to see never."

"I'm detecting a little tension there," Kineil said as Yami hastened to follow Teana.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to walk you to work. Isn't that a thing people do?" Yami asked.

"Yes, and it's sweet, but you have company to entertain."

"They can entertain themselves."

"You'll come home to a destroyed house."

"That's an exaggeration."

"Really? What about those _incidents_ you keep mentioning?"

"Oh yeah. _No destroying the house while I'm gone!"_

"He's leaving?" she heard Maxwell ask. "Quick—where's the liquor cabinet?"

"You need less inebriated friends," Teana felt obliged to inform him.

"I do," Yami agreed, lacing an arm through hers and opening the door. "Oh, look at that— _you're_ sober."

"Besides me."

"But I find your company stimulating."

And she couldn't shake that annoying feeling of unease. "Tell me about work," she said. "Chatting about work is a thing people do."

"But work is boring."

"We can pretend it isn't."

"I suppose I did a lot of that today," Yami sighed, glancing away as they went down the hill. "Well, the Administrators wanted to ban a lot of books and shows and things 'for the good of the public'—I think their delicate sensibilities just got offended. And then they wanted dancing banned, of all things."

"Do I need a new job?"

"No. I used logic on them."

"How did you use logic on them?"

"By pointing out that dancing is in the Bible and it was mentioned as a good thing—you know, David dancing? And then told them to look it up. For a bunch of supposedly morally upright guys, they didn't seem enthused about that."

Unease was still there. "Maybe they didn't appreciate being schooled?"

"Maybe. And then spending the rest of the day going through all that red tape they had and pretty much destroying it all. Honestly, whoever said _less is more_ was thinking about government."

"Hmm."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"See, that's why I don't want to talk about work," Yami said, looking triumphant. "Why don't we talk about something else?"

"Do you trust Maxwell?" she blurted.

Yami seemed temporarily taken aback. "Okay, let's talk about some _one_ else. Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"I trust him as far as I can throw him—or at least, that's what Max _says_ people should."

"Would you trust him with your life?"

"I think I could trust him in a pinch. What brought this on?"

What indeed? "Female intuition?"

"Oh dear—my sisters have that in droves. I'll tell Max he has to sleep in his office then."

"Not his apartment?"

"As it turns out, he moved into his office lock, shock, and barrel because it was bigger than his apartment. And rent free."

"Lock, stock and barrel."

"What?"

"The saying is _lock, stock and barrel_ —not _lock, shock and barrel."_

"It isn't? Oh. Maybe that's just Heph and Vul."

"Is this related to the _incidents?"_

"Maybe. But oh look, we're here—didn't that make the trip go fast?"

She didn't know, considering she still felt queasy for some reason. She nodded at Horatio and followed Yami in, where they were greeted by Mitzi.

"Oh dear, don't you look peaked," she observed, looking Teana up and down. "Well, sit down you two—pick a table—and we'll get you all sorted."

Teana certainly hoped so.


	79. Tracking Down

**Chapter 79, everybody! In which Greg dusts, Yami gets kicked out of his own house again, and Maxwell is his usual irritating self and quotes Bill Cosby to boot. So a normal Monday.**

 **Movie this week is** ** _Titanic_** **—still can't watch the whole thing without crying, but I'm sure that's normal. Like** ** _Pearl Harbor_** **, it's a movie set within a real event that focuses on a handful of people, which is actually a good way to portray it—otherwise, it's as the one quote goes, that it's only a movie about a ship sinking. In addition,** ** _Titanic_** **is one of the movies that I prefer to watch to give myself some writing juice on** ** _The Magicians' Realm_** **, so good things.**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Thank you! And I must acknowledge the wisdom of your statement, as I didn't drive again until that Sunday and had to take a minute to remember what I was supposed to do. Maybe….And most likely.**

 **FicReader, thanks for the review! Yes….Yes, Yami S. still has some of his loveable traits, which is a good thing. Haha, summer is actually a busier time for me, because the college I attend has a rolling enrollment (meaning no summer break) and I have a ton of outdoor work to do. Tomatoes, peppers, beans, and squash, among a few other assorted vegetables. Nice!**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Isn't it, though?...Thanks a second time—and you make the second person to tell me that (and are also right about that :|). Don't worry about it—life comes first. I think I had to practice driving for a minimum of 90 days, but don't quote me. And yes it is—learning how to drive practically tanked all of my energy from March until July. D:**

 **FluffyIdiotIsI, thanks for the review! Yes! Success! This is very true, but at least I have plenty of other half-finished stories to focus on (although a good chunk of my writing energies for the past couple of days have been dedicated to this story, so win). Most likely—and of course! Who would ever think to look for him there? Well, considering Max lives in his own office…maybe. And that right there—that does sound like something Max would do. That could work. Possibly, although I think we've still got a ways to go before things get to that. To answer your question: three books total, with some fresh characters showing up but still with a focus on some of the same ones. Which reminds me, I need to prioritize work on Book II as soon as this one is written out….**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Criminal Minds_ ****© 2005 Jeff Davis (the other side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages; Ravel and Ghastly)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say, pal, what are you doing here?")**

 ** _Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End_** **© 2007 Gore Verbinski ("Because someone has to stay and guard the chest")**

 _ **Malice ©**_ **2009 Chris Wooding**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Greg was firmly of the opinion that this was going on the books as one of the more aggravating days.

The Administrators were paying lip service to their fallen comrade, but had quickly moved on to more 'pressing' matters, like what an inconvenience his death had been. Out of sight had literally been out of mind.

Greg, meanwhile, couldn't shake the quiet supposition that perhaps Mesthil's death hadn't been natural.

Unfortunately, there was no way to pursue that line of thought—the body was already gone, and any evidence was cleaned up. If he had been Hotchner, it would have been a forcibly closed case.

Greg, fortunately, was not his brother, and employed a sensory spell to see if any errant Magicians had made an attempt on the man's life.

Well…Mesthil was there, so that was no surprise…as was Maxwell. Huh.

And…a third party. One whose magical signature he didn't recognize.

Interest piqued, Greg moved on to gather the magic belonging to the strange signature together, collecting the scant invisible traces left by a Magician simply by moving around, until he had a visible cloud of nebulous dust. Poke the concentrated mass…still didn't feel… _too_ familiar.

But it _did_ feel familiar, in some strange way—he had encountered magic like this before, if not in person, then a relative of said Magician. Hmm….

"Woah," Ravel noised, coming up behind him and looking over his shoulder. "Now _that's_ a dust bunny."

"No kidding," Greg said, looking at him. "And what happened to keeping everyone out of the building?"

"Administrator Sumbinix is giving a press conference as we speak—everyone will soon be fast asleep or so bored that they find somewhere else to be. What is that, by the way?"

"There was a third party here last night," Greg said, holding the magic dust ball up. "And every Magician leaves a magic trail behind them, especially when emotion makes them expend more. One of the ways I keep track of my kids."

Ravel whistled appreciatively. "So we know who did it—holy cats, Mesthil could have been _murdered."_

"This is true. And no we don't—I don't recognize the trail."

Ravel held his hand near the dust ball. "It doesn't feel familiar to me either. So it wasn't an inside job…pity, I had bet that Maxwell did it. I had literally bet money."

"If Maxwell wasn't an accessory or an accomplice, he was definitely a witness," Greg said, looking up and down the hall. "Of course, that means we have to _find_ Maxwell…."

"Good luck."

"I know," Greg said, freeing up a hand to rub his face. "I've already had his system explained to me. But there's got to be a way to trace this, and find out what happened—you head for the library. I've got to keep this safe somewhere."

"You got it," Ravel said, saluting smartly before dashing off, short cape flapping in his wake.

As Greg headed for his office, he reflected that he might have just bitten off more than he could chew.

*/*\\*

Teana woke up the next day and managed to make coffee and feed Lil' Stevie without incident.

And then Yami came in.

"Oh good, you're up and dressed," he said, tugging the coffee over and pouring himself a mug.

"I don't make it a habit to be asleep and naked," Teana countered, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Fair enough. But this means that we can go off and maybe get breakfast, because I'm sure Kineil hid the food, and where did you find the sugar?"

"I asked Mitzi last night if I could borrow a cup."

"Why do people say that?" Yami asked, shrugging. "It's not like you're going to be giving it back—it's like asking if you can _borrow_ a hanky. No one wants it back after it's been used."

"There was a conversation yesterday, about you not broaching topics until noon. Pretend we just had that conversation again."

"Right. So! After breakfast we can go and visit Ghastly—"

"Don't you have work?"

"Now don't you try to pull this on me again—one nine-to-five haul was enough. I do that again, I'll drop dead from aggravation. My gray hair will get a buddy, and I'd rather it be lonely."

Okay, ignore the bad feeling from _drop dead_ , rub her forehead against the headache threatening to show up….

"You!" Kineil said, coming in. "Why are you here?"

"We should probably talk about you kicking me out of my own house," Yami said.

"Right. There, we talked about it. Good chat. Now out and let me eat in peace."

"I'll have you know we're leaving because we _want_ to," Yami said, offering a hand to Teana.

"Can't I finish my coffee first?" Teana asked.

"You can take it with you. Now come on, before Kineil decides to physically kick us out."

"Which I plan to," Kineil said, pulling a jug of milk out of the icebox. "And just so you know, I plan to be helping Jake with his little dragon and then visiting Dr. Heller later, so you can go and be mushy in here then."

"Unless Hephaestus and Vulcan decide to kick us out," Teana muttered, draining her cup and standing.

"Actually, they'd probably just watch. With popcorn and sodas."

"All the more reason to not be here," Yami said, offering Teana his arm. Teana considered this briefly before accepting and hustling out with him before Kineil could commence with the shooing.

"So where are we eating breakfast?" she felt compelled to ask.

"Someplace with a nice homey feel that makes the best fried green tomatoes you've ever eaten," Yami said, steering her down the driveway.

"For breakfast?"

"For dessert too, once you've had them. Now come on—we don't want to be late."

*\\*/*

Yuki hovered around the edges of the dispersing crowd, ears plugged to keep Administrator Sumbinix's soporific voice from affecting him as he edged around and to the doors, managing to squeeze in without being noticed.

Now for the little matter of finding his dad and warning him without giving away the teeny tiny fact that it was his and Yami's fault that Skellington was loose. And he _had_ to do this right—Yami was trusting him with this—

"Hey!"

Yuki jumped, spun to face a page bearing down on him with a glare.

"What are you doing here?" the page demanded. "This isn't the time or place for little kids to be around!"

Yuki huffed at that description—he wasn't a little kid!—opened his mouth to counter—

"Say, _pal_ , what's all this?"

The page yelped and took off, with Yuki sincerely tempted to bolt with him. But he could smell the cigar smoke, knew he was right behind him….

Yuki turned to see Administrator Carter grinning down at him.

"Not that that wasn't fun, but the louse has a point," Administrator Carter said, waving his cigar around. "Why are you here when you could be elsewhere?"

Yuki was pretty sure he had seen something at the Majestic that would have provided a very good answer, but he had forgotten since then. "I…need to see Dad."

"Are you sure? You should really say these things like you're sure."

Yuki tried to ignore the way Administrator Carter was grinning, like he knew he was wasting Yuki's time and enjoying every minute of it. "I do—it's important."

"Oh really? Do tell."

Hedge…Administrator Carter was an adult, true…but then again, Administrator Carter was…Administrator Carter.

"I…can't. It's something Dad has to hear," Yuki tried, already shuffling away.

Yuki most certainly did _not_ like the way Administrator Carter's eyebrow snaked up at that.

"Sorry, pal, but you'll be having a hard time getting a hold of him, what with the murder and all," Administrator Carter said, sounding conversational but with a dangerous undercurrent to it.

Yuki started. "Do what? H—I didn't—"

"Of course you didn't!" Administrator Carter said, tapping some ash off of his cigar and looking mighty pleased with himself. "That's not for the public ear to hear. Although you should be grateful—gets everyone's mind off of your buddy Bakura rotting in the dungeon."

"I—Bakura's in jail?"

"Oh wait, did _I_ say that? Well, I'm sure you won't do anything. Cell's completely impervious to unlocking spells. Such a pity, too—ah well, it's not like you know anyone who can pick locks. Except for Bakura, of course."

And with that, Administrator Carter was gone through his own shadow. Not cool.

But….

Yuki fidgeted. It was entirely possible that Administrator Carter was trying to get him into trouble—he had done the same to Yami, Yami had said.

But if he were telling the truth….Then that meant Bakura was in trouble.

And Yuki _did_ know someone else who could pick locks.


	80. Tomatoes and Lockpicks

**Chapter 80, everyone! Which has been apparently looked forward to with much excitement, even though it's just breakfast and breakouts that happen….**

 **In other news, just received the new** ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **book in the mail—appropriate, since he makes a reappearance in this chapter. :D And it's taking all my self-control to not just drop everything and read that thing and not come up for air until I'm done….**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Perhaps….Aha, no! That was just her being flip. :D Who indeed….Well, if we look at the manga, there is** ** _one_** **other guy who's good at it….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes….I've noticed that. And that—it's surprising what a difference a few feet makes in the riding-in-a-car experience (and now I don't relax in the passenger's seat anymore, because I'm constantly scanning the mirrors out of habit). Eventually you'll get better at it and it won't take so much out of you—BUT DON'T GET COMFORTABLE! My Mom cannot stress that enough. :O**

 **FluffyIdiotIsI, thanks for the review! Yes, her spider-sense is tingling…yes, alas poor Greg—we knew him well, until his job got the best of him. Me too. Yes! Haha—I'm reminded of BlackRoseDragonCK's old** ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!/Avengers_** **rewrite (which now unfortunately remains unfinished) with Bakura cast as the Incredible Hulk. Skellington will never know what hit him. XD I might—it depends on the whims of the story, honestly. This whole thing with Bakura? Sent Yuki into the building and Maxwell decided to sideline him without asking me first. The jerk. Yes, it's here! :D**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Mr. Montgau and his side of the family)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say pal, following bad advice?")**

 ** _Fried Green Tomatoes_** **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (Skulduggery and the Head Mages)**

 ** _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_** **© 2005 Tim Burton (something Skulduggery says is reminiscent of Wonka telling the kids that he was always tall enough to put a hat on his head)**

 _ **Zorro**_ **© 1919 Johnston McCulley (he's vigorous!)**

 **Original** **characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

They ended up outside a Magician-style house near the forest, a little out of place amid the Commoner-style homes surrounding it, yet managing to blend in enough that it wasn't obvious.

"Why are we stopping here?" Teana felt compelled to ask, waving briefly at someone coming out to retrieve their morning paper.

"I told you, we're having breakfast," Yami said, knocking on the door.

"Are we taking someone else out to eat?"

"No, not really."

"Are we heading for a diner?"

"No, not really."

"Don't tell me you're dropping in on someone—"

"Come in!" someone called.

"No, not really," Yami said, opening the door and ducking under the doorjamb, stepping aside to allow her through. "See? We were invited. Come on, before the bugs get in."

"Can we talk about just barging into people's houses?" Teana asked, stepping through and finding herself in a little foyer. A living room and a kitchen were immediately evident.

Someone stuck their head through a little bar-type window in the wall.

"Yes, that's very rude—go barge into someone else's house."

Teana blinked, recognized the voice before she recognized the face—Skulduggery Pleasant.

And then Idgy leaned out of the kitchen.

"Hey! You're just in time!" she greeted, waving them around and through to the kitchen. "I'm just finishing up!"

"No, no! Come back in an hour or so!" Skulduggery said—Teana entered the kitchen in time to see him grab a plate and hold it away from the table. "These will be nicely taken care of by then!"

"But I was wanting one," Yami protested, holding a chair out for Teana—she sat down, and he quickly followed after pushing her chair in.

"No. maybe half of one. A very small one."

"Skul, share," Idgy ordered, before looking at Teana. "So! How do you like your fried green tomatoes?"

"For breakfast?" Teana echoed blankly.

"With ketchup," a little boy at the table said, pushing a little toy car between the condiments.

"You can't drown your food in ketchup," Skulduggery argued, finally relenting and putting the tomatoes back on the table. "It just isn't done."

"He'll figure it out eventually," Idgy said, putting plates and mugs in front of Teana and Yami and quickly following it with utensils. "Eggs?"

"Um," Teana noised.

"Yes?" Yami asked.

"You want eggs too," Idgy said, nodding at Teana before going back to the stove. "I can tell."

"Hmm," Teana noised, before looking at Skulduggery. "Don't you cook?"

"I'm not allowed to anymore," Skulduggery said.

"I've never seen cast iron do that before in my life," Idgy said. "Besides, I'm the one who used to work at a diner—I'm the professional."

"This is true."

"That honestly sounds like another _incident_ ," Teana said.

"This is true," Yami said, looking at Skulduggery. "That was a very Heph and Vul thing."

"An insult!" Skulduggery said, sounding mock-affronted. "I've been maligned! I'm never speaking to you again!"

"Fair enough."

"You should sound more distraught."

"You're talking to me."

"So what are you two doing today?" Idgy asked, putting some eggs and fried green tomatoes on Teana's plate.

"We're going to Ghastly's," Yami said, breaking off from his conversation with Skulduggery.

"You are?" Skulduggery said, all previous irritation forgotten. "I'll go with you then. Work is being uncooperatively slow and dull and I need a new hat."

"You have a million of them," Idgy pointed out, finally sitting down.

"This is true. I'll get _you_ a hat. You only have a couple thousand."

"And what if I didn't want to go to Ghastly's?" Teana asked after their moment of silence, unclasping her hands.

"I think you'd like Ghastly," Yami said, unfolding a napkin. "So what _did_ you want to do today?"

"See you work another full day?"

"No. maybe on special occasions, but twice in a row is too much."

"So you _did_ work a full day!" Skulduggery said, looking surprised. "I thought Maxwell was full of it. I bet you gave everyone heart attacks. I'm sorry I missed that."

"Where _were_ you anyway?" Yami asked.

"Tracking down malicious criminal deviants," Skulduggery said, waving a fork around. "Unfortunately, there was only one available, and he went down without much fuss. I swear, these people seek to disappoint me."

"Shame on them."

"Agreed," Skulduggery said. "So in the meantime, hats."

"I want one," the boy—Jack, Teana remembered—said.

"You can't have one yet—you're not tall enough. You have to be able to reach the top of your head."

In response, Jack touched the top of his head.

"I have no excuse then," Skulduggery said. "Wait until this weekend then so we can make a production out of it. And I have to go over proper hat-care with you before then."

Teana looked at Idgy, who shrugged.

"You kind of get used to it," she counseled.

Which worried Teana more than she cared to admit.

*\\*/*

"I don't know about this."

"Just—like Yami says: pretend you know what you're doing," Yuki counselled, leading the way through the Administration Building's meandering halls.

"Right," Jonouchi muttered, rubbing the back of his head as he glanced over his shoulder. "I'll just pretend like I'm following you—should be easy, since that's what I'm doing. Plus, they're not about to hang _you_."

"Hopefully," Yuki muttered.

They walked in silence, pausing only at crossways where Yuki had to remember how to get to the stairs leading to the dungeons.

"So," Jonouchi noised after a while. "How about that Administrator dying?"

Yuki flinched at that. "Uh…can we talk about something else?"

Long silence.

It was several halls later before Jonouchi picked out a different topic. "Seen anything good at the Majestic recently?"

Yuki shook his head. "I've been hanging with Yami—we haven't seen anything lately."

"You guys missed a good Zorro flick, then."

"Maybe we'll go later," Yuki posed, pausing at a stout doorway with stairs leading down.

Jonouchi whistled. "What is _that?"_

"The stairs to the dungeon."

"Uh-huh. _Why_ are we going into the dungeon?"

"Bakura's locked up. I think."

" _Bakura's_ locked up? Better yet, you _think_?"

"I got the information from Administrator Carter," Yuki protested, struggling to keep his voice low as they descended. "I'm…not a hundred percent sure."

"Well, this'll be fun," Jonouchi muttered, following him down.

It didn't take long to pass the main portion where…things happened…and get to the holding cells. Cleaning spells were cast regularly to keep the place smelling decently, and it wasn't too much different than the jail cell at the Commoner police station—these cells were just reinforced magically.

Of course, they weren't reinforced physically, which meant that they were susceptible to being picked. Not that anyone ever got far enough to try…hopefully they'd get it.

"Bakura," Yuki tried to call—his voice came out in a squeak.

"Now how are you going to get his attention like that? _BAKURA!_ " Jonouchi bellowed, making Yuki jump.

"We're not supposed to be letting _everyone_ know we're here!" Yuki scolded, slapping Jonouchi on the arm repeatedly. Not that Jonouchi gave any indication he felt it.

Jonouchi's retort was cut off by a sharp whistle.

They looked up sharply, headed in the general direction it came from—

To find Bakura sitting in a cell.

"So!" Bakura greeted. "What are _you_ in for?"

"That was _my_ question," Jonouchi said, hands on his hips and eyeing the bars. "And why am I even getting you out? You can't do it yourself?"

In response, Bakura rapped on the space between the bars—green sparks skittered across an invisible barrier.

"Alas, I cannot," Bakura said. "Although this honestly feels more like it's supposed to be holding Magicians—my mouth feels dry, and I swear my ears popped."

"The cells must be sealed," Yuki supposed. "They stop a Magician from using their magic."

"That bites," Jonouchi said, peering at the lock. "But this isn't too bad. Give me about five minutes."

"I can do it in two," Bakura said.

"Well you're not out here, are you?"

"Why are you in _there_ , anyway?" Yuki asked.

"I… _might_ have been heading down the street with a lot of machinery," Bakura hedged. "For fixing films. Fortunately, said films weren't _on_ me…but it was more than a little frustrating—I had paid for the stuff and everything."

"Did you really?"

"Don't sound so surprised."

"You prefer lifting stuff to paying for it," Jonouchi put in. "You paying for anything is surprising."

"Oh hush you. Let's just say that the…proprietor…of the Majestic frowns upon someone stealing supplies for his films and radio, especially when he goes and pays for it all and orders it. I suppose it's more tolerable being outbid…not that I bought it."

"Knew it."

"I'll have you know I had to _pay_ for the right to _borrow_ the stuff. And then the Administrators go and confiscate it all. I may have to just ask the proprietor to fix the films himself."

"Yami wouldn't like that," Yuki pointed out, glancing about nervously. "Those are supposed to be a _secret,_ remember? We weren't supposed to be there."

"Let's just say that the proprietor is the sort to keep a secret."

"I'm sorry, are we talking about the same guy?" Jonouchi asked, before making a muted noise of triumph and pulling the door open. "Last I worked there, the manager was a hundred-percent jerk."

"I didn't say the manager," Bakura said, stepping through and inhaling deeply. "I said the proprietor. The two are not the same. Ta, by the way."

"I hope that's _thank you_. Who's the proprietor then?"

"I've said too much," Bakura said, crossing his arms and tipping his head away.

"Why I oughta—"

"Uh," Yuki noised, directing the two older boys' attention back to him. "Can we have this conversation somewhere else? Something bad happened last night."

Jonouchi blinked. "How bad?"

"Real bad?"

"Which reminds me," Bakura said, already heading out. "I need to get my effects back."

Jonouchi grumbled, ran after him, Yuki hot on his heels.

"I still want to know what happened," Jonouchi said to Yuki.

"Not here," Yuki protested. "Later, okay? We'll meet up with Yami and discuss it then."

Jonouchi rolled his eyes, but let it slide. Good.

Yuki was worried enough as it was.


	81. Blame Game

**Chapter 81, everybody! In which we have a massive argument that was a pain to make sure was orderly…and I have a buffer to work on again soon….**

 **The whistle stopping all immediate action is based on a real-life event, where my Mom did the exact same thing in a Wal-Mart to summon my Dad. It works.**

 **Movie this week is** ** _Treasure Planet_** **—beautiful movie, seamless integration of 2D and 3D, great characters and music, and not nearly enough love. Honestly….**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Well, they** ** _did_** **just move in with each other maybe two days ago in story-time, so….Yes they are! I've eaten a few, and they're one of Mom's favorite dishes. That is because tomatoes are a part of the nightshade family, same as potatoes. Of course, why we can eat the tomatoes and potatoes (and who the poor sap was who was hungry enough to try it) is definitely the question…my research is failing me. :\ No, he isn't….**

 **FluffyIdiotIsI, thanks for the review! Yes! Famous last words. D: Hahaha, yes! I…don't know, but he's definitely haunted by the experience (do dead men even sleep?...). Possibly—we've seen that he's avoiding Teana's grave, so….Yes, let's!**

 **Guest-who-is-Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes….I know—I keep checking the wing mirrors to make sure we're in the lane (like I'm one to school my parents who've been driving longer than I've been living '-'). I feel your pain! TvT/**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages)**

 ** _Guardians of Ga'Hoole_** **© 2003 Kathryn Lasky (Hagsfiends and Punkie Night)**

 _ **Batman: The Animated Series**_ **© 1992 Bruce Timm + Paul Dini ("'Gee, thanks for saving my bacon, Robin'")**

 ** _The Sorcerer's Apprentice_** **© 2010 Jon Turteltaub**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say pal, stop talking about me")**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Yami and Kels finally collapsed onto a bench near the Administrator Square, having attempted to run down the questionable cat before finally trying to find everyone else, and not doing too good a job with that, either.

"We could ask Anzu," Kels managed, voice sounding dry. "I bet you she's in the library and being nice enough to stay in one place."

"We could," Yami said, heaving a sigh. "Where is everybody? Did they all take a holiday and not tell me?"

"Or Skellington offed them."

"Not funny, Kels."

"Hey, he bumped off the Administrator."

"We don't know that," Yami said, doffing Horus and rubbing at his scalp vigorously. Wait….

He stood, flung Horus into the air, where the hat morphed into a bird.

"Find Jonouchi and Honda for us!" Yami called.

"Right—on it!" Horus said, winging away.

Kels was glaring at him as he sat back down. "You couldn't have thought of that earlier?"

"I was a little busy with other more immediate topics," Yami snapped back.

"Don't get snippy with me!"

"Hey!"

They looked up to see Yuki, Jonouchi, and Bakura—the last loaded down with projector supplies—running up to them, circled lazily by Horus.

"Found them," Horus said, sounding pompous.

"Great," Yami said. "Now find Honda."

"Gee, _thank you, Horus,_ " Horus said, already winging off. _"No problem, Yami, so glad I could help._"

Horus might have used a few other choice words that Yami had heard Administrator Carter use, but he was already too far away to hear and he had his friends to be immediately concerned with.

"So what's going on?" Jonouchi asked. "Yuki's been kind of vague about the whole thing, and then we had _him_ to deal with—"

"What did _you_ do?" Yami asked Bakura.

"Got arrested and went to jail," Bakura said bluntly.

Yami blinked. "You went to the Administrator Building again, didn't you?"

"Not on purpose. I was actually walking down the street with all this that I _rented legally_ from the proprietor of the Majestic—"

"You actually met him?" Kels asked, sounding awed.

"It was an experience," Bakura confirmed. "Anyway. I was accused of pilfering it and ended up in the slammer. This is news to you?"

"We've been a little busy," Yami said.

"The idiot did an idiot thing," Kels said, thumbing at Yami.

"Do you mind?"

"I do."

"Will someone just tell me what's going on here?" Jonouchi demanded. "Are they bringing back Punkie Night? Please tell me they're bringing that back."

"Punkie Night is _over,_ genius," Bakura said.

"But there's still next year!"

"What's going on?" Honda asked, coming over.

"Found him!" Horus announced. _"Now_ do I get to hear a _thank you?"_

"And I notice you neglected to mention that it was Administrator Carter what told you about him—" Jonouchi continued, looking at Yuki and pointing at Bakura.

"Do what?" Kels asked.

"And we know we can't trust him because of that film—"

"I—he just _told_ me, all right?" Yuki wailed. "And I had to check to make sure—"

Yami put two fingers in his mouth and whistled as hard as he could, causing all action in the immediate area to stop.

"Just these people, sorry," Yami called to the rest of the street at large. Once the general populace had gone about their business, he focused his ire on his friends.

"I have had," he hissed. "Absolutely _no_ sleep, and I have been running all night, and I am _very_ tired right now. So _please_ —stop talking all at once."

Silence for a beat.

"What happened?" Honda asked.

Oi—this was the part he had been dreading.

"I," he hedged, rubbing his face. "May have brought back Skellington last night."

Silence. For a lot more than just one beat.

Bakura spoke first.

"How screwed are we?"

"Hopefully not very."

"Didn't one of the Administrators die last night?" Honda asked.

"Skellington could have offed him!" Jonouchi said quickly, waving his hands. "Revenge and all that! Wasn't he banished for—he was banished," Jonouchi said, paling as he froze. "What happens to someone whose bones are banished?"

"Obviously they don't pass on," Kels said drily.

"Focus please," Yami said, rubbing his forehead.

"Right. How did the Administrator die?" Honda asked. "Nobody said anything."

"From what I heard during my unjust incarceration, he dropped dead from fright," Bakura said.

"Which sounds like the obvious thing to do when a guy you offed comes back from banishment," Jonouchi said, jumping back into the conversation. "I'm surprised he stopped at one!"

"I don't think he wanted to."

"Huh?"

"Administrator Carter, I saw," Bakura said. "His collar's all turned up and he's wearing an ascot, but it doesn't _quite_ hide the bruises around his neck from someone as sharp-eyed as myself. Someone tried to choke him recently."

"Skellington, I bet," Honda said.

"Not necessarily," Yami said sardonically. "I know from Dad that there's more than one person who wants to wring Administrator Carter's neck."

"But—then why help us?" Yuki asked.

"All very good questions, let's focus on them later in favor of the ever-more-important question of _what do we do about Skellington?"_ Kels asked.

Silence.

"Run?" Honda guessed.

"I like that plan," Kels said quickly, pointing. "Balthazar has a suitcase that he hopefully hasn't sold yet—"

"We're not running," Yami said tetchily.

"I'm open to better suggestions."

"She has a point," Jonouchi said, pointing at her. "No offense, Yami, but this guy was—is?—is the best of the best—it took the entire Administration _plus_ your great-grandfather _and_ the Civil Branch to take him down. What are _we_ going to do?"

"I'm hoping we can catch him before he's back to full power," Yami said. "If he was in an alternate dimension, then his magic wouldn't be up to snuff at the moment." He hoped.

" _That_ was him not at full power?" Yuki asked, aghast.

"I don't know, I kind of like the sound of running until we can't run anymore," Bakura said.

"We're talking about running from a possibly-implacable dead guy," Yami pointed out. "Where could we possibly go?"

" _We_ —mainly _I_ —have not yet angered him. As far as he's concerned, I'm probably not a blip on his radar."

"Bakura, humor me: why did you get all that projection equipment?"

"Um…."

"Congratulations, you're a blip on his radar: _you stole something from a dead guy."_

"To be fair, when I usually do that, the dead guy has no objections."

"Yes, well dead guys don't make it a habit to be up and running," Kels said. "But since _I'm_ not a blip on his radar—"

Yami glared at her. "You're a blip on mine."

"This sounds more like _your_ problem. _You_ brought him back."

"And you're going to leave me in the lurch?"

"Maybe."

Jonouchi finally planted himself between the two of them, assisted by Honda. "Knock it off, guys," Jonouchi scolded. "This is serious—it doesn't matter _whose_ fault it is, we're all going to pay for it if we don't get it fixed."

"Wow, that was pretty good," Honda said, looking at him.

"Thanks, I think."

Kels and Yami glared at each other before looking away pointedly.

"So, plan," Jonouchi said. "What is it?"

Yami scrubbed his fingers along his scalp, thinking. "There's a number of things Skellington could be doing right now—we need to figure out what."

"Springing his buddies from the pokey?" Bakura guessed.

"We already did that," Jonouchi said. "And I _still_ haven't heard a thank you, by the way."

"Me neither," Horus put in from his perch on the bench.

"Not _me,_ you idiot," Bakura countered. "Didn't all of Skellington's friends get banished too?"

Silence.

"Ah," Bakura noised. "See, if I were Skellington, I wouldn't be leaving my friends in the lurch. Unless they were incredibly annoying."

"I know what to do the next time you're busted, then," Jonouchi said.

"Me too," Kels said, looking at Yami pointedly.

"Pish," Bakura said, waving them off. "Moving on—think that might be his plan?"

"Maybe," Yami said, thinking. "I mean…they would have tried getting out before, I bet, but it must not work wherever they are."

"Obviously it works from this end," Kels said, with some bite.

"Oh, are you talking to me again?"

"Focus, please," Honda said.

"Depending upon how many people were banished, Skellington might try to do one at a time or a mass summoning spell," Yami guessed, considering. "And if he goes for the big one…it's not the sort of thing you risk doing from memory…."

Bakura snapped his fingers. "Didn't they find that dead Administrator in the Administrator Library?"

"Yes. Skellington's looking for a spell to get his buddies out."

"Is this the sort of thing there would be multiple copies of?" Kels asked.

"Not hardly," Yami said. "If Skellington didn't find it in the Administrator Library…I guess the only place left to look would be the Delvaire Library."

"So you go ask your girlfriend to look for it."

Yami felt all the blood suddenly leave his face.

"While you're at it, start thinking of her sooner," Kels added.

"Hey," Honda said suddenly. "What if Skellington didn't get to finish looking in the Administrator Library? He might try again tonight!"

Yami bit his lip, considering.

"I think I have an idea," he said finally. "Yuki, you're with me."

"And the rest of us, oh fearless leader?" Bakura asked as they dashed off, Horus winging after them.

 _"We'll meet you in the square!"_

"Marvelous. I should have stayed in jail."

"I'll throw you back in," Jonouchi offered.

Yami focused on running for the library and _not_ rolling his eyes and risking missing his footing.

Time was of the essence now.


	82. Plans That Don't Add Up

**Chapter 82, everyone! In which I need to get writing again to work on the buffer….Sorry for the delay, but I had a CITI certificate that needed doing and that took precedence. In other news, it's done. :D**

 **Movie this week (which is also the topic of interest in my new** ** _Don't Starve_** **fic) is the Tim Burton film** ** _Beetlejuice_** **: I love the fact that years of watching HGTV has us now liking Delia's remodel of the house instead of the original look (and the fact that we actually understand what it is Delia and Otho discuss when they pick the house apart).**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! I…don't know, I'm going to have to look….And yet they have the occassional green potato chip that can be eaten without penalty, strangely enough. Not yet….I agree. And I do too—go Yami!**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes, the most dangerous phrase….Darn that Fanfiction. Haha, my Mom has no chill when I drive, so we haven't gotten to that point yet. I think that must be a dad-thing, because my Dad is the same way. Me too….**

 **FluffyIdiotIsI, thanks for the review! You would think….Hahaha, now I'm picturing Yami coming out of a coffin like Johnny Depp did in** ** _Dark Shadows_** **. :D Agreed—I'm listening to the** ** _Animaniacs_** **theme right now, and that's about the level of chill I imagine him with (voted most likely to go randomly skipping down the street by a jury of his peers). Of course! And seriously, Yami, why can't you make that connection? Have them both do it—better yet, have Kineil do it. Yes….**

 **References:**

 _ **Yu-Gi-Oh!**_ **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 _ **The Nightmare Before Christmas**_ **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 _ **Dharma and Greg**_ **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 _ **Skulduggery Pleasant**_ **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages; Skulduggery and Ghastly)**

 _ **Fried Green Tomatoes**_ **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet**

 ** _Hollow Fields_** **© 2007 Madeleine Rosca**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Yami and Skulduggery made it a point to tell Teana beforehand that Ghastly was simply born ugly.

"That's not very nice," she felt obliged to point out as they rode to Bespoke Tailors in the Bentley—and she felt obliged to acknowledge that yes, the Bentley was an excellent ride, especially when compared to the Nightmare. Skulduggery was still glowing from that declaration.

"Well, in cases such as this, bluntness is key," Skulduggery said, shrugging. "Ghastly's mother was cursed while she was pregnant with him, and it manifested in scars that won't go away. Once you get over the initial shock, you hardly notice them."

"Cursed scars. Should we be concerned?"

"They're not contagious."

"I don't know," Yami said. "My sister Helen has a couple of scars that match ones our Mom has, and she never had anything happen to her to cause them."

"Yes, but as far as I know, Teana and Ghastly are not related. We're talking about person-to-person communicable scars, not hereditary ones."

"And suddenly I'm wishing that I stayed with Idgy," Teana said.

"No you don't—she's teaching Jack about algebra. Or trying to. In about an hour, they'll both lose patience with the subject, throw the book down, and run out hunting for bees."

"That doesn't seem very conductive."

"We'll get around to it eventually. Like the next time one of us actually uses algebra in everyday life."

"Is that the one with all the x's and y's?" Yami asked.

"Yes," Skulduggery said, making a turn and cruising at reduced speed. "Let's see…x over y times z over q equals a major headache…or something along those lines."

"I actually liked algebra," Teana felt obliged to point out.

"Really? Marvelous. You can tutor Jack for us. What are your rates?"

"Do what?"

"I believe you just volunteered for algebra services," Skulduggery said, pulling over.

"I don't—why don't you ask Jack's teachers?"

"Because we both already know we can't do a thing with algebra and we're smart enough to outsource. I already know Idgy will love this idea."

Teana looked at Yami, who smiled at her before sliding out and holding the door for her.

"Hold it," she said, wanting to focus on Skulduggery for the moment. "Is Jack homeschooled?"

"Of course; it's not uncommon," Skulduggery said, pulling the key out of the ignition and leaning back to look at her. "We keep up with the educational requirements—which I have direct access to, working at the Administration Building—and we just run until we can't, at which point we outsource. Which is where you come in, apparently."

"But I'm not qualified—what about Miss Weaver? Isn't she making that school?"

"Yes, how _is_ that going, by the way?" Skulduggery projected, looking out the open door.

"It's going," Yami said, leaning to look back in. "Are we not getting out of the car? Can I come back in?"

"No. And you: you know algebra, right? You know how it works?"

"Yes," Teana said. "But—"

"No buts," Skulduggery said airily, checking the wing mirror before opening his door. "Congratulations, you're hired."

Teana's response was to thunk her head against the headrest of the seat in front of her. "Oi."

"Not the car, please."

*\\*/*

Anzu was busy working at the desk when she heard someone call her name in a stage whisper. She looked up to see Yami and Yuki running towards her.

"Oh, you're back," she said. "Got your feathers all straightened out?"

"Anzu! I—do what?" Yami asked.

"Your feathers. From earlier."

"I don't follow."

"Feathers?" Yuki asked, similarly confused.

"Wow," Anzu noised. "Did that Administrator Librarian hit your head or something?"

"Now I _really_ don't follow—we have a problem," Yami said.

"I'll say."

"It's worse than whatever you've got, trust me," Yami said, glancing around to ensure they weren't being eavesdropped on; Yuki started checking the nearby aisles. "I'm working on fixing it, but I thought I ought to let you know—I _may_ have made an extremely boneheaded move last night."

Anzu blinked. "What did you do?"

Yami grimaced. "I… _may_ have brought back Yami Skellington. All of him."

Anzu blinked. Once. Twice.

"I'm putting that on my _list of reasons to panic_ ," she declared finally.

"Fair enough."

"I—wait, is he innocent?" she asked. "Did you ask him anything? What happened?"

"What happened. Well, he got away, for starters. And apparently killed an Administrator on top of things."

"I heard that one died—I didn't hear he was _killed._ "

"For obvious reasons, that's not the sort of thing that's allowed to get out and about immediately after the occurrence."

"For what reason?"

"Mass panic?"

"A parade in the guy's honor?"

"I don't think the Administrators are liked that much."

"I mean for the killer."

"Oh. Um, back to pertinent issues—Yami Skellington. I may have inadvertently put us all into danger. Of the life-threatening sort."

"I thought—it looked like he was innocent. At least, I never saw anything that made him look guilty."

"Right now it doesn't matter if he was or not—we have one Administrator dead, and I don't want any more added to the list."

She gave it some thought before nodding. "Right. So what do we do?"

"I don't know yet," Yami admitted, looking like it pained him to admit as much. "I mean, we have a plan to trip up whatever Skellington's planning, but…." Here he gave a mirthless laugh. "It's a disaster."

She really truly wanted to ask him what he _thought_ would happen, summoning Skellington back from limbo, but she sensed that now wasn't the time for that question. "So what's the plan?" she opted to ask instead.

He seemed cheered by the fact that she had picked that question instead of the obvious, turned to wave at his brother. "Yuki! Get over here!"

"Yuki is part of the plan?" Anzu asked blankly as he ran over.

"Yes—I can't go to the Administration Building, long story, so I need you and Yuki to go to the Administration Library and look for anything that could open up a big portal. If anyone asks, Yuki needs to look it up for a school project and asked you for help. Meantime, I'm going to be trying to find Skellington. Any questions?"

"What are you going to do if you find him?" Anzu asked.

Yami's expression told her he didn't have a plan after that.

"Right," she said, getting up. "I need to tell Miss Binder I'm having to go to the Administration Building. And you: come up with a plan _before_ you find him," she scolded, kissing him on the nose.

And then she and Yuki were off.


	83. Tailor-Made

**Chapter 83, everybody, and Happy Labor Day! If you need me, I'll be working on the buffer for this again….Skulduggery quotes Bill Cosby's "Childbirth" routine, by the way.**

 **Lots of movies this week, since I'm off from school for a week and the Labor Day weekend is upon us, but notable mention goes to** ** _Law Abiding Citizen_** **—interesting tidbit of trivia knowledge: apparently Jamie Foxx and Gerard Butler were supposed to have each other's roles, but Gerard wanted to play the 'bad guy.' Which leads to my next point—apparently, the movie is supposed to be a deconstruction of revenge stories and we're supposed to feel bad about all the people Gerard's character offs….I and my family don't see it like that. :\**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! It might occur to her later….Maybe—"hey! Why are you doing this?" "No time, must be off, important plots to plot!"**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! It could…and this is about the time when we realize that this might be the best idea a bunch of teenagers could come up with by the seat of their pants…they need to sit down and plot better. Maybe it's a parent thing—"Our child is growing up and getting behind the wheel of a two-ton weapon** ** _augh!"_** **Yup, that sounds like my Dad. Ah thank you, same to you! :D Sounds like you've been busy—and voting! Voting is a good thing. I did! Hope you did too! Although I am doing what my Mom is doing and have officially decided to stop aging. We'll see how that goes.**

 **FluffyIdiotIsI, thanks for the review! Yes….And yes—"Ooh, the Teana-lookalike liked that! I think I'll do another!" That reminds me—we went to Maine for my birthday, and my first thought upon eating a lobster was "take** ** _that_** **Administrators!" I just want to thank you for that thought. XD Yes…as much as we and the media may like to think otherwise, a handful of teens aren't** ** _that_** **good at coming up with a kicking plan….Cheers for quick kisses! It might occur to him sometime….Fun fact though—on the first draft, I had intended for Anzu to be wearing Teana's necklace, to further Skellington's confusion; writing it out though, it wasn't meant to be. *shrug***

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages; Skulduggery and Ghastly)**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say, pal, stop using me")**

 _ **Hollow Fields**_ **© 2007 Madeleine Rosca**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

"You seem aggravated. What did I do?"

"I want you to consider what kind of relationship we must have if your first reaction to me being aggravated is to blame yourself," Teana pointed out, sliding out of the car.

"Congratulations, Yami," Skulduggery said, closing his door. "You're ahead of the game."

"I am?" Yami asked blankly. "Wait—if you're not aggravated at me, then what happened? Did Skul do something? Should I have words with him?"

"I'll give you a handicap and let you bring a dictionary."

"Hey…."

"Knock it off, you two," Teana scolded, stepping aside so Yami could close the door.

"I'll have you know I offered her a perfectly respectable job teaching a perfectly unrespectable mathematical subject," Skulduggery said.

"So now you have two jobs. But I thought you liked having—" Yami cut off abruptly upon seeing her expression. "Shutting up now."

"Can I get that in writing?" Teana asked.

"Nice. Very nice. An extra point for you," Skulduggery said, opening the door for them as they crossed the street, prompting a light _ding_ from the bell.

The tailor's was nice on the inside, with warm woods and bolts of fabric all nice and neat, and it smelled nice. Like respectability, maybe, or a guy who actually cleaned house on a regular basis.

"Hello, hello," Skulduggery chimed, ambling for the counter.

"Skul!" she heard someone in the back call. "You don't need another hat! I just made you one!"

"One can never have too many hats," Skulduggery countered as a stack of bolts made their way forward. "Saying that, Idgy needs another one. And we might be getting Jack one finally."

"They grow up so fast," the stack of bolts muttered, the man carrying them evident as he left the cover of the racks. Well, if he was the tailor, at least he was dressed sharply. And big enough that it would take both Hephaestus and Vulcan to match the man's shoulders.

"They do," Skulduggery said, taking his hat off and putting it on his chest, feigning a mournful look. "Why, it feels like only yesterday Idgy was accusing my parents of never being married."

"Maybe _you_ should try having the kid next time," Teana said.

"Which brings us to the reason why we're here," Yami said. "Not that we're…um…."

"The thing, that you said earlier," Teana said, glaring at him. "About not talking—can you do that?"

"It's a physical impossibility," the man carrying the bolts said, putting the bolts on the counter and turning to approach them. "As is getting Skul to do the same, or leave off of hats. Hi, you must be Teana—heard a lot about you. I'm Ghastly."

Teana might have managed a squeak that sounded like _hi_ , and which she sincerely hoped did not sound like what she thought, _yes you are._ The man Ghastly had scars, as Skulduggery and Yami had warned her, running along his bald head like deep furrows. And while he wasn't as tall as Yami, he could definitely break anyone he wanted to in half if he wanted to.

Ghastly seemed used to this sort of reaction. "You want to stick with something simple first? Like waving?"

She ducked her head quickly and stuck her hand out. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," he said, shaking her hand gently. "That's everyone's first reaction. So what can I do for you? Sky's the limit as long as it involves clothes."

"Teana's closet echoes," Yami said.

"We can definitely fix that," Ghastly said, letting go of her hand and pocketing his, looking her up and down. "And I suppose we can make Idgy a hat and pretend that's not really filling Skul's hat fix for the week. So what do you prefer, dresses, pants, shorts, skirts, all of the above, patterns, plain…."

"Economical and practical?" Teana guessed, trying to focus on his tie pin. Staring at his tie pin was probably not rude.

"Now that _will_ be a challenge."

Something clicked just then—she turned to look at Yami, more specifically his tie.

"Now hold it," she said. "Isn't this where you got that tie?"

"Yes," Yami said. "Why?"

"So Yami's tie is the upper limit," Ghastly guessed, rumbling a laugh. "Got it. Why don't you check out the bolts on the counter, and I'll go hunt for some patterns that might flatter you?"

"Something like what I've got on?" Teana asked.

"I can oblige, but I'd rather have something complex so I have a good excuse to not make another hat."

"Are you saying you don't like making hats?" Skulduggery asked.

"I do, but I like variety in my life."

"And you dance," Yami pointed out, tapping Teana on the shoulder. "Let's not forget dancing at the Revue."

"Ooh, now _that_ gives me something to work with."

"Can you stitch his mouth shut?" Teana asked, pointing at Yami.

"Now _that_ will cost extra."

Oi. "I don't—"

"Put it on my tab, Ghastly," Yami said. "Except for the stitching my mouth shut bit."

"I'll pay for that," Skulduggery offered.

Ghastly laughed, winked at Teana as he headed for the back. "I'll get my big needle then."

Teana turned to glare at Yami.

"Don't give me that look," Yami said, rocking back on his heels. "Consider this—I don't know, catching up on all those birthdays and holidays I missed."

"We didn't know each other," Teana said.

"And that is definitely something that needed rectifying."

"And you don't charge me rent or lodgings or anything else—"

"You know, if you married him you'd get half of everything," Skulduggery pointed out.

Teana glared at him.

"Hey, there's an idea!" Yami said. "Why don't we—why don't I quit while I'm ahead?" he guessed, spotting her expression.

"Good idea," she said. "And let's not go there."

"I personally think you're wasting time beating around the bush like this," Skulduggery said, fiddling with a knitting needle and rapping it against the counter. "Honestly, you should get that out of the way sooner rather than later. Like say, middle of next month."

"Are you trying to make it so you win the Revue bet?" Ghastly said, coming back with more bolts.

"Maybe."

"There's actually a bet for—I don't believe you people," Teana said, throwing her hands up.

"I personally am gunning for next August," Ghastly told her, flicking through a nearby rack after depositing the bolts. "It gives you a year and you avoid the cliché of spring weddings. What do you think of the steam-clock cut of clothes?"

"I'm personally aiming for never. And I don't know what that is."

"You're not?" Yami asked, aghast, as Ghastly pulled out a coat to demonstrate the cut.

"Better cancel the caterer," Skulduggery said.

"I don't like the feeling of being pressured into it," Teana informed him. "And that looks more like Miss Weaver's sort of outfit."

"What about a layered skirt?" Ghastly asked, putting the coat up. "Get some different effects that way, and it'd be something else when you danced."

"Maybe. Paisley?"

"Ah, now you're speaking my language."

"I'm being too forward again?" Yami guessed.

"Yes," Teana told him. "And that's a lot of color for one piece of fabric."

"It's fun to work with and keeps some of the smaller pests out of the closet," Ghastly said.

"Like moths?"

"Gnomes, more likely—some magical creatures don't like multicolored thread."

"Does it repel Magicians?"

"Ouch," Yami muttered.

"I haven't found anything that does that yet—unfortunately, they're persistent."

"What do you mean, _they?"_ Skulduggery asked. "Are you a Magician or not?"

"On the practical side," Ghastly countered, putting the bolt on the counter. "And not with sewing—no need to overcomplicate something that doing by hand does better."

"I'm suddenly really liking your style," Teana said.

"Wonderful. Let's talk shirts."

*\\*/*

Miss Binder was informed, and other than telling her that she needed to come back later and help with the older books, Anzu was free to go.

"This is bad, isn't it?" she asked Yuki as they left the library, not at quite a full sprint, but close.

"It's not good," Yuki agreed, looking worried.

And slowing down the closer they got to the Administration Building.

"What, what is it?" she asked, returning to his side. "It's not that dead Administrator, is it?"

"N-no," Yuki said, shuffling. "It's just…I ran into Administrator Carter earlier."

"Um…okay…."

Yuki scuffed his foot on the cobbling. "And…we saw him in the old reel…."

"Yeah…."

"I…he saw me this morning."

She blinked. "Okay…."

"And…he was the one who told me where Bakura was…."

"Okay…oh. _Oh_. You think…he might be trying to get you into trouble."

Yuki nodded.

Anzu tried to think if she had come face-to-face with Administrator Carter. Maybe at the Masquerade Ball, but she wasn't sure. "I…listen. We can bluff our way through this. Don't worry."

Yuki didn't seem convinced, but he let her hold his hand and lead him up the steps and into the Administration Building.

Upon entry into the huge foyer, it occurred to her that she had never actually been _in_ the Administration Building before.

"Where's the library from here?" she asked Yuki quietly.

Yuki pointed ahead and to the left wordlessly, continuously glancing around and behind as though expecting Administrator Carter to just suddenly pop up out of nowhere. Anzu tugged on his arm, prompting him to fall into step next to her as they headed for where he indicated. Just—act like you belonged, right? Or was it act like you were busy? Maybe it was act like you were busy—people were less likely to stop you if you looked busy.

"Hey!"

"Keep walking—it probably isn't us," she said out of the corner of her mouth.

"Hey!"

"I think it's us," Yuki said.

"Not until they say it specifically," she said.

And then some harried guy a few years older than her and wearing some sort of tunic over his suit skidded to a halt in front of her, hands up.

"Where do you think you're going?" he demanded.

"The library?" she guessed. "I'm here to appeal for a book doctor and help him—" indicate Yuki. "With his school assignment. Now unless you'd like to point us in the right direction or take us there…."

"The only thing I'm showing you is the door," the page said, arms out—like he was somehow barring their way in this huge room. She glanced down at Yuki—who seemed to be having some sort of internal debate.

Which apparently got resolved, if his next statement was any indication.

"Hey, is that Administrator Carter?" he asked.

The page was suddenly gone with such immediacy, Anzu was surprised he didn't leave a dust trail.

"Does he have that much of a reputation?" she asked.

"He scares all the pages," Yuki confirmed. "Can we go now?"

"Yes—come on."

They went down a large side hall, stopped to examine a floor plan, adjusted their trajectory until they were in front of the Administrator Library entrance—

There was a rope in front of the entrance and a page sitting at a podium next to it. Not good.

"Oh," Yuki said quietly. "I forgot about the guard."

"Come on," Anzu said, feeling she had the perfect counter.

Which was why they were in front of the podium moments later.

"The library is closed," the page said.

"Administrator Carter is looking for you," Anzu said.

It was concerning, the way the page's face drained of all color—as was his haste in scrambling away.

"We should feel bad about that, kinda," Yuki said, as Anzu ducked under the rope.

"Maybe," she agreed, lifting it up a little for him. "Now come on—let's start looking."


	84. Calculating

**Chapter 84, everyone! In which the writer needs to focus on the next couple of chapters—darn inspiration hitting elsewhere. On a more entertaining note: I used 'pundit' here and looked it up, as I'm wont to do when I use a word with only a vague idea of the meaning and want to make sure it means what I think (like me using the turn 'fob off' when a fob is, in reality, that tiny pocket in your jeans—just looked it up to make sure, and it can also refer to the chain of the pocket watch that the fob pocket is supposed to store, as well as being an old term for cheat or deceive. This has been another useless fact). Pundit, to get back on track, means an expert or an authority on some subject, and was something Mom asked me the meaning of shortly after I wrote the section it appears in. How strange. *-***

 **Oh, and the okra and squash is a reference to our own garden—we lost our squash to a bunch of annoying bugs, but the okra's doing incredibly well, and since Mom won't touch the plants (because they do eat you up) Dad has to pick it. In other news, we've gotten quite a few aircraft buzzing low over our garden—Mom is of the opinion this is because tomato and okra plants bear a passing resemblance to marijuana plants.**

 **In other news: that moment of Maxwellian snark cost me a few brain cells as I worked to recall high-school English class. X| "The _magnificent_ Maxwell" is how I usually have him introduce himself, and references the _Don't Starve/Great Gatsby_ story I did a few years back. Self-promotion for the win! :)**

 **Movies this week are** ** _Rear Window_** **and** ** _The Three Faces of Eve_** **:**

 ** _Rear Window_** **– we were channel-hopping one day waiting for breakfast (Dad always serves it to us in bed on the weekends :D) when Mom came across this movie and I realized I recognized it. This Alfred Hitchcock movie is what inspired the Shia LeBeouf film** ** _Disturbia_** **, and helps me to understand just why Skulduggery Pleasant has a crush on Grace Kelly (said flat-out in the** ** _Playing With Fire_** **book). We started watching it because of it being the film that inspired** ** _Disturbia_** **(which we liked) and stayed because we were honestly hooked—Hitchcock does a marvelous job of keeping everyone guessing, because the storyline isn't resolved until the last five minutes and no body is ever shown. An excellent movie, and one I'm going to watch again. :D**

 ** _The Three Faces of Eve_** **– this came on right after** ** _Rear Window_** **on the channel we were watching, and is very interesting if you like** ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **Permit me to explain: the main character, Eve, has multiple personality disorder, which is triggered by a traumatic event and results in more than one personality in the body. The one personality is aware of what the other is doing, but not the other way around, and the one at the disadvantage experiences blackouts when the other personality takes over. Sound familiar? It's a wonder no one ever sent Yugi or Bakura to a psychiatrist (but then I'm sure the Shadow Realm has enough of those).**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! I did! I hope your holiday was enjoyable too. :D It does—and this is true. She's not ready to commit. D: Actually, depending on the colors, a paisley skirt can actually be pretty striking. Yes…I suppose ignorance is bliss here. Ah, see, you said it and tempted Murphy's Law….Yami first needs the means to make such a portal—hence second reason why Anzu and Yuki are off to the library. :D**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes….This is true. And this is true—it's a universal parent thing (Atem's parents:** ** _"Slow that chariot down! You'll break something!"_** **). Same here—I had no time this summer from everything that was going on. XP So long as you stay abreast of the topics….It does—and Mom pulls it off just fine, so I have some hope. :D**

 **FluffyIdiotIsI, thanks for the review! That's okay—I apologize for the late chapter. ^^; You did. :D I'm glad you're liking the snippets—it's tempting to just go off on tangents and explain things in detail, but I know that annoys me when I encounter it in stories, so I try not to do it. A side thing that does it sounds like a good idea though—I'll do that. :D Yes! Ghastly may be a sight, but at least he makes sense! Yes! Or at least slow him down-*looks down* "What's wrong with my tie?" *paf!* Eh…recently it's been for more practical purposes, but Administrator Carter is one of those fellas that need constant distraction, mostly because they can be downright nasty when left to their own devices (tormenting people for entertainment? Seems legit to Maxwell, who in his own canon traps random saps in the Shadowlands). No they cannot, although some parental assistance could be useful right about now….**

 **References:**

 ** _Yu-Gi-Oh!_** **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 ** _The Nightmare Before Christmas_** **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 ** _Dharma and Greg_** **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 ** _Skulduggery Pleasant_** **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages; Skulduggery, Ghastly, and the Children of the Spider)**

 ** _Fried Green Tomatoes_** **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet**

 _ **Don't Starve**_ **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say pal, did you think I'd let you get away with that?")**

 ** _Portal_** **© 2007 Valve (brief reference)**

 ** _Which Witch?_** **© 1979 Eva Ibbotson (Joe the Seven-Legged Spider comes from that)**

 ** _Jurassic Park_** **© 1993 Steven Spielberg ("So! Who's hungry?")**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

"Well that was nice."

"Nice, yes," Teana noised as they drove back to the Pleasant's house. "I notice you didn't let me look at the receipt."

"I told you, it was a gift," Yami insisted, waving her concerns away. "And you're not supposed to know how much a gift costs. That's looking a gift horse in the mouth, isn't it?"

"Dear me, I'm glad Idgy isn't this particular about the gifts I get her," Skulduggery said.

" _You_ just keep driving," Teana said.

"I will," Skulduggery said brightly. "Because this is _my_ car, and I do so very much love this car. And she loves me—don't you girl?"

Teana did a slow take to Yami, tipped her head to indicate Skulduggery.

"I saw that," Skulduggery said.

"Skulduggery likes his car," Yami said.

"No I do not. To say I _like_ my car is to intimate that I employ the same level of enjoyment that I give a nice breeze, or seeing an Administrator trip on a crack. I love my car with the same amount of love I give my wife."

"Idgy's okay with sharing him, apparently."

"It helps that she loves this car too."

"Isn't the only other car in town the one Heph and Vul drive?" Teana asked. "It's not like there's any competition."

"You're right, there isn't," Skulduggery said, driving into the garage. "Because this car is at the top of the automotive food chain."

"Please tell me we're done," Teana said to Yami.

"We may have to have Skul chauffer us again to pick up your clothes," Yami admitted sheepishly.

Teana sighed, slid out of the door Skulduggery opened for her, watched as Yami got out and shut the door, followed Skulduggery into the house.

"Honey, we're home!" Skulduggery said, sticking his head into the living room. "Abandoned homework—backyard."

"So that's why you made detective," Teana observed drily.

"It's a gift," Skulduggery sighed, going out the open back door and into the yard, where indeed Idgy and Jack were puttering around a garden—Teana glanced back at Yami, who indicated that they follow.

Teana was immediately accosted by Idgy upon stepping out and embraced in a tight hug.

"Oh, _thank you,"_ she said, kissing her on the cheek. "Thank you thank you thank you—that subject is _evil."_

"I'm guessing Skulduggery told you about that thought he had," Teana sighed, trying to peel Idgy off.

"He did. And I'm not letting go unless you agree. I'm a desperate woman."

"Fine, fine…."

"Perfect!" Idgy said, letting go. "You want to stay for lunch? We have squash. Oh hon, ratatouille's for dinner."

"We must have a _lot_ of squash," Skulduggery said, looking at the offending plants.

"And you need to pick okra. It eats me alive," Idgy said to Teana.

"Oh good for me."

"Dad, Dad, I put some spiders on the squash to eat the bugs sucking on them—Mom says they're eating the roots," Jack said, running up to Skulduggery.

"Oh good for the spiders—and I see you found _more_ , besides."

"How good are you with spiders?" Idgy asked Teana.

"Why?" Teana asked.

"In other news, Miss Teana will be teaching you algebra from now on," Skulduggery said, pointing at her.

Jack looked at her before running over.

"Is it going to be less boring?" he asked her.

"Hopefully," Teana said, fairly certain she saw something move in his tawny brown hair.

"Can my friends come?"

"I thought it was just him," Teana said to Idgy.

"Jack's friends are much smaller," Idgy said. "And eight-legged."

"Except for Joe," Jack said, fishing around his shirt before coming up with a spider that handily fit in his palm. "He only has seven, see?"

Teana was fairly certain she was pressed up against Yami at the moment, and that Yami saw no issue with this. "Uh…they won't need to come," she squeaked.

"Why not?"

"Uh…spiders don't use algebra."

"They use geometry and trig," Yami said.

"Not helping."

"We'll be spider-less for the lesson," Idgy said, shooing Jack away. "Now go put your friends back and get cleaned up for lunch. I'll be back."

"We're hoping it's a phase," Skulduggery said, scratching his ear as he came over.

"What, the spiders?" Teana asked. "That's a boy thing, isn't it? Fascination with bugs and all that?"

"Spiders are arachnids," Yami pointed out.

"Not helping."

"Hopefully—the way he talks, he can _hear_ the blasted things," Skulduggery said, making sure Jack was out of earshot before continuing. "Personally, I'm glad we're _here_ rather than my old stomping grounds—if he ever heard about the Children of the Spider, that'd be that. I mean, we love him dearly, and would support him in whatever he wants to pursue—within law-abiding reason, of course—but turning into a giant spider is pushing it."

Teana took a few moments to process that. "Please," she said finally. "Tell me that wherever you used to live is far away from here."

"Across the pond, actually. The big pond, the one that no amount of ducks could carry away. Good thing on the distance too—the way they transform is all sorts of nasty. And the women keep spiders in their bodies, like a giant…spider-hive…thing."

Teana felt faint.

Which was about the time Idgy came back with Jack and a pan of veggies in tow.

"So!" she said brightly. "Who's hungry?"

*\\*/*

It was several moments later and a sober observation of the roped-off location of Administrator Mesthil's death before they managed to find an aisle that might have had what they were looking for.

"Portals, apertures," Anzu muttered, fingering the books as she read the titles. "What are we looking for, exactly?"

"Something that makes a _big_ portal," Yuki said, opening a book about moon rocks and glancing through it before putting it back—how one would get rocks from the moon was beyond her. "Because…well…."

Anzu could guess what that _well_ encompassed. "And then what? It's not like we could check it out of the library—we just chased off the only attendant."

"I can say it's for school. Hopefully," Yuki said, although he looked and sounded like he didn't fully believe it.

Anzu took a deep breath, tried to think positive.

"Okay then," she said. "So we can probably rule out…I don't know, portals that stay in one dimension. Inter-dimensional portals, maybe," she added, glancing along the shelves. Stocked full of books with words and terms foreign to her— _hopeless_ suddenly occurred to her. "Why isn't Yami here looking for it?"

Yuki bit his lip. "Um…Dad…kind of banned him from the Administration Building."

"Do what?"

"Well…he figured that Yami would be wanting to go to the Administration Library…and get into some books above his station…and if he was caught, he'd get into trouble…."

Anzu suddenly had some idea how the page from earlier felt: like all the blood suddenly abandoned her body.

They literally had no excuse for being here.

She glanced at the shelves opposite them before directing Yuki. "Go around, see if this is the only shelf—the sooner we're out of here, the better."

Yuki nodded, dashed off as Anzu quickly fingered through the books. She had no idea what she was looking for or even what she would do if she found something that might be it—panic was starting to well up in her stomach, and it occurred to her that she might miss something in her haste—

"Say, _pal,_ you don't look so good."

She screamed, nearly climbed up the shelves in her haste to put some distance between herself and the guy she was spinning to face—

And then cricking her neck to look him in the eye. Good gravy, he was tall.

And a little surprised to see her, if his expression was any indication. "What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"I…what?" she asked, scrambling for a precious few seconds to compose herself.

Except her response apparently prompted a half-lidded stare from the guy. "Well, let me repeat myself and break it down for you: what, adverb; are, verb; you, subject, meaning the person in front of me; doing, verb; here, adverb, meaning location, meaning in front of me, in the Administration Library, which last I checked, was _closed_. Or did you miss the little rope in the front there?"

Anzu decided right then and there that she didn't like this guy. "I'm sorry, who are you?"

That—apparently confirmed something for him; his expression shifted subtly as he rocked back on his heels and hooked a hand on his lapel, the other on his hip.

"Me? I am the _magnificent_ Maxwell, although most pundits call me Administrator Carter."

Oop.

"Oh, _that_ one you heard of," he said, tipping his head and grinning in a way that struck her as vicious. "Say, maybe you can tell me who's been tossing my name at pages today—I prefer to actually be _doing_ the things I'm getting blamed for."

"I…wouldn't know," she hedged.

"I see. And your reason for being here, do you know _that_? What are you, morbid and want to see the crime scene?"

Quick—at least _try_ one of your excuses! "I'm…looking for a book doctor."

"Uh- _huh._ Did you miss the part where the library was _closed?"_

"I work for the Delvaire Public Library. And obviously I did, otherwise I'd still be there instead of here on a wild goose chase." In every sense of the term.

"So you're here, by yourself, looking for a book doctor," he confirmed, rocking back on his heels before leaning forward—she smelled cigar smoke, and noted uncomfortably that up close, his hooded eyes actually looked dark with pale irises. "Is that your _final_ answer?"

She nodded, not trusting her voice at the moment and trying her very best not to lean away from him—there was just something about him that was…off-putting, beyond the fact that he was an Administrator—

 _And had known Skellington._

Had he helped the Boogie Mage last night?

And then he was rocking backward again, giving her her much-needed personal space back; she resisted heaving a sigh of relief.

 _"Right,"_ he drawled, thumbs hooked in his belt loops. "One moment."

And then suddenly he was gone, with such immediacy that she yelped in alarm—like he had just dropped right out of existence.

And then someone else yelped too—

And then Administrator Carter was rounding the corner, one hand firmly gripped on the back of Yuki's neck.

"Let me guess: this is your little helper?" Administrator Carter asked, quickly swinging from a jovial tone to an aggravated one within the space of a single sentence. "Both of you: _out_. Out of this library, and out of this building."

Anzu started to move—

Administrator Carter's hand was suddenly on her shoulder.

"Nah-ah," he noised, shaking his head sagely. "This is the sort of thing I prefer to make _sure_ of."

And then suddenly they were falling into blackness.


	85. Conversing

**Chapter 85, everybody! Although I think this qualifies more as a Christmas miracle—yes, I'm back with an update, and will be updating all my active stories this week so we end the year on a high note. Can't guarantee regular updates for the next month or so, but I'll be doing my best to focus on these so we can entertain regular updates once again. :D**

 **Also, got around to reading the latest Skulduggery Pleasant book—don't waste your time with it.**

 **There's a reference in this chapter to the gospel song "Run On (God's Gonna Cut You Down)", which you may have heard Johnny Cash sing recently and Elvis Presley sing prior. I recommend looking it up and giving it a listen, but the gist of it is that you get away with nothing—a point that's going to be important later on in the story.**

 **Movie this week is _White Christmas_ , my family's favorite Christmas movie—I think it was the first time I had ever watched the whole thing, and I have to say that I love it too. Nice and clean, good music, nice jokes—definitely my favorite Christmas movie ( _Nightmare Before Christmas_ doesn't entirely count, since I watch that one year round).**

 **Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Not sure—maybe it's the random chance of getting spider-powers, or that some people are allergic, or that some people don't like being bitten in the middle of the night (like my Mom that one time). They do, which is why I prefer them to be outside—we have spiders that easily fit in the palm of my hand. They hang out in my chicken house—the chickens don't eat them. I think they're scared of the spiders, to be honest….Yes—that was straight from the _Skulduggery Pleasant_ books. :P Yes, well….**

 **Fromtheashtrees, thanks for the review! Yes, well….You have no idea…and then my creative juices are diverted to elsewhere (on the positive side, when I finish my active stories up, the next ones will have a nice head of steam on them). Nope—it can be done! :D**

 **FluffyIdiotIsI, thanks for the review! I do too—I'd probably overlap it with my _Glint and the Pirates_ work, since I tend to put anything original into that world (including having Delvaire mentioned on a map). We shall see in this coming year. :D Yes…it would be their luck that the elder Yami is adept at insult-sword-fighting: "You fight like a cow!" Yes, much to Maxwell's chagrin….Yes please. Well, hopefully it was worth the wait. ^^;**

 **References:**

 _ **Yu-Gi-Oh!**_ **© 1996 Kazuki Takahashi**

 _ **The Nightmare Before Christmas**_ **© 1993 Tim Burton**

 _ **Dharma and Greg**_ **© 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)**

 _ **Skulduggery Pleasant**_ **© 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages; Skulduggery, Ghastly, and Serpine)**

 _ **Fried Green Tomatoes**_ **(movie) © 1991 Jon Avnet**

 ** _Don't Starve_** **© 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say pal, get lost")**

 ** _Lackadaisy Cats_** **© 2006 Tracy J. Butler (go with her humanized versions of the characters for now)**

 ** _The Shadow_** **© Conde-Nast (exact date difficult to ascertain—first radio appearance was in 1930; first print appearance was in 1931)**

 _ **The Lone Ranger**_ **© 2013 Gore Verbinski ("Must to go")**

 **Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)**

Whatever Administrator Carter did, it was entirely unpleasant—dark and pitch and feeling like there were _things_ in the darkness trying to snatch at her—

And then suddenly she was back out in the sun—

And very nearly tripping down the Administration Building steps.

She managed to catch herself, catch Yuki before he went tumbling past her, went down a few more steps to keep from pitching down the steps and breaking their necks. It wasn't until the little platform at the center of the steps that they finally did lose momentum without landing face-first on the ground.

"So long, have a nice trip, see you next fall and all that rot!" Administrator Carter said, giving them a little finger wave from the top of the steps, still with that vicious grin. Yup, definitely hated him now.

"You could have killed us!" she yelled up at him.

"Oh, wouldn't that be just my luck!" Administrator Carter called down, already turning to head back into the building. "Then I'd have the joy of you _and_ her teaming up on me!"

Anzu steamed, wanting to run up there and give that jerk a what-for….

Who was _her,_ exactly?

She shook her head, turned and started heading down the steps.

"Come on," she said to Yuki. "We might as well find Yami and tell him it was a bust."

*/*\\*

"So how was your day?"

"Wouldn't you know, seeing as how you were there?" Teana asked, glancing up from her dinner.

"This is true, I was indeed," Yami said, pouring her another glass of wine—from the Mays' personal stores, she was told. "But my name is not Lamont Cranston, so therefore I don't know if you enjoyed it or not."

"You should be able to tell by my reactions and tone."

"I should, but I notice they tend towards sardonic—you and Kineil both. Is there a class or something that's just for women?"

"No," Teana said, stirring her peas into her mashed potatoes. "It's a very special talent passed down from mother to daughter—we can't risk getting too many people in together, or someone might get suspicious."

"Which, unfortunately, means we must be getting rid of you," Mitzi said, coming up to lean on the side of his wingback. "Seeing as how you know too much."

"So there _is_ a class on sardonicism," Yami said, eyebrows askew.

"I can neither confirm nor deny that. And I suppose I'll be having to do it with Ivy, seeing as how we've finally found something Atlas isn't good at."

Teana very nearly choked on her wine.

"Well, he _is_ good at _that,_ " Mitzi clarified. "It's just that he has no luck in instigating an event to follow nine months later."

"Gee, I think I hear someone calling me. _Max!"_ Yami yelled across the way, all but squirming in his seat.

" _What?"_ Maxwell yelled back.

"See? Must to go."

If it weren't for Mitzi steadying the chair, Teana was fairly certain Yami would have knocked it backwards in his haste to flee.

"Well, now that _he's_ out of the way," Mitzi said, settling into his chair. "How was your day?"

"I can't tell—did you do that just to get rid of him?" Teana asked, pointing.

"Well, I can't imagine you wanting to discuss that aspect of my life—"

"No, no, I just want to know if that works every time."

"Careful dear—me discussing it makes him uncomfortable because I'm his friend. _You_ discussing it might have him scrambling for a ring—and as one acquaintance to another, I'm really hoping for next August."

"You and Ghastly both."

"Yes, I noticed—he's been waiting for Yami to bring you in so he could get your measurements; you have bridal outfits in your future."

"I take comfort in the fact that he didn't actually _take_ any measurements."

"He doesn't need to—he's just that good."

Teana groaned and buried her face in her arms.

Mitzi patted her arm sympathetically. "Yes, well, we all love you; but unfortunately, the collective known as Skellington's friends enjoy watching him scramble too much."

"You people need better hobbies."

"If you ever have children, betting on the messes they get into will probably be it."

"We're still _dating_ , I want you to know—and that's tentative."

"And yet you're living under his roof."

"Don't go there."

"Fair enough. And what's this I hear about another job? Am I working you too hard or not enough?"

"I—how did you know about that?"

Mitzi suddenly very much reminded Teana of a cat with its eyes on a canary. "The Delvaire grapevine, dear—anything and everything that goes on in this town goes through us first. It's why the Board is such a success."

"Does no one understand the concept of privacy?"

"As a matter of fact, we completely understand the boundaries of private and public actions—it's part of the modus operandi."

Teana flapped her hands at Mitzi and glared across the way at nothing.

"Oh dear, now I've gone and made you recalcitrant," Mitzi said, picking up Yami's abandoned wine glass and examining it. "And after I gave you our best wine and sending you home with a bottle besides."

"When was this?" Teana asked, sparing her a glance.

"Well, I gave it to Yami and told him it was yours—giving it to _you_ would have it sitting on the table at the end of the night. Whatever happened, I wonder, that made you so hesitant to accept gifts from people you know?"

"Now _that_ —is a private matter."

"Ah, but what you do in the dark will be brought to the light—we all have private things we wish to keep that way, but someday it all comes out. It's an immutable fact of life."

Teana sighed. "Yeah. But can we wait until then?"

"I suppose I have the patience for it," Mitzi sighed, putting the glass back on the table. "If you're done eating, dear, the dance floor is calling."

*\\*/*

"Stupid sorry sunnova—if that's one of your ideas of a joke—"

"Talking to ourselves again?"

Maxwell paused in his steaming stalk across the lobby to spare a glare at Administrator Serpine. Great—one of the guys he _couldn't_ out-and-out sass.

That red right hand of his made it too difficult.

"No, I'm just going over my grocery list," Maxwell said coolly. "Matter of fact, since it's such a slow day here—ta!"

And he was gone through the shadows before Serpine could react, out in his usual alley and heading for the graveyard before he hit the brakes. In broad daylight, _really?_

…With Skellington probably staking the place out?...

"Ugh," Maxwell spat, stalking away. "I should have never—I should have taken off the _second_ I thought things were going south." He should have taken off the second he saw his new chair.

No…he should have taken off the second Skellington started falling for his beau.

Maxwell sighed and used his shadow travel to duck into Massenborough while he waited for nightfall. By then, Skellington would be making his move again, and he….

Maxwell sighed, knowing just what he'd be doing tonight.

Going back to that stupid graveyard and finding out what he was supposed to be doing.

Oi vey.


End file.
